Why are men on dating apps losers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not encountering them on the apps you're not their type. I had no problem finding and dating nice/normal professional men, now engaged to one who I met on Tinder.

What do you offer?

Op here. This came across as unnecessarily snarky? How do you know I am not their type?

Not PP, but how do you know men on dating apps are losers?

The ones I match with are overweight or have blue collar professions.

Two of them started talking chatting within 5 minutes.

Poor grammar.

Confessions of prior infidelity.

etc.

Again, what do you bring to the table?

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

So what's the problem with "blue collar" men? Frankly, if your looks/cooking/libido is all you have (everyone can cook, everyone has sex) then most "professional" men are going to see right through you. Mentioning sex and cooking is like boasting about wiping your own butt. It's an expectation, it's not an asset.

Because I don't have much in common with them? They do not listen to the podcasts I do, nor read the books or publications I read. They do not frequent the same spaces I do.

FWIW, I am not looking for a sugar daddy. I am looking for a decent, kind educated man who I can go on hikes and bike rides with and who I can get book recommendations from. I'd also like a travel partner and someone with an intellectual streak. I am not looking to be a trophy wife. I like cooking and eating too much!

How do you know you don't have much in common with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not encountering them on the apps you're not their type. I had no problem finding and dating nice/normal professional men, now engaged to one who I met on Tinder.

What do you offer?

Op here. This came across as unnecessarily snarky? How do you know I am not their type?

Not PP, but how do you know men on dating apps are losers?

The ones I match with are overweight or have blue collar professions.

Two of them started talking chatting within 5 minutes.

Poor grammar.

Confessions of prior infidelity.

etc.

Again, what do you bring to the table?

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

So what's the problem with "blue collar" men? Frankly, if your looks/cooking/libido is all you have (everyone can cook, everyone has sex) then most "professional" men are going to see right through you. Mentioning sex and cooking is like boasting about wiping your own butt. It's an expectation, it's not an asset.

Because I don't have much in common with them? They do not listen to the podcasts I do, nor read the books or publications I read. They do not frequent the same spaces I do.

FWIW, I am not looking for a sugar daddy. I am looking for a decent, kind educated man who I can go on hikes and bike rides with and who I can get book recommendations from. I'd also like a travel partner and someone with an intellectual streak. I am not looking to be a trophy wife. I like cooking and eating too much!

Man here. So they need to listen to the same podcasts as you, read the same books as you, goes hiking and biking, is an intellectual, and likes to travel.

That's a lot to ask, but I've known men like that, and they were all married by mid-30's. Why did you turn down these same guys when you were in your 20s?

OP here. I do not mean exactly the same interests but you know...generally have similar interests where you can have an exchange of ideas.

I married someone I thought was a right fit but we turned grew in different directions.

So you're trying to make the same mistake twice?

[Anonymous]

Divorced 34 year old calls blue collar men "losers", news at 11.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any trouble attracting professional men. I have dates with two physicians this weekend. They can definitely sniff out who wants them for their money and prestige, and aren’t interested in those women. I make my own money, and I’m very feminist, so the last thing I want is a man’s money. They appreciate that.

What’s more challenging is finding men who will be equal partners and make me a priority. The problem with the professional men is that their career will always come first, no exceptions. I’m not really interested in that. I’d rather be with someone who makes less but is a good partner.

What do you think makes you attractive to professional men?

I treat them like human beings and not ATMs. I don’t like it when men objectify me and pursue me for sex, so I don’t objectify them and pursue them for money.

I have a career of my own and I’m low maintenance/laid back. I have a sense of humor. I ask them to go hiking for dates instead of a fancy dinner or drinks. I don’t try to jump through hoops in a desperate attempt to get a rich man to want me.

For sure not all guys are into me. There are plenty who want more of a trophy, and that’s not me.

Basically just be a good, kind person.

What happened with these guys to where you’re still looking online?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any trouble attracting professional men. I have dates with two physicians this weekend. They can definitely sniff out who wants them for their money and prestige, and aren’t interested in those women. I make my own money, and I’m very feminist, so the last thing I want is a man’s money. They appreciate that.

What’s more challenging is finding men who will be equal partners and make me a priority. The problem with the professional men is that their career will always come first, no exceptions. I’m not really interested in that. I’d rather be with someone who makes less but is a good partner.

