Can we please stop with the “you don’t want to parent your kids” bs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perspective from a stay at home mom: I feel for the teachers, but even with constant supervision, my kid screws around a lot during asynchronous time. I can stand there and tell him to do his work and he will just sit and find reasons to stall. His teachers praised his work a lot during the regular school year and there is just no way his behavior is just how he is as a student.

When people tell me I just need to parent him more, I have to laugh. There is no way I could parent him any more than I am doing now. I know it must be a nightmare for working parents.

Working parent here and yes, this. My kid is 6. He tried so hard in the fall but at this point he screws around during synchronous AND asynchronous times. I am doing my best to keep him as attentive as i can, but I am also on my own work Zoom calls for most of the school day and cannot leave them every 5 minutes to stand over him saying "put that down, look at the screen, do what your teacher is saying" for 3 hours. Even when i do, some days it isn't that successful.

The only way i could "parent" him full time on the SCHOOL'S preferred schedule is to quit my job. If the minimum level of parenting you think is necessary involves one SAHP per household, you really, really have to rethink your expectations. That is absolutely unreasonable. I said in another thread that this is basically an argument for private school.

This is a pandemic. Private schools are also shutting down for 14 days every time some one gets COVID, which is far more disruptive. It is a crapshoot and it is horrible.

My kids have great teachers for DL, but I have no leisure time anymore because I have to be very involved in the education of the students. Still, I believe that some families will actually utilize this time and give an academic leg-up to their children. We will see some students get exponentially ahead in academics. This will really widen the achievement gap.

Funny, I have no leisure time because I'm either doing my job or taking care of my kids while my husband does his job all day every weekday. We do reading and math practice with my 6 year old in ways he enjoys after school but I cannot "be involved" by making him sit still and do all the synchronous lessons and asynchronous apps and things he is supposed to do for virtual K because I AM WORKING. We're not talking about whether parents are educating their kids in some way, we're talking about whether parents make sure their kids are compliant with the schedule and tasks laid out by the school.

You had leisure time before the pandemic. Please tell me about it. Lol

I will say I’m the queen of the leisure outfit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work out of the house full time. So does my husband. My kids are 11 and 14 - they handle distance learning by themselves. Every day. Even though they are “doing well”, I, like most, realize the material they are covering and their methods of assessment are pretty sub par with DL. I want my kids back in school ASAP.
I’m parenting them exactly as I would have during “normal” times, if they were in person in school. So please please stop with the nonsense that people only want kids in school because they can’t/don’t want to parent them, or are sick of them, or want someone else to parent them. It’s just a stupid baseless so called argument.

Well you should not be parenting them just like "normal times" ... these are not normal times.

You are exactly the person that people are complaining about, you don't want to be bothered to "parent your kids".

If they are falling back in school, help them.
If they need more socialization, set up outdoor gatherings so they can carry on friendships.
If they need a sport, sign them up for a sport.
If they need their arts, get together with other parents and continue with their arts.

The government is not there to solve all your problems. Do your job as a parent.

DCUM DL forever folk in the summer and fall: You are terribly selfish for allowing your kids to play sports or do other activities. If you want schools to reopen, do your part and stay home.

DCUM DL forever folk 2021 - If your kids are suffering, sign them up for activities. Play sports. Don't expect the government to solve all your problems.

There's no winning.

Well I do agree with the government part. If you're waiting for the government to solve any of your provlems, you are naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This pandemic is nothing any of us signed up for. When most of us became parents, there was a pretty deep expectation that when kids are 5-6, they would be in school and we could work during those hours. When that rug got pulled out from underneath us, we are allowed to be thrown off balance. I realize we're 10 months into it but the goalposts have moved A LOT and none of us have been able to accurately predict what will happen next.

Nobody was prepared for a pandemic. There's no playbook to get us through it. Goalposts move. This really nothing you can do to be prepared at all times. It might be time to accept that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perspective from a stay at home mom: I feel for the teachers, but even with constant supervision, my kid screws around a lot during asynchronous time. I can stand there and tell him to do his work and he will just sit and find reasons to stall. His teachers praised his work a lot during the regular school year and there is just no way his behavior is just how he is as a student.

