Why are men on dating apps losers?

[Anonymous]

OP calling all of the men on dating apps losers just turned me off and I would never date her is this came out IRL.

[Anonymous]

Mostly selfies = "I'm not sane enough to have friends"

[Anonymous]

You say you like hiking and biking, but then your pictures are selfies in a car. That doesn't match. You need to sell yourself. So, you like hiking and biking? Post a few photos of you actively doing that activity. Examples: Photo 1: Me at the top of a mountain! Photo 2: Me at the end of my 20 mile bike ride! I'm a female, but I can't tell you how many guys said in their profile "I like hiking" but when I asked them "What's the last place you hiked?" They mentioned something lame from 10 years ago in college...

Put on a cute dress, do your hair and makeup as if you were going on date, then go to a park with a friend on a sunny day and have them take photos of you. Pick the best one and make it your main picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any trouble attracting professional men. I have dates with two physicians this weekend. They can definitely sniff out who wants them for their money and prestige, and aren’t interested in those women. I make my own money, and I’m very feminist, so the last thing I want is a man’s money. They appreciate that.

What’s more challenging is finding men who will be equal partners and make me a priority. The problem with the professional men is that their career will always come first, no exceptions. I’m not really interested in that. I’d rather be with someone who makes less but is a good partner.

What do you think makes you attractive to professional men?

I treat them like human beings and not ATMs. I don’t like it when men objectify me and pursue me for sex, so I don’t objectify them and pursue them for money.

I have a career of my own and I’m low maintenance/laid back. I have a sense of humor. I ask them to go hiking for dates instead of a fancy dinner or drinks. I don’t try to jump through hoops in a desperate attempt to get a rich man to want me.

For sure not all guys are into me. There are plenty who want more of a trophy, and that’s not me.

Basically just be a good, kind person.

What happened with these guys to where you’re still looking online?

I'm super picky

I have a fulfilling, rewarding life. If I'm going to commit to someone, they need to add to my life, but I find most men take away from it.

I say this with all kindness, but the guys on dating apps aren't the problem. I absolutely agree that many men aren't good for you but in the end you only have to make it work with one (1). Your pickiness at an age and state of life where no one can afford to be picky proves you don't *really* want to be with a man in any serious manner, which is perfectly okay--it's your life, but you're going to have to own it.

PP here, and yup, that's pretty much it!

I have a great life with amazing relationships. I have purpose, meaning, and a career I love. I'm okay with using a sperm donor for having children, and outsourcing as needed.

I want to surround myself with people that lift me up and empower me, which is what my friends and family do. If I find a man who can do that, I'm happy to be in a relationship with them. But so far, I haven't found any that do it at the level I require. And life's way too short to waste time on people who drag you down.

In the meantime, I have fun dating. I like meeting new people and having new experiences. I'm certainly not bitter about not finding the perfect man.

You sound incredibly high maintenance

Ha! Yep, in a lot of ways, I am. It's served me well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

The fit and attractive women on OLD get attention all the time. And they get hit on by everyone, losers and winners alike.

If you are not getting the attention you want, it is because

You do not have a good profile (hint: statements like "I enjoy the simple things" are a turn-off. Try listing specific hobbies you enjoy.)
You are a 6(-) and believe you should only receive interest from 8(+) type men. Stay in your lane and enjoy life there.
You are batshit crazy and being "a great cook" = cooking rabbit stew on an ex-boyfriend's range.

I hate to say it, but it's true. I match on every right-swipe. This was the case when I was OP's age, and it's the same now that I'm in my mid-forties. I don't mean to be rude, but any woman who isn't getting a ton of attention online simply is not appealing to men based on her photos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

The fit and attractive women on OLD get attention all the time. And they get hit on by everyone, losers and winners alike.

If you are not getting the attention you want, it is because

You do not have a good profile (hint: statements like "I enjoy the simple things" are a turn-off. Try listing specific hobbies you enjoy.)
You are a 6(-) and believe you should only receive interest from 8(+) type men. Stay in your lane and enjoy life there.
You are batshit crazy and being "a great cook" = cooking rabbit stew on an ex-boyfriend's range.

I hate to say it, but it's true. I match on every right-swipe. This was the case when I was OP's age, and it's the same now that I'm in my mid-forties. I don't mean to be rude, but any woman who isn't getting a ton of attention online simply is not appealing to men based on her photos.

