Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

People really only need after care for elementary. What clubs does your elementary school have? Because ours has zero.

I’m in Loudoun and schools end before 3pm. After school care through the school is pitiful. Kids were being picked on, learning about sex acts, etc. Everyone who could afford it pulled their kids out. There was clearly no supervision. I’m still angry at our aftercare program. Some of these kids truly must have troubled families from the things they told our children about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

Thanks PP. For some reason Fairfax county has so many of those. They are non existent in Arlington. I wonder why. The waiting lists for extended day is schools are huge and it’s hard to get in. So I’m not sure why they are so hard to find in Arlington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

Our schools here have huge wait lists and not enough spots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

Thanks PP. For some reason Fairfax county has so many of those. They are non existent in Arlington. I wonder why. The waiting lists for extended day is schools are huge and it’s hard to get in. So I’m not sure why they are so hard to find in Arlington.

I'm PP and it probably varies school to school even in Fairfax. I'm talking about actual school run clubs, not SACC or external care. It's stuff like cheer team, photography, legos, environmental awareness, pokemon, basketball, etc, and they are run by teachers or sometimes an outside company that comes to the school. They are just once a week so they help if you have one day you know both you and your spouse need extra time.

It's not a full time solution like afteerare, but I was surprised at how useful they were and how much the kids actually like them because they are part of the school community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

Our schools here have huge wait lists and not enough spots.

For school run clubs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You use daycare next to office. When I worked in Bethesda there was literally a nice day care center in building right next to office. The Mom next to me used to bring kid to work with her. drop her kid next door and go to work. No stress. They got 40 minutes in car every morning. At end of day, she walk and get her. If OT needed the come back to office, kid would hang out with Mom 15 minutes to an hour then they drive home.

My own wife her company actually had day care in building. My wife used to go down at lunch time and take my daughter out for a stroll on nice days and play with her at lunch time. They also had an app with a link my wife could click on her desk to see our kid. My wife checked it a lot first week or two.

You can have Mom friendly companies that are in person.

I then was lucky to move to a very family friendly company. Amazing pay and good medical so my wife then decided to take a break from work for 20 years. Waited to the youngest of three hit HS before going back.

Let me break it down to you. I have three kids. Two are in elementary school. They don’t go to daycare. One is in daycare. I pick the one in daycare up at 5:30 pm. We can’t afford to live right next to work. However we did pay a premium to live right next to a metro in Arlington. My husband’s work relocated last year and now is far from the metro. My job is next to the metro but takes approximately 50-1 hr to commute (this is considered a good commute by DC standards). Daycare doesn’t exist for my elementary school kids. You must not understand what daycare is.

Do you send your children to private school? All of the local public schools have after care programs (many also have before care). And there are private companies that pick up from school for after care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

Thanks PP. For some reason Fairfax county has so many of those. They are non existent in Arlington. I wonder why. The waiting lists for extended day is schools are huge and it’s hard to get in. So I’m not sure why they are so hard to find in Arlington.

I'm PP and it probably varies school to school even in Fairfax. I'm talking about actual school run clubs, not SACC or external care. It's stuff like cheer team, photography, legos, environmental awareness, pokemon, basketball, etc, and they are run by teachers or sometimes an outside company that comes to the school. They are just once a week so they help if you have one day you know both you and your spouse need extra time.

It's not a full time solution like afteerare, but I was surprised at how useful they were and how much the kids actually like them because they are part of the school community.

These programs rely on parent volunteers. They are fantastic, but they each need two or more volunteers to help with supervision. Expect them to go away if parents are commuting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

Thanks PP. For some reason Fairfax county has so many of those. They are non existent in Arlington. I wonder why. The waiting lists for extended day is schools are huge and it’s hard to get in. So I’m not sure why they are so hard to find in Arlington.

I'm PP and it probably varies school to school even in Fairfax. I'm talking about actual school run clubs, not SACC or external care. It's stuff like cheer team, photography, legos, environmental awareness, pokemon, basketball, etc, and they are run by teachers or sometimes an outside company that comes to the school. They are just once a week so they help if you have one day you know both you and your spouse need extra time.

It's not a full time solution like afteerare, but I was surprised at how useful they were and how much the kids actually like them because they are part of the school community.

