Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so many children are being cared for by non-English speaking caregivers, then why isn't there a crisis in the DC area of American-born children entering kindergarten with broken English skills?

I don't think all those ESOL classes are full of daycare kids.

Wow, it's amazing how far some people will go in claiming daycare is awful in order to justify their own choice in how to raise their children. If you are so pleased as punch with yourselves for being SAHM then just be happy with that. Why are you trying so very hard to prove your way is better?

Plenty of SAHMs are well adjusted, educated, and secure in their life choices. But wow ... some literally have nothing going for them so their entire identity is wrapped up in SAH. My guess is that these are the SAHMs who cannot find a job that will cover the cost of quality childcare or who have absentee spouses so they are default single parents. I feel sorry for your children that your entire self esteem is wrapped up in being a "better" parent than everyone else. The same goes for working moms who get their self esteem from their career and tell SAHMs they are worthless.

To all you normal moms, this post isn't about you. Most of us also have identities (hobbies, possibly careers, volunteer activities, loving marriages, etc.) and don't need to resort to shaming other moms to feel good about ourselves. I wish we could start our own forum and kick out the zealots.

Hello. There IS a crisis. It's politely called "special needs." Speech therapy galore.

Funny how I know SAHMs whose kids have speech and language issues. What can they blame it on if these problems are allegedly caused by childcare? Also, the child mind is much more adept at picking up differences and adapting to hearing multiple languages. I have never seen a single study claim children being exposed to multiple languages are somehow harmed. In fact the opposite is quite true.

I don't care WHO is supposed to be doing the care, but POOR quality care usually has POOR quality results.
Agree?

At least one person here seems to have missed my above comment.
And no, I'm not done here.

Plus, I don't think all the "special needs" children in speech therapy suddenly inherited their parents bad genes. Either too much TV or poor quality care during the first three foundational years of life. Or both. So sad.

Wait. You're blaming SN parents for causing their children's special needs by letting them watch too much TV or leaving them in a bad daycare?

You are too much of a jerk to be an actual human being. The SN parents I know work harder than anyone else I've ever met -- 24/7.

You're despicable. Please go somewhere and try and find a soul.

Calm down, lady. Let's focus on taking some appropriate responsibility rather than "blaming" anyone.

Here's the question:
Do you believe children with broken-English (at best) primary caregivers, are likely to have a solid command of language by age three?

You are fucking crazy. Seriously. I debated with you a few days ago then let the thread - come back and you're at it with others. What is your end game here?

Nope, sorry - different person you're now "debating". Might want to stop assuming only one person holds any given opinion.

Mhm.

Cute response!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so many children are being cared for by non-English speaking caregivers, then why isn't there a crisis in the DC area of American-born children entering kindergarten with broken English skills?

I don't think all those ESOL classes are full of daycare kids.

Wow, it's amazing how far some people will go in claiming daycare is awful in order to justify their own choice in how to raise their children. If you are so pleased as punch with yourselves for being SAHM then just be happy with that. Why are you trying so very hard to prove your way is better?

Plenty of SAHMs are well adjusted, educated, and secure in their life choices. But wow ... some literally have nothing going for them so their entire identity is wrapped up in SAH. My guess is that these are the SAHMs who cannot find a job that will cover the cost of quality childcare or who have absentee spouses so they are default single parents. I feel sorry for your children that your entire self esteem is wrapped up in being a "better" parent than everyone else. The same goes for working moms who get their self esteem from their career and tell SAHMs they are worthless.

To all you normal moms, this post isn't about you. Most of us also have identities (hobbies, possibly careers, volunteer activities, loving marriages, etc.) and don't need to resort to shaming other moms to feel good about ourselves. I wish we could start our own forum and kick out the zealots.

Hello. There IS a crisis. It's politely called "special needs." Speech therapy galore.

Funny how I know SAHMs whose kids have speech and language issues. What can they blame it on if these problems are allegedly caused by childcare? Also, the child mind is much more adept at picking up differences and adapting to hearing multiple languages. I have never seen a single study claim children being exposed to multiple languages are somehow harmed. In fact the opposite is quite true.

I don't care WHO is supposed to be doing the care, but POOR quality care usually has POOR quality results.
Agree?

