Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
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Anonymous
I am not opposed, but I have heard to makes women look to forward. and that men are wired to go for what they want. I just started joining meetups and more networking. |
Anonymous
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You sound great! Work on the guardedness/warmth.
Since you prefer meeting in person to online, I'd say try a combo of both. Have you done Meetup.com? There are plenty of groups very relevant to your interests. Join a hiking one. There are some just for singles, but even those that aren't specific to relationship status will have plenty of singles. You can do something you enjoy while meeting in-shape people in a low-pressure setting. For culture specific things, I'm not going to be as open as I would in a different setting. I will say if you want marriage and are attracted to men of other ethnicities, you'll up your odds of marriage if you open up the pool. I would also say perhaps check to make sure "slim hourglass" actually means that, since I know culturally, we tend to think large is smaller than it actually is. Good luck! |
Anonymous
Not the kiss of death but a red flag very often that implies other things if brought up too soon. It implies a hole that you're looking to fill, instead of accepting the process and wanting to share a life because of a bond that you can only really discover without pressure. you can be open to commitment without having a timeline. I like you OP, you will probably see what you're hoping for sooner than you think. 
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Anonymous
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Definitely try to be more open and friendly
Definitely look outside your ethnicity |
Anonymous
You should throw this line of thinking out. I'm not saying to aggressively hunt men down. But some women advocate this advice to the point of not even talking to a guy first. If every woman followed this advice, there'd be a lot more single people. |
Anonymous
| I'll second that if religion is important for you , you should try finding church groups, religion-oriented social groups, etc. It's also just a nice way to grow your social circle, make new friends, etc. |
Anonymous
NO, NO, NO. Never do that |
Anonymous
| You don't have to "ask him out." You can just ask him if he is interested in some non-threatening activity that isn't automatically associated with a date. Or you can do the conspicuous "So... any plans for the weekend?" routine in a way that opens things up for him to ask you out if he's interested. |
Anonymous
That sounds like fine advice, but just note there are slim pickings in terms of young AA men who are regular church goers. I just never encountered many. I also preferred dating AA men (although open to other races/ethnicities, never dated any) when I was single. I'm a 30-something AA woman who grew up Christian in the South , but ended up marrying a black immigrant who is not Christian, but was a great match in other ways. There were some things I refused to compromise on (level of education, gainfully employed, ambitious, a kind person, intelligent, etc.), but for some things, it pays to be a bit more open-minded. |
Anonymous
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What's wrong with asking someone out?
As a woman, if I really like someone and want to spend more time with him, there's no way I would wait for him to ask. Life is too short. |
Anonymous
This might be a good time to sit down and discuss your situation with your landlord. Trust me on this one! |
Anonymous
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Have you tried dating lots of different "types"?
I've been married over 20 years, and if I'd written a list of things I was looking for in a mate, my husband wouldn't have matched even half the things on my list. But he's perfect for me. |
Anonymous
I never thought of that....thanks for that perspective. |
Anonymous
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Is your problem meeting men? Then you should absolutely continue to do online dating, that is the place to be once you are no longer in an environment with many single people (like college).
Second, men appear to be visual (big revelation I know ), are you as attractive as you can be to your target audience?
Lastly, I hear many white men confessing that they find black women attractive (in a sincere way, not some crazy fetish) but are afraid to approach. Again, this can be solved with OLD. Good luck OP! |
Anonymous
As far as different types I have dated tall and short, introverted and extroverted. I am weary of meeting church men cause it can be a catty competition with other women whom want to settle down Thanks yall for the honest feedback. Ill chill with expressing the settle down part... |