What is your best advice for kids heading off to college this fall?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

Yes -- absolutely. Also, when you choose classes, ask upper-classmen/women about the classes they found most interesting and teachers they found most effective and helpful.

And, friends are important. I'm 30 years out from college and those friendships have been mainstays in my life through some difficult times. My oldest kids are recent college grads, and I already see how much their college friends mean to them. Take time to be a friend.

Set time aside for exercise and sleep.

Finally, birth control is essential.

Either your age is showing, or your nerdiness, or both.

Ha -- I'll gladly cop to both of those (note that I mentioned I graduated 30 years ago). How about you -- will you cop to your ageism and general nastiness? How does it make you feel? Do you need to be gratuitously mean to make yourself feel better? There are other ways to do that, you know.

I'm older than you, actually. The suggestions that new students make friends and also get advice from upperclassmen on what classes to take just struck me funny, that's all. If your college-aged kid really needs to be told either of those things they'e really in a heap of trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

If you think that is funny, I think I know your type. And I avoid people like you (and your kid).

As I said, lighten up. It's funny.

[Anonymous]

This is part of what I wrote to DC, who graduated from college several years ago. DC later told me that they re-read the note periodically.
:::

As you start your life at school, think through the sweep of human history and try to guess how many people were given this opportunity. Acknowledge to yourself just how rare and special this gift is. Take advantage of this amazing opportunity you have.

Find a Constant: Find something to hold on to, something you can carry with you throughout college as you encounter all these new things. It might be running, playing your instrument, or something else entirely. Regardless of what your constant is, you should practice making it as routine as brushing your teeth. It will give you stability when everything else is changing.

Get Out There. Everyone will want to meet you and there will be none of the social awkwardness that usually accompanies rushing up and speaking to total strangers. Everyone is a total stranger. Do not squander this short window of opportunity - it will never come around again. Join clubs and groups. The earlier you meet people and find a place to belong, the sooner you will enjoy school.

Show Up: Go to every single class and sit in the front. Get help early and often when you need it. Group work, study sessions and other academic collaborations are the norm in college. Get into study groups early in the year, before the midterm rush.

Be Present: Look people in the eye. Offer a firm handshake. Show up on time. Help out. Be present. Pay attention to those around you. Never again will life mix youth, freedom, opportunity and resources together in quite this heady combination. If these are to be the very best years, you must make them so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is part of what I wrote to DC, who graduated from college several years ago. DC later told me that they re-read the note periodically.
:::

As you start your life at school, think through the sweep of human history and try to guess how many people were given this opportunity. Acknowledge to yourself just how rare and special this gift is. Take advantage of this amazing opportunity you have.

Find a Constant: Find something to hold on to, something you can carry with you throughout college as you encounter all these new things. It might be running, playing your instrument, or something else entirely. Regardless of what your constant is, you should practice making it as routine as brushing your teeth. It will give you stability when everything else is changing.

Get Out There. Everyone will want to meet you and there will be none of the social awkwardness that usually accompanies rushing up and speaking to total strangers. Everyone is a total stranger. Do not squander this short window of opportunity - it will never come around again. Join clubs and groups. The earlier you meet people and find a place to belong, the sooner you will enjoy school.

Show Up: Go to every single class and sit in the front. Get help early and often when you need it. Group work, study sessions and other academic collaborations are the norm in college. Get into study groups early in the year, before the midterm rush.

Be Present: Look people in the eye. Offer a firm handshake. Show up on time. Help out. Be present. Pay attention to those around you. Never again will life mix youth, freedom, opportunity and resources together in quite this heady combination. If these are to be the very best years, you must make them so.

OMG PP. I'm the OP and you made me cry. This is wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Take advantage of your school's resources: be that the Writing Center or the Career Center. Join clubs to feel part of the community. Go to office hours, so you form relationships with faculty members. You will likely need recommendations from them at some point.

Some kids are shy about using all that their tuition affords them. It is not a sign of weakness, it is being a smart consumer.

[Anonymous]

Keep actively trying make new friends even after you’ve made as many as you think you want. It gets a lot harder to meet people after the first year or two and several of your friends will go abroad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

Wow, you're so cool.

