How long to keep your kids in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a big MYOB

Also, you are contradicting yourself. You say you don't think there's anything going on and in the same post say there's other issues that require their own post. What are the other issues?

I don’t think there is anything sexual going on, but it is my opinion that other family dynamics would warrant sleeping separately from parents.

Well do you think that when you come in with your declaration that you do not approve of this family’s bedroom arrangements, anything is going to change? Do you somehow feel like it’s up to you??

I’m sure nothing will change. And no it’s not up to me. And I don’t want it to be.

I’m asking for an opinion and I got attacked. Wow. Why so aggressive.

Because you’re being a busybody.

Thanks for putting me to my place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised the topic of co-sleeping comes up amongst people because it’s not he norm. Those that co-sleep often had kids who wouldn’t/couldn’t sleep by themselves. My feeling is who cares because it doesn’t effect me. I would be curious if this couple ever goes out at night. Is the babysitter supposed to hop in bed with young Larla? Next will come the sleepover invitations….

I think it’s the norm more than people think it is. We co-sleep but don’t discuss it because of people like OP. It started as purely survival as we drew the kid who never sleeps card, but as she’s gotten older, it still works for our family. I listen to many of our non cosleeping friends who are run ragged with wake ups and the like, and nope, despite the poor sleeper card, I’m well rested while they are spread thin and spending forever with wake ups for whatever reason. I’ve since been surprised when many other friends mention they cosleep. Many are from different cultures and from that standpoint, it’s not that surprising, but also helps reiterate that it’s a choice many families make. It’s just not discussed.

We have a life. We go out, but rarely, because it’s not our thing, and wasn’t before DD was even born. It has nothing to do with how we sleep.

I don’t mean to judge. I’m actually inside of me not judging. I think we as parents have a duty to protect our children. When I actually first learned about parental abuse I have been shocked and in disbelief for years. I eventually had to believe it. I’ve thought alot about how to protect children, and why we see the rates of abuse we see.

I inherently believe in true relationships, but life tells us all that ugly stuff happens. If you re saying thaff ty you’ve never heard or thought of these things you’re totally lying.

At some point enough is enough. Even if no intentional abuse is happening, sleeping with parents when too old creates a host of emotional codependency issues.

I was giving blatant reasons why it could be wrong. Why are you surprised from those examples?

When is this age when enough is enough?

Normally developing 8 year olds should not have sleep issues. You can call me anything you like. I don’t care much. No matter how much you’re hating on me, my words will remain with you, even if out of disdain. Eventually you’ll reconsider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: but life tells us all that ugly stuff happens. If you re saying thaff ty you’ve never heard or thought of these things you’re totally lying.

Here's the thing, if someone is co-sleeping so they have access to their kid for abuse, that's not a co-sleeping issue. There are plenty of people who take advantage of the fact that a kid sleeps alone, to have privacy to let them abuse the kid.

Yes, abuse is awful, but the fact that I co-slept didn't increase my kid's risk for abuse, because I am not an abuser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: but life tells us all that ugly stuff happens. If you re saying thaff ty you’ve never heard or thought of these things you’re totally lying.

Here's the thing, if someone is co-sleeping so they have access to their kid for abuse, that's not a co-sleeping issue. There are plenty of people who take advantage of the fact that a kid sleeps alone, to have privacy to let them abuse the kid.

Yes, abuse is awful, but the fact that I co-slept didn't increase my kid's risk for abuse, because I am not an abuser.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to quote you for the entire reply. What I was telling you is that I’m not judging.

I continued to everyone else saying the rest. Yes. You are correct. People can find a lot of ways to abuse. You slept with your child until he was 6, not 16.

At some point everyone needs his/her own bed. When do you (not you specifically, but the forceful repliers) think that is the point?

I think at some point it’s emotionally unbalanced at a minimum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: but life tells us all that ugly stuff happens. If you re saying thaff ty you’ve never heard or thought of these things you’re totally lying.

Here's the thing, if someone is co-sleeping so they have access to their kid for abuse, that's not a co-sleeping issue. There are plenty of people who take advantage of the fact that a kid sleeps alone, to have privacy to let them abuse the kid.

Yes, abuse is awful, but the fact that I co-slept didn't increase my kid's risk for abuse, because I am not an abuser.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to quote you for the entire reply. What I was telling you is that I’m not judging.

I continued to everyone else saying the rest. Yes. You are correct. People can find a lot of ways to abuse. You slept with your child until he was 6, not 16.

At some point everyone needs his/her own bed. When do you (not you specifically, but the forceful repliers) think that is the point?

I think at some point it’s emotionally unbalanced at a minimum.

Kids usually ask to sleep in their own room when they don’t want to cosleep anymore.

[Anonymous]

Usually the parents are really into it if it goes on that long. I slept with mine at that age if they were sick and I wanted to keep an eye on them. Otherwise, they slept in their room with their sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t need therapy for this. This is how I see it. It doesn’t tell anything about me other than I don’t think it’s ok.

Anyway, I just wanted an opinion on whether people think it’s ok or not. I’m entitled to my opinion, and I hope you know the saying ‘see something, say something’.

You do need therapy. Many families co-sleep and you haven't seen anything. You don't have to think it's ok. Not your kids so MYOB. I was 14 when I got my period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all the people who see nothing wrong with a co-sleeping 8 year old, is there an age at which you would draw the line and say the child needs their own bed?

You ain’t getting an answer on this one.

No answer is required, because how other parents raise their children is none of her business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a big MYOB

Also, you are contradicting yourself. You say you don't think there's anything going on and in the same post say there's other issues that require their own post. What are the other issues?

