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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is better at sports than his same age cousin but my SIL never mentions it. What should I do?

Brag about your son being good at sports to your SIL in front of the cousin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have itchy bumps on my butt cheeks. How should I treat them?

Don't use Cruex unless you want your itchy butt zits to stink of chemicals.

[Anonymous]

My kids don't like to bathe and they have greasy hair. Should we go to the pool without showering first?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids don't like to bathe and they have greasy hair. Should we go to the pool without showering first?

Squirt some shampoo on their heads before they dive in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have itchy bumps on my butt cheeks. How should I treat them?

Pop them on a zoom conference call, asking your coworkers for directions because you obviously can’t see your own ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids don't like to bathe and they have greasy hair. Should we go to the pool without showering first?

Squirt some shampoo on their heads before they dive in.

I hear lice love greasy heads. Add lice, then go to the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is better at sports than his same age cousin but my SIL never mentions it. What should I do?

Give SIL’s son a present:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is better at sports than his same age cousin but my SIL never mentions it. What should I do?

Brag about your son being good at sports to your SIL in front of the cousin.

Declare your kid the athlete of year for your family at the next get together. Tell nephew he needs to step it up in order to keep your kid motivated against the competition.

[Anonymous]

We need a new Netflix or Hulu show, what should we watch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need a new Netflix or Hulu show, what should we watch?

LazyTown

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should I do for July 4th?

launch a huge fireworks display from your backyard. You neighbors will love it. Do it pretty late to make sure they are back from where ever they went.

Also, do some more on the 5th of July, about midnight, to remind them of the fun they had the day before. You need new a few; just make sure they are loud.

So we’re not shooting guns off into the sky as well? Neighbors adore the game of trying to figure out if it’s a distant firework show, neighborhood fireworks or guns (always their last guess). I feel like the flurry of neighborhood postings brings everyone together. The true spirit of Independence Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is better at sports than his same age cousin but my SIL never mentions it. What should I do?

Brag about your son being good at sports to your SIL in front of the cousin.

Declare your kid the athlete of year for your family at the next get together. Tell nephew he needs to step it up in order to keep your kid motivated against the competition.

Do you recommend lawn signs in addition to the t-shirts? A bumper sticker for the car?

[Anonymous]

Bumper sticker and also teach your kid how to trash talk his cousin. I'm surprised he doesn't know this already? For starters, have him say this:
"Do you ever get bored?"
Cousin will say "Yes."
"I never get bored because I play _____!" (insert name of sport)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids don't like to bathe and they have greasy hair. Should we go to the pool without showering first?

Apply blue gouache to their hair. The pool will be more beautiful(like Fiji), so it’s a nice compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should I do for July 4th?

I have a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, will match with my merman leggings (I’m a woman identifying as merman). But I don’t know where I can find someone bald to walk me around that I won’t make topple over. I’m a pretty thicc merman. My “fish scales” weigh a lot, I’m embarrassed to admit.