No, just a member of the normal majority who doesn't take things so seriously. As is my now college graduated and highly successful and happy kid who jokingly dodged her professor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of what I wrote to DC, who graduated from college several years ago. DC later told me that they re-read the note periodically.
:::

As you start your life at school, think through the sweep of human history and try to guess how many people were given this opportunity. Acknowledge to yourself just how rare and special this gift is. Take advantage of this amazing opportunity you have.

Find a Constant: Find something to hold on to, something you can carry with you throughout college as you encounter all these new things. It might be running, playing your instrument, or something else entirely. Regardless of what your constant is, you should practice making it as routine as brushing your teeth. It will give you stability when everything else is changing.

Get Out There. Everyone will want to meet you and there will be none of the social awkwardness that usually accompanies rushing up and speaking to total strangers. Everyone is a total stranger. Do not squander this short window of opportunity - it will never come around again. Join clubs and groups. The earlier you meet people and find a place to belong, the sooner you will enjoy school.

Show Up: Go to every single class and sit in the front. Get help early and often when you need it. Group work, study sessions and other academic collaborations are the norm in college. Get into study groups early in the year, before the midterm rush.

Be Present: Look people in the eye. Offer a firm handshake. Show up on time. Help out. Be present. Pay attention to those around you. Never again will life mix youth, freedom, opportunity and resources together in quite this heady combination. If these are to be the very best years, you must make them so.

OMG PP. I'm the OP and you made me cry. This is wonderful.

Remember "Freaks and Geeks" the TV show? This sounds exactly like something the parents would say to their kids in that show and the kids would roll their eyes. Do any of you really and truly remember what it was like to be young and going off to college? You might think I sound like an a$$, but c'mon now. "Go to every single class and sit in the front?" Seriously? Go to class, sure, but keep your head down and listen and it doesn't matter where you sit -- and you won't get labeled the class gunner or nerd. The rest of what's written here is largely self-evident to any kid who's already been raised right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

Yes -- absolutely. Also, when you choose classes, ask upper-classmen/women about the classes they found most interesting and teachers they found most effective and helpful.

And, friends are important. I'm 30 years out from college and those friendships have been mainstays in my life through some difficult times. My oldest kids are recent college grads, and I already see how much their college friends mean to them. Take time to be a friend.

Set time aside for exercise and sleep.

Finally, birth control is essential.

Either your age is showing, or your nerdiness, or both.

Ha -- I'll gladly cop to both of those (note that I mentioned I graduated 30 years ago). How about you -- will you cop to your ageism and general nastiness? How does it make you feel? Do you need to be gratuitously mean to make yourself feel better? There are other ways to do that, you know.

I'm older than you, actually. The suggestions that new students make friends and also get advice from upperclassmen on what classes to take just struck me funny, that's all. If your college-aged kid really needs to be told either of those things they'e really in a heap of trouble.

Interesting that you're older, and, yet, so mean-spirited. That certainly blows the theory that maturity and life experience can help us become more generous. Anyway, I understand that my advice here was not mind-blowing at all, but at a time like leaving home for college, a parent might have an opportunity to say something that sticks with a kid in a way that hearing the same advice at another juncture might not. My sense is that much of the advice proffered here is in that vein. BTW, what advice would you have for your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of what I wrote to DC, who graduated from college several years ago. DC later told me that they re-read the note periodically.
:::

As you start your life at school, think through the sweep of human history and try to guess how many people were given this opportunity. Acknowledge to yourself just how rare and special this gift is. Take advantage of this amazing opportunity you have.

Find a Constant: Find something to hold on to, something you can carry with you throughout college as you encounter all these new things. It might be running, playing your instrument, or something else entirely. Regardless of what your constant is, you should practice making it as routine as brushing your teeth. It will give you stability when everything else is changing.

Get Out There. Everyone will want to meet you and there will be none of the social awkwardness that usually accompanies rushing up and speaking to total strangers. Everyone is a total stranger. Do not squander this short window of opportunity - it will never come around again. Join clubs and groups. The earlier you meet people and find a place to belong, the sooner you will enjoy school.

Show Up: Go to every single class and sit in the front. Get help early and often when you need it. Group work, study sessions and other academic collaborations are the norm in college. Get into study groups early in the year, before the midterm rush.

Be Present: Look people in the eye. Offer a firm handshake. Show up on time. Help out. Be present. Pay attention to those around you. Never again will life mix youth, freedom, opportunity and resources together in quite this heady combination. If these are to be the very best years, you must make them so.

