Making time for kids? Study says quality trumps quantity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

Maybe the question you should focus on is:

If I don't work
WHO will provide food and shelter, health insurance and stability for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whatever cardboard box I can find and hope no one needs a doctor."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being with your children for 18 years is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.

Other things people might sincerely believe:

Being a movie star is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a marathon runner is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a ballroom dancer is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a dog trainer is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a teacher is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a sailor is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a poet is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.

Oh wait, what's that? People have different opinions about what might make them happy, whether or not they have kids? Hmmm…..

[Anonymous]

can we just stop this misogynistic bullshit?
you stay at home.
you go to work.
you get a doctorate.
you learn to cook french food.
you teach your children to build gardens and bee keep.
whatever.
If you are reading this, chances are you will be fine, your kids will be and so will your neighbors who make different choices or must do things a different way.

Stepping off soapbox now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

Maybe the question you should focus on is:

If I don't work
WHO will provide food and shelter, health insurance and stability for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whatever cardboard box I can find and hope no one needs a doctor."

Single parenting is a whole different thing. It takes a village.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

LOL what? You mean the homeless man on the corner isn't the best provider?

You've really lost it, crazy poet lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

LOL what? You mean the homeless man on the corner isn't the best provider?

You've really lost it, crazy poet lady.

Maybe your baby lost a mama, career lady. No one gets everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

LOL what? You mean the homeless man on the corner isn't the best provider?

You've really lost it, crazy poet lady.

Maybe your baby lost a mama, career lady. No one gets everything.

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

Maybe the question you should focus on is:

If I don't work
WHO will provide food and shelter, health insurance and stability for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whatever cardboard box I can find and hope no one needs a doctor."

Single parenting is a whole different thing. It takes a village.

But that distinction shouldn't matter for purposes of this thread. The original article was about whether your kids will turn out better if you stay home or work. It's not about whether working is an economic necessity or not. So all the hostile comments aimed at WOHMs still count if the mom is single. It's disingenuous for the stay at home harpies who like to tell us our kids will be messed up to say, "Oh it's different if you're single or if you have to work." No, it's not. The point is whether or not your kids will be messed up by day care, regardless of the reason they are there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

Maybe the question you should focus on is:

If I don't work
WHO will provide food and shelter, health insurance and stability for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whatever cardboard box I can find and hope no one needs a doctor."

Single parenting is a whole different thing. It takes a village.

But that distinction shouldn't matter for purposes of this thread. The original article was about whether your kids will turn out better if you stay home or work. It's not about whether working is an economic necessity or not. So all the hostile comments aimed at WOHMs still count if the mom is single. It's disingenuous for the stay at home harpies who like to tell us our kids will be messed up to say, "Oh it's different if you're single or if you have to work." No, it's not. The point is whether or not your kids will be messed up by day care, regardless of the reason they are there.

Your kid doesn't need to be a genius to figure out:

1. I got a parade of sitters because there was no other option

OR

2. A got what I got because mommy and daddy had more interesting things to do at the office

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

Maybe the question you should focus on is:

If I don't work
WHO will provide food and shelter, health insurance and stability for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whatever cardboard box I can find and hope no one needs a doctor."

Single parenting is a whole different thing. It takes a village.

But that distinction shouldn't matter for purposes of this thread. The original article was about whether your kids will turn out better if you stay home or work. It's not about whether working is an economic necessity or not. So all the hostile comments aimed at WOHMs still count if the mom is single. It's disingenuous for the stay at home harpies who like to tell us our kids will be messed up to say, "Oh it's different if you're single or if you have to work." No, it's not. The point is whether or not your kids will be messed up by day care, regardless of the reason they are there.

Your kid doesn't need to be a genius to figure out:

1. I got a parade of sitters because there was no other option

OR

2. A got what I got because mommy and daddy had more interesting things to do at the office

Or:

My kids are pretty smart, and they have figured out that:

Both mom and dad love us
Both mom and dad take good care of us
Both mom and dad make sure that we have good food to eat, a great education, a warm and inviting home, and lots of opportunities
Both mom and dad help to make the world a better place for a lot of people
Both moms and dads can have successful careers
Both moms and dads contribute equally to taking care of us

I think a lot of SAHMs aren't willing to concede that they and their kids don't believe that their dads care about as much about them as their moms, because you know their dads are choosing to go to work rather than spend time with the family. And he has to work extra hard since mom doesn't have a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question you all should focus on is:

If my career is my priority,
WHO will care for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whoever shows up."

Maybe the question you should focus on is:

If I don't work
WHO will provide food and shelter, health insurance and stability for the child?

Not, "I'll settle for whatever cardboard box I can find and hope no one needs a doctor."

Single parenting is a whole different thing. It takes a village.

But that distinction shouldn't matter for purposes of this thread. The original article was about whether your kids will turn out better if you stay home or work. It's not about whether working is an economic necessity or not. So all the hostile comments aimed at WOHMs still count if the mom is single. It's disingenuous for the stay at home harpies who like to tell us our kids will be messed up to say, "Oh it's different if you're single or if you have to work." No, it's not. The point is whether or not your kids will be messed up by day care, regardless of the reason they are there.

Your kid doesn't need to be a genius to figure out:

1. I got a parade of sitters because there was no other option

OR

2. A got what I got because mommy and daddy had more interesting things to do at the office

I like how you phrase this as if it's the inevitable consequence of having a working parent.

[Anonymous]

My kid will also be smart enough to appreciate that she won't have to fund our retirement.

[Anonymous]

^^^ or pay for her college education

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being with your children for 18 years is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.

Other things people might sincerely believe:

Being a movie star is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a marathon runner is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a ballroom dancer is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a dog trainer is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a teacher is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a sailor is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.
Being a poet is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.

Oh wait, what's that? People have different opinions about what might make them happy, whether or not they have kids? Hmmm…..

Good grief, how long did it take you to write that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being with your children for 18 years is the best time of your life. Try to figure out how to make it happen. You will never regret it.

You mean staying at home without a job for 18 years??? Helllll no. That sounds like a horrible idea. I can just imagine your kids will probably jump for joy when they leave the house. I will bet any sons you have are real momma's boys and their wives will probably be on here in future complaining about how their spouse can't cook, clean, or do anything for themself or how they have a meddling MIL with no life of her own.