DD’s friend inappropriate TikTok dances…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw my 12 year old doing this dance by herself in the living room, and I told her to stop because that was a stripper dance and not appropriate. She had seen other girls do it at sleepaway camp during a dance party and also most likely on social media. She didn't seem to realize that it was an inappropriate dance. The lines are definitely blurred these days with cheerleaders and celebrities performing these kinds of modified lap dances.

OP here. I am clearly a bad parent. My kid doesn’t have tiktok on her phone but does dances when using mine - and we talk about what she posts and what others post etc. and she has tons of activities to limit her screen time. But we also live in reality. When her friend groups and most of the extended friend groups get together they are doing these fads. Go ahead and judge.

I didn’t plan to say to this mom her kid was inappropriate- it’s not out of pearl clutching vs being worried about a little girl who is doing heavily sexualized things without having a clue about what they are and posting them - and others can then see them too. I think it’s highly likely this mom has no idea what idea what her kid is doing and also would then maybe talk to the kid about it maybe. These kids are so young and really don’t get how sexual these things are. I have heard so many Moms talking about how their kids aren’t on tiktok or Snapchat or other forums - but I’ve seen all their kids dances in posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I followed along - through my kid - on how a friend of his is handling the business side of tictoc. She apparently is winding down now as she is going to college this Fall. She took last year off to do tictoc and because college classes were very off last year do you covid.

Anyway, she did 3 new videos a week and grossed about $600 a video. She got started her Senior year in high school. According to my kid, they are thinking that she banked enough to pay for college. And, she will have a great resume entry forever.

Wait, people get paid for tik tok videos?

Am I really that out of touch?

I thought it was just sharing silly dances with your friends?

It’s like Instagram. If you have a large following, you can get paid. For everyone else it is just silly videos with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your 11 year old have a smart phone? No phone. No app. No problem.

We did not let ours have one until 13 although most kids don’t n her grade had one earlier. They find ways to start social
Media accounts on their school Computers that even get around the school Monitoring software and on iPads which the School earlier requested we get for daily IXL … I still regret following school advice about that.

I don’t think not allowing a phone is a long term solution to helping teens to navigate social Media wisely …

This is just a parenting fail.

Hmm let’s see. Some of the most smug parents I know about how wonderful their parenting and kids are have no idea what their kids get up to online. Their kids tend to be the mean judgmental ones who alienate everyone by their self righteous know it all blanket negative judgments about people. This escalates online into nasty spats and name calling.

We held off with a phone as long as we could. We set limits and our daughter shows me everything she posts for prior approval. I also have seen what other girls in her year are posting and sometimes it is fine but often it is not.

My daughter and I trust each other. That is not a parenting fail.

Except that it is. You can trust your child but it is inappropriate to give them access to the ills of the world when they are too young to process the content. You displace the responsibility to regulate your child's behavior onto a mind that is not developmentally capable. This is not trust. It it irresponsible parenting. It's also not judgmental. It is a fact.

+1. This is the exact truth here and anyone who denies it has a fundamental lack of understanding about human behavior and development.

Sorry to be direct (although that seems to be your MI) - but Your head is so far up your own colon, that you bring new meaning to naval gazing …

We waited until kid was a teenager and monitor content and messages she gets. You know where 99% of the alerts for inappropriate content come from? Her school work because they tackle weighty issues of war, violence and other “ills of the word “already in MS.

Your self righteous certitude is laughable. The world is a complicated place and we are all doing our best to help our kids navigate the internet. I highly doubt your methods would work for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw my 12 year old doing this dance by herself in the living room, and I told her to stop because that was a stripper dance and not appropriate. She had seen other girls do it at sleepaway camp during a dance party and also most likely on social media. She didn't seem to realize that it was an inappropriate dance. The lines are definitely blurred these days with cheerleaders and celebrities performing these kinds of modified lap dances.

OP here. I am clearly a bad parent. My kid doesn’t have tiktok on her phone but does dances when using mine - and we talk about what she posts and what others post etc. and she has tons of activities to limit her screen time. But we also live in reality. When her friend groups and most of the extended friend groups get together they are doing these fads. Go ahead and judge.

