When did your high schoolers become sexually active?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD #1 was 18 (college freshman). DS is 27 and still a virgin (asexual). DD #2 is 25 and still a virgin (social anxiety).

I think I have a kid who's going to be like this. 17 and absolutely no interaction with girls whatsoever. However, I don't think he's gay either.

What did that look like for you? What's his life like now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s funny that so many of you think you know.

How old are you and how old are your kids?

I’m 35 and I didn’t tell my parents anything.

My brother is 19 and my sister is 18. Both of them tell their parents everything. Everything. Drugs. Sex. Drinking. Everything. My parents call me in horror all the time and I have to tell them, don’t worry, I did coke/had sex/passed out on a frat house lawn and all was well.

I don’t get it but these younger kids overshare like crazy.

I think it’s a social media effect.

Interesting. Both of these are so interesting to me, also 37. I would rather die than tell my parents about all my shitty decisions while partying (although I didn't do coke) as a young adult and we have a great relationship, but it just seems silly to share that with your parents who love you and want more than anything for you to be safe and healthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is an D1 athlete and he is a lead singer/guitarist in the band; unfortunately his Tiger mom held him back from sexual activities during his high school years. Now he is away at college, he is having sex with at least 100+ young women so far because of his athlete and musician status. I know this because he is texting his best friend and cousin explicit pictures and my nephew told me about it. Just hope that he protects himself but it is what it is.

You post about this A LOT

It never gets uncreepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And this is why my kids attend single sex schools . i only have to worry about weekends.


I suppose there's also teachers but at least their girlfriends aren't there to hanky panky in the bathroom during recess.

I know a lot of people who attended single sex schools. There’s still a lot of opportunities to have sex at school!

+1000 + LMAO. Anyone thinking single sex school environments means chastity is in for rude awakening.

No one thinks that. It does mean fewer opportunities though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s funny that so many of you think you know.

I think it's sad that you've created an environment with your child where they can't talk to you about sex honestly.

NP here. My husband and I created an open environment with our kids about sex and all that goes with sex (pregnancy, disease, emotional readiness). They knew that we thought sex in high school can be tricky and definitely not idea, but that we understood circumstances. We even discussed birth control, if they became sexually active or were seriously considering it. We talk and listen to our kids about a variety of topics that are not always comfortable, but we want the door open so we can guide them the best we can.

That being said, our 16 year old daughter had sex with her bf. Despite our discussions and education regarding birth control, etc, our daughter did not come to us. We had expected her to come to us when and if sex occurred (or ideally just before) so that we could get her birth control (hopefully, in addition to condoms). Well, we found out about her being sexually active from her best friend. Seems our daughter and her bf had sex and in the weeks after, they became nervous about pregnancy. Ugh. Our daughter shared none of this, with us, but did tell her best girlfriend, who in turn, got concerned and told us.

The good news is that pregnancy did not occur. The bad news, is that our daughter did not tell us that she was active, despite being very reasonable parents. When we asked her why she did not tell us, so that we could get her an IUD or BCP, her answer was:

"He (the boyfriend) told me not to tell anyone, especially you guys, because he was afraid that his parents would find out and punish him"

Basically, our 16 year old, had the lack of maturity to know that her own welfare , and that of a possible baby, did not take priority over the chance of her boyfriend getting punished. Her bf was obviously too immature to see how insane his thinking was.... T

So, it is not always the case that kids will tell their parents, despite having an open, reasonable environment. I also never told my own parents, who were fairly open. The reason why I never told my parents was because I knew that they did not think sex in HS was idea.

It's more complicated that having an open environment where parents are approachable and reasonable.

This is absolutely right. I had a similar experience with my DD. I suspected she was on the brink of having sex with a BF and had had lots of conversations about safe sex etc. She denied it, but I eventually confirmed when I read a text between she and a girlfriend. She also asked to be on BC to stop "painful cramps" that conveniently became a real nuisance around the same time. We got the BC started as requested, and while I don't know why she wouldn't tell me. . . she didn't. She may have been concerned I would tell BF's mom or she maybe just didn't want to discuss with her mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please answer age and gender.

