DD’s friend inappropriate TikTok dances…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No and your daughter shouldn’t have it regardless of who else does.

Plus, not everyone at that age has it, as OP suggested.

Just the kids in your daughters friend group.

Might be time to 'nudge' her towards other friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and your daughter shouldn’t have it regardless of who else does.

This is the correct answer.

Correct. Get your 11 yo off Tik Tok and off social media.

People who think their 11 year olds don’t have accounts is fooling themselves. They all have them.

Okay then stop trying to micromanage your kid’s friends.

Your attitude is crazy: “I can’t stop MY kid because everyone is doing it BUT I’m going to talk to other kids parents so they can stop their kids”

You are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and your daughter shouldn’t have it regardless of who else does.

This is the correct answer.

Correct. Get your 11 yo off Tik Tok and off social media.

People who think their 11 year olds don’t have accounts is fooling themselves. They all have them.

And even if they don't have it, they are still seeing their friends' accounts at school, birthday parties, etc.

I have no disillusions that my child won’t see inappropriate content on their friends’ phones. But I sure as hell am not giving them their own smartphone which will almost certainly mean hours per day wasted on social media consuming the stuff. Big deal if they see it with friends on the bus or at sleepovers but hell no to all day every day and creating content to put out in the universe themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and your daughter shouldn’t have it regardless of who else does.

This is the correct answer.

Correct. Get your 11 yo off Tik Tok and off social media.

People who think their 11 year olds don’t have accounts is fooling themselves. They all have them.

Okay then stop trying to micromanage your kid’s friends.

Your attitude is crazy: “I can’t stop MY kid because everyone is doing it BUT I’m going to talk to other kids parents so they can stop their kids”

You are insane.

Enough with the name calling - parenting fail to role mode meanness as the norm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and your daughter shouldn’t have it regardless of who else does.

This is the correct answer.

Correct. Get your 11 yo off Tik Tok and off social media.

People who think their 11 year olds don’t have accounts is fooling themselves. They all have them.

Okay then stop trying to micromanage your kid’s friends.

Your attitude is crazy: “I can’t stop MY kid because everyone is doing it BUT I’m going to talk to other kids parents so they can stop their kids”

You are insane.

Enough with the name calling - parenting fail to role mode meanness as the norm

Plus
1. OP is monitoring her child. What gives you the right to micromanage her parenting choices? We did not allow our kid to have phone and social media at that age but some parents do. At least OP is closely monitoring what her kid does online.

2. She is not trying to micromanage her kids friends but asking whether she should warn her kids’ friends’ parents about inappropriate posts. This is not insane but thoughtful and kind.

3. There is absolutely no need for your rude name calling. Your kid will pick up on your negative self righteous demeanor and will emulate it eventually, if not already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your 11 year old have a smart phone? No phone. No app. No problem.

We did not let ours have one until 13 although most kids don’t n her grade had one earlier. They find ways to start social
Media accounts on their school Computers that even get around the school Monitoring software and on iPads which the School earlier requested we get for daily IXL … I still regret following school advice about that.

I don’t think not allowing a phone is a long term solution to helping teens to navigate social Media wisely …

This is just a parenting fail.

Hmm let’s see. Some of the most smug parents I know about how wonderful their parenting and kids are have no idea what their kids get up to online. Their kids tend to be the mean judgmental ones who alienate everyone by their self righteous know it all blanket negative judgments about people. This escalates online into nasty spats and name calling.

We held off with a phone as long as we could. We set limits and our daughter shows me everything she posts for prior approval. I also have seen what other girls in her year are posting and sometimes it is fine but often it is not.

My daughter and I trust each other. That is not a parenting fail.

Except that it is. You can trust your child but it is inappropriate to give them access to the ills of the world when they are too young to process the content. You displace the responsibility to regulate your child's behavior onto a mind that is not developmentally capable. This is not trust. It it irresponsible parenting. It's also not judgmental. It is a fact.

[Anonymous]

OP take your kid off that app.

Do not call the other parent.

You should concentrate on your own kid. Please get parenting help. Yours in not good.

1. Kid not old enough your fault
2. You are a ridiculous prude and will cause harm to your kid with your absurd thoughts
3. Sign up for parenting classes you are responsible for your child, and clearly failing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We monitor our 11 year old’s DD’s TikTok account - yes, I’m that mom but started after she was watching insane diet tips… and for others who may point out, yes the recommended age is 13 for TikTok - but nearly all the kids have it.