When people tell me I just need to parent him more, I have to laugh. There is no way I could parent him any more than I am doing now. I know it must be a nightmare for working parents.

Working parent here and yes, this. My kid is 6. He tried so hard in the fall but at this point he screws around during synchronous AND asynchronous times. I am doing my best to keep him as attentive as i can, but I am also on my own work Zoom calls for most of the school day and cannot leave them every 5 minutes to stand over him saying "put that down, look at the screen, do what your teacher is saying" for 3 hours. Even when i do, some days it isn't that successful.

The only way i could "parent" him full time on the SCHOOL'S preferred schedule is to quit my job. If the minimum level of parenting you think is necessary involves one SAHP per household, you really, really have to rethink your expectations. That is absolutely unreasonable. I said in another thread that this is basically an argument for private school.

This is a pandemic. Private schools are also shutting down for 14 days every time some one gets COVID, which is far more disruptive. It is a crapshoot and it is horrible.

My kids have great teachers for DL, but I have no leisure time anymore because I have to be very involved in the education of the students. Still, I believe that some families will actually utilize this time and give an academic leg-up to their children. We will see some students get exponentially ahead in academics. This will really widen the achievement gap.

Funny, I have no leisure time because I'm either doing my job or taking care of my kids while my husband does his job all day every weekday. We do reading and math practice with my 6 year old in ways he enjoys after school but I cannot "be involved" by making him sit still and do all the synchronous lessons and asynchronous apps and things he is supposed to do for virtual K because I AM WORKING. We're not talking about whether parents are educating their kids in some way, we're talking about whether parents make sure their kids are compliant with the schedule and tasks laid out by the school.

You had leisure time before the pandemic. Please tell me about it. Lol

I will say I’m the queen of the leisure outfit

Haha, you got me, I did not. Just annoyed at the implication that DL isn't working for my kindergartener because I'm misusing my copious leisure time, or whatever.

I don't even object to the idea that parents should be helping their kids learn outside of school. It's being told that if I am not literally able to standing over my kids making them try to focus while sitting alone in front of a screen, on a schedule that conflicts with my actual job that pays for our mortgage and food and health care, I am literally failing as a parent. THAT'S what gets me. DL not working for a kindergartener? Must just be a bad mom. No such thing as a structural issue, find an individual to blame so you don't have to worry about fixing anything on a larger level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work out of the house full time. So does my husband. My kids are 11 and 14 - they handle distance learning by themselves. Every day. Even though they are “doing well”, I, like most, realize the material they are covering and their methods of assessment are pretty sub par with DL. I want my kids back in school ASAP.
I’m parenting them exactly as I would have during “normal” times, if they were in person in school. So please please stop with the nonsense that people only want kids in school because they can’t/don’t want to parent them, or are sick of them, or want someone else to parent them. It’s just a stupid baseless so called argument.

Well you should not be parenting them just like "normal times" ... these are not normal times.

You are exactly the person that people are complaining about, you don't want to be bothered to "parent your kids".

If they are falling back in school, help them.
If they need more socialization, set up outdoor gatherings so they can carry on friendships.
If they need a sport, sign them up for a sport.
If they need their arts, get together with other parents and continue with their arts.

The government is not there to solve all your problems. Do your job as a parent.

DCUM DL forever folk in the summer and fall: You are terribly selfish for allowing your kids to play sports or do other activities. If you want schools to reopen, do your part and stay home.

DCUM DL forever folk 2021 - If your kids are suffering, sign them up for activities. Play sports. Don't expect the government to solve all your problems.

There's no winning.

Boo boo ... I can’t be a good parent because if I do DCUM will judge me for socializing and doing sports.

