How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I was trying not to respond to this as I’m honestly hoping to let this thread die already. This will be my last post—but I did want to clarify—many people say I believe legacy had nothing to do with his admission—I never said that, I always said I’m sure it helped and I know it’s a factor. I’ve also updated a couple of times that I told ds he can acknowledge that he’s lucky/grateful, and he understood — we aren’t digging in and freaking out that legacy wasn’t a factor. I’ve always identified myself as the op, I’m not anonymously stirring the pot.

Some posters have said that they think I’m lying about donations to the university—it’s really been like $50/year when the alumni fund calls our house directly— we are still paying off education loans ourselves. We are not big donors and never have been. But if $50/year is more meaningful to the university than I thought, so be it.

It’s not an Ivy, but it is top 25. My spouse and I were both scholarship kids who took out a ton of loans back when students could take out a lot of loans. We had immigrant and blue collar parents. We were the lucky ones who were able to get in despite the odds, though of course it didn’t feel quite as hard back then. Our kids have much more privilege than we did, and they are still hard working and down to earth despite that. Anyway, I’m done—take what you will from what I said. I hate how fired up everyone gets over all of this. No wonder these kids are so stressed out.

Cheers to you and your family, OP!

This whole process includes a massive element of randomness.

That’s disconcerting at best, and at times, downright upsetting and maddening. Especially for kids and families who are used to predictability - work hard, do well, hit the goal etc.

None of that excuses the crap behavior on this thread. But I think it’s an underlying factor.

My advice: Tell your DC that the process is crazy (as they know) and sometimes brings out the worst in people.

If a kid says something rude, they can just shrug and let it go. Thankfully, this will be short-lived. Once kids start hearing from RD schools, it’ll all settle down.

- T20 Legacy (my kid with “perfect stats” got deferred, while some other college friends’ kids got outright denied.)

[Anonymous]

Maybe be less racist and realize this is what happens to black people.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well, the legacies I know who were rejected were more than qualified. One example: friends who are double legacy at Harvard, all three kids are at Yale instead because they didn't get into Harvard. All the legacies I know rejected from their parents school ended up at an equally elite school - so yes, those kids were qualified for the legacy school. I just don't think it's as easy as as "oh, she got in because of legacy, or she didn't get in because they didn't donate."

Legacy doesn't mean a guaranteed admit. Legacy does mean that the applicant is hooked, which is another way of saying the applicant is considered more favorably than those who lack a hook. Once you have the general stats for admission, would you rather be considered in the massive pile of applications where it is essentially a lottery OR would you rather be considered with a smaller pile of ones that are getting more time, a second look, more reasons for someone to champion your acceptance, etc?

The smaller pile, of course. I guess my point is that even in that smaller pile, it's competitive and not an easy admit. Lots of qualified legacies who are rejected and later end up at other HYPS.

Yes, enjoy arguing with yourself as no one is saying it’s easy to get into an elite university. They’re just saying it’s easier to get into an elite university as a legacy, which is not the same thing as it being easy

+1 Why is this confusing? I do not doubt that legacies who get in are generally worthy admits. I also don’t blame anyone for taking advantage of an opportunity available to them.

Just acknowledge it.

Why does anyone need to acknowledge it? Is this required for everyone? “I got in but I had a tutor for math in 9th grade, a private coach for track and my parents could afford to pay for a summer program so that’s why got accepted.” Everyone’s got some advantage over someone else - some are just better than others.

Why wouldn’t you acknowledge it when talking to people who didn’t get in? I’m honestly gobsmacked by this attitude. This would be the first thing I would say, but I really hate lording it over people.

Why do I have total confidence that you apply this only to legacies and not to of the advantages your kids have?

I don’t know? You can’t imagine what it’s like to be someone with humility and concern for other people?

And that’s the only way to show it? You don’t seem to have much concern for the kid by defending the rude ones.

Let me guess you expected minorities to say “yes I only got in because I’m a minority”

No.

Why not? Because it’s rude?

Underrepresented minorities deserve any leg up they get in admissions, and it is still not a level playing field. It is far easier to be a white applicant when you account for a lifetime of advantages.