I didn’t plan to say to this mom her kid was inappropriate- it’s not out of pearl clutching vs being worried about a little girl who is doing heavily sexualized things without having a clue about what they are and posting them - and others can then see them too. I think it’s highly likely this mom has no idea what idea what her kid is doing and also would then maybe talk to the kid about it maybe. These kids are so young and really don’t get how sexual these things are. I have heard so many Moms talking about how their kids aren’t on tiktok or Snapchat or other forums - but I’ve seen all their kids dances in posts.

You sound like a good parent and kind soul to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw my 12 year old doing this dance by herself in the living room, and I told her to stop because that was a stripper dance and not appropriate. She had seen other girls do it at sleepaway camp during a dance party and also most likely on social media. She didn't seem to realize that it was an inappropriate dance. The lines are definitely blurred these days with cheerleaders and celebrities performing these kinds of modified lap dances.

OP here. I am clearly a bad parent. My kid doesn’t have tiktok on her phone but does dances when using mine - and we talk about what she posts and what others post etc. and she has tons of activities to limit her screen time. But we also live in reality. When her friend groups and most of the extended friend groups get together they are doing these fads. Go ahead and judge.

I didn’t plan to say to this mom her kid was inappropriate- it’s not out of pearl clutching vs being worried about a little girl who is doing heavily sexualized things without having a clue about what they are and posting them - and others can then see them too. I think it’s highly likely this mom has no idea what idea what her kid is doing and also would then maybe talk to the kid about it maybe. These kids are so young and really don’t get how sexual these things are. I have heard so many Moms talking about how their kids aren’t on tiktok or Snapchat or other forums - but I’ve seen all their kids dances in posts.

You sound like a good parent and kind soul to me.

I agree that your concern is well placed. However, unless you know these parents REALLY really well, do not say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your 11 year old have a smart phone? No phone. No app. No problem.

We did not let ours have one until 13 although most kids don’t n her grade had one earlier. They find ways to start social
Media accounts on their school Computers that even get around the school Monitoring software and on iPads which the School earlier requested we get for daily IXL … I still regret following school advice about that.

I don’t think not allowing a phone is a long term solution to helping teens to navigate social Media wisely …

This is just a parenting fail.

Hmm let’s see. Some of the most smug parents I know about how wonderful their parenting and kids are have no idea what their kids get up to online. Their kids tend to be the mean judgmental ones who alienate everyone by their self righteous know it all blanket negative judgments about people. This escalates online into nasty spats and name calling.

We held off with a phone as long as we could. We set limits and our daughter shows me everything she posts for prior approval. I also have seen what other girls in her year are posting and sometimes it is fine but often it is not.

My daughter and I trust each other. That is not a parenting fail.

Except that it is. You can trust your child but it is inappropriate to give them access to the ills of the world when they are too young to process the content. You displace the responsibility to regulate your child's behavior onto a mind that is not developmentally capable. This is not trust. It it irresponsible parenting. It's also not judgmental. It is a fact.

+1. This is the exact truth here and anyone who denies it has a fundamental lack of understanding about human behavior and development.

Sorry to be direct (although that seems to be your MI) - but Your head is so far up your own colon, that you bring new meaning to naval gazing …

We waited until kid was a teenager and monitor content and messages she gets. You know where 99% of the alerts for inappropriate content come from? Her school work because they tackle weighty issues of war, violence and other “ills of the word “already in MS.

Your self righteous certitude is laughable. The world is a complicated place and we are all doing our best to help our kids navigate the internet. I highly doubt your methods would work for everyone.

Your rationizations for your inept parenting are sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your 11 year old have a smart phone? No phone. No app. No problem.

We did not let ours have one until 13 although most kids don’t n her grade had one earlier. They find ways to start social
Media accounts on their school Computers that even get around the school Monitoring software and on iPads which the School earlier requested we get for daily IXL … I still regret following school advice about that.

I don’t think not allowing a phone is a long term solution to helping teens to navigate social Media wisely …

This is just a parenting fail.

Hmm let’s see. Some of the most smug parents I know about how wonderful their parenting and kids are have no idea what their kids get up to online. Their kids tend to be the mean judgmental ones who alienate everyone by their self righteous know it all blanket negative judgments about people. This escalates online into nasty spats and name calling.

We held off with a phone as long as we could. We set limits and our daughter shows me everything she posts for prior approval. I also have seen what other girls in her year are posting and sometimes it is fine but often it is not.

My daughter and I trust each other. That is not a parenting fail.