Toughen up buttercup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perspective from a stay at home mom: I feel for the teachers, but even with constant supervision, my kid screws around a lot during asynchronous time. I can stand there and tell him to do his work and he will just sit and find reasons to stall. His teachers praised his work a lot during the regular school year and there is just no way his behavior is just how he is as a student.

When people tell me I just need to parent him more, I have to laugh. There is no way I could parent him any more than I am doing now. I know it must be a nightmare for working parents.

Working parent here and yes, this. My kid is 6. He tried so hard in the fall but at this point he screws around during synchronous AND asynchronous times. I am doing my best to keep him as attentive as i can, but I am also on my own work Zoom calls for most of the school day and cannot leave them every 5 minutes to stand over him saying "put that down, look at the screen, do what your teacher is saying" for 3 hours. Even when i do, some days it isn't that successful.

The only way i could "parent" him full time on the SCHOOL'S preferred schedule is to quit my job. If the minimum level of parenting you think is necessary involves one SAHP per household, you really, really have to rethink your expectations. That is absolutely unreasonable. I said in another thread that this is basically an argument for private school.

This is a pandemic. Private schools are also shutting down for 14 days every time some one gets COVID, which is far more disruptive. It is a crapshoot and it is horrible.

My kids have great teachers for DL, but I have no leisure time anymore because I have to be very involved in the education of the students. Still, I believe that some families will actually utilize this time and give an academic leg-up to their children. We will see some students get exponentially ahead in academics. This will really widen the achievement gap.

Funny, I have no leisure time because I'm either doing my job or taking care of my kids while my husband does his job all day every weekday. We do reading and math practice with my 6 year old in ways he enjoys after school but I cannot "be involved" by making him sit still and do all the synchronous lessons and asynchronous apps and things he is supposed to do for virtual K because I AM WORKING. We're not talking about whether parents are educating their kids in some way, we're talking about whether parents make sure their kids are compliant with the schedule and tasks laid out by the school.

If you are working, you put your kid in a pod, hire a babysitter or figure it out. If your child isn't participating in school and you are saying its not your responsibility because you are working, then that is neglect.

[Anonymous]

Be glad that your kid’s teacher doesn’t say it to your face over zoom in conferences. I started reading DCUM after she opened the first conference with this line and the whole school was DL. I kind of miss the days when I ignored this page and just took care of my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perspective from a stay at home mom: I feel for the teachers, but even with constant supervision, my kid screws around a lot during asynchronous time. I can stand there and tell him to do his work and he will just sit and find reasons to stall. His teachers praised his work a lot during the regular school year and there is just no way his behavior is just how he is as a student.

When people tell me I just need to parent him more, I have to laugh. There is no way I could parent him any more than I am doing now. I know it must be a nightmare for working parents.

Working parent here and yes, this. My kid is 6. He tried so hard in the fall but at this point he screws around during synchronous AND asynchronous times. I am doing my best to keep him as attentive as i can, but I am also on my own work Zoom calls for most of the school day and cannot leave them every 5 minutes to stand over him saying "put that down, look at the screen, do what your teacher is saying" for 3 hours. Even when i do, some days it isn't that successful.

The only way i could "parent" him full time on the SCHOOL'S preferred schedule is to quit my job. If the minimum level of parenting you think is necessary involves one SAHP per household, you really, really have to rethink your expectations. That is absolutely unreasonable. I said in another thread that this is basically an argument for private school.

This is a pandemic. Private schools are also shutting down for 14 days every time some one gets COVID, which is far more disruptive. It is a crapshoot and it is horrible.

My kids have great teachers for DL, but I have no leisure time anymore because I have to be very involved in the education of the students. Still, I believe that some families will actually utilize this time and give an academic leg-up to their children. We will see some students get exponentially ahead in academics. This will really widen the achievement gap.

Funny, I have no leisure time because I'm either doing my job or taking care of my kids while my husband does his job all day every weekday. We do reading and math practice with my 6 year old in ways he enjoys after school but I cannot "be involved" by making him sit still and do all the synchronous lessons and asynchronous apps and things he is supposed to do for virtual K because I AM WORKING. We're not talking about whether parents are educating their kids in some way, we're talking about whether parents make sure their kids are compliant with the schedule and tasks laid out by the school.

