Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

Do you not understand that your story is your story and everyone else has their own unique circumstance?

Sounds like some internet troll insulted you on here and now you have an axe to grind and will troll people who are struggling to make yourself feel better? Weird and sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found daycare for my kids. Private homebased. My spouse and I alternate days for pickup and drop off based on schedules. Some weeks are better than others for us. It's pricy but we have banked the savings from WFH daycare savings so it's not too bad.

So, you didn't need to spend money on daycare while working from home? How did you find the time to actually "work" during the day (or after school hours) while supervising your kids? THIS is why feds are being forced to RTO because some are not actually working their full 40 hour weeks while also handling childcare duties.

No. Most feds are not caring for children as they work from home. Stop making baseless generalizations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

That's nice. As people who couldn't afford a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in DC, we moved to a smaller city a couple hours away where one of us found a job. The other also searched for a local job, but small cities have small job markets and often just don't have a ton of opportunities for every career field...so the other spouse found a federal remote job instead. Not telework, hiring "remote from anywhere in the US" without expectation to relocate.

This isn't ANY LESS reasonable than you finding a job in Reston or Tysons. It's the EXACT SAME strategy. Your job could get moved to downtown DC or Suitland or Charlotte or Boise next year, too. And then you'd also be in the position of potentially struggling to find a new job close to home (I'm applying!) while working out difficult family logistics (I'm interviewing a new sitter!). Other people aren't idiots because their life circumstances changed. It could happen to you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found daycare for my kids. Private homebased. My spouse and I alternate days for pickup and drop off based on schedules. Some weeks are better than others for us. It's pricy but we have banked the savings from WFH daycare savings so it's not too bad.

Same. We saved all the money we weren't paying for childcare. I didn't believe it would last forever, whether due to RTO or job changes over whatever.

[Anonymous]

RTO alone shouldn’t be a problem because if you have little kids, then you should always have had daycare.

RTO with no telework or flexibility and long commutes is what creates the problem. Both parents having 10-12 hour days is what makes things awful. Kids in daycare for 11-12 hours and a diet of convenience foods is a disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

That's nice. As people who couldn't afford a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in DC, we moved to a smaller city a couple hours away where one of us found a job. The other also searched for a local job, but small cities have small job markets and often just don't have a ton of opportunities for every career field...so the other spouse found a federal remote job instead. Not telework, hiring "remote from anywhere in the US" without expectation to relocate.

This isn't ANY LESS reasonable than you finding a job in Reston or Tysons. It's the EXACT SAME strategy. Your job could get moved to downtown DC or Suitland or Charlotte or Boise next year, too. And then you'd also be in the position of potentially struggling to find a new job close to home (I'm applying!) while working out difficult family logistics (I'm interviewing a new sitter!). Other people aren't idiots because their life circumstances changed. It could happen to you too.

Here's the other problem, except feds, many don't stay at jobs more than 3-8 years so financially it makes no sense to keep moving for each new job and uprooting your family. You lose a lot of money buying/selling, moving costs. Feds are not the only RTO. My spouse, who worked in his job before covid was WFH, and was called into the office 5 days a week. We don't know how stable the job is and the kids have friends, activities, their schools, etc so uprooting them to reduce an hour commute each way makes no sense. We have a small "affordable" house (as in 1000 square feet) - I'd love to move and get a bigger house but that wouldn't be fair to our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found daycare for my kids. Private homebased. My spouse and I alternate days for pickup and drop off based on schedules. Some weeks are better than others for us. It's pricy but we have banked the savings from WFH daycare savings so it's not too bad.

So, you didn't need to spend money on daycare while working from home? How did you find the time to actually "work" during the day (or after school hours) while supervising your kids? THIS is why feds are being forced to RTO because some are not actually working their full 40 hour weeks while also handling childcare duties.

No. Most feds are not caring for children as they work from home. Stop making baseless generalizations.

DP here

The PP said "some are not actually working their full 40 hour weeks while also handling childcare duties." That sounds accurate to me. It might be a small percentage, but it certainly impacts perceptions.

However, I do not think this is the real basis for RTO - clearly they are just trying to get rid of as many people as possible regardless of impacts on productivity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RTO alone shouldn’t be a problem because if you have little kids, then you should always have had daycare.

RTO with no telework or flexibility and long commutes is what creates the problem. Both parents having 10-12 hour days is what makes things awful. Kids in daycare for 11-12 hours and a diet of convenience foods is a disaster.

This. And it goes beyond daycare. Here in Fairfax County, elementary schools start so late that some parents can't even begin their commutes until 9 am. SACC is a nice option...unless the waiting list is months long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

That's nice. As people who couldn't afford a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in DC, we moved to a smaller city a couple hours away where one of us found a job. The other also searched for a local job, but small cities have small job markets and often just don't have a ton of opportunities for every career field...so the other spouse found a federal remote job instead. Not telework, hiring "remote from anywhere in the US" without expectation to relocate.