I am Asian. Does that count? Maybe white women have it easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

The fit and attractive women on OLD get attention all the time. And they get hit on by everyone, losers and winners alike.

If you are not getting the attention you want, it is because

You do not have a good profile (hint: statements like "I enjoy the simple things" are a turn-off. Try listing specific hobbies you enjoy.)
You are a 6(-) and believe you should only receive interest from 8(+) type men. Stay in your lane and enjoy life there.
You are batshit crazy and being "a great cook" = cooking rabbit stew on an ex-boyfriend's range.

I hate to say it, but it's true. I match on every right-swipe. This was the case when I was OP's age, and it's the same now that I'm in my mid-forties. I don't mean to be rude, but any woman who isn't getting a ton of attention online simply is not appealing to men based on her photos.

I am Asian. Does that count? Maybe white women have it easier.

I only date Black women so I can't 100 percent confirm this, OP, but there are so many Asian profiles that are clearly fakes that if your pictures don't look natural men could be assuming that. It's the same with Eastern European profiles that you just swipe on past because they're obvious fakes.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This may be my problem. I am not very photogenic I suppose nor do I put up "sexy pictures."

This is your answer. The way most dating sites work is that they generate profiles of men who are close to your rating in the looks department and present them to you more than other candidates.

I don't think you should put up any sexy pictures, but aside from your written profile, your pictures are still the most important part. Or rather - how you look in real life. A lot of people who are just not born good looking will tell you that they are "not photogenic". Be realistic. Try to maximize your looks, but also understand that the best candidates will naturally go for prettier, cuter, more charming women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ha! Yep, in a lot of ways, I am [picky]. It's served me well!

Has it though? You are on DCUM decrying the fact that you can't get a date on OLD?? Asian women are sought after. Women in general are sought after. Not sure what is going on with you beside you give off a very offputting vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any trouble attracting professional men. I have dates with two physicians this weekend. They can definitely sniff out who wants them for their money and prestige, and aren’t interested in those women. I make my own money, and I’m very feminist, so the last thing I want is a man’s money. They appreciate that.

What’s more challenging is finding men who will be equal partners and make me a priority. The problem with the professional men is that their career will always come first, no exceptions. I’m not really interested in that. I’d rather be with someone who makes less but is a good partner.

So why haven't you canceled the dates with the doctors?

Free dinner!

Becuase they’re doctors.....an ego boost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

The fit and attractive women on OLD get attention all the time. And they get hit on by everyone, losers and winners alike.

If you are not getting the attention you want, it is because

You do not have a good profile (hint: statements like "I enjoy the simple things" are a turn-off. Try listing specific hobbies you enjoy.)
You are a 6(-) and believe you should only receive interest from 8(+) type men. Stay in your lane and enjoy life there.
You are batshit crazy and being "a great cook" = cooking rabbit stew on an ex-boyfriend's range.

I hate to say it, but it's true. I match on every right-swipe. This was the case when I was OP's age, and it's the same now that I'm in my mid-forties. I don't mean to be rude, but any woman who isn't getting a ton of attention online simply is not appealing to men based on her photos.

I am Asian. Does that count? Maybe white women have it easier.

I only date Black women so I can't 100 percent confirm this, OP, but there are so many Asian profiles that are clearly fakes that if your pictures don't look natural men could be assuming that. It's the same with Eastern European profiles that you just swipe on past because they're obvious fakes.

There are a lot of fake looking Asian profiles, not sure why, but a lot more than other ethnicities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any trouble attracting professional men. I have dates with two physicians this weekend. They can definitely sniff out who wants them for their money and prestige, and aren’t interested in those women. I make my own money, and I’m very feminist, so the last thing I want is a man’s money. They appreciate that.

What’s more challenging is finding men who will be equal partners and make me a priority. The problem with the professional men is that their career will always come first, no exceptions. I’m not really interested in that. I’d rather be with someone who makes less but is a good partner.

What do you think makes you attractive to professional men?

I treat them like human beings and not ATMs. I don’t like it when men objectify me and pursue me for sex, so I don’t objectify them and pursue them for money.

I have a career of my own and I’m low maintenance/laid back. I have a sense of humor. I ask them to go hiking for dates instead of a fancy dinner or drinks. I don’t try to jump through hoops in a desperate attempt to get a rich man to want me.

