What is your best advice for kids heading off to college this fall?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

Wow, you're so cool.

No, just a member of the normal majority who doesn't take things so seriously. As is my now college graduated and highly successful and happy kid who jokingly dodged her professor.

How wonderful for your child! Congratulations on their successful completion of college. You do realize, though, that there are many successful and happy people who found mentors and even friends among their professors, right? So there are different approaches to college and to life in general. I guess one of those ways is to be snarky about people who choose a different mode than you do.

I never said mine didn't. They did, in fact. But college isn't for making "friends" with professors. And college isn't about dispensing with a sense of humor either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

Wow, you're so cool. [/quo]

No, just a member of the normal majority who doesn't take things so seriously. As is my now college graduated and highly successful and happy kid who jokingly dodged her professor.

How wonderful for your child! Congratulations on their successful completion of college. You do realize, though, that there are many successful and happy people who found mentors and even friends among their professors, right? So there are different approaches to college and to life in general. I guess one of those ways is to be snarky about people who choose a different mode than you do.

I never said mine didn't. They did, in fact. But college isn't for making "friends" with professors. And college isn't about dispensing with a sense of humor either.

It actually is if you want to go for a phD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The difference between the kids who fail out and the kids who do fine in their grades is mainly based on whether you show up for class, turn in your work, and study for the tests. Pretty much anyone who got into your school can do fine there, but what makes the difference between good and bad grades is mostly whether you have the self discipline required to do these simple things. My DS was amazed how many people simply did not manage to turn in a paper on time or just didn't even make a real effort in the classes and, as a result, made bad grades.

I failed out of my college. I’d never tried harder in my life at school. I just couldn’t do it.

Maybe you had mental health challenges or an undiagnosed LD/ADHD? I don't mean this to be rude. Some kids do very well in school with undiagnosed learning challenges until the demands increase to a certain level. It can have nothing to do with their intelligence, in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

If you think that is funny, I think I know your type. And I avoid people like you (and your kid).

As I said, lighten up. It's funny.

You've probably observed by now that nobody on this thread thinks you are funny except you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of what I wrote to DC, who graduated from college several years ago. DC later told me that they re-read the note periodically.
:::

As you start your life at school, think through the sweep of human history and try to guess how many people were given this opportunity. Acknowledge to yourself just how rare and special this gift is. Take advantage of this amazing opportunity you have.

Find a Constant: Find something to hold on to, something you can carry with you throughout college as you encounter all these new things. It might be running, playing your instrument, or something else entirely. Regardless of what your constant is, you should practice making it as routine as brushing your teeth. It will give you stability when everything else is changing.

Get Out There. Everyone will want to meet you and there will be none of the social awkwardness that usually accompanies rushing up and speaking to total strangers. Everyone is a total stranger. Do not squander this short window of opportunity - it will never come around again. Join clubs and groups. The earlier you meet people and find a place to belong, the sooner you will enjoy school.

Show Up: Go to every single class and sit in the front. Get help early and often when you need it. Group work, study sessions and other academic collaborations are the norm in college. Get into study groups early in the year, before the midterm rush.

Be Present: Look people in the eye. Offer a firm handshake. Show up on time. Help out. Be present. Pay attention to those around you. Never again will life mix youth, freedom, opportunity and resources together in quite this heady combination. If these are to be the very best years, you must make them so.

OMG PP. I'm the OP and you made me cry. This is wonderful.

Remember "Freaks and Geeks" the TV show? This sounds exactly like something the parents would say to their kids in that show and the kids would roll their eyes. Do any of you really and truly remember what it was like to be young and going off to college? You might think I sound like an a$$, but c'mon now. "Go to every single class and sit in the front?" Seriously? Go to class, sure, but keep your head down and listen and it doesn't matter where you sit -- and you won't get labeled the class gunner or nerd. The rest of what's written here is largely self-evident to any kid who's already been raised right.

PP who wrote this here. I've never seen Freaks and Geeks, so no, I'm not familiar with those parents.

People who are "young and going off to college" are not all the same, and my DC was appreciative of my note.

I don't "think you sound like an a$$," I *know* you *are* an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The difference between the kids who fail out and the kids who do fine in their grades is mainly based on whether you show up for class, turn in your work, and study for the tests. Pretty much anyone who got into your school can do fine there, but what makes the difference between good and bad grades is mostly whether you have the self discipline required to do these simple things. My DS was amazed how many people simply did not manage to turn in a paper on time or just didn't even make a real effort in the classes and, as a result, made bad grades.

I failed out of my college. I’d never tried harder in my life at school. I just couldn’t do it.

Maybe you had mental health challenges or an undiagnosed LD/ADHD? I don't mean this to be rude. Some kids do very well in school with undiagnosed learning challenges until the demands increase to a certain level. It can have nothing to do with their intelligence, in general.

Most kids fail out of college, nationally speaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

If you think that is funny, I think I know your type. And I avoid people like you (and your kid).

As I said, lighten up. It's funny.