But you knew that.

But whether it’s “deserved” or not has no bearing on the truth and whether it impacted your admission at the time. So to be consistent if someone came up to them and said something your preferred response would have been to acknowledge it.

And you know that.

These aren’t the same. Legacies start out ahead and then get an extra boost. URMs and FGLI start out behind.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kid is at my alma mater and while I know that being a legacy helped because the school does consider it, they were still a competitive applicant on their own with stats, ECs, etc. I am not an active alum and never donated any money either.
I’m assuming it tipped the scales in a small way, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had been rejected either, as many other legacy applicants were. I’m happy it worked out for them and glad I could help in that way. But for the average legacy you still need to be a very qualified applicant.

I know you really want to believe this, but this is not what the admissions statistics show. Many, many qualified applicants are not admitted. Legacy is one of the biggest boosts available in the admissions process.

Not anymore, some many high stat legacies deferred and then rejected over the past few cycles.

+1

It’s 2025. If you haven’t been paying attention, a lot has changed in college admissions over the last few years. “Legacy” isn’t nearly as powerful as some portray.

Do you have actual data to support this position?

We don’t have any data in recent years one way or another because most schools haven’t shared data.

But we do know that many schools have eliminated legacy, lowered ED #s, etc to try to level the playing field, even if just a small amount.

Legacy preference is still a boost at some schools that still offer it but overall it’s not the boost that it was even 5 years ago.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kid is at my alma mater and while I know that being a legacy helped because the school does consider it, they were still a competitive applicant on their own with stats, ECs, etc. I am not an active alum and never donated any money either.
I’m assuming it tipped the scales in a small way, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had been rejected either, as many other legacy applicants were. I’m happy it worked out for them and glad I could help in that way. But for the average legacy you still need to be a very qualified applicant.

I know you really want to believe this, but this is not what the admissions statistics show. Many, many qualified applicants are not admitted. Legacy is one of the biggest boosts available in the admissions process.

Not anymore, some many high stat legacies deferred and then rejected over the past few cycles.

+1

It’s 2025. If you haven’t been paying attention, a lot has changed in college admissions over the last few years. “Legacy” isn’t nearly as powerful as some portray.

Do you have actual data to support this position?

+1 the existing research studies show otherwise.

What research in the last 3 years?

[Anonymous]

We don’t even know if the other kids were being rude, because the context of the conversation was never provided.

If OP’s kid was bragging about getting in and the other kids said “oh, but your parents went there,” that’s not rude. It’s putting a cocky person in their place and saying the honest part out loud.

If the kids were sitting around talking about why they think they got accepted or rejected, and someone said “oh, but your parents (also) went there,” that’s a contextualized statement, not a rude one.

This last one isn’t just a hypothetical. Private school counselors regularly counsel unhooked students away from ED at colleges where other students have hooks, because they know the college is likely to limit how many applicants it takes from a school and the hooked kids have an upper hand.

If the kids said, “hey did you get in” and OP’s kid said, “yeah,” and the kids responded, “oh, but your parents went there.” Then, yeah, that’s rude. But I kind of doubt that’s the whole story.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It’s unfair and everyone knows it.
If it hadn’t benefited your kid you would think so too. Legacy should end. But then again sadly there are so many other ways the system is rigged and not meritocratic no one should take it admission as such a big point of pride. I say this as a first gen Ivy grad.

Your kid should just say “yeah I had a bit of extra luck. “ and then just move on.

While that’s true, the kid was a dick.

The more appropriate response would be for him to roll his eyes. Or if the kid is routinely a dick say “suck it, loser”.

That shows that OP and her child are POS people lacking class. They are benefiting from a rigged system. If they decided to use the legacy quota then they should accept that. The other kid was brave for pointing it out.

LOL, no.

The kid was being a dick.

[Anonymous]

If anything this thread shows, people resent others who have more and want you to apologize for it and/or give it up.

Don’t.

Be respectful of and gracious to people you respect or deserve respect and lean in on your own success and benefits.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It’s unfair and everyone knows it.
If it hadn’t benefited your kid you would think so too. Legacy should end. But then again sadly there are so many other ways the system is rigged and not meritocratic no one should take it admission as such a big point of pride. I say this as a first gen Ivy grad.