For sure not all guys are into me. There are plenty who want more of a trophy, and that’s not me.

Basically just be a good, kind person.

What happened with these guys to where you’re still looking online?

I'm super picky

I have a fulfilling, rewarding life. If I'm going to commit to someone, they need to add to my life, but I find most men take away from it.

I say this with all kindness, but the guys on dating apps aren't the problem. I absolutely agree that many men aren't good for you but in the end you only have to make it work with one (1). Your pickiness at an age and state of life where no one can afford to be picky proves you don't *really* want to be with a man in any serious manner, which is perfectly okay--it's your life, but you're going to have to own it.

PP here, and yup, that's pretty much it!

I have a great life with amazing relationships. I have purpose, meaning, and a career I love. I'm okay with using a sperm donor for having children, and outsourcing as needed.

I want to surround myself with people that lift me up and empower me, which is what my friends and family do. If I find a man who can do that, I'm happy to be in a relationship with them. But so far, I haven't found any that do it at the level I require. And life's way too short to waste time on people who drag you down.

In the meantime, I have fun dating. I like meeting new people and having new experiences. I'm certainly not bitter about not finding the perfect man.

You sound incredibly high maintenance

Ha! Yep, in a lot of ways, I am. It's served me well!

You sound incredibly icy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any trouble attracting professional men. I have dates with two physicians this weekend. They can definitely sniff out who wants them for their money and prestige, and aren’t interested in those women. I make my own money, and I’m very feminist, so the last thing I want is a man’s money. They appreciate that.

What’s more challenging is finding men who will be equal partners and make me a priority. The problem with the professional men is that their career will always come first, no exceptions. I’m not really interested in that. I’d rather be with someone who makes less but is a good partner.

What do you think makes you attractive to professional men?

I treat them like human beings and not ATMs. I don’t like it when men objectify me and pursue me for sex, so I don’t objectify them and pursue them for money.

I have a career of my own and I’m low maintenance/laid back. I have a sense of humor. I ask them to go hiking for dates instead of a fancy dinner or drinks. I don’t try to jump through hoops in a desperate attempt to get a rich man to want me.

For sure not all guys are into me. There are plenty who want more of a trophy, and that’s not me.

Basically just be a good, kind person.

What happened with these guys to where you’re still looking online?

I'm super picky

I have a fulfilling, rewarding life. If I'm going to commit to someone, they need to add to my life, but I find most men take away from it.

I say this with all kindness, but the guys on dating apps aren't the problem. I absolutely agree that many men aren't good for you but in the end you only have to make it work with one (1). Your pickiness at an age and state of life where no one can afford to be picky proves you don't *really* want to be with a man in any serious manner, which is perfectly okay--it's your life, but you're going to have to own it.

PP here, and yup, that's pretty much it!

I have a great life with amazing relationships. I have purpose, meaning, and a career I love. I'm okay with using a sperm donor for having children, and outsourcing as needed.

I want to surround myself with people that lift me up and empower me, which is what my friends and family do. If I find a man who can do that, I'm happy to be in a relationship with them. But so far, I haven't found any that do it at the level I require. And life's way too short to waste time on people who drag you down.

In the meantime, I have fun dating. I like meeting new people and having new experiences. I'm certainly not bitter about not finding the perfect man.

You sound incredibly high maintenance

Actually she sounds like a great FWB, but definitely not marriage material.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're now at an age and with a lifestyle that makes dating hard. Almost all the good guys are married by 35, which means they're in serious relationships before that.

Your lifestyle is incompatible with starting a family, because marriage is a lot of compromise and raising kids requires putting their needs far above your own. There's nothing wrong with living life exactly on your own terms, but you need to own it. You're not a good candidate for parenting, so the men looking for a wife to start a family with passed you over when you were younger.

The best thing is to just own that you'd rather live life exactly on your own terms and without compromise, and just date for fun. Stop analyzing men for minor, insignificant issues such as compatible tastes in books. Many of your "requirements" don't matter because you're not willing to hold up your end of the bargain for being a wife or mother. Just accept that and have fun dating without all these ridiculous requirements for a partner because you're not willing to do what it takes to even have a partner.

What you're doing right now is akin to refusing to eat at restaurants that don't have steak when you're a vegetarian.

[Anonymous]

Because their wives ditched them