I don’t think there is anything sexual going on, but it is my opinion that other family dynamics would warrant sleeping separately from parents.

Well do you think that when you come in with your declaration that you do not approve of this family’s bedroom arrangements, anything is going to change? Do you somehow feel like it’s up to you??

I’m sure nothing will change. And no it’s not up to me. And I don’t want it to be.

I’m asking for an opinion and I got attacked. Wow. Why so aggressive.

Oh, look. The gaslghting busybody. How very predictable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised the topic of co-sleeping comes up amongst people because it’s not he norm. Those that co-sleep often had kids who wouldn’t/couldn’t sleep by themselves. My feeling is who cares because it doesn’t effect me. I would be curious if this couple ever goes out at night. Is the babysitter supposed to hop in bed with young Larla? Next will come the sleepover invitations….

I think it’s the norm more than people think it is. We co-sleep but don’t discuss it because of people like OP. It started as purely survival as we drew the kid who never sleeps card, but as she’s gotten older, it still works for our family. I listen to many of our non cosleeping friends who are run ragged with wake ups and the like, and nope, despite the poor sleeper card, I’m well rested while they are spread thin and spending forever with wake ups for whatever reason. I’ve since been surprised when many other friends mention they cosleep. Many are from different cultures and from that standpoint, it’s not that surprising, but also helps reiterate that it’s a choice many families make. It’s just not discussed.

We have a life. We go out, but rarely, because it’s not our thing, and wasn’t before DD was even born. It has nothing to do with how we sleep.

I don’t mean to judge. I’m actually inside of me not judging. I think we as parents have a duty to protect our children. When I actually first learned about parental abuse I have been shocked and in disbelief for years. I eventually had to believe it. I’ve thought alot about how to protect children, and why we see the rates of abuse we see.

I inherently believe in true relationships, but life tells us all that ugly stuff happens. If you re saying thaff ty you’ve never heard or thought of these things you’re totally lying.

At some point enough is enough. Even if no intentional abuse is happening, sleeping with parents when too old creates a host of emotional codependency issues.

I was giving blatant reasons why it could be wrong. Why are you surprised from those examples?

When is this age when enough is enough?

Normally developing 8 year olds should not have sleep issues. You can call me anything you like. I don’t care much. No matter how much you’re hating on me, my words will remain with you, even if out of disdain. Eventually you’ll reconsider.

HAHAHA. Now we know you're a troll. Good try, OP. Now get a life and stop begging for attention on the internet.

[Anonymous]

I slept with my mom until 7th grade because I was scared. Even now as an adult, I feel safer sleeping with somebody else in the bed. My mom and I were not particularly close when I was younger nor are we now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: but life tells us all that ugly stuff happens. If you re saying thaff ty you’ve never heard or thought of these things you’re totally lying.

Here's the thing, if someone is co-sleeping so they have access to their kid for abuse, that's not a co-sleeping issue. There are plenty of people who take advantage of the fact that a kid sleeps alone, to have privacy to let them abuse the kid.

Yes, abuse is awful, but the fact that I co-slept didn't increase my kid's risk for abuse, because I am not an abuser.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to quote you for the entire reply. What I was telling you is that I’m not judging.

I continued to everyone else saying the rest. Yes. You are correct. People can find a lot of ways to abuse. You slept with your child until he was 6, not 16.

At some point everyone needs his/her own bed. When do you (not you specifically, but the forceful repliers) think that is the point?

I think at some point it’s emotionally unbalanced at a minimum.

OP *absolutely no one in this thread who advocates co sleeping is saying their child should never get their own bed*. The age where a child does get their own bed differs for every family, but I’m going to tell you that most cosleeping kids have their own bed from pretty much birth, it’s just the the family bed is where they sleep.

Let me flip your script and tell you about me, a happily cosleeping parent to a 4 year old. I was horrifically sexually abused until the age of 10, starting at about 3. Co-sleeping probably would have saved me because it would have meant two parents in the bed I was in, instead of me being in a room all by myself down the hall where no one could really hear me unless I came to them.

Now, that’s not the reason we coslwep, but it also kind of debunks your abuse theory, doesn’t it?

The way you keep tying a bed to “marital duties” and family CSA, plus codependency makes me really think you actually would benefit from working this out with a professional.

I’m not blaming CIO or how many of my generation was raised, but most codependents I know are chasing a loving, secure relationship that they never had. Most of my friends grew up in the CIO (although I trust it want called that then, it just was what you did), daycare/ latchkey era, combined detached parenting while parents were … well, doing whatever it was that 80s and 90s parents did, which was not often helping their child sleep, build a careeer portfolio, or even homework; and if you’re not of this age group, let me tell you that there is more than enough codependency to go around. Raised super independent, chasing connection through all kinds of means these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all the people who see nothing wrong with a co-sleeping 8 year old, is there an age at which you would draw the line and say the child needs their own bed?

You ain’t getting an answer on this one.

No answer is required, because how other parents raise their children is none of her business.

Then get off the thread and myob.

[Anonymous]

The people who co-sleep that long, I’ve observed, have really messed up marriages. They don’t prioritize that relationship and it shows. I know it’s something people have done in other cultures and for millennia. But for 21st century US parents I think it always spells trouble. But, OP- don’t say anything! It’s their choicr, not yours

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people who co-sleep that long, I’ve observed, have really messed up marriages. They don’t prioritize that relationship and it shows. I know it’s something people have done in other cultures and for millennia. But for 21st century US parents I think it always spells trouble. But, OP- don’t say anything! It’s their choicr, not yours

The dumbest comment yet. Now you're relationship expert?