What is your best advice for kids heading off to college this fall?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another prof here: I will pass along that I have had to turn down students who have asked for references or recommendations, particularly when they neither participated in class nor came to office hours. When you don't really know the student beyond their performance on assignments or exams, it's impossible to write an assessment with the level of detail that some grad programs or employers want.

IMO, it's the average student who really benefits by using office hours.

Office hours. I think that might have changed the trajectory of my life.


After community college where I wasn't going to office hours much (because who does that), I transferred to a SLAC where the folks in my department already had 2 years of relationship-building with professors that I had to catch up on. So I went until the professors got to know me, and one, in particular, took me under their wing. I was offered a job in the department that helped pay for my tuition, and I was encouraged/pushed/supported to go to graduate school. I would not have considered graduate school at all and might have ended up in a low-paying job field that I wasn't interested in just because I needed the money. I started off as an average student who didn't stand out at all. My professors would not have known that I was a hard-working person until they asked to see my notes and how much I studied. I was provided opportunities that resulted in me graduating with honors. Wish I had seen what the recommendation letter looked like but surely it helped get me a full scholarship + stipend for grad school. I'm in my 50s now and still think about how my life would have taken a different route without that support from my professors.

+1. Couldn't agree more on the benefits of using office hours. BTW, I tell my kids that this skill will be useful at work as well. This is how networking starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smart ladies do not allow themselves to become inebriated in public places. Drinking in your dorm with a group of female friends is far safer than doing so in a bar.

This is so sad. How about the parents of boys teach them just to NOT RAPE WOMEN??

Much better.

[Anonymous]

If you are a parent of a boy who you are sending off the college.

Tell them to:

1) not rape women

2) not use Andrew Cuomo as his role model - sexual harassment is NOT OKAY

3) more often than not, keep his penis in your pants.

[Anonymous]

Get laid alot you only live once

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get laid alot you only live once

Teach your son that A LOT is TWO words!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get laid alot you only live once

Teach your son that A LOT is TWO words!

and teach him not to rape women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get laid alot you only live once

Teach your son that A LOT is TWO words!

[Anonymous]

Brush your teeth
Wear deodorant
Don’t get fat
Shower
Eat veggies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart ladies do not allow themselves to become inebriated in public places. Drinking in your dorm with a group of female friends is far safer than doing so in a bar.

This is so sad. How about the parents of boys teach them just to NOT RAPE WOMEN??

Much better.

Okay saying you shouldn’t drinking in a bar with female friends is absurd. But I think it’s fine to tell women about the correlation between alcohol and sexual assault. I found it really eye opening that men, especially younger men, think that women are being much more flirtatious and open to sex when they (the men) are inebriated. But I will also DD that no matter how much they drink or who they drink with or what they wear, it is never their fault. I am going to encourage my daughter to read Chanel Miller’s book, since Miller does such a good job explaining why it is so crazy that we ever blame the victim. And perhaps even more importantly, I am going to teach my son the correlation between alcohol and sexual assault to. HE should never have sex when he has been drinking because it might make it difficult to accurately gage if others are consenting. And he should never assume that anybody is asking for it on the basis of clothing, or anything really but verbal consent. Verbal consent is not a mood killer but even if it is, better to risk killing the mood than to make unwanted sexual advances!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart ladies do not allow themselves to become inebriated in public places. Drinking in your dorm with a group of female friends is far safer than doing so in a bar.

This is so sad. How about the parents of boys teach them just to NOT RAPE WOMEN??

Much better.

I’d love that, but until then I’ll take pp’s advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart ladies do not allow themselves to become inebriated in public places. Drinking in your dorm with a group of female friends is far safer than doing so in a bar.

This is so sad. How about the parents of boys teach them just to NOT RAPE WOMEN??

Much better.

I’d love that, but until then I’ll take pp’s advice.

Yes that is reality that women need to augment their behavior because men haven't been taught not to rape.

If you have a son, please teach him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the college professor PP who said go to office hours. Let me clarify: build a relationship with your professor that is not based on complaining or demanding. Go early in the term for guidance and to continue learning outside the classroom. If you have a serious concern about how your work was graded, you can also approach them about that, but don't be that a*hole whom the professor only hears from in angry consumer mode. It's not a good look.

If you make time to have some one-on-one chats with professors in your first-year courses, you will end up having more advocates who can advise you on your major and study abroad and grad school and the like, and ultimately write you good references. You don't need to go constantly or and you don't need to brownnose. Think about scheduling a visit after your first paper comes back, or when you're first planning your term paper, or at any point where you feel like the material is getting ahead of you.

PS: I am/was a shy person and definitely hid behind pillars, back in the day. But I also went to a tiny college where my profs knew me really well anyway. And the expectations have changed.

Np. My dd was a freshman last year and went to office hours all the time. She is at a small school where it is encouraged but she is the type who always has a lot of questions but she actually switched majors bc she enjoyed meeting with one of her professors so much (not drastic - both within humanities). It’s great that so many of you and your kids can do the work without asking questions or getting additional clarification. But some students need that. If your students do (like mine), they should absolutely reach out.