Husband Said No

[Anonymous]

I'm with your husband. My first was born with a birth defect. She couldn't breathe properly. Had to be whisked to the NICU right away. If we were an hour away from a NICU she would of died. I was 32, low risk, healthy weight, and no complications.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely on your DH's side, please read the responses here carefully and reevaluate your thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google Kara Bosworth and check out her birthing center story. She didn’t want to be at a hospital because of Covid and it cost her baby his life. It’s so sad.

This. They were 4 BLOCKS from the hospital and he still died. Not worth it. Being a mom is putting your baby first rather than some vision of a zen birth experience — at 37 weeks you have a little time to take this lesson to heart. Go. To. A. Hospital.

[Anonymous]

My sister in law wanted to deliver in a birthing center. Thankfully the birthing center was connected to the hospital. Baby was fine. She wasn't and was transferred to the hospital immediately. If she delivered in a birth center not connected to a hospital or at least not a few minutes away, she wouldn't be with us today.

[Anonymous]

Adding another voice to "your husband is right". An hour is too far. My sister's lifelong best friend, who is incredibly fit and healthy and under 35, with normal, low-risk spontaneous pregnancy, nearly died giving birth to her first. If they weren't minutes from the hospital, she and the baby would not have made it.

It really drives me nuts to see "women have been giving birth naturally for centuries, these women today are weak" type comments. Those people are clearly not looking at the mortality rates before hospital births became routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister in law wanted to deliver in a birthing center. Thankfully the birthing center was connected to the hospital. Baby was fine. She wasn't and was transferred to the hospital immediately. If she delivered in a birth center not connected to a hospital or at least not a few minutes away, she wouldn't be with us today.

Two of my friends had routine pregnancies and deliveries, and then hemorrhaged after birth - liters of blood just gushing out. If they weren't at the hospital, they would not have made it an hour.

[Anonymous]

Yeah an hour away is nuts. I had an unmedicated birth for my first but hemorrhaged and passed out immediately after birth. They had to do an emergency transfusion and I would have died.

I have a friend who tried for a home birth and needed to be transferred otherwise she would have lost the baby. However the birthing center was next door to the hospital. She and baby were fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google Kara Bosworth and check out her birthing center story. She didn’t want to be at a hospital because of Covid and it cost her baby his life. It’s so sad.

That is a sad story but that baby probably would not have been in good shape in the hospital either. Maybe alive but probably brained damaged.

I'm surprised nobody detected he was 11lbs before hand.

I had a surprise limp blue baby despite continuous fetal monitoring.

No guarantees at all in child birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are what is called an "elderly primagravida". I was one. You want to be in the hospital. Both of mine were C-sections.

Lol, both of yours were c sections BECAUSE you were in a hospital.

Why do you think your reproduction organs suddenly cease to work correctly beyond 35 years of age?

Yes, statistically that is exactly what happens. I’m very surprised a midwife would allow this for a high risk mother (ama + first child=high risk)
I had a textbook perfect pregnancy and delivery at 38 right until my uterus inverted and I could have bled out. Happened to a friend of mine at home who had to be ambulances to hospital. Don’t be selfish. You need to start thinking of your family not just your comfort.

You honestly couldn't be more stupid. There is nothing that indicates this pregnancy is high risk. Being her first and over 35 aren't factors at all. Please stick to topics you're knowledgeable on or say nothing at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are what is called an "elderly primagravida". I was one. You want to be in the hospital. Both of mine were C-sections.

Lol, both of yours were c sections BECAUSE you were in a hospital.

Why do you think your reproduction organs suddenly cease to work correctly beyond 35 years of age?

Yes, statistically that is exactly what happens. I’m very surprised a midwife would allow this for a high risk mother (ama + first child=high risk)
I had a textbook perfect pregnancy and delivery at 38 right until my uterus inverted and I could have bled out. Happened to a friend of mine at home who had to be ambulances to hospital. Don’t be selfish. You need to start thinking of your family not just your comfort.

You honestly couldn't be more stupid. There is nothing that indicates this pregnancy is high risk. Being her first and over 35 aren't factors at all. Please stick to topics you're knowledgeable on or say nothing at all.

Being AMA increases the risk of pregnancy complications and stillbirth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are what is called an "elderly primagravida". I was one. You want to be in the hospital. Both of mine were C-sections.

Lol, both of yours were c sections BECAUSE you were in a hospital.

Why do you think your reproduction organs suddenly cease to work correctly beyond 35 years of age?

Yes, statistically that is exactly what happens. I’m very surprised a midwife would allow this for a high risk mother (ama + first child=high risk)
I had a textbook perfect pregnancy and delivery at 38 right until my uterus inverted and I could have bled out. Happened to a friend of mine at home who had to be ambulances to hospital. Don’t be selfish. You need to start thinking of your family not just your comfort.

You honestly couldn't be more stupid. There is nothing that indicates this pregnancy is high risk. Being her first and over 35 aren't factors at all. Please stick to topics you're knowledgeable on or say nothing at all.

NP but aggressive and wrong is no way to go through life. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25185379/

Conclusion: Elderly primigravida remains a high risk pregnancy and the incidence is high. They were significantly associated with adverse pregnancy outcomes and operative obstetric interventions. Early booking and more obstetric vigilance shall improve their pregnancy outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are what is called an "elderly primagravida". I was one. You want to be in the hospital. Both of mine were C-sections.

Lol, both of yours were c sections BECAUSE you were in a hospital.

Why do you think your reproduction organs suddenly cease to work correctly beyond 35 years of age?

Yes, statistically that is exactly what happens. I’m very surprised a midwife would allow this for a high risk mother (ama + first child=high risk)
I had a textbook perfect pregnancy and delivery at 38 right until my uterus inverted and I could have bled out. Happened to a friend of mine at home who had to be ambulances to hospital. Don’t be selfish. You need to start thinking of your family not just your comfort.

You honestly couldn't be more stupid. There is nothing that indicates this pregnancy is high risk. Being her first and over 35 aren't factors at all. Please stick to topics you're knowledgeable on or say nothing at all.

The pregnancy could be extremely low risk but then turn out to require medical intervention. Why take the risk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google Kara Bosworth and check out her birthing center story. She didn’t want to be at a hospital because of Covid and it cost her baby his life. It’s so sad.

That is a sad story but that baby probably would not have been in good shape in the hospital either. Maybe alive but probably brained damaged.

I'm surprised nobody detected he was 11lbs before hand.

I had a surprise limp blue baby despite continuous fetal monitoring.

No guarantees at all in child birth.

Those pre-birth measurements are notoriously wrong. I had two relatives that had 11 pound babies -- both were vaginal, unmedicated births in hospitals with no injury to baby. One mom had a third degree tear, and I think the other had an episiotomy, though. In the news article I read, it didn't mention whether the midwife did an episiotomy to try to get the baby out or what other specific steps she took. I think once the head is out, you can't do a C-section anyway, so it seems like a midwife would have been able to do whatever a hospital doctor could do -- although I wonder whether he would have received quicker resuscitation in a hospital.

[Anonymous]

2 of my babies wouldn't be alive if not delivered in a hospital

[Anonymous]

Is your desire for this kind of experience. 1 hour away, worth the risk of your baby’s life IF there is a complication?