At my children's school, this sort of thing is once a week and runs 6-8 weeks. So it helps a little bit but still need to figure out something the rest of the days.

[Anonymous]

I found daycare for my kids. Private homebased. My spouse and I alternate days for pickup and drop off based on schedules. Some weeks are better than others for us. It's pricy but we have banked the savings from WFH daycare savings so it's not too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found daycare for my kids. Private homebased. My spouse and I alternate days for pickup and drop off based on schedules. Some weeks are better than others for us. It's pricy but we have banked the savings from WFH daycare savings so it's not too bad.

So, you didn't need to spend money on daycare while working from home? How did you find the time to actually "work" during the day (or after school hours) while supervising your kids? THIS is why feds are being forced to RTO because some are not actually working their full 40 hour weeks while also handling childcare duties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly experienced mothers would not stoop to this pettiness.

I agree - truly experienced moms get that balancing kids and work is hard and we applaud those parents who are investing in reliable childcare so they can actually work. I’ve been burned at work by parents who are distracted trying to juggle kids and work for an extended period of time and don’t get that the solution is to invest in childcare.

Ha- doesn’t get better back in the office. I get burned by parents having to leave at 5pm on the dot to pick up their kids from daycare. We often have meetings that go past that. They claim daycares close at 6 and kid has softball. Seems like more nannies are needed.

Many daycares do close at 6 pm. Also after a long day without their parents you are saying young children shouldn’t see their parents for even longer and parents should just hire a nanny? Seems like what you are saying is that being a good parent is not compatible with having a full time job. Basically this is what republicans want. For working mothers to quit their jobs. What people who want women in the workplace but agree with you are saying is that either kids should just not see their parents except on the weekends or that women who want to work should not have kids. Disgusting.

Or, you know, just don’t live an hour away from your job.

I simply can’t afford to live in DC. What I can afford is a 2 bedroom apartment and I have three kids. What you are telling me is I shouldn’t have kids. Do you believe that working women should have kids? It’s a simple question. Or do you only believe that working women who are rich enough to afford a house right next to work should have kids? Also do you believe that kids with working parents should be able to see at least their parents for more than an hour a day?

I believe none of those things. I believe if you can afford to live in/near DC, you should get a different job closer to where you CAN afford to live.

I understand this argument to an extent, but who on earth do you expect to fulfill civil servant positions if salaries do not allow you to live within a reasonable commuting distance of those jobs? Same with teachers- I’ve seen too many lovely, hard working DCPS teachers leave to teach in the burbs once they have kids because the commute just doesn’t work anymore.

I don’t know. My spouse and I quickly determined that fed salaries were not going to work for us and neither was living in DC and Arlington with a family. So we got jobs in Tysons and Reston and moved to a house in the burbs where we have been ever since. Choices that have been maligned heavily on DCUM over the years. But I have never had to complain that I live too far from my office to possibly expected to actually drive there! I’ve never commuted an hour one way in my life. That would simply be a non starter for me, even before kids. And if we could not have afforded a reasonable house and reasonable commutes in this area, we would have move away. That’s the God’s honest truth. I don’t think it’s reasonable for all these people have these mammoth commutes and kids in daycare 11 hours a day. The difference is that I don’t think RTO is the problem.

DP you seem to have this mindset of thinking if someone didn't make the same choices as you do, you don't think any of their concerns are valid.

For a long time (since before the pandemic) the federal government has allowed telework in certain jobs, making them possible for families with two working parents to have sane lives. It wasn't available for every job, but it helped. Now it is available for no jobs. That's insane and counterproductive to attracting good people. This is not good policy and is obviously not intended to make the government work better (they don't want the government to work at all). I get that you don't care, but that's a you problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this won't help everyone but one suggestion I have if your kids are in elementary school is to ask about the after school programs. We live in Fairfax county and our elementary school has before and after school clubs that are very reasonably priced. My husband and I have semi flexible hybrid arrangements but mostly work in our offices. We have our kids pick a few clubs each year so that we have some additional flexibility with when they need to be picked up. When they stay after for a club we pick up at 515 pm. I worked in DC today and left my office around 430pm and had plenty of time to get there.

I know this doesn't solve all problems. But the schools are flexible enough to allow kids to join mid year if there are spots.

When they were younger we did the morning clubs too, so they were out of the house by 730.

oh yes no one thought of this before......!