DD’s friend inappropriate TikTok dances…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I followed along - through my kid - on how a friend of his is handling the business side of tictoc. She apparently is winding down now as she is going to college this Fall. She took last year off to do tictoc and because college classes were very off last year do you covid.

Anyway, she did 3 new videos a week and grossed about $600 a video. She got started her Senior year in high school. According to my kid, they are thinking that she banked enough to pay for college. And, she will have a great resume entry forever.

So many kids are gunning to make money -- on TikTok, Twitch, YouTube etc. --and some do. Quite a bit. But there's also a lot of kids who say they are "making bank" with it that is just about as real as the age-old 'girlfriend at another school' ploy. I like that they are entrepreneurial anyway.

+1. There are influencers across all platforms making money and doing brand deals. There are way, way more wannabe influencers talking themselves up and buying followers to try and look cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I followed along - through my kid - on how a friend of his is handling the business side of tictoc. She apparently is winding down now as she is going to college this Fall. She took last year off to do tictoc and because college classes were very off last year do you covid.

Anyway, she did 3 new videos a week and grossed about $600 a video. She got started her Senior year in high school. According to my kid, they are thinking that she banked enough to pay for college. And, she will have a great resume entry forever.

So many kids are gunning to make money -- on TikTok, Twitch, YouTube etc. --and some do. Quite a bit. But there's also a lot of kids who say they are "making bank" with it that is just about as real as the age-old 'girlfriend at another school' ploy. I like that they are entrepreneurial anyway.

+1. There are influencers across all platforms making money and doing brand deals. There are way, way more wannabe influencers talking themselves up and buying followers to try and look cool.

Haha I have an acquaintance who does this on Instagram. He has 20k “followers” and around 50 likes on every picture. Awkward…

[Anonymous]

I like how these threads always boil down to the shitty parents trying to make themselves feel better by asserting that all kids misbehave just as badly as theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like how these threads always boil down to the shitty parents trying to make themselves feel better by asserting that all kids misbehave just as badly as theirs.

Nah I get the opposite feeling - deluded parents who think they and their kids are perfect while anyone who handles complex problems differently to them are “pathetic” or “idiots” or “shitty” [sic].

In my experience, these holier than thou parents raise unimaginative and mean kids …. And the “I’m perfect and you’re an idiot” parents need help with more creative insults …

[Anonymous]

Lol. You all know that your kid can sign into their accounts on other people’s phones and iPads?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. You all know that your kid can sign into their accounts on other people’s phones and iPads?

Okay. Fine. At least make them work for it instead of just handing them the keys to the Ferrari…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like how these threads always boil down to the shitty parents trying to make themselves feel better by asserting that all kids misbehave just as badly as theirs.

Nah I get the opposite feeling - deluded parents who think they and their kids are perfect while anyone who handles complex problems differently to them are “pathetic” or “idiots” or “shitty” [sic].

In my experience, these holier than thou parents raise unimaginative and mean kids …. And the “I’m perfect and you’re an idiot” parents need help with more creative insults …

What I get is parents sick to death of having the same conversation about phones, instagram, tik tok and other social media over and over again, and with parents who have the same excuse, “well all their friends have it” or “they’ll see it anyway. Like stop with the lame excuses. Kids see people drive that doesn’t mean we give them keys to a car at 11. Kids know about sex(or should) by then also, but you’re condoning it for your kid nor are you getting them condoms and birth control yet. If your kids friends were doing heroine would you still have the same excuse? The reality is experts from Pediatrics, Psychology, and even Technology have said repeatedly that these things are not designed for kids and shouldn’t be used by kids. Not to mention, parents and teachers who-are already in the trenches warn folks of the dangers and drama associated. Social media companies have created Terms and Conditions that explicitly say older than 13 or for some an adult 18yrs or older to protect them from liability. Yet still some parents keep acting like what’s the harm or there is no problem and then want to be all shocked when they see first hand the concern.

Kids will see and experience a variety of things, good and bad, with their friends and in life. Thats part of growing up. However, that doesn’t mean you as a parent have to provide ready access to it all. And you certainly don’t have to condone it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like how these threads always boil down to the shitty parents trying to make themselves feel better by asserting that all kids misbehave just as badly as theirs.

Nah I get the opposite feeling - deluded parents who think they and their kids are perfect while anyone who handles complex problems differently to them are “pathetic” or “idiots” or “shitty” [sic].

In my experience, these holier than thou parents raise unimaginative and mean kids …. And the “I’m perfect and you’re an idiot” parents need help with more creative insults …

What I get is parents sick to death of having the same conversation about phones, instagram, tik tok and other social media over and over again, and with parents who have the same excuse, “well all their friends have it” or “they’ll see it anyway. Like stop with the lame excuses. Kids see people drive that doesn’t mean we give them keys to a car at 11. Kids know about sex(or should) by then also, but you’re condoning it for your kid nor are you getting them condoms and birth control yet. If your kids friends were doing heroine would you still have the same excuse? The reality is experts from Pediatrics, Psychology, and even Technology have said repeatedly that these things are not designed for kids and shouldn’t be used by kids. Not to mention, parents and teachers who-are already in the trenches warn folks of the dangers and drama associated. Social media companies have created Terms and Conditions that explicitly say older than 13 or for some an adult 18yrs or older to protect them from liability. Yet still some parents keep acting like what’s the harm or there is no problem and then want to be all shocked when they see first hand the concern.