Your kid should just say “yeah I had a bit of extra luck. “ and then just move on.

While that’s true, the kid was a dick.

The more appropriate response would be for him to roll his eyes. Or if the kid is routinely a dick say “suck it, loser”.

That shows that OP and her child are POS people lacking class. They are benefiting from a rigged system. If they decided to use the legacy quota then they should accept that. The other kid was brave for pointing it out.

Your shoulders must be in constant agony from the huge chips on them. Good Lord. Get over it. Living your life being envious of others is not healthy. Get therapy.

This thread is scary. So many people with no class and nothing better to do than be jealous of others.

I like the fat example above. You can think someone is fat, but you shouldn't say it. Similarly, you can think someone benefitted from the system but unless they were being truly obnoxious and rubbing it in your face (which I doubt this kid was), you keep it to yourself.

If I saw all of you idiots on the street I wouldn't walk up to you and call you stupid even though you clearly are.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well, the legacies I know who were rejected were more than qualified. One example: friends who are double legacy at Harvard, all three kids are at Yale instead because they didn't get into Harvard. All the legacies I know rejected from their parents school ended up at an equally elite school - so yes, those kids were qualified for the legacy school. I just don't think it's as easy as as "oh, she got in because of legacy, or she didn't get in because they didn't donate."

Legacy doesn't mean a guaranteed admit. Legacy does mean that the applicant is hooked, which is another way of saying the applicant is considered more favorably than those who lack a hook. Once you have the general stats for admission, would you rather be considered in the massive pile of applications where it is essentially a lottery OR would you rather be considered with a smaller pile of ones that are getting more time, a second look, more reasons for someone to champion your acceptance, etc?

The smaller pile, of course. I guess my point is that even in that smaller pile, it's competitive and not an easy admit. Lots of qualified legacies who are rejected and later end up at other HYPS.

Yes, enjoy arguing with yourself as no one is saying it’s easy to get into an elite university. They’re just saying it’s easier to get into an elite university as a legacy, which is not the same thing as it being easy

Sure legacies have an advantage in admissions - so in your mind that justifies other kids being rude about it? That’s an odd conclusion to reach

These kids were rude but in the scheme of things that kids that age can be rude about, my goodness. Are egos that fragile? Please recall that these kids are dealing with their own disappointment. Teach your children to be gracious about their victories.

The “rudeness” was pointing out that OP’s DC was a legacy meaning that they had odds in the 1 out of 3 or 4 range while the rejected kids faced 1 out of 100 odds. . .

You need to take an intro stats class. And also an etiquette class. Because bringing something like this up is rude. Full stop.

The fact that so many people are OK with the fact that the rejected kids mentioned it is horrifying. They might be right - one can make a very good argument for that. But to mention it is really low class. I don't see why this is even debatable.

Not PP obviously but most of us have acknowledged the rudeness. Some posters feel that because the kids were rude, nothing else matters. I do not agree — but that’s not the same thing as defending the rudeness itself.

From OP’s description the rudeness was stating a fact, one for my own kid I would hope they wouldn’t vocalize, but the truth nonetheless and I am willing to give grace to both OP’s kid and the rejected one who no doubt said it out of disappointment. Further, if OP’s kid can’t handle it they aren’t well prepared to attend the college they just got into as their legacy status will be known and commented on there as well

Clearly you haven't gone to a competitive school. People have better things to talk about than legacy status. Once you are there you have bigger things to worry about than how people got in. The only reason it might come up is if someone is truly well below everyone else academically, to the point of being an outlier. Then people might say "how did they get in here?" But if someone is just minding their own business and not consistently making dumb comments, no one will care.

I went to HYPSM. I knew several legacies. Most were quite smart. They couple that were not were from very wealthy families with a long long line of legacies. Like generations at this school. I still didn't say anything about how they got in there because that would be very rude. I thought it, but kept that thought to myself. Which is exactly what the classmate here should have done.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well, the legacies I know who were rejected were more than qualified. One example: friends who are double legacy at Harvard, all three kids are at Yale instead because they didn't get into Harvard. All the legacies I know rejected from their parents school ended up at an equally elite school - so yes, those kids were qualified for the legacy school. I just don't think it's as easy as as "oh, she got in because of legacy, or she didn't get in because they didn't donate."

