Is DH trying to keep me down, or is he being reasonable?
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Anonymous
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DH is against all schooling/education for me. He's had 17yrs of college, grad, and post-grad. I only had 4 years of undergrad, and then continuing ed courses. I initially supported us while he was in school, but then once he finished and started working, he earned more than me. I stopped working last year to take care of our 2 young kids, which he pushed. His line of work is so inflexible that it really requires one of us to either have a super flexible job, or to be at home. I want to eventually go back to school (part-time), then start a business once the kids are in elementary. But DH is against it - just the school part, not the starting a business part, which he supports. He doesn't think I need any schooling to start a business (I have no business background, I'm a creative pro, and frankly I suck at the financial and management side).
He has always been against any kind of formal school for me. I have suspicions that he is trying to keep me down, in a weaker position - he grew up in a misogynistic household, and he really does have some misogynistic tendencies. OR Is he just intellectually against formal education (as he claims)? OR do you think he is just trying to be practical/reasonable and doesn't think it is worth the time/money? What would you think if you were in my situation? |
Anonymous
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Well, lots of ways to start a business besides going to school for another degree. You could partner with someone complementary. Might be a budget thing or maybe in his own experience his on the job stuff is not really leveraging or related to his degree...
Do you have daughters? Any indication or odd phrases towards them that are misogynist? |
Anonymous
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Btw, what does 17 years of college, grad and Phd mean?
He was 36 by the time he truly worked full time? I really hope he's a specialist surgeon... |
Anonymous
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Entrepreneur here. You can probably skip the school and partner or outsource the bits you don't know... or get a mentor. You don't need an MBA to start a business.
What type of business anyway? I may be able to advise what you'd need to know. |
Anonymous
Yes we have a daughter. He is anti- anything girly, like pink, princess, jewelry, makeup, clothes, ballet, anything superficial- he calls all that stuff stupid He does it in the spirit of protecting her from female stereotypes. He's never once commented on her looks - that she's beautiful, pretty, etc, probably because he doesn't want her to feel her value lies in such superficial things. I disagree with him on all these fronts. To me, being empowered as a woman, is being able to be whatever you want, wear whatever color you like, and to feel beautiful inside and out. He absolutely adores her though, loves and respects her, admires her, is attentive to her, and is patient with her. It just seems he is against girlish things, and he wants her not to be stereotypically girlish, like it's a terrible thing to be. |
Anonymous
I'm not looking to get an mba at this point. But I'd like to take some business courses - economics, finance, management, accounting. I don't even know specifically what type of business yet - this is more of a 5 year plan. It will most likely be in the creative sector, since that's where my background and skills lie. |
Anonymous
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What's his line of work? Especially one that took 17 yrs of schooling.
Is he embarassed to admit that nearly 2 decades of schooling doesn't really payoff (debt, loans, could've chosen did career path, etc) and doesn't want you to fall in the same trap? |
Anonymous
oops I added wrong - it's 15 years. He was 33 when he started working full time. |
Anonymous
Actually, he did say all his schooling has turned him against education. He thinks most of it unnecessary. And yeah, lots of debt. And he never liked his career, but thinks he likes it as much as he could any career. He took the long windy route in his career path. |
Anonymous
| What is his career? |
Anonymous
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If he's in academia that's like water and oil with an entrepreneurial startup/capitalist mentality.
Get some outside opinions, weight those more. |
Anonymous
medicine |
Anonymous
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Agree wth the above. He could be extremely risk averse.
Or having some sort of cognitive dissonance with all his various schooling (sounds like he switched tracks a couple times??) and working and then you wanting to do more school. |
Anonymous
Research side or patient side? |
Anonymous
patient |