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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I was trying not to respond to this as I’m honestly hoping to let this thread die already. This will be my last post—but I did want to clarify—many people say I believe legacy had nothing to do with his admission—I never said that, I always said I’m sure it helped and I know it’s a factor. I’ve also updated a couple of times that I told ds he can acknowledge that he’s lucky/grateful, and he understood — we aren’t digging in and freaking out that legacy wasn’t a factor. I’ve always identified myself as the op, I’m not anonymously stirring the pot.

Some posters have said that they think I’m lying about donations to the university—it’s really been like $50/year when the alumni fund calls our house directly— we are still paying off education loans ourselves. We are not big donors and never have been. But if $50/year is more meaningful to the university than I thought, so be it.

It’s not an Ivy, but it is top 25. My spouse and I were both scholarship kids who took out a ton of loans back when students could take out a lot of loans. We had immigrant and blue collar parents. We were the lucky ones who were able to get in despite the odds, though of course it didn’t feel quite as hard back then. Our kids have much more privilege than we did, and they are still hard working and down to earth despite that. Anyway, I’m done—take what you will from what I said. I hate how fired up everyone gets over all of this. No wonder these kids are so stressed out. 
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Cheers to you and your family, OP!

This whole process includes a massive element of randomness.

That’s disconcerting at best, and at times, downright upsetting and maddening. Especially for kids and families who are used to predictability - work hard, do well, hit the goal etc.

None of that excuses the crap behavior on this thread. But I think it’s an underlying factor.

My advice: Tell your DC that the process is crazy (as they know) and sometimes brings out the worst in people.

If a kid says something rude, they can just shrug and let it go. Thankfully, this will be short-lived. Once kids start hearing from RD schools, it’ll all settle down.

- T20 Legacy (my kid with “perfect stats” got deferred, while some other college friends’ kids got outright denied.)
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