You had leisure time before the pandemic. Please tell me about it. Lol

I will say I’m the queen of the leisure outfit

Haha, you got me, I did not. Just annoyed at the implication that DL isn't working for my kindergartener because I'm misusing my copious leisure time, or whatever.

I don't even object to the idea that parents should be helping their kids learn outside of school. It's being told that if I am not literally able to standing over my kids making them try to focus while sitting alone in front of a screen, on a schedule that conflicts with my actual job that pays for our mortgage and food and health care, I am literally failing as a parent. THAT'S what gets me. DL not working for a kindergartener? Must just be a bad mom. No such thing as a structural issue, find an individual to blame so you don't have to worry about fixing anything on a larger level.

DP. I don't even argue with people who argue that anymore. Like people who argue that DL for early elementary is just as good as in-person. Those arguments are so ridiculous that they are either trolls or if they truly believe, people who are beyond reasonable discourse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a please parent your kid person - and I was this way prior to the pandemic too. If your kid comes into my home and breaks shit and you and the kid don’t care (obviously not toddlers) then you aren’t parenting your kid. It doesn’t mean getting them to do DL it means getting them to be happy, to deal w the situation at hand, to get them to learn something (omg maybe not grade level but something).

It means saying maybe my kid won’t do specials because it’s too mucus. Maybe I ask the teacher for extra assignments because that works for my kid. Having a toy for your kid to play w when they need a distraction (but teaching your kid to do it off camera). Asking the teacher if you can do a drive by so your kid can see them in real life (some kids love this and some don’t).

The parents who are going to say it’s a snow day and skip work and school (the horror) and just play a that’s parenting too.

DL sucks - no child should do it well - but reminding your kid that they are amazing for doing this, being strong. That’s parenting.

You are talking about something else. But actually, this is worth responding to because I think these issues get confused a lot.

Yes, there are some parents who, even before Covid, just aren't parenting their kids. All the other parents know this. These are the kids we run into on the playground who have no social skills and do whatever they want and their parents just stand by and talk to each other and never bother to teach or guide their kids. These are the kids who are disruptive in class or in activities, who have never done the homework, who don't have indoor voices, etc. And before you yell at me: yes, I know that many of these kids likely have undiagnosed (or maybe even diagnosed) ADHD or learning disorders and they are acting out because they just aren't getting what they need. That's the whole point -- these kids aren't getting what they need, and its frustrating because the people who are positioned to give them what they need (their parents) just... don't. So I get PP's sentiment.

But the "please parent your kid" folks during Covid are taking this sentiment and applying it to families who are struggling, no matter how hard that family is working to try and make it work. A family that can't afford tutors or full-time childcare for their elementary age kids are not failing to parent their kids, they are just under-resourced. And they know they are, so they are trying to compensate with the resources they do have, and it's miserable. When they say "We need more from the schools, we need help" they don't mean help with the fundamentals of parenting, they mean resources so that they can give their kids what they need.

Slowly, some of the schools in this area have started to figure this out and offer some of that help. The CARES classrooms in DCPS are one such example, and I am so glad that finally that is being implemented. But it took forever and in the meantime, all the parents who needed CARES classrooms were being yelled at to "please parent your kid!"

And truthfully, DL is just bad for young kids. Like actively bad for them. So "parenting your kid" in this situation sometimes means turning off the computer and finding another way. But when parents do that (and many of us are doing that), we get hounded by the teachers and then schools for absences and told our kids aren't fulfilling their requirements and that we are failing as parents. In other words, by doing exactly what this PP is saying -- responding to our kid's needs and finding a way to meet them with what resources we have available -- we are viewed by the school as failing to parent correctly.

