DH driving me nuts--memory issue? ADHD?
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Anonymous
Those are not the signs of Alzheimers. Especially since he's been doing it for years. |
Anonymous
My MIL did tons of stuff like this, starting decades ago, and has Alzheimers now. She probably had it at a mild level long before we realized. It was like a brittle quality in which she couldn't move on mentally from errors she had memorized. For example, she used to tell me my birthday was several days later than it was, because she'd gotten that locked into her mind, and she couldn't let go of the idea tha she was right and I was wrong. |
Anonymous
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I think it could be early signs of dementia. My MIL has late stage dementia now but early on it presented often w her getting “stuck” on some random thing and insisting on it even when it either made no sense, was wrong, bothered someone. Etc. For example when we visited she’d always insist that our son was sad and wanted to go home even though he would be laughing and playing and clearly (to everyone else) having a great time. This was all due to one instance in which years before when he had gotten sick at their house and we had left earlier than planned.
She also had a thing w holidays/birthdays where even when she wrote the date on a calendar and had the calendar right in front of her and someone told her “today is July 15, so and so’s birthday” she couldn’t register that it was in fact that day and she’d insist “no their bday was last week” or “I think their bday is coming up soon but I don’t think it’s today” and she’d often call people a week before their bday or 3 days after it or whatever to wish them a happy birthday. And when we’d go there for holidays the holiday would often get celebrated early or late too (once she wanted to “go ahead” and celebrate Christmas on December 20 even though there was no reason to do so and once she bought all the food and had a meal all planned for thanksgiving but on thanksgiving day she said she didn’t think she should prepare the meal til the weekend, again for no reason.) it’s like dates and occasions that required planning/advance thought (even if the advance thought comes easily and naturally to others) just completely confused her. |
Anonymous
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So sorry OP, but your DH’s behavior sounds like my dad who has dementia. His short term memory is shot but he remembers things from the distant past. He repeats stories to us and others as if it was his first tell them. He divulges embarrassing information😔. He does all this and then in a few minutes he’s back to “normal” as if all is well.
I suggest that you document his behavior (date, time & what occurred) and discuss it with his doctor. Wishing your family all the best… |
Anonymous
| He sounds like my ADHD husband. He doesn’t tell embarrassing stories, but he forgets things I just told him all the time bc he’s only half (if even that) paying attention at any given time. |
Anonymous
This is aspergers or ADHD, and he doesn’t give two Fs about getting things false. He will keep saying then because he thinks he’s right and everyone else is wrong. |
Anonymous
| My dad was like this, and did end up with dementia. Very strident that every he said was correct, even when it wasn't. |
Anonymous
| Maybe it is just a funny goofy thing that really isn’t important and he could care less that he has told the story before. |
Anonymous
Correct, he think he’s awesome. Any way you can just laugh and see the humor in his constant idiocy and lame conversations? |
Anonymous
| I am divorcing my STBX about stuff like this. It's one thing when it's minor, but when it becomes about major stuff - financial allocation that significantly impacts your long-term prospects, deciding what to keep private and what to share with family, etc. it is just total disrespect. That is my opinion at least. You have a whole conversation about how you are going to approach something, he agrees, does the exact opposite, and then tries to make you feel like you are overreacting. I had enough. He was incapable of following through on anything - from the most minor things to the most major things. His excuse was always, I forgot. How can you forget something that you have talked about over 100 times over a decade? |
Anonymous
| He’s acting like a kid and seems to enjoy it. |
Anonymous
| My husband asks me every time whether acetaminophen is Tylenol. Every time for 25 years. |
Anonymous
I do this too. I rarely take it and when I do it's because I have a blinding headache and am not really paying attention. And it just isn't important to me. I have a memory like a steel trap for plenty of other stuff, but there are always things I blank on. I think that's normal. At least, everyone I've ever known has similar memory "blind spots." Which are totally different from Alzheimers, dementia, stroke. I've had relatives with those. It's not the same at all. The PP above who described her MIL's inability to process -- that's much more in line with the memory stuff. My mother has had memory issues for a very long time due to lupus, but 10 years ago she had some small strokes, and they really affected her processing. What should be simple decisions take forever and sometimes she arrives at weird conclusions or insists on doing something a certain way and cannot be reasoned with. To OP, I'm not a doctor, but unless his memory stuff is more major, it sounds mostly like he either is not really listening or just doesn't care. But also, what's his sleep like? I can feel myself blanking or forgetting things more when I am very short on sleep. |
Anonymous
It may not be important to you but it’s annoying to whomever you ask. |
Anonymous
| His behaviors can be symptoms of ADD, Asperger's, or early-stage Dementia, they call also be the behaviors of someone who doesn't care and is rude or someone who is tired of living with someone who needs to control every interaction. It's hard to say. Rather than diagnosing you need to decide if you can live with the behaviors any longer because they are unlikely to change for the better. |