Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Maryland and we've never had a non-English speaker care for our child. Maybe it's different in DC and Nova, but all of our daycare workers have been black women. My daughters first school also had a dominican lady who was basically black but she spoke english very well. When I looked at some other daycares I saw white or black women mostly.

I don't think anyone's referring to race here. Simply speaking English clearly and fluently.

Yes they all were native English speakers except the one Dominican laday. I've not encountered any foreigners in any of the daycares I visited for the most part.

Our child's infant teacher had a bachelor's degree in early childhood education also. Her current teacher is in college finishing up her bachelor's degree in early childhood education. My cousin is also a nanny for a white family in DC and is African American. She has her college degree and is a born and bred American.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If so many children are being cared for by non-English speaking caregivers, then why isn't there a crisis in the DC area of American-born children entering kindergarten with broken English skills?

I don't think all those ESOL classes are full of daycare kids.

Wow, it's amazing how far some people will go in claiming daycare is awful in order to justify their own choice in how to raise their children. If you are so pleased as punch with yourselves for being SAHM then just be happy with that. Why are you trying so very hard to prove your way is better?

Plenty of SAHMs are well adjusted, educated, and secure in their life choices. But wow ... some literally have nothing going for them so their entire identity is wrapped up in SAH. My guess is that these are the SAHMs who cannot find a job that will cover the cost of quality childcare or who have absentee spouses so they are default single parents. I feel sorry for your children that your entire self esteem is wrapped up in being a "better" parent than everyone else. The same goes for working moms who get their self esteem from their career and tell SAHMs they are worthless.

To all you normal moms, this post isn't about you. Most of us also have identities (hobbies, possibly careers, volunteer activities, loving marriages, etc.) and don't need to resort to shaming other moms to feel good about ourselves. I wish we could start our own forum and kick out the zealots.

Hello. There IS a crisis. It's politely called "special needs." Speech therapy galore.

Funny how I know SAHMs whose kids have speech and language issues. What can they blame it on if these problems are allegedly caused by childcare? Also, the child mind is much more adept at picking up differences and adapting to hearing multiple languages. I have never seen a single study claim children being exposed to multiple languages are somehow harmed. In fact the opposite is quite true.

I don't care WHO is supposed to be doing the care, but POOR quality care usually has POOR quality results.
Agree?

At least one person here seems to have missed my above comment.
And no, I'm not done here.

Plus, I don't think all the "special needs" children in speech therapy suddenly inherited their parents bad genes. Either too much TV or poor quality care during the first three foundational years of life. Or both. So sad.

Wait. You're blaming SN parents for causing their children's special needs by letting them watch too much TV or leaving them in a bad daycare?

You are too much of a jerk to be an actual human being. The SN parents I know work harder than anyone else I've ever met -- 24/7.

You're despicable. Please go somewhere and try and find a soul.

Calm down, lady. Let's focus on taking some appropriate responsibility rather than "blaming" anyone.

Here's the question:
Do you believe children with broken-English (at best) primary caregivers, are likely to have a solid command of language by age three?

You are fucking crazy. Seriously. I debated with you a few days ago then let the thread - come back and you're at it with others. What is your end game here?

Nope, sorry - different person you're now "debating". Might want to stop assuming only one person holds any given opinion.

Oh good grief- if you're so worried about being mistaken for someone else, sign up for a bloody username!! Seriously, it is not that hard. Otherwise accept that similar posts may be attributed to the same person.

Especially when that person is now saying that kids are speech delayed because of ESOL caregivers. And these are the women who claim they're such a great influence on their snowflakes! I just ... I can't.

I am one of the previous posters who said that having a non-English speaking person care for my baby/toddler/young child would not be optimum, especially as we're trying to establish English first and foremost. I also pointed out that most childcare providers do not speak English as their first language. I am not, however, the poster who says speech delayed kids are due to having ESOL caregivers.

I believe there are several other posters with similar, yet varying points of view on this topic. Got it?

Yup - you're a FTM SAHM. Cute.

Actually, no - but you keep on going with the assumptions. It only makes you look more foolish.

she's foolish?

to quote you:
most childcare providers do not speak English as their first language.

there are no words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

Usually higher quality equates with higher price. Maybe that's what cheapskate parents are worried about. $$$

I imagine these "cheapskates" you are posting about are trying to do the best they can to put food on the table and keep a roof over their kids' heads. I doubt anyone who is struggling to afford quality childcare is doing so in order to afford designer clothes and luxury vacations.

