I have to beg or ask my husband 50+ times for everything. what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I physically can’t carry the stuff down the narrow little ladder.

Wait--why exactly can't you physically carry stuff down the narrow little ladder? Pretty sure none of this stuff weighs 60+ pounds so unless you have some kind of serious physical limitation I'll bet anything you are as physically capable of this task as he is. Or is he just that much taller than you? Why not make this a team effort anyway and you BOTH haul the stuff down? Safer anyway than one person hauling anything down a ladder. And as for the tree, much easier if one can push it down through the opening with a second below to receive it. So, like, go pull the ladder down and say "Larlo, I need a hand here".

Most of the items are in huge tupperware bins that are hard for me to handle especially climbing up and down. He's 6'3, I am 5'2.

You are creating ridiculous excuses. If you want the Christmas decorations down, you can get them down. If you are not physically able then you really need to start working out. That should be a bigger priority than house decorating.

Oh shatup. You don’t know anything about OP, her health, nothing. Your condescending judgment is derailing and it’s not like she’s going to go and start benching weights because some Internet rando told her to.

If you find the comment derailing, then don’t respond. Seems to have touched a nerve tho...

[Anonymous]

We need to do x because (reason). If you can do x this weekend, that would be really helpful. If you can’t get x done by Tuesday, I’ll hire someone to do it for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I physically can’t carry the stuff down the narrow little ladder.

Wait--why exactly can't you physically carry stuff down the narrow little ladder? Pretty sure none of this stuff weighs 60+ pounds so unless you have some kind of serious physical limitation I'll bet anything you are as physically capable of this task as he is. Or is he just that much taller than you? Why not make this a team effort anyway and you BOTH haul the stuff down? Safer anyway than one person hauling anything down a ladder. And as for the tree, much easier if one can push it down through the opening with a second below to receive it. So, like, go pull the ladder down and say "Larlo, I need a hand here".

Most of the items are in huge tupperware bins that are hard for me to handle especially climbing up and down. He's 6'3, I am 5'2.

You are creating ridiculous excuses. If you want the Christmas decorations down, you can get them down. If you are not physically able then you really need to start working out. That should be a bigger priority than house decorating.

Oh shatup. You don’t know anything about OP, her health, nothing. Your condescending judgment is derailing and it’s not like she’s going to go and start benching weights because some Internet rando told her to.

If you find the comment derailing, then don’t respond. Seems to have touched a nerve tho...

Your mother wasted her money by putting you in private school. Go find a will smith gif to post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing that is frustrating is he doesn’t let me do it how I want. Like when I suggest storing the holiday stuff on the garage shelves he has 1 million reasons why that is a bad idea. We ordered a piece of furniture that was missing the hardware and I got all the paperwork done and set up for it to be returned. He fought me tooth and nail to give him a chance to go to a hardware store and buy it. When he couldn’t get the size we needed and the manufacturer said it would be an 8 week delay, he still refused and said to give him a chance instead of returning it for a new one. 2 months later and the bed is still lying in a heap on the floor, unable to be put together and no resolution or follow up to figure out how to get the parts yet he insisted I don’t return it. It’s stuff like this that makes me crazy. He just doesn’t see things all the way through yet wants to control it. Why does he care? Just move out of the way and let me return the thing! We lost almost $1k bc now we are past the return period.

Just return stuff like the bed. Weather his anger. You need to take control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need to do x because (reason). If you can do x this weekend, that would be really helpful. If you can’t get x done by Tuesday, I’ll hire someone to do it for us.

This. Stop asking him for permission to outsource. Give him a deadline and then just do it. You need to grow more of a spine, OP. Your husband sounds like a mess and things will only get worse unless you do.

[Anonymous]

I would make it clear that I am not putting up decorations until he gets them out. I have asked multiple times, and now remembering to get the decorations down is off my to do list and on his.
Then I would just forget about it.

[Anonymous]

OP: my (short) sister says put the stuff in the basement or his side of the bed after he takes it down this year. She stopped putting stuff up there because she could physically get there. She said she would find any place other than there and reduce decor items to one tub. She’s beyond asking anyone for anything at this point.

It’s not easy being a little.

[Anonymous]

100 percent the answer is to hire a handyman.

Make a list of everything you need done and have him come once a quarter to check items off.

Don't ask permission - just hire and pay.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read all the responses but I would buy a tree that I'm capable of bringing down from the attic or not store the tree in the attic. Also, could it be that he doesn't feel the need to decorate as early as you do. Its not even Thanksgiving. When you are asking for help you subject yourself to the helpers time frame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean he just doesn't get it? Does he forget?
Give him a time tomorrow to do it that you know he's free. "husband, at 3 pm tomorrow, I need you to go into the attic and get the tree. I'll remind you at 245."

Always has some reason it’s not the right time, puts things off, says he will get to it but never does.

My DH does this, too--drives me nuts. It's a control issue--he can't stand the feeling that someone else is telling him what to do with his time. Sigh. I have done some combination of: sucking it up and doing it myself even though it's difficult or uncomfortable for me, getting a handyman or someone else to do it, letting it go, or starting a sideways conversation that leads him to think whatever it is is at his own initiative. It's annoying and sometimes exhausting, but I've accepted it for what it is and am over being angry about it. That helps.

[Anonymous]

Wait, seriously. Is everyone already decorating for Christmas already?? It's not even thanksgiving yet!! Hold your horses!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100 percent the answer is to hire a handyman.

Make a list of everything you need done and have him come once a quarter to check items off.

Don't ask permission - just hire and pay.

This is easier said than done. There aren’t a lot of people willing to do this.

[Anonymous]

I have the same issue with my husband and it’s depressing. Always wants to put off doing everything. It’s incredibly annoying and frustrating. Outsource what you can. Nothing else you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Empowered wife by Laura Doyle

This book is garbage. Stop recommending it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, seriously. Is everyone already decorating for Christmas already?? It's not even thanksgiving yet!! Hold your horses!

Christmas is in a month. You are wasting exclamation points!!!