When "parent your kid" means finding a way to force a child who hates DL and is seriously deprived (of outdoor time, social interaction, non-screen time, and just unstructured time) to sit in his chair and stare at his computer screen and meet rigid requirements for participation in a DL curriculum that is not appropriate for his age or his learning needs, then the words have no meaning anymore. Schools are forcing parents to choose between parenting their kids and fulfilling school requirements. There has always been some of that going on, but now it's pretty much the heart of the relationship between parents and schools because what schools are offering to kids is so, so bad for them. In what other circumstance would a "good parent" be one who convinces their kid to do something that is actively bad for their well being? It's so messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work out of the house full time. So does my husband. My kids are 11 and 14 - they handle distance learning by themselves. Every day. Even though they are “doing well”, I, like most, realize the material they are covering and their methods of assessment are pretty sub par with DL. I want my kids back in school ASAP.
I’m parenting them exactly as I would have during “normal” times, if they were in person in school. So please please stop with the nonsense that people only want kids in school because they can’t/don’t want to parent them, or are sick of them, or want someone else to parent them. It’s just a stupid baseless so called argument.

Well you should not be parenting them just like "normal times" ... these are not normal times.

You are exactly the person that people are complaining about, you don't want to be bothered to "parent your kids".

If they are falling back in school, help them.
If they need more socialization, set up outdoor gatherings so they can carry on friendships.
If they need a sport, sign them up for a sport.
If they need their arts, get together with other parents and continue with their arts.

The government is not there to solve all your problems. Do your job as a parent.

DCUM DL forever folk in the summer and fall: You are terribly selfish for allowing your kids to play sports or do other activities. If you want schools to reopen, do your part and stay home.

DCUM DL forever folk 2021 - If your kids are suffering, sign them up for activities. Play sports. Don't expect the government to solve all your problems.

There's no winning.

Well I do agree with the government part. If you're waiting for the government to solve any of your provlems, you are naive.

You mean like allowing my kid to play on his school team in an outdoor sport with the people he goes to school with? That's hardly counting on the government to solve my problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perspective from a stay at home mom: I feel for the teachers, but even with constant supervision, my kid screws around a lot during asynchronous time. I can stand there and tell him to do his work and he will just sit and find reasons to stall. His teachers praised his work a lot during the regular school year and there is just no way his behavior is just how he is as a student.

When people tell me I just need to parent him more, I have to laugh. There is no way I could parent him any more than I am doing now. I know it must be a nightmare for working parents.

Working parent here and yes, this. My kid is 6. He tried so hard in the fall but at this point he screws around during synchronous AND asynchronous times. I am doing my best to keep him as attentive as i can, but I am also on my own work Zoom calls for most of the school day and cannot leave them every 5 minutes to stand over him saying "put that down, look at the screen, do what your teacher is saying" for 3 hours. Even when i do, some days it isn't that successful.

The only way i could "parent" him full time on the SCHOOL'S preferred schedule is to quit my job. If the minimum level of parenting you think is necessary involves one SAHP per household, you really, really have to rethink your expectations. That is absolutely unreasonable. I said in another thread that this is basically an argument for private school.

This is a pandemic. Private schools are also shutting down for 14 days every time some one gets COVID, which is far more disruptive. It is a crapshoot and it is horrible.

My kids have great teachers for DL, but I have no leisure time anymore because I have to be very involved in the education of the students. Still, I believe that some families will actually utilize this time and give an academic leg-up to their children. We will see some students get exponentially ahead in academics. This will really widen the achievement gap.

Funny, I have no leisure time because I'm either doing my job or taking care of my kids while my husband does his job all day every weekday. We do reading and math practice with my 6 year old in ways he enjoys after school but I cannot "be involved" by making him sit still and do all the synchronous lessons and asynchronous apps and things he is supposed to do for virtual K because I AM WORKING. We're not talking about whether parents are educating their kids in some way, we're talking about whether parents make sure their kids are compliant with the schedule and tasks laid out by the school.

