5th Grade DD and boyfriend texting "I love you", WTF?

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I've been looking through my 11 year old daughter's texts and saw that she has a boyfriend. Didn't particularly bother me. They only see each other at school and they're not even in the same class; However I just looked again tonight and for the past 2 days they've been going on about how wonderful and special the other one is and how they love each other so so much. There must be at least 20 I love you's between the two of them.
This is really way more than what I would expect for a 5th grade "relationship". I'm not sure what if anything I should do about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so I've been looking through my 11 year old daughter's texts and saw that she has a boyfriend. Didn't particularly bother me. They only see each other at school and they're not even in the same class; However I just looked again tonight and for the past 2 days they've been going on about how wonderful and special the other one is and how they love each other so so much. There must be at least 20 I love you's between the two of them.
This is really way more than what I would expect for a 5th grade "relationship". I'm not sure what if anything I should do about it.

Nothing. They will be "loving" other people in a week.

[Anonymous]

I would immediately decide the family is going tech free for the week beginning right this second. Totally unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

You're ok with a boyfriend but not I love you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would immediately decide the family is going tech free for the week beginning right this second. Totally unacceptable.

Why? If they're never unsupervised together, texts are monitored, and they engage in age appropriate activities with groups of friends only, then I wouldn't be alarmed by this. It's probably cute and temporary but they still like each other when they're older they can date properly at a more appropriate age. Either way this seems harmless to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're ok with a boyfriend but not I love you?

I would have considered a 5th grade boyfriend to be rather innocent. My memories of these relationships involve a boy Asking a girl to "go out" with him and nothing much happening from there. Seeing the endless declarations of love threw me for a loop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would immediately decide the family is going tech free for the week beginning right this second. Totally unacceptable.

Why? If they're never unsupervised together, texts are monitored, and they engage in age appropriate activities with groups of friends only, then I wouldn't be alarmed by this. It's probably cute and temporary but they still like each other when they're older they can date properly at a more appropriate age. Either way this seems harmless to me.

It is not an age-appropriate activity for an 11 yr old or 5th grader to say "I love you" to someone they're not related to.

[Anonymous]

They don't understand what love is. I remember thinking that I "loved" my 6th grade crush despite having barely spoken two words to him. In my own time, when I was much older, I obviously came to understand what love really is. It's something your kid should learn on their own. It's not something their parents can control.

They'll both mature and work out what they really feel. Just monitor for your daughter's safety and mostly let them be. It will run its course.

[Anonymous]

I think 5th grade not having a text device would help this a lot..

[Anonymous]

It's the modern form of passing notes.

Sexting you should worrry about. Bullying or controlling messages should be a concern. This doesn't sound like a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 5th grade not having a text device would help this a lot..

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks this.

[Anonymous]

This is what they think having a boyfriend is about. This is not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the modern form of passing notes.

Sexting you should worrry about. Bullying or controlling messages should be a concern. This doesn't sound like a big deal.

+1

[Anonymous]

5th grade is early to have unimpeded access to a device w/texting. And early from what I can tell for exclusive 'dating' nowadays too. I would rethink your rules on tech personally. It's not that declarations of love are so dangerous, it's the escalation of a pseudo-romantic relationship, combined with the stupidity of ALL kids w/technology, that I'd worry about. I have a middle schooler btw.

I'm also not keen on seeing kids get "serious" early even if it's kind of silly. I had a friend who started "dating" her first boyfriend in 6th grade and it continued until he dumped her as a senior. It left her incredibly insecure, literally for life. Her entire self-image had become wrapped up in this silly childhood romance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 5th grade not having a text device would help this a lot..

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks this.

+1 many get smartphones in 7th grade, and I think even that is too young.