Now you are starting to sound very picky.

I am very picky

I’ve got one shot to have a family and I know my worth. I’d rather do it alone than with a bad partner.

Picky daters don’t really need to use dating apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not encountering them on the apps you're not their type. I had no problem finding and dating nice/normal professional men, now engaged to one who I met on Tinder.

What do you offer?

Op here. This came across as unnecessarily snarky? How do you know I am not their type?

Not PP, but how do you know men on dating apps are losers?

The ones I match with are overweight or have blue collar professions.

Two of them started talking chatting within 5 minutes.

Poor grammar.

Confessions of prior infidelity.

etc.

Again, what do you bring to the table?

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

Do you have good pictures? Do your standards in terms of attractiveness/income exclude almost all men? If the issue is that you're not even seeing men you find acceptable (as opposed to, you go out with them and then it doesn't work), it's probably one of those things.

This. Buy 3 new outfits. Cute ones. Hire a professional photographer. Get your hair and makeup done professionally.

I had a friend with similar complaints to you OP. So I signed up for a dating app, checked the “male” box, and screen shotted the first 10 women the app fed me. She was shocked. They were all dressed to the nines with youtuber makeup. Her plain Jane candids were ruining her prospects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not encountering them on the apps you're not their type. I had no problem finding and dating nice/normal professional men, now engaged to one who I met on Tinder.

What do you offer?

Op here. This came across as unnecessarily snarky? How do you know I am not their type?

Not PP, but how do you know men on dating apps are losers?

The ones I match with are overweight or have blue collar professions.

Two of them started talking chatting within 5 minutes.

Poor grammar.

Confessions of prior infidelity.

etc.

Again, what do you bring to the table?

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

Do you have good pictures? Do your standards in terms of attractiveness/income exclude almost all men? If the issue is that you're not even seeing men you find acceptable (as opposed to, you go out with them and then it doesn't work), it's probably one of those things.

This. Buy 3 new outfits. Cute ones. Hire a professional photographer. Get your hair and makeup done professionally.

I had a friend with similar complaints to you OP. So I signed up for a dating app, checked the “male” box, and screen shotted the first 10 women the app fed me. She was shocked. They were all dressed to the nines with youtuber makeup. Her plain Jane candids were ruining her prospects.

What happened when she showed up on the date looking not at all like her pictures?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not encountering them on the apps you're not their type. I had no problem finding and dating nice/normal professional men, now engaged to one who I met on Tinder.

What do you offer?

Op here. This came across as unnecessarily snarky? How do you know I am not their type?

Not PP, but how do you know men on dating apps are losers?

The ones I match with are overweight or have blue collar professions.

Two of them started talking chatting within 5 minutes.

Poor grammar.

Confessions of prior infidelity.

etc.

Again, what do you bring to the table?

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

Do you have good pictures? Do your standards in terms of attractiveness/income exclude almost all men? If the issue is that you're not even seeing men you find acceptable (as opposed to, you go out with them and then it doesn't work), it's probably one of those things.

This. Buy 3 new outfits. Cute ones. Hire a professional photographer. Get your hair and makeup done professionally.

I had a friend with similar complaints to you OP. So I signed up for a dating app, checked the “male” box, and screen shotted the first 10 women the app fed me. She was shocked. They were all dressed to the nines with youtuber makeup. Her plain Jane candids were ruining her prospects.

What happened when she showed up on the date looking not at all like her pictures?

DP here and I assume the women put on make-up for their dates also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not encountering them on the apps you're not their type. I had no problem finding and dating nice/normal professional men, now engaged to one who I met on Tinder.

What do you offer?

Op here. This came across as unnecessarily snarky? How do you know I am not their type?

Not PP, but how do you know men on dating apps are losers?

The ones I match with are overweight or have blue collar professions.

Two of them started talking chatting within 5 minutes.

Poor grammar.

Confessions of prior infidelity.

etc.

Again, what do you bring to the table?

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

Do you have good pictures? Do your standards in terms of attractiveness/income exclude almost all men? If the issue is that you're not even seeing men you find acceptable (as opposed to, you go out with them and then it doesn't work), it's probably one of those things.