Except that it is. You can trust your child but it is inappropriate to give them access to the ills of the world when they are too young to process the content. You displace the responsibility to regulate your child's behavior onto a mind that is not developmentally capable. This is not trust. It it irresponsible parenting. It's also not judgmental. It is a fact.

+1. This is the exact truth here and anyone who denies it has a fundamental lack of understanding about human behavior and development.

Sorry to be direct (although that seems to be your MI) - but Your head is so far up your own colon, that you bring new meaning to naval gazing …

We waited until kid was a teenager and monitor content and messages she gets. You know where 99% of the alerts for inappropriate content come from? Her school work because they tackle weighty issues of war, violence and other “ills of the word “already in MS.

Your self righteous certitude is laughable. The world is a complicated place and we are all doing our best to help our kids navigate the internet. I highly doubt your methods would work for everyone.

Your rationizations for your inept parenting are sad.

Honey your delusions of parental grandeur coupled with lame come backs are way sadder …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your 11 year old have a smart phone? No phone. No app. No problem.

We did not let ours have one until 13 although most kids don’t n her grade had one earlier. They find ways to start social
Media accounts on their school Computers that even get around the school Monitoring software and on iPads which the School earlier requested we get for daily IXL … I still regret following school advice about that.

I don’t think not allowing a phone is a long term solution to helping teens to navigate social Media wisely …

This is just a parenting fail.

Hmm let’s see. Some of the most smug parents I know about how wonderful their parenting and kids are have no idea what their kids get up to online. Their kids tend to be the mean judgmental ones who alienate everyone by their self righteous know it all blanket negative judgments about people. This escalates online into nasty spats and name calling.

We held off with a phone as long as we could. We set limits and our daughter shows me everything she posts for prior approval. I also have seen what other girls in her year are posting and sometimes it is fine but often it is not.

My daughter and I trust each other. That is not a parenting fail.

Except that it is. You can trust your child but it is inappropriate to give them access to the ills of the world when they are too young to process the content. You displace the responsibility to regulate your child's behavior onto a mind that is not developmentally capable. This is not trust. It it irresponsible parenting. It's also not judgmental. It is a fact.

+1. This is the exact truth here and anyone who denies it has a fundamental lack of understanding about human behavior and development.

Sorry to be direct (although that seems to be your MI) - but Your head is so far up your own colon, that you bring new meaning to naval gazing …

We waited until kid was a teenager and monitor content and messages she gets. You know where 99% of the alerts for inappropriate content come from? Her school work because they tackle weighty issues of war, violence and other “ills of the word “already in MS.

Your self righteous certitude is laughable. The world is a complicated place and we are all doing our best to help our kids navigate the internet. I highly doubt your methods would work for everyone.

This is a pathetic outlook. You should really take a look at information regarding the developing brain. The dopamine hits along should give you pause let alone the content of the material being consumed. How have you been so peer prepared into this twisted notion?

[Anonymous]

Not all kids have TikTok. My 12 year old doesn't have a phone and is fine. My older teen still doesn't have TikTok (doesn't want it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your 11 year old have a smart phone? No phone. No app. No problem.

We did not let ours have one until 13 although most kids don’t n her grade had one earlier. They find ways to start social
Media accounts on their school Computers that even get around the school Monitoring software and on iPads which the School earlier requested we get for daily IXL … I still regret following school advice about that.

I don’t think not allowing a phone is a long term solution to helping teens to navigate social Media wisely …

This is just a parenting fail.

Hmm let’s see. Some of the most smug parents I know about how wonderful their parenting and kids are have no idea what their kids get up to online. Their kids tend to be the mean judgmental ones who alienate everyone by their self righteous know it all blanket negative judgments about people. This escalates online into nasty spats and name calling.

We held off with a phone as long as we could. We set limits and our daughter shows me everything she posts for prior approval. I also have seen what other girls in her year are posting and sometimes it is fine but often it is not.

My daughter and I trust each other. That is not a parenting fail.

Except that it is. You can trust your child but it is inappropriate to give them access to the ills of the world when they are too young to process the content. You displace the responsibility to regulate your child's behavior onto a mind that is not developmentally capable. This is not trust. It it irresponsible parenting. It's also not judgmental. It is a fact.

+1. This is the exact truth here and anyone who denies it has a fundamental lack of understanding about human behavior and development.

Sorry to be direct (although that seems to be your MI) - but Your head is so far up your own colon, that you bring new meaning to naval gazing …

We waited until kid was a teenager and monitor content and messages she gets. You know where 99% of the alerts for inappropriate content come from? Her school work because they tackle weighty issues of war, violence and other “ills of the word “already in MS.