You had leisure time before the pandemic. Please tell me about it. Lol

I will say I’m the queen of the leisure outfit

Haha, you got me, I did not. Just annoyed at the implication that DL isn't working for my kindergartener because I'm misusing my copious leisure time, or whatever.

I don't even object to the idea that parents should be helping their kids learn outside of school. It's being told that if I am not literally able to standing over my kids making them try to focus while sitting alone in front of a screen, on a schedule that conflicts with my actual job that pays for our mortgage and food and health care, I am literally failing as a parent. THAT'S what gets me. DL not working for a kindergartener? Must just be a bad mom. No such thing as a structural issue, find an individual to blame so you don't have to worry about fixing anything on a larger level.

No one is saying literally sit next to them but you need to help them log on, monitor what they are doing and make sure assignments are turned in (check daily). You can put a desk or child near you and monitor that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a please parent your kid person - and I was this way prior to the pandemic too. If your kid comes into my home and breaks shit and you and the kid don’t care (obviously not toddlers) then you aren’t parenting your kid. It doesn’t mean getting them to do DL it means getting them to be happy, to deal w the situation at hand, to get them to learn something (omg maybe not grade level but something).

It means saying maybe my kid won’t do specials because it’s too mucus. Maybe I ask the teacher for extra assignments because that works for my kid. Having a toy for your kid to play w when they need a distraction (but teaching your kid to do it off camera). Asking the teacher if you can do a drive by so your kid can see them in real life (some kids love this and some don’t).

The parents who are going to say it’s a snow day and skip work and school (the horror) and just play a that’s parenting too.

DL sucks - no child should do it well - but reminding your kid that they are amazing for doing this, being strong. That’s parenting.

You are talking about something else. But actually, this is worth responding to because I think these issues get confused a lot.

Yes, there are some parents who, even before Covid, just aren't parenting their kids. All the other parents know this. These are the kids we run into on the playground who have no social skills and do whatever they want and their parents just stand by and talk to each other and never bother to teach or guide their kids. These are the kids who are disruptive in class or in activities, who have never done the homework, who don't have indoor voices, etc. And before you yell at me: yes, I know that many of these kids likely have undiagnosed (or maybe even diagnosed) ADHD or learning disorders and they are acting out because they just aren't getting what they need. That's the whole point -- these kids aren't getting what they need, and its frustrating because the people who are positioned to give them what they need (their parents) just... don't. So I get PP's sentiment.

But the "please parent your kid" folks during Covid are taking this sentiment and applying it to families who are struggling, no matter how hard that family is working to try and make it work. A family that can't afford tutors or full-time childcare for their elementary age kids are not failing to parent their kids, they are just under-resourced. And they know they are, so they are trying to compensate with the resources they do have, and it's miserable. When they say "We need more from the schools, we need help" they don't mean help with the fundamentals of parenting, they mean resources so that they can give their kids what they need.

Slowly, some of the schools in this area have started to figure this out and offer some of that help. The CARES classrooms in DCPS are one such example, and I am so glad that finally that is being implemented. But it took forever and in the meantime, all the parents who needed CARES classrooms were being yelled at to "please parent your kid!"

And truthfully, DL is just bad for young kids. Like actively bad for them. So "parenting your kid" in this situation sometimes means turning off the computer and finding another way. But when parents do that (and many of us are doing that), we get hounded by the teachers and then schools for absences and told our kids aren't fulfilling their requirements and that we are failing as parents. In other words, by doing exactly what this PP is saying -- responding to our kid's needs and finding a way to meet them with what resources we have available -- we are viewed by the school as failing to parent correctly.

When "parent your kid" means finding a way to force a child who hates DL and is seriously deprived (of outdoor time, social interaction, non-screen time, and just unstructured time) to sit in his chair and stare at his computer screen and meet rigid requirements for participation in a DL curriculum that is not appropriate for his age or his learning needs, then the words have no meaning anymore. Schools are forcing parents to choose between parenting their kids and fulfilling school requirements. There has always been some of that going on, but now it's pretty much the heart of the relationship between parents and schools because what schools are offering to kids is so, so bad for them. In what other circumstance would a "good parent" be one who convinces their kid to do something that is actively bad for their well being? It's so messed up.