Geeze -- really, you want to pick on working class moms and tell them what a terrible job they are doing providing for their children? Should they choose to be SAHMs living on welfare instead? I seriously think some posters on here are convinced that any woman who is not a SAHM married to a high earning husband is a failure as a mother. You people will never be happy until you have convinced all other moms that they are deficient and you are superior.

So sad that you have to be this vile. Why are you hell bent on tearing other women down?

You imagine wrong and you know it. The parents I'm referring to who ruthlessly skimp on quality childcare magically find plenty of cash for fancy cars, super elite homes and exotic vacations. Seen it all.

[Anonymous]

I think this sanctimonious witch is just jealous of the Bobcat thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

Usually higher quality equates with higher price. Maybe that's what cheapskate parents are worried about. $$$

I imagine these "cheapskates" you are posting about are trying to do the best they can to put food on the table and keep a roof over their kids' heads. I doubt anyone who is struggling to afford quality childcare is doing so in order to afford designer clothes and luxury vacations.

Geeze -- really, you want to pick on working class moms and tell them what a terrible job they are doing providing for their children? Should they choose to be SAHMs living on welfare instead? I seriously think some posters on here are convinced that any woman who is not a SAHM married to a high earning husband is a failure as a mother. You people will never be happy until you have convinced all other moms that they are deficient and you are superior.

So sad that you have to be this vile. Why are you hell bent on tearing other women down?

You imagine wrong and you know it. The parents I'm referring to who ruthlessly skimp on quality childcare magically find plenty of cash for fancy cars, super elite homes and exotic vacations. Seen it all.

Why are you so concerned about other people's $$$. Get your own life to worry about. I learned a long time ago that the most judgemental people usually have the most messed up lives, that's why they stay busy in everyone else's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

Usually higher quality equates with higher price. Maybe that's what cheapskate parents are worried about. $$$

I imagine these "cheapskates" you are posting about are trying to do the best they can to put food on the table and keep a roof over their kids' heads. I doubt anyone who is struggling to afford quality childcare is doing so in order to afford designer clothes and luxury vacations.

Geeze -- really, you want to pick on working class moms and tell them what a terrible job they are doing providing for their children? Should they choose to be SAHMs living on welfare instead? I seriously think some posters on here are convinced that any woman who is not a SAHM married to a high earning husband is a failure as a mother. You people will never be happy until you have convinced all other moms that they are deficient and you are superior.

So sad that you have to be this vile. Why are you hell bent on tearing other women down?

You imagine wrong and you know it. The parents I'm referring to who ruthlessly skimp on quality childcare magically find plenty of cash for fancy cars, super elite homes and exotic vacations. Seen it all.

Well, then obviously you must roll with a different set, because none of the WOHMs I know are like that at all. So perhaps you shouldn't generalize.

[Anonymous]

I've been both: WOHM and SAHM. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a Mom who insisted in keeping her grandchildren when I did work.

Leaving my infant with a stranger does not sit well with me. When you add in a day care center where they won't receive individual care and attention...it's not happening. And having a nanny just leaves too much unaccountability for behaving well towards my child. I'd rather go on welfare and/or move in with my parents than subject my child to that.

IMO, children should be with their parents and/or loving grandparents until preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been both: WOHM and SAHM. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a Mom who insisted in keeping her grandchildren when I did work.

Leaving my infant with a stranger does not sit well with me. When you add in a day care center where they won't receive individual care and attention...it's not happening. And having a nanny just leaves too much unaccountability for behaving well towards my child. I'd rather go on welfare and/or move in with my parents than subject my child to that.

IMO, children should be with their parents and/or loving grandparents until preschool.

Do you not understand how this sounds? My mother was available to take care of my kid so that's what I did and I could go back to work guilt-free…the rest of you can go eff yourselves. My husband makes a ton of money so I could quit my job and stay home…the rest of you can go eff yourselves.

No one cares what you think, because you're a smug bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been both: WOHM and SAHM. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a Mom who insisted in keeping her grandchildren when I did work.

Leaving my infant with a stranger does not sit well with me. When you add in a day care center where they won't receive individual care and attention...it's not happening. And having a nanny just leaves too much unaccountability for behaving well towards my child. I'd rather go on welfare and/or move in with my parents than subject my child to that.

IMO, children should be with their parents and/or loving grandparents until preschool.

It depends on the family member. My MIL is retired and kept my nephew. It set him behind socially a lot because all she did was stick him front of the tv. He knew all of the story lines on general hospital and one life to live. At the time people thought it was funny, but now he is behind in elementary school.

A lot of kids go to daycare and learn to read, write, and do all kinds of things that put them ahead. My daughter was really in love with her daycare teacher. When we moved she cried over her for days.

