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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister started dating a guy and when my mom heard his last name, she asked what his parents' names were. Turns out[b] our grandma was his grandpa's cousin [/b](no clue what that makes them). It was on my dad's side of the family and we never knew any of the extended family on his side. They were freaked out and broke up, but ended up getting back together for a little while. They broke up later but not because of that. I thought it was funny because I liked teasing her about dating her cousin, but honestly, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. [/quote]
They were third cousins, since they had a common great grandparent. [/quote]

No, they don't.   PP's great grandparent and that guy's great grandparent were siblings--because [b]their grandparents were cousins.  It makes PP's sister and the guy "3rd cousins twice removed"  according to that chart.[/b][/quote]

NP. I don't know how you're getting that. When your grandparents are first cousins to each other, that makes you third cousins-- including according to that chart.

You are your own grandparent's first cousin's "third cousin twice removed." But you and that person's grandchild are just third cousins. I know, it's confusing...

But basically the "removeds" come in when you are not of the same family generation.

[b]The easiest way to think of this without a chart is that if:

-Your parents are siblings, you are first cousins
-Your grandparents are siblings, you are second cousins
-Your great-grandparents are siblings, you are third cousins
-And so on[/b]

The removeds come in when your grandparent was the sibling to someone else's GREAT-grandparent, and so on-- not the same generation.

Let me think of a fictional family with lots of generations here...

Okay, I hope someone used to watch the old Roseanne.

First cousins: DJ and Andy (Jackie's kid). Easy.

Second cousins: I don't remember if Bev (Jackie and Roseanne's mom) had siblings that were much-discussed, but let's say Bev had a sibling who also had a child and a grandchild.

DJ and that grandchild would be second cousins to each other, because that grandchild's parent would be Roseanne's first cousin.

Third cousins: If Nana Mary (Roseanne's grandmother) had a sibling named Joe, then Joe's great-grandkid would be DJ's third cousin.

It can sometimes be extra confusing when people of the "same generation" (familially) are much older or younger....

For ex, my DH comes from a big family. His mom was the 6th of 7 kids. So his brother is actually younger than their oldest first cousin's kid. Brother Larlo is younger than his cousin Larlita's son Ringo. He's a first cousin once removed, but kind of like an "uncle," yet he is actually younger than his "nephew."

When you get into many generations and age gaps, it's very easy to be the same age as someone whose plain old grandparent was your GREAT-GREAT-grandparent's sibling or something, making you a couple "removeds".

I know it's nutty, but I love this stuff.

Different cultures treat this very differently, where on one extreme, some are even okay with straight up uncle-niece marriages, and on the other hand, in some cultures even 4th cousins or whatever are verboten to you, because they're all "aunties/uncles/cousins" which are considered too close.   [/quote]

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