Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage

[Anonymous]

Hello, I am a 28 yr Old Af Am woman tired to the dating scene want wants a quality partner. I want honest feedback from happpily married ppl on what i am doing wrong

Details
28 years old
Security Engineer with a Masters
Slim hourglass build (recently lost 25 pounds)
Natural hair, brown skin, white straight teeth,
Dress stylish, gym 4x a week, get manis/pedis/do masks

Interests: hiking, working out, festivals, cooking, travel

Dating details
- have usually dated men in 30s who are same ethnicity
- express wanting to settle down early
-they seem on board, but relationships die, had sex with some, some I didnt
-a few had sex too early
-I have tried online, but prefer in person
- have been told I should come off warmer and open minded

Right now I am trying to open up more and be as social I can be within my busy schedule. I would really appreciate some hard, honest feedback

[Anonymous]

You sound great. Relax and it will all work out fine.

38yo white male.

[Anonymous]

Uh, you didn't really give any negative info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, you didn't really give any negative info.

lol ok some negatives

can be defensive, and come off guarded
can be snappy
sometimes interrupt ppl when they talk

[Anonymous]

Don't express wanting to settle down early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, you didn't really give any negative info.

lol ok some negatives

can be defensive, and come off guarded
can be snappy
sometimes interrupt ppl when they talk

NP. Not a big deal. No one is perfect, but it sounds like you come pretty close!

[Anonymous]

What are your requirements for the men you date in terms of

1. Height
2. Education
3. Income
4. Religiousity
5. Background/race

[Anonymous]

You're human. I agree with PPs. The best thing you can do at 28 is know absolutely everything that you can about yourself as a woman. Expose yourself to things hat interest you and don't hesitate to wait for someone else to do it. When the right person comes along, be as whole as you can. Until then, don't look at relationships and experiences as failures, recognize hem as opportunities to get one step closer to what you know you need. Not only that -- learn to identify what you provide in your heart, not on paper. If you're broken (and most all of us are in some way at some point) begin repairing.

It's a good time in life. Embrace it. Seriously

35yo AA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, I am a 28 yr Old Af Am woman tired to the dating scene want wants a quality partner. I want honest feedback from happpily married ppl on what i am doing wrong

Details
28 years old
Security Engineer with a Masters
Slim hourglass build (recently lost 25 pounds)
Natural hair, brown skin, white straight teeth,
Dress stylish, gym 4x a week, get manis/pedis/do masks

Interests: hiking, working out, festivals, cooking, travel

Dating details
- have usually dated men in 30s who are same ethnicity
- express wanting to settle down early
-they seem on board, but relationships die, had sex with some, some I didnt
-a few had sex too early
-I have tried online, but prefer in person
- have been told I should come off warmer and open minded

Right now I am trying to open up more and be as social I can be within my busy schedule. I would really appreciate some hard, honest feedback

This is where you need to focus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are your requirements for the men you date in terms of

1. Height
2. Education
3. Income
4. Religiousity
5. Background/race

1. height....just be a decent amount taller (im 5'4'')
2. education....min bachelors
3. Im open to income
4. Christian
5. Preferably Black....im open now though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're human. I agree with PPs. The best thing you can do at 28 is know absolutely everything that you can about yourself as a woman. Expose yourself to things hat interest you and don't hesitate to wait for someone else to do it. When the right person comes along, be as whole as you can. Until then, don't look at relationships and experiences as failures, recognize hem as opportunities to get one step closer to what you know you need. Not only that -- learn to identify what you provide in your heart, not on paper. If you're broken (and most all of us are in some way at some point) begin repairing.

It's a good time in life. Embrace it. Seriously

35yo AA

Thank you, i realize I have many things to work on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't express wanting to settle down early.

I have heard this....why is this a kiss of death?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, I am a 28 yr Old Af Am woman tired to the dating scene want wants a quality partner. I want honest feedback from happpily married ppl on what i am doing wrong

Details
28 years old
Security Engineer with a Masters
Slim hourglass build (recently lost 25 pounds)
Natural hair, brown skin, white straight teeth,
Dress stylish, gym 4x a week, get manis/pedis/do masks

Interests: hiking, working out, festivals, cooking, travel

Dating details
- have usually dated men in 30s who are same ethnicity
- express wanting to settle down early
-they seem on board, but relationships die, had sex with some, some I didnt
-a few had sex too early
-I have tried online, but prefer in person
- have been told I should come off warmer and open minded

Right now I am trying to open up more and be as social I can be within my busy schedule. I would really appreciate some hard, honest feedback

When you are dating someone with the same ethnicity, are they more traditional or Americanized? Your post sounds like you are more Americanized which makes it tougher to meet in person because they don't all congregate at similar places. Maybe check with organized/structured activities such as hiking, kayaking, cooking to see if you can catch someone's eye. Are you opposed to hitting on a guy?

[Anonymous]

For young women it seems like finding the right guy happens when you are NOT looking, but staying active. Do things that you like to do, join groups of people who do the same thing. Try some new things, join groups that do those. Volunteer in you free time. Plan trips for yourself with friends, etc. Don't worry about meeting someone and dating, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't express wanting to settle down early.

I have heard this....why is this a kiss of death?

New poster here. Because it makes you seem desperate. Like you just want to hook a baby daddy and don't really care about the PERSON. Also, you're 28. "Early" has sailed. Just listen to us and stop mentioning it. You can instead say "I like being in one relationship rather than dating multiple people at the same time." It gets across the point that you're serious.

Also, consider being into comedy. Movies, stand-up shows, etc. Maybe that'll loosen you up a little.

Lastly, I have at least three friends who have gone to professional matchmakers. They can tell you what you're doing wrong. And you may be doing nothing wrong other than looking in the right places. Have you looked at church, since you say Christianity is important to you?