Legacy doesn't mean a guaranteed admit. Legacy does mean that the applicant is hooked, which is another way of saying the applicant is considered more favorably than those who lack a hook. Once you have the general stats for admission, would you rather be considered in the massive pile of applications where it is essentially a lottery OR would you rather be considered with a smaller pile of ones that are getting more time, a second look, more reasons for someone to champion your acceptance, etc?

The smaller pile, of course. I guess my point is that even in that smaller pile, it's competitive and not an easy admit. Lots of qualified legacies who are rejected and later end up at other HYPS.

Yes, enjoy arguing with yourself as no one is saying it’s easy to get into an elite university. They’re just saying it’s easier to get into an elite university as a legacy, which is not the same thing as it being easy

Sure legacies have an advantage in admissions - so in your mind that justifies other kids being rude about it? That’s an odd conclusion to reach

These kids were rude but in the scheme of things that kids that age can be rude about, my goodness. Are egos that fragile? Please recall that these kids are dealing with their own disappointment. Teach your children to be gracious about their victories.

The “rudeness” was pointing out that OP’s DC was a legacy meaning that they had odds in the 1 out of 3 or 4 range while the rejected kids faced 1 out of 100 odds. . .

You need to take an intro stats class. And also an etiquette class. Because bringing something like this up is rude. Full stop.

The fact that so many people are OK with the fact that the rejected kids mentioned it is horrifying. They might be right - one can make a very good argument for that. But to mention it is really low class. I don't see why this is even debatable.

Not PP obviously but most of us have acknowledged the rudeness. Some posters feel that because the kids were rude, nothing else matters. I do not agree — but that’s not the same thing as defending the rudeness itself.

From OP’s description the rudeness was stating a fact, one for my own kid I would hope they wouldn’t vocalize, but the truth nonetheless and I am willing to give grace to both OP’s kid and the rejected one who no doubt said it out of disappointment. Further, if OP’s kid can’t handle it they aren’t well prepared to attend the college they just got into as their legacy status will be known and commented on there as well

Clearly you haven't gone to a competitive school. People have better things to talk about than legacy status. Once you are there you have bigger things to worry about than how people got in. The only reason it might come up is if someone is truly well below everyone else academically, to the point of being an outlier. Then people might say "how did they get in here?" But if someone is just minding their own business and not consistently making dumb comments, no one will care.

I went to HYPSM. I knew several legacies. Most were quite smart. They couple that were not were from very wealthy families with a long long line of legacies. Like generations at this school. I still didn't say anything about how they got in there because that would be very rude. I thought it, but kept that thought to myself. Which is exactly what the classmate here should have done.

I am the person you are responding to. And I agree 100%. I wouldn't say it to the person's face. I am just saying that is the only reason you would even think about it. I went to an Ivy+ and had a real moron in a class. Trying to figure out what they were doing there. Then realized they were a very talented athlete and it made more sense (note that most of the other athletes at my school were extremely smart - this was a clear outlier). But I didn't say anything, as that would be uncalled for and rude. Otherwise, I was not researching people's backgrounds and bios. I had better things to do.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well, the legacies I know who were rejected were more than qualified. One example: friends who are double legacy at Harvard, all three kids are at Yale instead because they didn't get into Harvard. All the legacies I know rejected from their parents school ended up at an equally elite school - so yes, those kids were qualified for the legacy school. I just don't think it's as easy as as "oh, she got in because of legacy, or she didn't get in because they didn't donate."

Legacy doesn't mean a guaranteed admit. Legacy does mean that the applicant is hooked, which is another way of saying the applicant is considered more favorably than those who lack a hook. Once you have the general stats for admission, would you rather be considered in the massive pile of applications where it is essentially a lottery OR would you rather be considered with a smaller pile of ones that are getting more time, a second look, more reasons for someone to champion your acceptance, etc?