If your answer is not yet, don’t bother responding. That’s not the info I’m looking for.

Can I ask why? Whatever info you are trying to discern about a certain activity is not complete if you don't include those who are not (yet) doing that activity. Its like asking when your kindergartener could read chapter books. If everyone chimes in with a different month of the school year it makes it look like that all of them are doing this, when its a completely incomplete picture if 40% of the kids are not reading chapter books at all yet.

Original question makes perfect sense. I think we all know there will be virgins of various ages. That’s not what is asked. It’s asking when did your child lose his or her virginity.

[Anonymous]

15 y/o daughter. Disappointing considering all of the discussions and education provided. We are not lenient and not strict, but it would have Never happened at our home. No way.

Seems, the boyfriends parents (who promised to keep them in the main level great room), let them go to the basement to "watch a movie".

I was mad at myself for believing the boys parents when they told me that they would adequately supervise. They didn't. Would be a lot less irritated if she were 17.

[Anonymous]

Graduation week. So I suppose that barely counts but still living at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please answer age and gender.

If your answer is not yet, don’t bother responding. That’s not the info I’m looking for.

Please specify:

"Sexual active" includes different forms of manual stimulation, like fingering or handjobs, dry humping or other genital-to-genital contact, rimming or other types of oral sex, and anal penetration.

Do you even have teens at home? If you answer is no don't bother...

This. Be direct and specific with these kids. A child who masturbates may tell you they are sexually active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Younger girl, until they got married,
older girl 17
Oldest girl mid way in college we think but the relationship stopped even before we could have investigated

What exactly would you have investigated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15 y/o daughter. Disappointing considering all of the discussions and education provided. We are not lenient and not strict, but it would have Never happened at our home. No way.

Seems, the boyfriends parents (who promised to keep them in the main level great room), let them go to the basement to "watch a movie".

I was mad at myself for believing the boys parents when they told me that they would adequately supervise. They didn't. Would be a lot less irritated if she were 17.

It would have happened somewhere though— car, school, anywhere really.. This is not on them, it’s on your daughter and her boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is an D1 athlete and he is a lead singer/guitarist in the band; unfortunately his Tiger mom held him back from sexual activities during his high school years. Now he is away at college, he is having sex with at least 100+ young women so far because of his athlete and musician status. I know this because he is texting his best friend and cousin explicit pictures and my nephew told me about it. Just hope that he protects himself but it is what it is.

Protects himself and his sex partner. Really 100+? That does not sound too healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is why my kids attend single sex schools . i only have to worry about weekends.


I suppose there's also teachers but at least their girlfriends aren't there to hanky panky in the bathroom during recess.

Because no lesbian or bisexual ever attended a single sex school. Smart thinking!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 y/o daughter. Disappointing considering all of the discussions and education provided. We are not lenient and not strict, but it would have Never happened at our home. No way.

Seems, the boyfriends parents (who promised to keep them in the main level great room), let them go to the basement to "watch a movie".

I was mad at myself for believing the boys parents when they told me that they would adequately supervise. They didn't. Would be a lot less irritated if she were 17.

It would have happened somewhere though— car, school, anywhere really.. This is not on them, it’s on your daughter and her boyfriend.

^^^ Disagree. The boy's parents were responsible. The girl was 15. 15. Not age of consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD #1 was 18 (college freshman). DS is 27 and still a virgin (asexual). DD #2 is 25 and still a virgin (social anxiety).

I think I have a kid who's going to be like this. 17 and absolutely no interaction with girls whatsoever. However, I don't think he's gay either.

What did that look like for you? What's his life like now?

Honestly, for me it’s been sad, only because I had to get past the idea that he’ll never have kids. However, he’s not aromantic. He had one 2-year long relationship with someone, only they weren’t sexually active. I’m always having to remind myself that it only matters that he’s happy. And his life, right now, is rewarding to him. He has a well-paid job, he lives in a nice apartment, he has regular online chats with old friends from high school and college, and he has a few local friends. His need for companionship is low, since he’s an introvert in addition to being asexual.