DH driving me nuts--memory issue? ADHD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does your age gap come up in conversation more than maybe once? And everyone knows your age gap? That is super weird. I mean, no man in the planet would give this any thought.

We have been together for nearly a quarter of a century. It comes up. That's not weird.

[Anonymous]

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[Anonymous]

I'll go out on a limb here and say that maybe the rotten food story really is funny -- you said everyone laughs when he tells it, except for you -- so try to find the humor in there. No one is thinking less of you because of the story, and everyone has their own more or less embarrassing moments.

That said, my DH does stuff like this all the time. I think it is a combo of narcissism and ADHD. I try not to get upset as so far this is only a minor annoyance in my life, and I finally have really internalized that I can only control my feelings and reactions (and not DH). It took many years but I feel much calmer now than I used to feel about things like this, which helps our relationship as DH doesn't feel that I'm always on him for things he says. Not a perfect solution, but there really is none here unless DH decides to change (ahem this is unlikely). Good luck!

[Anonymous]

My ASD husband is an awful story teller. Including when the punchline is trying to make fun of me. But he has such a roundabout, backwards storytelling delivery ON PURPOSE or he just can't help himself, that I find it more funny to sit back not correct the story or clear it up and just WATCH people's faces.

First they can't tell WTF he is saying. He's telling useless detail trying to impress the listeners and keep them on their toes about what is he actually saying. After about 5 minutes of useless play by play with no point, half the people tune out.

But he keeps at it, more useless details, but delivered like a performing arts center so people cling on, hoping for something to make sense or have a point or tie together.

You can see their eyes and faces twist up as they dissect his superfluous grammer and attempt at a suspenseful tone. Some are beginning to think they've been had, nothing much has been said.

Then finally the actual 20 seconds of content is delivered, for those left processing anything. They gasp! Then they laugh at how 95% of what was said for 10 minutes of him in the airport, hotel, restaurant, CVS, had nothing to do with him going to the wrong rental car and finding a bunch of drugs in the trunk.

Then they never stick around for another long-winded nonsense story again. I of course, cannot.

[Anonymous]

You need to be very careful throwing around memory issues or ADHD to a doctor. Memory issues at 50? Probably not but you suggest it and someone will find it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ASD husband is an awful story teller. Including when the punchline is trying to make fun of me. But he has such a roundabout, backwards storytelling delivery ON PURPOSE or he just can't help himself, that I find it more funny to sit back not correct the story or clear it up and just WATCH people's faces.

First they can't tell WTF he is saying. He's telling useless detail trying to impress the listeners and keep them on their toes about what is he actually saying. After about 5 minutes of useless play by play with no point, half the people tune out.

But he keeps at it, more useless details, but delivered like a performing arts center so people cling on, hoping for something to make sense or have a point or tie together.

You can see their eyes and faces twist up as they dissect his superfluous grammer and attempt at a suspenseful tone. Some are beginning to think they've been had, nothing much has been said.

Then finally the actual 20 seconds of content is delivered, for those left processing anything. They gasp! Then they laugh at how 95% of what was said for 10 minutes of him in the airport, hotel, restaurant, CVS, had nothing to do with him going to the wrong rental car and finding a bunch of drugs in the trunk.

Then they never stick around for another long-winded nonsense story again. I of course, cannot.

OMG we are married to the same man.

[Anonymous]

Op, these things are pretty trivial in my opinion. Look at the positive side and the good things he do for you and the family. Positivity breeds positivity.

[Anonymous]

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would find this frustrating but it is typical middle aged guy stuff. He has less room in his head for new things and keeps repeating the old ones out of habit and convenience and really isn't motivated to or hearing a request to change.

I couldn’t disagree more.
OP, your husband sounds like an insufferable jerk and shouldn’t be let off this easy.