At least one person here seems to have missed my above comment.
And no, I'm not done here.

Plus, I don't think all the "special needs" children in speech therapy suddenly inherited their parents bad genes. Either too much TV or poor quality care during the first three foundational years of life. Or both. So sad.

Wait. You're blaming SN parents for causing their children's special needs by letting them watch too much TV or leaving them in a bad daycare?

You are too much of a jerk to be an actual human being. The SN parents I know work harder than anyone else I've ever met -- 24/7.

You're despicable. Please go somewhere and try and find a soul.

Calm down, lady. Let's focus on taking some appropriate responsibility rather than "blaming" anyone.

Here's the question:
Do you believe children with broken-English (at best) primary caregivers, are likely to have a solid command of language by age three?

You are fucking crazy. Seriously. I debated with you a few days ago then let the thread - come back and you're at it with others. What is your end game here?

Nope, sorry - different person you're now "debating". Might want to stop assuming only one person holds any given opinion.

Oh good grief- if you're so worried about being mistaken for someone else, sign up for a bloody username!! Seriously, it is not that hard. Otherwise accept that similar posts may be attributed to the same person.

Especially when that person is now saying that kids are speech delayed because of ESOL caregivers. And these are the women who claim they're such a great influence on their snowflakes! I just ... I can't.

I am one of the previous posters who said that having a non-English speaking person care for my baby/toddler/young child would not be optimum, especially as we're trying to establish English first and foremost. I also pointed out that most childcare providers do not speak English as their first language. I am not, however, the poster who says speech delayed kids are due to having ESOL caregivers.

I believe there are several other posters with similar, yet varying points of view on this topic. Got it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can find someone else to do a decent job, fine. Chase your passions. But to leave a baby with the typically overburdened worker (with zero connection to you or your kid) isn't something I can see as being a good thing.

That's right! Only people who married someone who makes enough to support an entire household should have kids! The rest of you are doing a bad thing to your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so many children are being cared for by non-English speaking caregivers, then why isn't there a crisis in the DC area of American-born children entering kindergarten with broken English skills?

I don't think all those ESOL classes are full of daycare kids.

Wow, it's amazing how far some people will go in claiming daycare is awful in order to justify their own choice in how to raise their children. If you are so pleased as punch with yourselves for being SAHM then just be happy with that. Why are you trying so very hard to prove your way is better?

Plenty of SAHMs are well adjusted, educated, and secure in their life choices. But wow ... some literally have nothing going for them so their entire identity is wrapped up in SAH. My guess is that these are the SAHMs who cannot find a job that will cover the cost of quality childcare or who have absentee spouses so they are default single parents. I feel sorry for your children that your entire self esteem is wrapped up in being a "better" parent than everyone else. The same goes for working moms who get their self esteem from their career and tell SAHMs they are worthless.

To all you normal moms, this post isn't about you. Most of us also have identities (hobbies, possibly careers, volunteer activities, loving marriages, etc.) and don't need to resort to shaming other moms to feel good about ourselves. I wish we could start our own forum and kick out the zealots.

Hello. There IS a crisis. It's politely called "special needs." Speech therapy galore.

Funny how I know SAHMs whose kids have speech and language issues. What can they blame it on if these problems are allegedly caused by childcare? Also, the child mind is much more adept at picking up differences and adapting to hearing multiple languages. I have never seen a single study claim children being exposed to multiple languages are somehow harmed. In fact the opposite is quite true.

I don't care WHO is supposed to be doing the care, but POOR quality care usually has POOR quality results.
Agree?

At least one person here seems to have missed my above comment.
And no, I'm not done here.

Plus, I don't think all the "special needs" children in speech therapy suddenly inherited their parents bad genes. Either too much TV or poor quality care during the first three foundational years of life. Or both. So sad.

Wait. You're blaming SN parents for causing their children's special needs by letting them watch too much TV or leaving them in a bad daycare?

You are too much of a jerk to be an actual human being. The SN parents I know work harder than anyone else I've ever met -- 24/7.

You're despicable. Please go somewhere and try and find a soul.

Calm down, lady. Let's focus on taking some appropriate responsibility rather than "blaming" anyone.

Here's the question:
Do you believe children with broken-English (at best) primary caregivers, are likely to have a solid command of language by age three?

