How long to keep your kids in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At this point I think that posters like you are intentionally ignoring what I’m saying. You’re telling me that you can sleep with your father or brothers any time. You don’t do it every night. It’s not a sleeping arrangement. I have no problem with my kids sleeping where I have sex. I don’t like having potential spectators next to me when I’m doing it. But that’s me. I guess some people like it.

It’s pointless to keep talking about this I guess. I’m talking about a healthy way to do it. I think my kids deserve their own space to develop into. I do occasionally sleep with my kids, if they really beg. I never tell them to. If they need that support I give it to them.

We’re not animals, and while we have self control we also put other controls in place.

You have to remember that for the vast vast majority of the human kind, when we see children, sex is farthest from our minds.

You on the other hand seems more closer to a pedophile in your thoughts. That is why you have a problem.

???

[Anonymous]

MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry for all the pps who had to live with abuse. I also want to apologize if I brought back memories.

my post was about regular circumstances, not situations where there is a clear and tangible benefit to the child. I was thinking about a developmental appropriate separation. I remember certain things from childhood, such as you can’t sit on your uncle’s lap when you’re all boobs and butt, even when he’s your favorite uncle. No one ever put it to me that way, but when I think back I realize that the adults around kept me safe (luckily) and I wasn’t even aware of it.

Emotional dependency happens to kids, and they need to break free. Parents need to help with that. Some kids need a little push. I think in the case I was talking about it’s serving the parents, especially the father (not in a sexual way) and I still think it’s not appropriate. I’m not saying that the father has sinister intentions, but I don’t think anyone grows up saying “I’m gonna abuse my kids when I grow up.” We as adults need to model good behavior and healthy attachment/detachment.

You’re entitled to your opinion. But I disagree with all of this. You also don’t get to decide what’s good/bad behavior ans what appropriate attachment is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry for all the pps who had to live with abuse. I also want to apologize if I brought back memories.

my post was about regular circumstances, not situations where there is a clear and tangible benefit to the child. I was thinking about a developmental appropriate separation. I remember certain things from childhood, such as you can’t sit on your uncle’s lap when you’re all boobs and butt, even when he’s your favorite uncle. No one ever put it to me that way, but when I think back I realize that the adults around kept me safe (luckily) and I wasn’t even aware of it.

Emotional dependency happens to kids, and they need to break free. Parents need to help with that. Some kids need a little push. I think in the case I was talking about it’s serving the parents, especially the father (not in a sexual way) and I still think it’s not appropriate. I’m not saying that the father has sinister intentions, but I don’t think anyone grows up saying “I’m gonna abuse my kids when I grow up.” We as adults need to model good behavior and healthy attachment/detachment.

You’re entitled to your opinion. But I disagree with all of this. You also don’t get to decide what’s good/bad behavior ans what appropriate attachment is.

I’m entitled to my opinion but I can’t decide.

And you can decide what I can and can not do.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple I know co sleeps with both DDs. The oldest is 8, the youngest is 2.

I know it’s none of my business, but when the conversation comes up I have a really hard time not saying anything. I don’t think it’s normal, and I feel like I must say something, but I’m afraid to do so, because I don’t think anything wrong is happening, other than general bad practice. And I don’t want a fight to start with this people.

Do you think this is ok?

Would you say something?

We've never let our kids in our bed and I think people who do are nuts (and those who do and then complain about it are the worst) but I have NEVER felt like I must say something about it. Not my monkeys, not my circus. Leave it alone, OP. You have no place in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think once kids hit puberty, and start learning about their bodies, they should not sleep in the same bed with their parents on a regular basis. (OP)

Oh yeah? What about with their siblings?

Should every kid who hits puberty have their own bed?

Go see a therapist OP. You need one.

Is this a real question?

If you are OP, yes it is.

Hi didn’t know it was common practice for siblings to share a bed, but most people would agree, that once boys and girls hit puberty they sleep separately. You ever been to sleep away camp? They separate the sexes for a reason. I didn’t come up with these ‘rules’. Society as a whole did. The same way they said gay marriage was ok.

Wow, OP, you have fallen off your rocker here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I know kids love sleeping with their parents. I know there doesn’t have to be anything wrong with it. We occasionally, especially in hotels, do it. The kids love it. I barely get any sleep, but it’s worth making them happy.

I’m not saying there is anything going on. I have no reason to believe there is. There are other dynamics that make me think this is not good. I can’t explain all of them, because they need a thread of their own.

Quality of sleep is definitely an issue.

I do know it’s none of my business, but it just feels wrong.

I think YOU should talk to YOUR therapist about why it "just feels wrong." It says more about you than it does about them.

The majority of adults do not share their beds with 8 year olds, or 2 year olds, much less BOTH. It's unequivocally weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I know kids love sleeping with their parents. I know there doesn’t have to be anything wrong with it. We occasionally, especially in hotels, do it. The kids love it. I barely get any sleep, but it’s worth making them happy.

I’m not saying there is anything going on. I have no reason to believe there is. There are other dynamics that make me think this is not good. I can’t explain all of them, because they need a thread of their own.

Quality of sleep is definitely an issue.

I do know it’s none of my business, but it just feels wrong.

I think YOU should talk to YOUR therapist about why it "just feels wrong." It says more about you than it does about them.

The majority of adults do not share their beds with 8 year olds, or 2 year olds, much less BOTH. It's unequivocally weird.

I assume this is solidly grounded in data!

What you mean is that the 20-30 families you know do not do this. You can safely extrapolate this to USA. But you know shit about the rest of the world. USA makes up less than 5% of the population. You know rats ass about the other 95%.

You know even less about how humans have lived since the dawn of time.

It is clear you do not have basic math skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I know kids love sleeping with their parents. I know there doesn’t have to be anything wrong with it. We occasionally, especially in hotels, do it. The kids love it. I barely get any sleep, but it’s worth making them happy.

I’m not saying there is anything going on. I have no reason to believe there is. There are other dynamics that make me think this is not good. I can’t explain all of them, because they need a thread of their own.

Quality of sleep is definitely an issue.

I do know it’s none of my business, but it just feels wrong.

I think YOU should talk to YOUR therapist about why it "just feels wrong." It says more about you than it does about them.

The majority of adults do not share their beds with 8 year olds, or 2 year olds, much less BOTH. It's unequivocally weird.

I assume this is solidly grounded in data!

What you mean is that the 20-30 families you know do not do this. You can safely extrapolate this to USA. But you know shit about the rest of the world. USA makes up less than 5% of the population. You know rats ass about the other 95%.

You know even less about how humans have lived since the dawn of time.

It is clear you do not have basic math skills.

And it’s clear that you’re a troll.