Is DH trying to keep me down, or is he being reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? Take out $50K in loans for some "communications" or "environmental science" or "womens studies" masters degree? Bad idea.

Op here and to clarify again for you and other pp's: I don't want a degree. I want to take courses to fill in some skill and knowledge gaps I feel I need to be a good small business owner.

And I have a timeline in my head. Start taking the courses in the fall once my youngest starts preschool (2.5hrs in the morning). Start the business once my youngest starts 1st grade, which will be in 2020. Also we will be done paying off our mortgage that same year, so that will free up some money for us that I could invest into the business. But mostly I plan to bootstrap it. I am very debt-averse-- never had any, except for our mortgage.

go to coursera. There is plenty of structure with weekly homeworkers etc. no need to create so much drama about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is being a true hypocrite if he claims that he is against intellectual formal education, yet immersed himself in it for years.

I don't understand his flawed logic on this.

Op here. DH says it is partially because he has spent so much time and money in school, and has seen so much formal education first hand, that he feels this way. And this is coming from someone who went to the top ivy universities. He says the rotations in med school and residency program were valuable, but apart from that, the classroom courses were all a waste of time. That's his experience. Because he is a self-learner and learn by doing type of guy. He refuses to be traditionally taught by others. He claims he slept through 90% of his classes and just read the text after instead. He doesn't really get that I learn better with structure, and that I get more than just knowledge out of it.

That's funny. Apparently this highly educated man hasn't thought of the most obvious argument of all - that he needed the degree se to become a doctor while you don't need them to be a "businesswoman".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is being a true hypocrite if he claims that he is against intellectual formal education, yet immersed himself in it for years.

I don't understand his flawed logic on this.

Op here. DH says it is partially because he has spent so much time and money in school, and has seen so much formal education first hand, that he feels this way. And this is coming from someone who went to the top ivy universities. He says the rotations in med school and residency program were valuable, but apart from that, the classroom courses were all a waste of time. That's his experience. Because he is a self-learner and learn by doing type of guy. He refuses to be traditionally taught by others. He claims he slept through 90% of his classes and just read the text after instead. He doesn't really get that I learn better with structure, and that I get more than just knowledge out of it.

Wow OP. You seem intelligent enough to understand all of the fallacies in your DH's argument. But I can't help but point out that despite all of his education and fancy degrees, your DH sounds like a complete fool.

-- Person with multiple advanced degrees who also thinks it's important to learn from doing...but is not so blind to my privilege to not understand the advantages conferred upon me by my formal education

[Anonymous]

Pp here. You mentioned in initial post going to school part-time which sounded more like a degree not a class here or there. It also sounds like part of the desire is the intellectual stimulation of being in a classroom environment not that it is necessary for the job. He may think classes are worthless and maybe they aren't his preferred learning method whatever but you find value in it and not necessarily one that is strictly ROI. I do agree with DH that business wise, an apprenticeship might have more value BUT, to me it is more a difference of how you spend household money and not making a PowerPoint presentation justifying taking one or two courses. I don't know what type of car he drives or if he has any hobby that cost money but to me if he is willing to spend $2-3K more for upgrades on a car because it has a smoother ride etc, and financially you are able to afford it, this is your equivalent buy. Not to get into the war of the roses but it drives me crazy when guys comment how their wives spend money shopping and then they've spend the same if not more on cars, electronics, sports etc. Anyway, you are making the wrong argument with DH, this is your just for you thing like whatever equivalent he may have. He may not get it just as you may not get why something is "worth it" to him, but you have contributed financially to the household and you aren't making a reckless financial decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is being a true hypocrite if he claims that he is against intellectual formal education, yet immersed himself in it for years.

I don't understand his flawed logic on this.

Op here. DH says it is partially because he has spent so much time and money in school, and has seen so much formal education first hand, that he feels this way. And this is coming from someone who went to the top ivy universities. He says the rotations in med school and residency program were valuable, but apart from that, the classroom courses were all a waste of time. That's his experience. Because he is a self-learner and learn by doing type of guy. He refuses to be traditionally taught by others. He claims he slept through 90% of his classes and just read the text after instead. He doesn't really get that I learn better with structure, and that I get more than just knowledge out of it.

Wow OP. You seem intelligent enough to understand all of the fallacies in your DH's argument. But I can't help but point out that despite all of his education and fancy degrees, your DH sounds like a complete fool.

-- Person with multiple advanced degrees who also thinks it's important to learn from doing...but is not so blind to my privilege to not understand the advantages conferred upon me by my formal education

This assumes that OP conveyed her husband's arguments accurately. Which is doubtful.

[Anonymous]

After reading about his "philosophical opposition to education" I think he is just a fool, sorry ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? Take out $50K in loans for some "communications" or "environmental science" or "womens studies" masters degree? Bad idea.

Op here and to clarify again for you and other pp's: I don't want a degree. I want to take courses to fill in some skill and knowledge gaps I feel I need to be a good small business owner.

And I have a timeline in my head. Start taking the courses in the fall once my youngest starts preschool (2.5hrs in the morning). Start the business once my youngest starts 1st grade, which will be in 2020. Also we will be done paying off our mortgage that same year, so that will free up some money for us that I could invest into the business. But mostly I plan to bootstrap it. I am very debt-averse-- never had any, except for our mortgage.

go to coursera. There is plenty of structure with weekly homeworkers etc. no need to create so much drama about this.

Thanks for the recommendation PP, I will look at coursera
-OP

[Anonymous]

WTF??? If you want to go to school, you should be able to go to school!! He's trying to keep you down.