You are fucking crazy. Seriously. I debated with you a few days ago then let the thread - come back and you're at it with others. What is your end game here?

Nope, sorry - different person you're now "debating". Might want to stop assuming only one person holds any given opinion.

Oh good grief- if you're so worried about being mistaken for someone else, sign up for a bloody username!! Seriously, it is not that hard. Otherwise accept that similar posts may be attributed to the same person.

Especially when that person is now saying that kids are speech delayed because of ESOL caregivers. And these are the women who claim they're such a great influence on their snowflakes! I just ... I can't.

I am one of the previous posters who said that having a non-English speaking person care for my baby/toddler/young child would not be optimum, especially as we're trying to establish English first and foremost. I also pointed out that most childcare providers do not speak English as their first language. I am not, however, the poster who says speech delayed kids are due to having ESOL caregivers.

I believe there are several other posters with similar, yet varying points of view on this topic. Got it?

Yup - you're a FTM SAHM. Cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can find someone else to do a decent job, fine. Chase your passions. But to leave a baby with the typically overburdened worker (with zero connection to you or your kid) isn't something I can see as being a good thing.

That's right! Only people who married someone who makes enough to support an entire household should have kids! The rest of you are doing a bad thing to your children.

Hope you have a good therapist to help work through your anger issues.

[Anonymous]

I live in Maryland and we've never had a non-English speaker care for our child. Maybe it's different in DC and Nova, but all of our daycare workers have been black women. My daughters first school also had a dominican lady who was basically black but she spoke english very well. When I looked at some other daycares I saw white or black women mostly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can find someone else to do a decent job, fine. Chase your passions. But to leave a baby with the typically overburdened worker (with zero connection to you or your kid) isn't something I can see as being a good thing.

That's right! Only people who married someone who makes enough to support an entire household should have kids! The rest of you are doing a bad thing to your children.

Hope you have a good therapist to help work through your anger issues.

I'm not angry, I was taking PP's point (that putting babies in child care is generally not a good idea) to its logical conclusion.

[Anonymous]

I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

Same. We are AA and our wonderful nanny was young, American, happened to be white, and had a bachelor's from a well-known university in the Midwest, where she majored in early childhood education. I believe her husband had a well-paying job, and she just preferred to nanny instead of teach because she enjoyed it. She had excellent references and was truly wonderful with our child. I had no qualms about leaving my daughter with her when I went back to work at nine weeks (daughter was home with nanny 3 to 4 days a week and husband 1 to 2 days a week). We'd probably still have her if we hadn't left the area. We still keep in touch with her and give her updates periodically.

[Anonymous]

Maybe white moms feel like their marriage would be threatened by hiring a 20-something college educated nanny and therefore they pick older Latina or black nannies? Idk?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

Usually higher quality equates with higher price. Maybe that's what cheapskate parents are worried about. $$$

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

Usually higher quality equates with higher price. Maybe that's what cheapskate parents are worried about. $$$

I imagine these "cheapskates" you are posting about are trying to do the best they can to put food on the table and keep a roof over their kids' heads. I doubt anyone who is struggling to afford quality childcare is doing so in order to afford designer clothes and luxury vacations.

Geeze -- really, you want to pick on working class moms and tell them what a terrible job they are doing providing for their children? Should they choose to be SAHMs living on welfare instead? I seriously think some posters on here are convinced that any woman who is not a SAHM married to a high earning husband is a failure as a mother. You people will never be happy until you have convinced all other moms that they are deficient and you are superior.

So sad that you have to be this vile. Why are you hell bent on tearing other women down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority working mom and I have had 3 separate nannies for my children. All have been college educated white American girls in their 20's. They are not hard to find if you take the time to look.

Usually higher quality equates with higher price. Maybe that's what cheapskate parents are worried about. $$$

I imagine these "cheapskates" you are posting about are trying to do the best they can to put food on the table and keep a roof over their kids' heads. I doubt anyone who is struggling to afford quality childcare is doing so in order to afford designer clothes and luxury vacations.

Geeze -- really, you want to pick on working class moms and tell them what a terrible job they are doing providing for their children? Should they choose to be SAHMs living on welfare instead? I seriously think some posters on here are convinced that any woman who is not a SAHM married to a high earning husband is a failure as a mother. You people will never be happy until you have convinced all other moms that they are deficient and you are superior.