Your self righteous certitude is laughable. The world is a complicated place and we are all doing our best to help our kids navigate the internet. I highly doubt your methods would work for everyone.

Your rationizations for your inept parenting are sad.

Honey your delusions of parental grandeur coupled with lame come backs are way sadder …

Look up rationalization. It's exactly what you are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and your daughter shouldn’t have it regardless of who else does.

This is the correct answer.

Correct. Get your 11 yo off Tik Tok and off social media.

People who think their 11 year olds don’t have accounts is fooling themselves. They all have them.

How is this possible? Iphones require parent approval for apps. I will say kids can take screens shots/videos and text them to kids who don’t have TT. And my daughter, who is not allowed to have social media, sees the occasional TT video this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your 11 year old have a smart phone? No phone. No app. No problem.

We did not let ours have one until 13 although most kids don’t n her grade had one earlier. They find ways to start social
Media accounts on their school Computers that even get around the school Monitoring software and on iPads which the School earlier requested we get for daily IXL … I still regret following school advice about that.

I don’t think not allowing a phone is a long term solution to helping teens to navigate social Media wisely …

This is just a parenting fail.

Hmm let’s see. Some of the most smug parents I know about how wonderful their parenting and kids are have no idea what their kids get up to online. Their kids tend to be the mean judgmental ones who alienate everyone by their self righteous know it all blanket negative judgments about people. This escalates online into nasty spats and name calling.

We held off with a phone as long as we could. We set limits and our daughter shows me everything she posts for prior approval. I also have seen what other girls in her year are posting and sometimes it is fine but often it is not.

My daughter and I trust each other. That is not a parenting fail.

Except that it is. You can trust your child but it is inappropriate to give them access to the ills of the world when they are too young to process the content. You displace the responsibility to regulate your child's behavior onto a mind that is not developmentally capable. This is not trust. It it irresponsible parenting. It's also not judgmental. It is a fact.

+1. This is the exact truth here and anyone who denies it has a fundamental lack of understanding about human behavior and development.

Sorry to be direct (although that seems to be your MI) - but Your head is so far up your own colon, that you bring new meaning to naval gazing …

We waited until kid was a teenager and monitor content and messages she gets. You know where 99% of the alerts for inappropriate content come from? Her school work because they tackle weighty issues of war, violence and other “ills of the word “already in MS.

Your self righteous certitude is laughable. The world is a complicated place and we are all doing our best to help our kids navigate the internet. I highly doubt your methods would work for everyone.

This is a pathetic outlook. You should really take a look at information regarding the developing brain. The dopamine hits along should give you pause let alone the content of the material being consumed. How have you been so peer prepared into this twisted notion?

Look up pathos and look in the mirror.

You seem to have trouble grasping basic content and may need to return to school yourself. We did not allow phone or social
Media until kid was teenager. We monitor our teen’s internet use and the overwhelming majority of alerts regarding inappropriate content are related to her school work. Their schools are thankfully helping them to wrestle with difficult issues.

Glad your narrow minded judgmentalism works for your family but would not work for us.

[Anonymous]

I am shocked anyone let’s their 11 yo dd have a tik tok account and I have a 15, 12 and 10 yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I followed along - through my kid - on how a friend of his is handling the business side of tictoc. She apparently is winding down now as she is going to college this Fall. She took last year off to do tictoc and because college classes were very off last year do you covid.

Anyway, she did 3 new videos a week and grossed about $600 a video. She got started her Senior year in high school. According to my kid, they are thinking that she banked enough to pay for college. And, she will have a great resume entry forever.

Congratulations to your graduate! That is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I followed along - through my kid - on how a friend of his is handling the business side of tictoc. She apparently is winding down now as she is going to college this Fall. She took last year off to do tictoc and because college classes were very off last year do you covid.

Anyway, she did 3 new videos a week and grossed about $600 a video. She got started her Senior year in high school. According to my kid, they are thinking that she banked enough to pay for college. And, she will have a great resume entry forever.

So many kids are gunning to make money -- on TikTok, Twitch, YouTube etc. --and some do. Quite a bit. But there's also a lot of kids who say they are "making bank" with it that is just about as real as the age-old 'girlfriend at another school' ploy. I like that they are entrepreneurial anyway.