You've probably observed by now that nobody on this thread thinks you are funny except you.

If none of you thinks that when walking on campus with a kid who you know is doing perfectly fine and is happy in college and who, upon seeing a professor she knows, jokes about avoiding contact with professors by hiding behind a pillar and laughing isn't funny then I don't know what to say. Except, maybe, that you are humorless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of what I wrote to DC, who graduated from college several years ago. DC later told me that they re-read the note periodically.
:::

As you start your life at school, think through the sweep of human history and try to guess how many people were given this opportunity. Acknowledge to yourself just how rare and special this gift is. Take advantage of this amazing opportunity you have.

Find a Constant: Find something to hold on to, something you can carry with you throughout college as you encounter all these new things. It might be running, playing your instrument, or something else entirely. Regardless of what your constant is, you should practice making it as routine as brushing your teeth. It will give you stability when everything else is changing.

Get Out There. Everyone will want to meet you and there will be none of the social awkwardness that usually accompanies rushing up and speaking to total strangers. Everyone is a total stranger. Do not squander this short window of opportunity - it will never come around again. Join clubs and groups. The earlier you meet people and find a place to belong, the sooner you will enjoy school.

Show Up: Go to every single class and sit in the front. Get help early and often when you need it. Group work, study sessions and other academic collaborations are the norm in college. Get into study groups early in the year, before the midterm rush.

Be Present: Look people in the eye. Offer a firm handshake. Show up on time. Help out. Be present. Pay attention to those around you. Never again will life mix youth, freedom, opportunity and resources together in quite this heady combination. If these are to be the very best years, you must make them so.

OMG PP. I'm the OP and you made me cry. This is wonderful.

Remember "Freaks and Geeks" the TV show? This sounds exactly like something the parents would say to their kids in that show and the kids would roll their eyes. Do any of you really and truly remember what it was like to be young and going off to college? You might think I sound like an a$$, but c'mon now. "Go to every single class and sit in the front?" Seriously? Go to class, sure, but keep your head down and listen and it doesn't matter where you sit -- and you won't get labeled the class gunner or nerd. The rest of what's written here is largely self-evident to any kid who's already been raised right.

PP who wrote this here. I've never seen Freaks and Geeks, so no, I'm not familiar with those parents.

People who are "young and going off to college" are not all the same, and my DC was appreciative of my note.

I don't "think you sound like an a$$," I *know* you *are* an ass.

You've never seen Freaks and Geeks? Binge watch it once you send your kid off and have more time on your hands. It's only one season. It's the best!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of what I wrote to DC, who graduated from college several years ago. DC later told me that they re-read the note periodically.
:::

As you start your life at school, think through the sweep of human history and try to guess how many people were given this opportunity. Acknowledge to yourself just how rare and special this gift is. Take advantage of this amazing opportunity you have.

Find a Constant: Find something to hold on to, something you can carry with you throughout college as you encounter all these new things. It might be running, playing your instrument, or something else entirely. Regardless of what your constant is, you should practice making it as routine as brushing your teeth. It will give you stability when everything else is changing.

Get Out There. Everyone will want to meet you and there will be none of the social awkwardness that usually accompanies rushing up and speaking to total strangers. Everyone is a total stranger. Do not squander this short window of opportunity - it will never come around again. Join clubs and groups. The earlier you meet people and find a place to belong, the sooner you will enjoy school.

Show Up: Go to every single class and sit in the front. Get help early and often when you need it. Group work, study sessions and other academic collaborations are the norm in college. Get into study groups early in the year, before the midterm rush.

Be Present: Look people in the eye. Offer a firm handshake. Show up on time. Help out. Be present. Pay attention to those around you. Never again will life mix youth, freedom, opportunity and resources together in quite this heady combination. If these are to be the very best years, you must make them so.

OMG PP. I'm the OP and you made me cry. This is wonderful.

Remember "Freaks and Geeks" the TV show? This sounds exactly like something the parents would say to their kids in that show and the kids would roll their eyes. Do any of you really and truly remember what it was like to be young and going off to college? You might think I sound like an a$$, but c'mon now. "Go to every single class and sit in the front?" Seriously? Go to class, sure, but keep your head down and listen and it doesn't matter where you sit -- and you won't get labeled the class gunner or nerd. The rest of what's written here is largely self-evident to any kid who's already been raised right.

PP who wrote this here. I've never seen Freaks and Geeks, so no, I'm not familiar with those parents.

People who are "young and going off to college" are not all the same, and my DC was appreciative of my note.

I don't "think you sound like an a$$," I *know* you *are* an ass.

You've never seen Freaks and Geeks? Binge watch it once you send your kid off and have more time on your hands. It's only one season. It's the best!

I've been an empty nester for several years now.

No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of what I wrote to DC, who graduated from college several years ago. DC later told me that they re-read the note periodically.
:::

As you start your life at school, think through the sweep of human history and try to guess how many people were given this opportunity. Acknowledge to yourself just how rare and special this gift is. Take advantage of this amazing opportunity you have.

