Sleeping with a relative..

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Third cousin is fine, I have no idea who my third (or same generation second) cousins are.

But… how do you know you’re cousins?

[Anonymous]

Assuming you aren't the creepy poster who appears to get off on relationships between family members ...

I think it's very telling that you posted this in the Family forum.

That alone should tell you the answer should be hell no.


I think you are both in a weird place being newly single and desparate..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - 3rd cousin

I couldn't even tell you who my third cousin was

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In some cultures, there’s no distinction between first, second, third cousins. In other cultures, people not only can’t name their third cousins, but can’t even explain how third cousins are related. If you and your third cousin both feel comfortable having a romantic relationship, then it’s fine, but that would be the worst if you came onto him and he was like, “We’re related! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

I am from this culture. Until seeing that chart a pp posted, I had no idea what a second or third cousin even was. I think knowing I was related by blood to someone would kill any potential romantic feeling.
OP, in theory a third cousin seems very distant. Life is short. Go seek happiness.

[Anonymous]

I think you should probably talk this out with a therapist first. Nowhere in your post does it indicate you cousin feels the same way.

Also if you already have children this is a no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - 3rd cousin

Go for it!

The Queen of England married her 3rd cousin. Prince Phillip.

And there have been no issues in that family, whatsoever, so feel free to use them as role models.

LOL

[Anonymous]

I'm impressed with how many people know their third cousins. I don't know the names of my great grandparents much less the names of their cousin's children.

I think you're distantly enough related that it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - 3rd cousin

That barely even registers as related to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - 3rd cousin

Go for it!

The Queen of England married her 3rd cousin. Prince Phillip.

And there have been no issues in that family, whatsoever, so feel free to use them as role models.

LOL

+1

Yeah, the Habsburg branch of their family was totally fine! And Alexei Romanov and all the other family members who suffered from the "royal disease" of hemophilia were totally fine, too! Queen Elizabeth's family, which includes all the royal households of Europe, is a great example of how incest is A-OK.

[Anonymous]

These examples (Hapsburgs, for example), repeatedly married close relatives, including uncles/nieces, over many generations. There is no comparison to OP potentially dating a third cousin. In the past, most people in small towns would have had trouble avoiding marriage with a third cousin. Many of the kids in my 90 person high school graduating class in a small town in Virginia were 4th cousins or closer.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on how your family would view it. Nobody else would really have a clue what your familial tie is.

Personally, I wouldn't do it, largely because my family has treated 3rd cousins as actual cousins, which would give it more of a first degree cousin feel.

[Anonymous]

Third cousin twice removed? Heck, if you are in your 40’s you probably slept with one of those along the way and didn’t know it.

[Anonymous]

Third cousins are not related at all. I don’t know any of mine and the family is so big, I probably have come in contact with many.

But I am from an immigrant family where it is common to have arranged marriages between first cousins so my perception is different. This isn’t happening with current generations in the US but there are plenty in my family history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister started dating a guy and when my mom heard his last name, she asked what his parents' names were. Turns out our grandma was his grandpa's cousin (no clue what that makes them). It was on my dad's side of the family and we never knew any of the extended family on his side. They were freaked out and broke up, but ended up getting back together for a little while. They broke up later but not because of that. I thought it was funny because I liked teasing her about dating her cousin, but honestly, I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

They were third cousins, since they had a common great grandparent.

No, they don't. PP's great grandparent and that guy's great grandparent were siblings--because their grandparents were cousins. It makes PP's sister and the guy "3rd cousins twice removed" according to that chart.

NP. I don't know how you're getting that. When your grandparents are first cousins to each other, that makes you third cousins-- including according to that chart.

You are your own grandparent's first cousin's "third cousin twice removed." But you and that person's grandchild are just third cousins. I know, it's confusing...

But basically the "removeds" come in when you are not of the same family generation.

The easiest way to think of this without a chart is that if:

-Your parents are siblings, you are first cousins
-Your grandparents are siblings, you are second cousins
-Your great-grandparents are siblings, you are third cousins
-And so on

The removeds come in when your grandparent was the sibling to someone else's GREAT-grandparent, and so on-- not the same generation.

Let me think of a fictional family with lots of generations here...

Okay, I hope someone used to watch the old Roseanne.

First cousins: DJ and Andy (Jackie's kid). Easy.

Second cousins: I don't remember if Bev (Jackie and Roseanne's mom) had siblings that were much-discussed, but let's say Bev had a sibling who also had a child and a grandchild.

DJ and that grandchild would be second cousins to each other, because that grandchild's parent would be Roseanne's first cousin.

Third cousins: If Nana Mary (Roseanne's grandmother) had a sibling named Joe, then Joe's great-grandkid would be DJ's third cousin.

It can sometimes be extra confusing when people of the "same generation" (familially) are much older or younger....

For ex, my DH comes from a big family. His mom was the 6th of 7 kids. So his brother is actually younger than their oldest first cousin's kid. Brother Larlo is younger than his cousin Larlita's son Ringo. He's a first cousin once removed, but kind of like an "uncle," yet he is actually younger than his "nephew."

When you get into many generations and age gaps, it's very easy to be the same age as someone whose plain old grandparent was your GREAT-GREAT-grandparent's sibling or something, making you a couple "removeds".

I know it's nutty, but I love this stuff.

Different cultures treat this very differently, where on one extreme, some are even okay with straight up uncle-niece marriages, and on the other hand, in some cultures even 4th cousins or whatever are verboten to you, because they're all "aunties/uncles/cousins" which are considered too close.

[Anonymous]

Anyway, I don't think I really know my third cousins, but my kid does have contact with one! My grandfather's brother's great-grandchild. Pretty cool. I do know most of my parents' first cousins and their kids (my second cousins), though.