So sad that you have to be this vile. Why are you hell bent on tearing other women down?

I'm as pro-WOHM as they come but even I'm disgusted by this thread. Insulting women because they can't afford high-priced childcare (while you presumably sit on your ass spending hubby's cash?) Basically claiming that anyone who doesn't speak English as a first language is incapable of being a loving caregiver to a small child? Just truly revolting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so many children are being cared for by non-English speaking caregivers, then why isn't there a crisis in the DC area of American-born children entering kindergarten with broken English skills?

I don't think all those ESOL classes are full of daycare kids.

Wow, it's amazing how far some people will go in claiming daycare is awful in order to justify their own choice in how to raise their children. If you are so pleased as punch with yourselves for being SAHM then just be happy with that. Why are you trying so very hard to prove your way is better?

Plenty of SAHMs are well adjusted, educated, and secure in their life choices. But wow ... some literally have nothing going for them so their entire identity is wrapped up in SAH. My guess is that these are the SAHMs who cannot find a job that will cover the cost of quality childcare or who have absentee spouses so they are default single parents. I feel sorry for your children that your entire self esteem is wrapped up in being a "better" parent than everyone else. The same goes for working moms who get their self esteem from their career and tell SAHMs they are worthless.

To all you normal moms, this post isn't about you. Most of us also have identities (hobbies, possibly careers, volunteer activities, loving marriages, etc.) and don't need to resort to shaming other moms to feel good about ourselves. I wish we could start our own forum and kick out the zealots.

Hello. There IS a crisis. It's politely called "special needs." Speech therapy galore.

Funny how I know SAHMs whose kids have speech and language issues. What can they blame it on if these problems are allegedly caused by childcare? Also, the child mind is much more adept at picking up differences and adapting to hearing multiple languages. I have never seen a single study claim children being exposed to multiple languages are somehow harmed. In fact the opposite is quite true.

I don't care WHO is supposed to be doing the care, but POOR quality care usually has POOR quality results.
Agree?

At least one person here seems to have missed my above comment.
And no, I'm not done here.

Plus, I don't think all the "special needs" children in speech therapy suddenly inherited their parents bad genes. Either too much TV or poor quality care during the first three foundational years of life. Or both. So sad.

Wait. You're blaming SN parents for causing their children's special needs by letting them watch too much TV or leaving them in a bad daycare?

You are too much of a jerk to be an actual human being. The SN parents I know work harder than anyone else I've ever met -- 24/7.

You're despicable. Please go somewhere and try and find a soul.

Calm down, lady. Let's focus on taking some appropriate responsibility rather than "blaming" anyone.

Here's the question:
Do you believe children with broken-English (at best) primary caregivers, are likely to have a solid command of language by age three?

You are fucking crazy. Seriously. I debated with you a few days ago then let the thread - come back and you're at it with others. What is your end game here?

Nope, sorry - different person you're now "debating". Might want to stop assuming only one person holds any given opinion.

Oh good grief- if you're so worried about being mistaken for someone else, sign up for a bloody username!! Seriously, it is not that hard. Otherwise accept that similar posts may be attributed to the same person.

Especially when that person is now saying that kids are speech delayed because of ESOL caregivers. And these are the women who claim they're such a great influence on their snowflakes! I just ... I can't.

I am one of the previous posters who said that having a non-English speaking person care for my baby/toddler/young child would not be optimum, especially as we're trying to establish English first and foremost. I also pointed out that most childcare providers do not speak English as their first language. I am not, however, the poster who says speech delayed kids are due to having ESOL caregivers.

I believe there are several other posters with similar, yet varying points of view on this topic. Got it?

Yup - you're a FTM SAHM. Cute.

Actually, no - but you keep on going with the assumptions. It only makes you look more foolish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in Maryland and we've never had a non-English speaker care for our child. Maybe it's different in DC and Nova, but all of our daycare workers have been black women. My daughters first school also had a dominican lady who was basically black but she spoke english very well. When I looked at some other daycares I saw white or black women mostly.

I don't think anyone's referring to race here. Simply speaking English clearly and fluently.