Husband Said No

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised a birthing center would be located that far away from a hospital. Can you find one that is closer to a hospital?

FYI First time births are a bit riskier

Don't assume that at 37 weeks it is too late to change providers. You might be filling a gap in someone's patient roster and they'll be happy to take you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with husband. I had a home birth which was a disaster and wish I'd listened to everyone who told me that hospital was best. It is, of course, your decision but if you are in the alleged only 1% that needs intervention (which everyone told me but was wrong) it could be a life or death situation. Given the risks, it's not worth it.

50% of home birth attempts in Ontario of 1st time moms end up in the hospital. Something like 1/3 of those are women giving up and wanting an epidural and most of the rest of the 2/3 are "pink flags" i.e. warnings that it might be going sideways, so the transfer happened before it was a disaster, but still there is a 50/50 chance your home birth will stay at home. I would assume birth centers are roughly similar

[Anonymous]

Oh please. Just don’t. Your husband is right.

https://www.skepticalob.com/2012/02/doubtful-fathers-guide-to-homebirth.html

[Anonymous]

This isn’t about you having a certain type of birth experience. This is about your baby being born safely and both you and s/he being with trained medical doctors if either of you has a birth-related issue. Seconds count during traumatic births, not minutes and certainly not an hour drive.

Consider this the first big lesson in being a new first time mother: you stop thinking about what you want and focus instead on what’s the best for your child.

[Anonymous]

Can the birth center give you a transfusion? A lot of problems can be solved with a transfusion. Without it, a bemmorhage can kill you in about 15 minutes. It’s like being shot in an artery—the blood just gushes out.

[Anonymous]

I know someone whose baby died from shoulder dystocia during a home birth. Since then my threshold question is whether the facility could handle a shoulder dystocia that doesn’t respond to labor maneuvers and requires an emergency csection. So, birth center attached to a hospital would be fine. One an hour away from the OR would not be fine.

[Anonymous]

Google Kara Bosworth and check out her birthing center story. She didn’t want to be at a hospital because of Covid and it cost her baby his life. It’s so sad.

[Anonymous]

Way too risky. My third with no risk factors (I was 34) would be dead if we had used a birth center. Stuff comes up that can’t be predicted.

My hospital wasn’t hectic at all. Even with my first, my husband and I were often alone or with just the nurse sitting quietly in the corner. She would have helped but I turn inward in labor, as do many women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is just about the worst place to ask for advice regarding an oit of hospital or natural birth.

With that said, I'd make a deal with your DH that you birth in a hospital this time but next time you can go to a birth center or have the midwives come to your home, whichever you prefer. Make sure you take a natural birth class and understand all of the interventions they'll try to coerce you into. As you can see from this thread, empowerment for natural birthing methods is severely lacking in this country and especially this region.

I gave birth in a hospital and no one tried to coerce me into a single intervention. Indeed, the L&D nurses were very supportive of my unmedicated birth.

A birthing center an hour from a hospital for a FTM is risky. Lots of people are recommending a birthing center attached to a hospital, or a midwife practice that delivers at or near a hospital. Both are a good balance of risk.

[Anonymous]

I used a birth center and would do so again. But an hour away from the nearest hospital? Where on earth are you located? I live in rural Minnesota (like, very rural northwoods Minnesota) and I can't think of anywhere that was a full hour from even a basic community hospital.

FWIW, I was 36, FTM, and had an utterly uneventful, if crazy fast labor and delivery.

[Anonymous]

An hour from the nearest hospital is a non-starter. And I'm having a baby at a birth center, uh, well, he's due on Monday, so any day now. Where are you located? Maybe we can help you find a birth center that's closer to a hospital.

[Anonymous]

I hate to say it but at 37 you are an older first time mom and it is not a good idea to be so far away from the hospital. Think of it this way, if anything should happen to the baby would you be OK with it just because you didn’t want a “chaotic” birth? I think you would have a lot of regrets, pain and sadness about your choice.

I delivered healthy children in a hospital setting when I was in my 20s and did not find it chaotic at all. Believe me, none of that will ultimately matter once you have your baby in your arms and it will not make a difference. But if something were to go wrong you want to be closer to medical help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is just about the worst place to ask for advice regarding an oit of hospital or natural birth.

With that said, I'd make a deal with your DH that you birth in a hospital this time but next time you can go to a birth center or have the midwives come to your home, whichever you prefer. Make sure you take a natural birth class and understand all of the interventions they'll try to coerce you into. As you can see from this thread, empowerment for natural birthing methods is severely lacking in this country and especially this region.

The compromise should be that you'll find a birth center closer to a hospital next time. Yes, it's completely safe to give birth without any sort of medical intervention most of the time, but you don't want to be AN HOUR away from a hospital when an intervention is needed.

[Anonymous]

NOPE. Watch the new Netflix movie "Piece of a Woman" if you need a wake up call. You do not want to be an hour away form emergency care if something goes awry.

[Anonymous]

You don’t want to find out that you should have been at the hospital after the fact.