Kids will see and experience a variety of things, good and bad, with their friends and in life. Thats part of growing up. However, that doesn’t mean you as a parent have to provide ready access to it all. And you certainly don’t have to condone it all.

Again you seem to have problems grasping basic content … the primitive stereotyping of bad and good parents is silly.

Again, we held off on phone and social media until our kid was a teen and then the pandemic threw a spanner in the works. We monitor internet use and 99% of the inappropriate content alerts are related to school work - yes that’s right - school work, not porn sites. Real life is complicated and schools are trying to gently help our children to process some harsh realities. Our teen is forbidden from posting vulgar or mean content on social media. I check her camera roll and social media frequently.

No one wants their kids online all day. The pandemic meant our kids spent way more time online then anyone would like but I am grateful our kids are alive unlike many around the world who have died due to COVID. In person school starts next week, and no one is happier than me about my teen and others (hopefully) developing real life social skills again, playing sports and performing music with others again.

OP seems like a good parent and caring person to me, and your harsh judgments on her post were unnecessary. None of us are perfect and we are all doing our best to cope during a very trying extended period of many losses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We monitor our 11 year old’s DD’s TikTok account - yes, I’m that mom but started after she was watching insane diet tips… and for others who may point out, yes the recommended age is 13 for TikTok - but nearly all the kids have it.

Anyway, many of the dances the kids do and the music is mildly inappropriate - but 11 year olds wiggling their butts and knowing some curse words. It’s disturbing to watch at some level but mostly whatever and kids just dancing around. And the kids accounts are nearly all private so visible only among their friend groups.

But one of the latest trends seems to be lowering yourself down to a deep squat and the opening and closing your legs … And one of the girls has posted this. And it is just so inappropriate and soft porn looking. Do I tell the mom?

I am pretty sure you rolled around the floor singing Like a Virgin when you were 9 and you turned out okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We monitor our 11 year old’s DD’s TikTok account - yes, I’m that mom but started after she was watching insane diet tips… and for others who may point out, yes the recommended age is 13 for TikTok - but nearly all the kids have it.

Anyway, many of the dances the kids do and the music is mildly inappropriate - but 11 year olds wiggling their butts and knowing some curse words. It’s disturbing to watch at some level but mostly whatever and kids just dancing around. And the kids accounts are nearly all private so visible only among their friend groups.

But one of the latest trends seems to be lowering yourself down to a deep squat and the opening and closing your legs … And one of the girls has posted this. And it is just so inappropriate and soft porn looking. Do I tell the mom?

I am pretty sure you rolled around the floor singing Like a Virgin when you were 9 and you turned out okay.

And I totally sang and danced to all the songs from Grease in elementary school, having little clue what they meant really. BUT these are not captured on video that others are watching. Hence social media as a multiplier effect.

[Anonymous]

i don't have kids that young; my daughter is 16 and my son is 21. But, the best you can really do is keep communication lines open in a non-judgmental way. The things my daughter tells me her "perfect angels" friends are doing behind their delusional parents' backs are really alarming. They are also none of my business and any attempt on my part to inform the parents would likely be taken with denial and hostility on the parts of both parent and teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i don't have kids that young; my daughter is 16 and my son is 21. But, the best you can really do is keep communication lines open in a non-judgmental way. The things my daughter tells me her "perfect angels" friends are doing behind their delusional parents' backs are really alarming. They are also none of my business and any attempt on my part to inform the parents would likely be taken with denial and hostility on the parts of both parent and teen.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We monitor our 11 year old’s DD’s TikTok account - yes, I’m that mom but started after she was watching insane diet tips… and for others who may point out, yes the recommended age is 13 for TikTok - but nearly all the kids have it.

Anyway, many of the dances the kids do and the music is mildly inappropriate - but 11 year olds wiggling their butts and knowing some curse words. It’s disturbing to watch at some level but mostly whatever and kids just dancing around. And the kids accounts are nearly all private so visible only among their friend groups.

But one of the latest trends seems to be lowering yourself down to a deep squat and the opening and closing your legs … And one of the girls has posted this. And it is just so inappropriate and soft porn looking. Do I tell the mom?

We saw a friend's early teens tik tok and it was a hot mess. Like HOT. MESS. Of drugs, promiscuity, you name it. Dh mentioned it to the other mom and she brushed it off. Totally aware of it not going to stop it. I thought it was bizarre but maybe we're the bad parents for being too overprotective. 🤔

[Anonymous]

I would be careful about characterizing these dances as softcore or stripper dances. My kid's friends practice dancehall moves they learn from their older sisters-it's a legitimate cultural form that requires a lot of strength and precision. Personally, I don't want my child shaking it on camera, but I wouldn't insult the dance or the dancers.

[Anonymous]

I am fine with these dances.

What I am more worried about is what is going on in colleges. DD is a sophomore at a good college and she knows many who are earning more than $1000 per week from these videos. Not just TikTok.