The fact that you are okay with fleecing the government for welfare shows you have low moral character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

Usually higher quality equates with higher price. Maybe that's what cheapskate parents are worried about. $$$

I imagine these "cheapskates" you are posting about are trying to do the best they can to put food on the table and keep a roof over their kids' heads. I doubt anyone who is struggling to afford quality childcare is doing so in order to afford designer clothes and luxury vacations.

Geeze -- really, you want to pick on working class moms and tell them what a terrible job they are doing providing for their children? Should they choose to be SAHMs living on welfare instead? I seriously think some posters on here are convinced that any woman who is not a SAHM married to a high earning husband is a failure as a mother. You people will never be happy until you have convinced all other moms that they are deficient and you are superior.

So sad that you have to be this vile. Why are you hell bent on tearing other women down?

You imagine wrong and you know it. The parents I'm referring to who ruthlessly skimp on quality childcare magically find plenty of cash for fancy cars, super elite homes and exotic vacations. Seen it all.

Well, then obviously you must roll with a different set, because none of the WOHMs I know are like that at all. So perhaps you shouldn't generalize.

What generalization are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been both: WOHM and SAHM. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a Mom who insisted in keeping her grandchildren when I did work.

Leaving my infant with a stranger does not sit well with me. When you add in a day care center where they won't receive individual care and attention...it's not happening. And having a nanny just leaves too much unaccountability for behaving well towards my child. I'd rather go on welfare and/or move in with my parents than subject my child to that.

IMO, children should be with their parents and/or loving grandparents until preschool.

It depends on the family member. My MIL is retired and kept my nephew. It set him behind socially a lot because all she did was stick him front of the tv. He knew all of the story lines on general hospital and one life to live. At the time people thought it was funny, but now he is behind in elementary school.

A lot of kids go to daycare and learn to read, write, and do all kinds of things that put them ahead. My daughter was really in love with her daycare teacher. When we moved she cried over her for days.

The fact that you are okay with fleecing the government for welfare shows you have low moral character.

Like I KEEP saying, it's about the quality of care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been both: WOHM and SAHM. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a Mom who insisted in keeping her grandchildren when I did work.

Leaving my infant with a stranger does not sit well with me. When you add in a day care center where they won't receive individual care and attention...it's not happening. And having a nanny just leaves too much unaccountability for behaving well towards my child. I'd rather go on welfare and/or move in with my parents than subject my child to that.

IMO, children should be with their parents and/or loving grandparents until preschool.

Do you not understand how this sounds? My mother was available to take care of my kid so that's what I did and I could go back to work guilt-free…the rest of you can go eff yourselves. My husband makes a ton of money so I could quit my job and stay home…the rest of you can go eff yourselves.

No one cares what you think, because you're a smug bitch.

You missed where I said I've also SAH...on my DH'S then $60k salary . It can be done but folks don't want to make the true sacrifices to make it happen. It's unfortunate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been both: WOHM and SAHM. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a Mom who insisted in keeping her grandchildren when I did work.

Leaving my infant with a stranger does not sit well with me. When you add in a day care center where they won't receive individual care and attention...it's not happening. And having a nanny just leaves too much unaccountability for behaving well towards my child. I'd rather go on welfare and/or move in with my parents than subject my child to that.

IMO, children should be with their parents and/or loving grandparents until preschool.

Good lord, you're a moron.

[Anonymous]

Methinks some of the posters here need to READ THE TITLE OF THE THREAD AND THE ARTICLE CITED.

Idiots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been both: WOHM and SAHM. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a Mom who insisted in keeping her grandchildren when I did work.

Leaving my infant with a stranger does not sit well with me. When you add in a day care center where they won't receive individual care and attention...it's not happening. And having a nanny just leaves too much unaccountability for behaving well towards my child. I'd rather go on welfare and/or move in with my parents than subject my child to that.

IMO, children should be with their parents and/or loving grandparents until preschool.

It depends on the family member. My MIL is retired and kept my nephew. It set him behind socially a lot because all she did was stick him front of the tv. He knew all of the story lines on general hospital and one life to live. At the time people thought it was funny, but now he is behind in elementary school.

A lot of kids go to daycare and learn to read, write, and do all kinds of things that put them ahead. My daughter was really in love with her daycare teacher. When we moved she cried over her for days.

The fact that you are okay with fleecing the government for welfare shows you have low moral character.

I would say that might be more reflective of your child.

My Mom did no activities with my kids, they watched plenty of TV and they were never behind in school. But...my emphasis was on INFANT care, not preschool.

And if the choice is between putting my young infant in a center for 8+ hours a day and welfare, I'd absolutely choose welfare.