This. Buy 3 new outfits. Cute ones. Hire a professional photographer. Get your hair and makeup done professionally.

I had a friend with similar complaints to you OP. So I signed up for a dating app, checked the “male” box, and screen shotted the first 10 women the app fed me. She was shocked. They were all dressed to the nines with youtuber makeup. Her plain Jane candids were ruining her prospects.

What happened when she showed up on the date looking not at all like her pictures?

She did look like her pictures. She didn’t pull a Khloe Kardashian, she just got her hair and makeup done, and the photos were in good lighting etc.

She’s getting very serious with a software engineer now that she met on an app.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not encountering them on the apps you're not their type. I had no problem finding and dating nice/normal professional men, now engaged to one who I met on Tinder.

What do you offer?

Op here. This came across as unnecessarily snarky? How do you know I am not their type?

Not PP, but how do you know men on dating apps are losers?

The ones I match with are overweight or have blue collar professions.

Two of them started talking chatting within 5 minutes.

Poor grammar.

Confessions of prior infidelity.

etc.

Again, what do you bring to the table?

I am fir and attractive. I get told I look 26 all the time. I am feminine and a great cook. I have a high libido. I am well read, well traveled and enjoy the simple things in life.

Do you have good pictures? Do your standards in terms of attractiveness/income exclude almost all men? If the issue is that you're not even seeing men you find acceptable (as opposed to, you go out with them and then it doesn't work), it's probably one of those things.

This. Buy 3 new outfits. Cute ones. Hire a professional photographer. Get your hair and makeup done professionally.

I had a friend with similar complaints to you OP. So I signed up for a dating app, checked the “male” box, and screen shotted the first 10 women the app fed me. She was shocked. They were all dressed to the nines with youtuber makeup. Her plain Jane candids were ruining her prospects.

OP here. This may be my problem. I am not very photogenic I suppose nor do I put up "sexy pictures."

My current pictures are selfies of myself smiling with hair and makeup done. One picture of me from a far in a swimming suit and shorts. One picture of me dressed up at a wedding. A few selfies in the car.

[Anonymous]

The desirable ones don't need online dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any trouble attracting professional men. I have dates with two physicians this weekend. They can definitely sniff out who wants them for their money and prestige, and aren’t interested in those women. I make my own money, and I’m very feminist, so the last thing I want is a man’s money. They appreciate that.

What’s more challenging is finding men who will be equal partners and make me a priority. The problem with the professional men is that their career will always come first, no exceptions. I’m not really interested in that. I’d rather be with someone who makes less but is a good partner.

What do you think makes you attractive to professional men?

I treat them like human beings and not ATMs. I don’t like it when men objectify me and pursue me for sex, so I don’t objectify them and pursue them for money.

I have a career of my own and I’m low maintenance/laid back. I have a sense of humor. I ask them to go hiking for dates instead of a fancy dinner or drinks. I don’t try to jump through hoops in a desperate attempt to get a rich man to want me.

For sure not all guys are into me. There are plenty who want more of a trophy, and that’s not me.

Basically just be a good, kind person.

What happened with these guys to where you’re still looking online?

I'm super picky

I have a fulfilling, rewarding life. If I'm going to commit to someone, they need to add to my life, but I find most men take away from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking at 35-42 range as a 34 year old woman.

SO disappointing. I don't even have a cat!

Where are the normal, well-to-do, professional ones?

They’re working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any trouble attracting professional men. I have dates with two physicians this weekend. They can definitely sniff out who wants them for their money and prestige, and aren’t interested in those women. I make my own money, and I’m very feminist, so the last thing I want is a man’s money. They appreciate that.

What’s more challenging is finding men who will be equal partners and make me a priority. The problem with the professional men is that their career will always come first, no exceptions. I’m not really interested in that. I’d rather be with someone who makes less but is a good partner.

Now you are starting to sound very picky.

I am very picky

I’ve got one shot to have a family and I know my worth. I’d rather do it alone than with a bad partner.

An equally partner who makes me a priority? Lol sound very one sided.

[Anonymous]

Buy 3 new outfits. Cute ones. Hire a professional photographer. Get your hair and makeup done professionally.

No, no, no. Don’t look high maintenance. Do get a friend to take your picture though. No selfies.