The smaller pile, of course. I guess my point is that even in that smaller pile, it's competitive and not an easy admit. Lots of qualified legacies who are rejected and later end up at other HYPS.

Yes, enjoy arguing with yourself as no one is saying it’s easy to get into an elite university. They’re just saying it’s easier to get into an elite university as a legacy, which is not the same thing as it being easy

Sure legacies have an advantage in admissions - so in your mind that justifies other kids being rude about it? That’s an odd conclusion to reach

These kids were rude but in the scheme of things that kids that age can be rude about, my goodness. Are egos that fragile? Please recall that these kids are dealing with their own disappointment. Teach your children to be gracious about their victories.

The “rudeness” was pointing out that OP’s DC was a legacy meaning that they had odds in the 1 out of 3 or 4 range while the rejected kids faced 1 out of 100 odds. . .

You need to take an intro stats class. And also an etiquette class. Because bringing something like this up is rude. Full stop.

The fact that so many people are OK with the fact that the rejected kids mentioned it is horrifying. They might be right - one can make a very good argument for that. But to mention it is really low class. I don't see why this is even debatable.

Not PP obviously but most of us have acknowledged the rudeness. Some posters feel that because the kids were rude, nothing else matters. I do not agree — but that’s not the same thing as defending the rudeness itself.

From OP’s description the rudeness was stating a fact, one for my own kid I would hope they wouldn’t vocalize, but the truth nonetheless and I am willing to give grace to both OP’s kid and the rejected one who no doubt said it out of disappointment. Further, if OP’s kid can’t handle it they aren’t well prepared to attend the college they just got into as their legacy status will be known and commented on there as well

Clearly you haven't gone to a competitive school. People have better things to talk about than legacy status. Once you are there you have bigger things to worry about than how people got in. The only reason it might come up is if someone is truly well below everyone else academically, to the point of being an outlier. Then people might say "how did they get in here?" But if someone is just minding their own business and not consistently making dumb comments, no one will care.

I went to HYPSM. I knew several legacies. Most were quite smart. They couple that were not were from very wealthy families with a long long line of legacies. Like generations at this school. I still didn't say anything about how they got in there because that would be very rude. I thought it, but kept that thought to myself. Which is exactly what the classmate here should have done.

Kudos for not knowing the distinction between high school seniors in application time and the totally different context of classmates once you are at college.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well, the legacies I know who were rejected were more than qualified. One example: friends who are double legacy at Harvard, all three kids are at Yale instead because they didn't get into Harvard. All the legacies I know rejected from their parents school ended up at an equally elite school - so yes, those kids were qualified for the legacy school. I just don't think it's as easy as as "oh, she got in because of legacy, or she didn't get in because they didn't donate."

Legacy doesn't mean a guaranteed admit. Legacy does mean that the applicant is hooked, which is another way of saying the applicant is considered more favorably than those who lack a hook. Once you have the general stats for admission, would you rather be considered in the massive pile of applications where it is essentially a lottery OR would you rather be considered with a smaller pile of ones that are getting more time, a second look, more reasons for someone to champion your acceptance, etc?

The smaller pile, of course. I guess my point is that even in that smaller pile, it's competitive and not an easy admit. Lots of qualified legacies who are rejected and later end up at other HYPS.

Yes, enjoy arguing with yourself as no one is saying it’s easy to get into an elite university. They’re just saying it’s easier to get into an elite university as a legacy, which is not the same thing as it being easy

Sure legacies have an advantage in admissions - so in your mind that justifies other kids being rude about it? That’s an odd conclusion to reach

These kids were rude but in the scheme of things that kids that age can be rude about, my goodness. Are egos that fragile? Please recall that these kids are dealing with their own disappointment. Teach your children to be gracious about their victories.

The “rudeness” was pointing out that OP’s DC was a legacy meaning that they had odds in the 1 out of 3 or 4 range while the rejected kids faced 1 out of 100 odds. . .

You need to take an intro stats class. And also an etiquette class. Because bringing something like this up is rude. Full stop.

The fact that so many people are OK with the fact that the rejected kids mentioned it is horrifying. They might be right - one can make a very good argument for that. But to mention it is really low class. I don't see why this is even debatable.