OMG PP. I'm the OP and you made me cry. This is wonderful.

Remember "Freaks and Geeks" the TV show? This sounds exactly like something the parents would say to their kids in that show and the kids would roll their eyes. Do any of you really and truly remember what it was like to be young and going off to college? You might think I sound like an a$$, but c'mon now. "Go to every single class and sit in the front?" Seriously? Go to class, sure, but keep your head down and listen and it doesn't matter where you sit -- and you won't get labeled the class gunner or nerd. The rest of what's written here is largely self-evident to any kid who's already been raised right.

I thought it was great advice. I don't have any personal experience to draw from starting college after having been largely isolated due a pandemic for more than a year, so I think having a written reminder of these goals is very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

I don't know anyone who has ever gone to a professor's office for any reason, ever -- except maybe to ask for a recommendation. I never did and I graduated summa cum laude. None of my kids ever did either.

Not true for my DS who is in a top 20. He has meet with his professors for various reasons, one of which was to challenge how one of the questions on his exam was graded. He actually got points back based on his explanation of how he approached a particular math problem.

My biggest advice is to learn to advocate for yourself and don't be afraid to ask questions. Find a professor you can connect with who can act as a mentor. These are things I wish I had done.

LOL my kids went to top 20s also. That's not the determining factor.

I still remember walking around campus with my oldest when she saw one of her professors and said "this is my idea of contact with professors" and quickly darted behind a pillar of a building to hide. We had a good laugh.

Lighten up, people.

Wow, you're so cool.

No, just a member of the normal majority who doesn't take things so seriously. As is my now college graduated and highly successful and happy kid who jokingly dodged her professor.

How wonderful for your child! Congratulations on their successful completion of college. You do realize, though, that there are many successful and happy people who found mentors and even friends among their professors, right? So there are different approaches to college and to life in general. I guess one of those ways is to be snarky about people who choose a different mode than you do.

[Anonymous]

Nothing good happens after 2am.
Invest in building relationships with faculty.
Make a plan and work ahead / don’t procrastinate. You’ll actually have more time for fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

Yes -- absolutely. Also, when you choose classes, ask upper-classmen/women about the classes they found most interesting and teachers they found most effective and helpful.

And, friends are important. I'm 30 years out from college and those friendships have been mainstays in my life through some difficult times. My oldest kids are recent college grads, and I already see how much their college friends mean to them. Take time to be a friend.

Set time aside for exercise and sleep.

Finally, birth control is essential.

Either your age is showing, or your nerdiness, or both.

Ha -- I'll gladly cop to both of those (note that I mentioned I graduated 30 years ago). How about you -- will you cop to your ageism and general nastiness? How does it make you feel? Do you need to be gratuitously mean to make yourself feel better? There are other ways to do that, you know.

I'm older than you, actually. The suggestions that new students make friends and also get advice from upperclassmen on what classes to take just struck me funny, that's all. If your college-aged kid really needs to be told either of those things they'e really in a heap of trouble.

Interesting that you're older, and, yet, so mean-spirited. That certainly blows the theory that maturity and life experience can help us become more generous. Anyway, I understand that my advice here was not mind-blowing at all, but at a time like leaving home for college, a parent might have an opportunity to say something that sticks with a kid in a way that hearing the same advice at another juncture might not. My sense is that much of the advice proffered here is in that vein. BTW, what advice would you have for your child?

We sent off 4. We had no unsolicited advice for any of them. They were young adults who had done well enough in high school to get into top colleges and didn't need us to tell them they needed to see their professors during office houses, make friends, be on birth control or get advice from classmates at course selection time. We knew they were ready to roll and that they'd call when they needed us -- which, from time to time, they did. We certianly saw no need to leave them written essays on how to conduct themselves.

When we dropped our oldest off we hid our tears until she couldn't see them -- and comforted our youngest, who was more upset to see her go than we were. From there we learned pretty quickly that none of this is a big deal. Life goes on, you talk and text, they come home a lot and still drive you crazy at times and in the end nothing's all that different. There was no drama whatsoever on anyone's end when it came to dropping off numbers 2 to 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

Yes -- absolutely. Also, when you choose classes, ask upper-classmen/women about the classes they found most interesting and teachers they found most effective and helpful.