Find a Constant: Find something to hold on to, something you can carry with you throughout college as you encounter all these new things. It might be running, playing your instrument, or something else entirely. Regardless of what your constant is, you should practice making it as routine as brushing your teeth. It will give you stability when everything else is changing.

Get Out There. Everyone will want to meet you and there will be none of the social awkwardness that usually accompanies rushing up and speaking to total strangers. Everyone is a total stranger. Do not squander this short window of opportunity - it will never come around again. Join clubs and groups. The earlier you meet people and find a place to belong, the sooner you will enjoy school.

Show Up: Go to every single class and sit in the front. Get help early and often when you need it. Group work, study sessions and other academic collaborations are the norm in college. Get into study groups early in the year, before the midterm rush.

Be Present: Look people in the eye. Offer a firm handshake. Show up on time. Help out. Be present. Pay attention to those around you. Never again will life mix youth, freedom, opportunity and resources together in quite this heady combination. If these are to be the very best years, you must make them so.

OMG PP. I'm the OP and you made me cry. This is wonderful.

Remember "Freaks and Geeks" the TV show? This sounds exactly like something the parents would say to their kids in that show and the kids would roll their eyes. Do any of you really and truly remember what it was like to be young and going off to college? You might think I sound like an a$$, but c'mon now. "Go to every single class and sit in the front?" Seriously? Go to class, sure, but keep your head down and listen and it doesn't matter where you sit -- and you won't get labeled the class gunner or nerd. The rest of what's written here is largely self-evident to any kid who's already been raised right.

PP who wrote this here. I've never seen Freaks and Geeks, so no, I'm not familiar with those parents.

People who are "young and going off to college" are not all the same, and my DC was appreciative of my note.

I don't "think you sound like an a$$," I *know* you *are* an ass.

You've never seen Freaks and Geeks? Binge watch it once you send your kid off and have more time on your hands. It's only one season. It's the best!

I've been an empty nester for several years now.

No thanks.

New poster. It actually is a really great show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

If you think that is funny, I think I know your type. And I avoid people like you (and your kid).

As I said, lighten up. It's funny.

You've probably observed by now that nobody on this thread thinks you are funny except you.

If none of you thinks that when walking on campus with a kid who you know is doing perfectly fine and is happy in college and who, upon seeing a professor she knows, jokes about avoiding contact with professors by hiding behind a pillar and laughing isn't funny then I don't know what to say. Except, maybe, that you are humorless.

It might have been funny when your kid said it to you, but it wasn't so funny when you said it as a way of putting people down. Do you even get that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

If you think that is funny, I think I know your type. And I avoid people like you (and your kid).

As I said, lighten up. It's funny.

You've probably observed by now that nobody on this thread thinks you are funny except you.

If none of you thinks that when walking on campus with a kid who you know is doing perfectly fine and is happy in college and who, upon seeing a professor she knows, jokes about avoiding contact with professors by hiding behind a pillar and laughing isn't funny then I don't know what to say. Except, maybe, that you are humorless.

It might have been funny when your kid said it to you, but it wasn't so funny when you said it as a way of putting people down. Do you even get that?

The PP is pathetic because he/she keeps coming back here to prove he/she is funny. It is actually quite sad that this person is so obsessed.

[Anonymous]

Re the "lighten up, people" poster -- you know, OP's original question included a request for advice for parents, so "Lighten up" poster could have just said something like "I don't think kids are really into getting advice when you move them in; just be open to hearing from them when they need help." That's kind of what s/he said at one point in trying to justify/defend the "lighten up" post. That would have gone over fine without being obnoxious and cooler-than-thou. I don't know, maybe "Lighten up's" mom should have offered some advice way back when "lighten up" went to college: "You can disagree agreeably with people."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re the "lighten up, people" poster -- you know, OP's original question included a request for advice for parents, so "Lighten up" poster could have just said something like "I don't think kids are really into getting advice when you move them in; just be open to hearing from them when they need help." That's kind of what s/he said at one point in trying to justify/defend the "lighten up" post. That would have gone over fine without being obnoxious and cooler-than-thou. I don't know, maybe "Lighten up's" mom should have offered some advice way back when "lighten up" went to college: "You can disagree agreeably with people."

“Lighten up” poster here. Whatever. Just watch Freaks & Geeks. It’s high quality stuff - even for empty nesters!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re the "lighten up, people" poster -- you know, OP's original question included a request for advice for parents, so "Lighten up" poster could have just said something like "I don't think kids are really into getting advice when you move them in; just be open to hearing from them when they need help." That's kind of what s/he said at one point in trying to justify/defend the "lighten up" post. That would have gone over fine without being obnoxious and cooler-than-thou. I don't know, maybe "Lighten up's" mom should have offered some advice way back when "lighten up" went to college: "You can disagree agreeably with people."

“Lighten up” poster here. Whatever. Just watch Freaks & Geeks. It’s high quality stuff - even for empty nesters!

Back again? Lighten Up should be renamed Get a Life.