Not PP obviously but most of us have acknowledged the rudeness. Some posters feel that because the kids were rude, nothing else matters. I do not agree — but that’s not the same thing as defending the rudeness itself.

From OP’s description the rudeness was stating a fact, one for my own kid I would hope they wouldn’t vocalize, but the truth nonetheless and I am willing to give grace to both OP’s kid and the rejected one who no doubt said it out of disappointment. Further, if OP’s kid can’t handle it they aren’t well prepared to attend the college they just got into as their legacy status will be known and commented on there as well

Clearly you haven't gone to a competitive school. People have better things to talk about than legacy status. Once you are there you have bigger things to worry about than how people got in. The only reason it might come up is if someone is truly well below everyone else academically, to the point of being an outlier. Then people might say "how did they get in here?" But if someone is just minding their own business and not consistently making dumb comments, no one will care.

I went to HYPSM. I knew several legacies. Most were quite smart. They couple that were not were from very wealthy families with a long long line of legacies. Like generations at this school. I still didn't say anything about how they got in there because that would be very rude. I thought it, but kept that thought to myself. Which is exactly what the classmate here should have done.

Kudos for not knowing the distinction between high school seniors in application time and the totally different context of classmates once you are at college.

That comment added zero value. You are as dumb as the kids who made the low class comments about the other kid being a legacy. No wonder you didn't go to a good school. The village is calling. Its idiot is missing.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well, the legacies I know who were rejected were more than qualified. One example: friends who are double legacy at Harvard, all three kids are at Yale instead because they didn't get into Harvard. All the legacies I know rejected from their parents school ended up at an equally elite school - so yes, those kids were qualified for the legacy school. I just don't think it's as easy as as "oh, she got in because of legacy, or she didn't get in because they didn't donate."

Legacy doesn't mean a guaranteed admit. Legacy does mean that the applicant is hooked, which is another way of saying the applicant is considered more favorably than those who lack a hook. Once you have the general stats for admission, would you rather be considered in the massive pile of applications where it is essentially a lottery OR would you rather be considered with a smaller pile of ones that are getting more time, a second look, more reasons for someone to champion your acceptance, etc?

The smaller pile, of course. I guess my point is that even in that smaller pile, it's competitive and not an easy admit. Lots of qualified legacies who are rejected and later end up at other HYPS.

Yes, enjoy arguing with yourself as no one is saying it’s easy to get into an elite university. They’re just saying it’s easier to get into an elite university as a legacy, which is not the same thing as it being easy

Sure legacies have an advantage in admissions - so in your mind that justifies other kids being rude about it? That’s an odd conclusion to reach

These kids were rude but in the scheme of things that kids that age can be rude about, my goodness. Are egos that fragile? Please recall that these kids are dealing with their own disappointment. Teach your children to be gracious about their victories.

The “rudeness” was pointing out that OP’s DC was a legacy meaning that they had odds in the 1 out of 3 or 4 range while the rejected kids faced 1 out of 100 odds. . .

You need to take an intro stats class. And also an etiquette class. Because bringing something like this up is rude. Full stop.

The fact that so many people are OK with the fact that the rejected kids mentioned it is horrifying. They might be right - one can make a very good argument for that. But to mention it is really low class. I don't see why this is even debatable.

Not PP obviously but most of us have acknowledged the rudeness. Some posters feel that because the kids were rude, nothing else matters. I do not agree — but that’s not the same thing as defending the rudeness itself.

From OP’s description the rudeness was stating a fact, one for my own kid I would hope they wouldn’t vocalize, but the truth nonetheless and I am willing to give grace to both OP’s kid and the rejected one who no doubt said it out of disappointment. Further, if OP’s kid can’t handle it they aren’t well prepared to attend the college they just got into as their legacy status will be known and commented on there as well

Clearly you haven't gone to a competitive school. People have better things to talk about than legacy status. Once you are there you have bigger things to worry about than how people got in. The only reason it might come up is if someone is truly well below everyone else academically, to the point of being an outlier. Then people might say "how did they get in here?" But if someone is just minding their own business and not consistently making dumb comments, no one will care.