This isn't ANY LESS reasonable than you finding a job in Reston or Tysons. It's the EXACT SAME strategy. Your job could get moved to downtown DC or Suitland or Charlotte or Boise next year, too. And then you'd also be in the position of potentially struggling to find a new job close to home (I'm applying!) while working out difficult family logistics (I'm interviewing a new sitter!). Other people aren't idiots because their life circumstances changed. It could happen to you too.

Here's the other problem, except feds, many don't stay at jobs more than 3-8 years so financially it makes no sense to keep moving for each new job and uprooting your family. You lose a lot of money buying/selling, moving costs. Feds are not the only RTO. My spouse, who worked in his job before covid was WFH, and was called into the office 5 days a week. We don't know how stable the job is and the kids have friends, activities, their schools, etc so uprooting them to reduce an hour commute each way makes no sense. We have a small "affordable" house (as in 1000 square feet) - I'd love to move and get a bigger house but that wouldn't be fair to our kids.

We don't move for each new job. We limit the geographic search radius when job searching.

[Anonymous]

I read something today that sums up this whole thread IMo.

People can only see the decisions you made not the choices you had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found daycare for my kids. Private homebased. My spouse and I alternate days for pickup and drop off based on schedules. Some weeks are better than others for us. It's pricy but we have banked the savings from WFH daycare savings so it's not too bad.

So, you didn't need to spend money on daycare while working from home? How did you find the time to actually "work" during the day (or after school hours) while supervising your kids? THIS is why feds are being forced to RTO because some are not actually working their full 40 hour weeks while also handling childcare duties.

No. Most feds are not caring for children as they work from home. Stop making baseless generalizations.

Been a fully remote fed for 15 years. Paid for full time daycare when kids were young and camps etc when school age. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

That's nice. As people who couldn't afford a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in DC, we moved to a smaller city a couple hours away where one of us found a job. The other also searched for a local job, but small cities have small job markets and often just don't have a ton of opportunities for every career field...so the other spouse found a federal remote job instead. Not telework, hiring "remote from anywhere in the US" without expectation to relocate.

This isn't ANY LESS reasonable than you finding a job in Reston or Tysons. It's the EXACT SAME strategy. Your job could get moved to downtown DC or Suitland or Charlotte or Boise next year, too. And then you'd also be in the position of potentially struggling to find a new job close to home (I'm applying!) while working out difficult family logistics (I'm interviewing a new sitter!). Other people aren't idiots because their life circumstances changed. It could happen to you too.

Here's the other problem, except feds, many don't stay at jobs more than 3-8 years so financially it makes no sense to keep moving for each new job and uprooting your family. You lose a lot of money buying/selling, moving costs. Feds are not the only RTO. My spouse, who worked in his job before covid was WFH, and was called into the office 5 days a week. We don't know how stable the job is and the kids have friends, activities, their schools, etc so uprooting them to reduce an hour commute each way makes no sense. We have a small "affordable" house (as in 1000 square feet) - I'd love to move and get a bigger house but that wouldn't be fair to our kids.

We don't move for each new job. We limit the geographic search radius when job searching.

That is just not viable for many people, can you not understand this? I'm a former Fed, so I have no dog in this fight except that my friends and my governance is impacted. But DH and I both have STEM PhDs with different specialization. We live in an area with a lot of options, but our skills and experience are specialized enough that we can't count on being able to find jobs within 30 minutes of our house. And, no, it's not because we are too important to do jobs that are "beneath" us. It's also because no one will hire us for jobs we are overqualified for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RTO alone shouldn’t be a problem because if you have little kids, then you should always have had daycare.

RTO with no telework or flexibility and long commutes is what creates the problem. Both parents having 10-12 hour days is what makes things awful. Kids in daycare for 11-12 hours and a diet of convenience foods is a disaster.

Right we used hybrid and didnt use aftercare for our 9 year old. But didn’t matter we never got off the waiting list 40 kids long….

Now we are trying to find a driving nanny, which is $$$ — just in time for being laid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

How nice for adding your anecdote, which is a sample of 1 family.

Living in a house isn’t a right. It’s a privilege. You could’ve rented a modest apartment close in and even in a good school district. There’s nothing wrong with kids being in school and before/after care for 11 hours. Ours have done just fine. And this is coming from someone who has worked from home for the last 10 years and had full time before and after care during that time. Own your choices. It’s not fair and I get parents who didn’t think ahead are struggling right now but you should’ve seen the writing on the wall at least by November 7th.