And, friends are important. I'm 30 years out from college and those friendships have been mainstays in my life through some difficult times. My oldest kids are recent college grads, and I already see how much their college friends mean to them. Take time to be a friend.

Set time aside for exercise and sleep.

Finally, birth control is essential.

Either your age is showing, or your nerdiness, or both.

Ha -- I'll gladly cop to both of those (note that I mentioned I graduated 30 years ago). How about you -- will you cop to your ageism and general nastiness? How does it make you feel? Do you need to be gratuitously mean to make yourself feel better? There are other ways to do that, you know.

I'm older than you, actually. The suggestions that new students make friends and also get advice from upperclassmen on what classes to take just struck me funny, that's all. If your college-aged kid really needs to be told either of those things they'e really in a heap of trouble.

Interesting that you're older, and, yet, so mean-spirited. That certainly blows the theory that maturity and life experience can help us become more generous. Anyway, I understand that my advice here was not mind-blowing at all, but at a time like leaving home for college, a parent might have an opportunity to say something that sticks with a kid in a way that hearing the same advice at another juncture might not. My sense is that much of the advice proffered here is in that vein. BTW, what advice would you have for your child?

We sent off 4. We had no unsolicited advice for any of them. They were young adults who had done well enough in high school to get into top colleges and didn't need us to tell them they needed to see their professors during office houses, make friends, be on birth control or get advice from classmates at course selection time. We knew they were ready to roll and that they'd call when they needed us -- which, from time to time, they did. We certianly saw no need to leave them written essays on how to conduct themselves.

When we dropped our oldest off we hid our tears until she couldn't see them -- and comforted our youngest, who was more upset to see her go than we were. From there we learned pretty quickly that none of this is a big deal. Life goes on, you talk and text, they come home a lot and still drive you crazy at times and in the end nothing's all that different. There was no drama whatsoever on anyone's end when it came to dropping off numbers 2 to 4.

So glad you had perfect offspring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn what office hours are. Believe it or not, going to a prof's office is not punishment and doesn't mean you are in trouble.

Yes -- absolutely. Also, when you choose classes, ask upper-classmen/women about the classes they found most interesting and teachers they found most effective and helpful.

And, friends are important. I'm 30 years out from college and those friendships have been mainstays in my life through some difficult times. My oldest kids are recent college grads, and I already see how much their college friends mean to them. Take time to be a friend.

Set time aside for exercise and sleep.

Finally, birth control is essential.

Either your age is showing, or your nerdiness, or both.

Ha -- I'll gladly cop to both of those (note that I mentioned I graduated 30 years ago). How about you -- will you cop to your ageism and general nastiness? How does it make you feel? Do you need to be gratuitously mean to make yourself feel better? There are other ways to do that, you know.

I'm older than you, actually. The suggestions that new students make friends and also get advice from upperclassmen on what classes to take just struck me funny, that's all. If your college-aged kid really needs to be told either of those things they'e really in a heap of trouble.

Interesting that you're older, and, yet, so mean-spirited. That certainly blows the theory that maturity and life experience can help us become more generous. Anyway, I understand that my advice here was not mind-blowing at all, but at a time like leaving home for college, a parent might have an opportunity to say something that sticks with a kid in a way that hearing the same advice at another juncture might not. My sense is that much of the advice proffered here is in that vein. BTW, what advice would you have for your child?

We sent off 4. We had no unsolicited advice for any of them. They were young adults who had done well enough in high school to get into top colleges and didn't need us to tell them they needed to see their professors during office houses, make friends, be on birth control or get advice from classmates at course selection time. We knew they were ready to roll and that they'd call when they needed us -- which, from time to time, they did. We certianly saw no need to leave them written essays on how to conduct themselves.

When we dropped our oldest off we hid our tears until she couldn't see them -- and comforted our youngest, who was more upset to see her go than we were. From there we learned pretty quickly that none of this is a big deal. Life goes on, you talk and text, they come home a lot and still drive you crazy at times and in the end nothing's all that different. There was no drama whatsoever on anyone's end when it came to dropping off numbers 2 to 4.

Huh. So none of them did part of their junior year and all of their senior year from their bedrooms? Many of these kids missed out on important high school experiences so this advice is helpful.