I went to HYPSM. I knew several legacies. Most were quite smart. They couple that were not were from very wealthy families with a long long line of legacies. Like generations at this school. I still didn't say anything about how they got in there because that would be very rude. I thought it, but kept that thought to myself. Which is exactly what the classmate here should have done.

Kudos for not knowing the distinction between high school seniors in application time and the totally different context of classmates once you are at college.

That comment added zero value. You are as dumb as the kids who made the low class comments about the other kid being a legacy. No wonder you didn't go to a good school. The village is calling. Its idiot is missing.

Glad you can point out when others are dumb or low class.

NP

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, the legacies I know who were rejected were more than qualified. One example: friends who are double legacy at Harvard, all three kids are at Yale instead because they didn't get into Harvard. All the legacies I know rejected from their parents school ended up at an equally elite school - so yes, those kids were qualified for the legacy school. I just don't think it's as easy as as "oh, she got in because of legacy, or she didn't get in because they didn't donate."

Legacy doesn't mean a guaranteed admit. Legacy does mean that the applicant is hooked, which is another way of saying the applicant is considered more favorably than those who lack a hook. Once you have the general stats for admission, would you rather be considered in the massive pile of applications where it is essentially a lottery OR would you rather be considered with a smaller pile of ones that are getting more time, a second look, more reasons for someone to champion your acceptance, etc?

The smaller pile, of course. I guess my point is that even in that smaller pile, it's competitive and not an easy admit. Lots of qualified legacies who are rejected and later end up at other HYPS.

Yes, enjoy arguing with yourself as no one is saying it’s easy to get into an elite university. They’re just saying it’s easier to get into an elite university as a legacy, which is not the same thing as it being easy

Sure legacies have an advantage in admissions - so in your mind that justifies other kids being rude about it? That’s an odd conclusion to reach

These kids were rude but in the scheme of things that kids that age can be rude about, my goodness. Are egos that fragile? Please recall that these kids are dealing with their own disappointment. Teach your children to be gracious about their victories.

The “rudeness” was pointing out that OP’s DC was a legacy meaning that they had odds in the 1 out of 3 or 4 range while the rejected kids faced 1 out of 100 odds. . .

You need to take an intro stats class. And also an etiquette class. Because bringing something like this up is rude. Full stop.

The fact that so many people are OK with the fact that the rejected kids mentioned it is horrifying. They might be right - one can make a very good argument for that. But to mention it is really low class. I don't see why this is even debatable.

Not PP obviously but most of us have acknowledged the rudeness. Some posters feel that because the kids were rude, nothing else matters. I do not agree — but that’s not the same thing as defending the rudeness itself.

From OP’s description the rudeness was stating a fact, one for my own kid I would hope they wouldn’t vocalize, but the truth nonetheless and I am willing to give grace to both OP’s kid and the rejected one who no doubt said it out of disappointment. Further, if OP’s kid can’t handle it they aren’t well prepared to attend the college they just got into as their legacy status will be known and commented on there as well

Clearly you haven't gone to a competitive school. People have better things to talk about than legacy status. Once you are there you have bigger things to worry about than how people got in. The only reason it might come up is if someone is truly well below everyone else academically, to the point of being an outlier. Then people might say "how did they get in here?" But if someone is just minding their own business and not consistently making dumb comments, no one will care.

I went to HYPSM. I knew several legacies. Most were quite smart. They couple that were not were from very wealthy families with a long long line of legacies. Like generations at this school. I still didn't say anything about how they got in there because that would be very rude. I thought it, but kept that thought to myself. Which is exactly what the classmate here should have done.

Kudos for not knowing the distinction between high school seniors in application time and the totally different context of classmates once you are at college.

That comment added zero value. You are as dumb as the kids who made the low class comments about the other kid being a legacy. No wonder you didn't go to a good school. The village is calling. Its idiot is missing.

Glad you can point out when others are dumb or low class.

NP

Many of the low class fools in this thread are saying that it is OK to say what we are thinking, even if it is rude. So I am trying that on for size. I didn't particularly like it. I will now return to being kind and respectful. Fool.