Anyway, many of the dances the kids do and the music is mildly inappropriate - but 11 year olds wiggling their butts and knowing some curse words. It’s disturbing to watch at some level but mostly whatever and kids just dancing around. And the kids accounts are nearly all private so visible only among their friend groups.

But one of the latest trends seems to be lowering yourself down to a deep squat and the opening and closing your legs … And one of the girls has posted this. And it is just so inappropriate and soft porn looking. Do I tell the mom?

Yes you’re that mom who allowed her 11 yo old to have Tik Tok and then pats herself on the back for checking the account. And then clutches her pearls about ANOTHER child’s video?

+1

That is par for the course. Now you are concerned, then get her off TikTok. She is simply too young. For you to even cop the “everyone has it” is just as naive. Step up and be a parent to your own kid first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your 11 year old have a smart phone? No phone. No app. No problem.

We did not let ours have one until 13 although most kids don’t n her grade had one earlier. They find ways to start social
Media accounts on their school Computers that even get around the school Monitoring software and on iPads which the School earlier requested we get for daily IXL … I still regret following school advice about that.

I don’t think not allowing a phone is a long term solution to helping teens to navigate social Media wisely …

This is just a parenting fail.

Hmm let’s see. Some of the most smug parents I know about how wonderful their parenting and kids are have no idea what their kids get up to online. Their kids tend to be the mean judgmental ones who alienate everyone by their self righteous know it all blanket negative judgments about people. This escalates online into nasty spats and name calling.

We held off with a phone as long as we could. We set limits and our daughter shows me everything she posts for prior approval. I also have seen what other girls in her year are posting and sometimes it is fine but often it is not.

My daughter and I trust each other. That is not a parenting fail.

Except that it is. You can trust your child but it is inappropriate to give them access to the ills of the world when they are too young to process the content. You displace the responsibility to regulate your child's behavior onto a mind that is not developmentally capable. This is not trust. It it irresponsible parenting. It's also not judgmental. It is a fact.

+1. This is the exact truth here and anyone who denies it has a fundamental lack of understanding about human behavior and development.

[Anonymous]

Truth is that whether or not or kids have their own accounts, they will likely see and possibly post or be in a video/chat/photo where inappropriate stuff is going on.

Parents can't monitor everything. I would hope that those that come across inappropriate material would kindly and humbly and blamelessly let the other families know. I would want someone to pay me this courtesy as part of a community raising kids together.

[Anonymous]

I followed along - through my kid - on how a friend of his is handling the business side of tictoc. She apparently is winding down now as she is going to college this Fall. She took last year off to do tictoc and because college classes were very off last year do you covid.

Anyway, she did 3 new videos a week and grossed about $600 a video. She got started her Senior year in high school. According to my kid, they are thinking that she banked enough to pay for college. And, she will have a great resume entry forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I followed along - through my kid - on how a friend of his is handling the business side of tictoc. She apparently is winding down now as she is going to college this Fall. She took last year off to do tictoc and because college classes were very off last year do you covid.

Anyway, she did 3 new videos a week and grossed about $600 a video. She got started her Senior year in high school. According to my kid, they are thinking that she banked enough to pay for college. And, she will have a great resume entry forever.

Wait, people get paid for tik tok videos?

Am I really that out of touch?

I thought it was just sharing silly dances with your friends?

[Anonymous]

“WAIT UNTIL 8th” PEOPLE!!

DS has an iwatch- I’m so glad I dont have to deal with this crap yet.

[Anonymous]

I saw my 12 year old doing this dance by herself in the living room, and I told her to stop because that was a stripper dance and not appropriate. She had seen other girls do it at sleepaway camp during a dance party and also most likely on social media. She didn't seem to realize that it was an inappropriate dance. The lines are definitely blurred these days with cheerleaders and celebrities performing these kinds of modified lap dances.

[Anonymous]

Unless I am close friends with the parent and she has specifically asked me to let her know I hear of anything inappropriate I would not share it.

When to share with a parent:

-Child is reporting to friends wanting to kill herself or engaging in serious and obvious self-harm... cutting, vomiting food on purpose, using laxatives to lose weight,

-Child is engaging in risk taking that could kill them any day. Walking to school out neighbor's son literally ran into ongoing traffic daily because he enjoyed the thrill of dodging cars and getting honked at. They were grateful we told them. he is a daredevil who will skateboard without a helmet down steep hills and they are afraid to ever let him drive.