DL is not bad for all kids. Its bad for some, especially those who don't have an active parent involved but for other kids its been great for a variety of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a please parent your kid person - and I was this way prior to the pandemic too. If your kid comes into my home and breaks shit and you and the kid don’t care (obviously not toddlers) then you aren’t parenting your kid. It doesn’t mean getting them to do DL it means getting them to be happy, to deal w the situation at hand, to get them to learn something (omg maybe not grade level but something).

It means saying maybe my kid won’t do specials because it’s too mucus. Maybe I ask the teacher for extra assignments because that works for my kid. Having a toy for your kid to play w when they need a distraction (but teaching your kid to do it off camera). Asking the teacher if you can do a drive by so your kid can see them in real life (some kids love this and some don’t).

The parents who are going to say it’s a snow day and skip work and school (the horror) and just play a that’s parenting too.

DL sucks - no child should do it well - but reminding your kid that they are amazing for doing this, being strong. That’s parenting.

You are talking about something else. But actually, this is worth responding to because I think these issues get confused a lot.

Yes, there are some parents who, even before Covid, just aren't parenting their kids. All the other parents know this. These are the kids we run into on the playground who have no social skills and do whatever they want and their parents just stand by and talk to each other and never bother to teach or guide their kids. These are the kids who are disruptive in class or in activities, who have never done the homework, who don't have indoor voices, etc. And before you yell at me: yes, I know that many of these kids likely have undiagnosed (or maybe even diagnosed) ADHD or learning disorders and they are acting out because they just aren't getting what they need. That's the whole point -- these kids aren't getting what they need, and its frustrating because the people who are positioned to give them what they need (their parents) just... don't. So I get PP's sentiment.

But the "please parent your kid" folks during Covid are taking this sentiment and applying it to families who are struggling, no matter how hard that family is working to try and make it work. A family that can't afford tutors or full-time childcare for their elementary age kids are not failing to parent their kids, they are just under-resourced. And they know they are, so they are trying to compensate with the resources they do have, and it's miserable. When they say "We need more from the schools, we need help" they don't mean help with the fundamentals of parenting, they mean resources so that they can give their kids what they need.

Slowly, some of the schools in this area have started to figure this out and offer some of that help. The CARES classrooms in DCPS are one such example, and I am so glad that finally that is being implemented. But it took forever and in the meantime, all the parents who needed CARES classrooms were being yelled at to "please parent your kid!"

And truthfully, DL is just bad for young kids. Like actively bad for them. So "parenting your kid" in this situation sometimes means turning off the computer and finding another way. But when parents do that (and many of us are doing that), we get hounded by the teachers and then schools for absences and told our kids aren't fulfilling their requirements and that we are failing as parents. In other words, by doing exactly what this PP is saying -- responding to our kid's needs and finding a way to meet them with what resources we have available -- we are viewed by the school as failing to parent correctly.

When "parent your kid" means finding a way to force a child who hates DL and is seriously deprived (of outdoor time, social interaction, non-screen time, and just unstructured time) to sit in his chair and stare at his computer screen and meet rigid requirements for participation in a DL curriculum that is not appropriate for his age or his learning needs, then the words have no meaning anymore. Schools are forcing parents to choose between parenting their kids and fulfilling school requirements. There has always been some of that going on, but now it's pretty much the heart of the relationship between parents and schools because what schools are offering to kids is so, so bad for them. In what other circumstance would a "good parent" be one who convinces their kid to do something that is actively bad for their well being? It's so messed up.

DL is not bad for all kids. Its bad for some, especially those who don't have an active parent involved but for other kids its been great for a variety of reasons.

It sounds like the pandemic is a dream come true for you. How lucky you are.

[Anonymous]

As long as we can also stop the "teachers are lazy" posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as we can also stop the "teachers are lazy" posts.

You’re unwilling to do your jobs.