Your child is a spoiled brat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Puh-leaze! People have been going on about "kids these days" for 40, 50 years. Probably longer. Some people are good parents, some people aren't. Sometimes, the behavior you witness is a child at its worst. Sometimes it is the normal behavior for the child. But at the end of the day, MYOB.

If you could puh-leaze control your kids so they aren't a problem for other people, that would be great.

Sure, parents have always had issues with kids doing things behind their backs. But I think the last ten to twenty years is the first time that children do really bad things right to a parent's face. And why? Because they totally get away with it. They aren't yanked off the playground. If they do something bad at someone's house, no one is making them apologize to their hosts and fix whatever they did. They get wussy reprimands like "you're not making good choices". The parents are either so conflict-avoiding or have their heads up some parenting guru's ass that they don't know how to put a child in their place when they do something wrong. It's pathetic.

I get a two year old that misbehaves right in front of a parent. That's a lack of impulse control. But when a six or seven year old does it, the parents aren't doing their job.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't always assume that of an older child who misbehaves. Parents cannot control how a child acts. The best they can do is react to it in an appropriate way. For example, my son went out to dinner w/ my niece (6) and nephew (3). The kids started bugging each other and the 6 yr old picked up her juice and dumped it on her brother's head. She had obviously reached her limit and that is how she reacted. Is that the right way to react? Nope. Should she have done something differently? Yes. But it is in no way her mother's fault that she reacted that way. It isn't because her parents aren't doing their job. Now, if she had a history of acting like this for years, perhaps it is something her parents should've addressed before now.

[Anonymous]

MYOB is hard to do when they are in your house, engaging in the latest round of bad behaviour with no comment from Mom or Dad. I usually end up disciplining in my house, regardless of whose child it is, if the parents don't step up to it. "My house, my rules" with a semi-smile. My kids try to 'help' their friends out with "we're not allowed to jump on the couch" or whatever. Even if my kids were allowed to jump on our couch, I'd never let them to that at someone else's house..but, eh, I digress.

Why are you friends with these people? If they are such awful parents, maybe you shouldn't invite them over to your house. How is it fun for you to have to discipline your friend's children in your house? Cut them off. If that means you have to cut off all your friends . . . maybe the problem is YOU.

[Anonymous]

If you could puh-leaze control your kids so they aren't a problem for other people, that would be great.

Sure, parents have always had issues with kids doing things behind their backs. But I think the last ten to twenty years is the first time that children do really bad things right to a parent's face. And why? Because they totally get away with it. They aren't yanked off the playground. If they do something bad at someone's house, no one is making them apologize to their hosts and fix whatever they did. They get wussy reprimands like "you're not making good choices". The parents are either so conflict-avoiding or have their heads up some parenting guru's ass that they don't know how to put a child in their place when they do something wrong. It's pathetic.

I get a two year old that misbehaves right in front of a parent. That's a lack of impulse control. But when a six or seven year old does it, the parents aren't doing their job.

It is not your problem if your friend lets her kid spit in her face. It isn't a problem for you. It is her problem. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

No one is complaining about parents whose kids behave badly, if the parent does react in an appropriate way. OP's complaint is that some parents don't do anything and just let the kids run wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you could puh-leaze control your kids so they aren't a problem for other people, that would be great.

Sure, parents have always had issues with kids doing things behind their backs. But I think the last ten to twenty years is the first time that children do really bad things right to a parent's face. And why? Because they totally get away with it. They aren't yanked off the playground. If they do something bad at someone's house, no one is making them apologize to their hosts and fix whatever they did. They get wussy reprimands like "you're not making good choices". The parents are either so conflict-avoiding or have their heads up some parenting guru's ass that they don't know how to put a child in their place when they do something wrong. It's pathetic.

I get a two year old that misbehaves right in front of a parent. That's a lack of impulse control. But when a six or seven year old does it, the parents aren't doing their job.

It is not your problem if your friend lets her kid spit in her face. It isn't a problem for you. It is her problem. MYOB.

It is my problem if my kid sees it and starts to think that behavior is OK. Which is why we all avoid moms like the friend.

[Anonymous]

No one is complaining about parents whose kids behave badly, if the parent does react in an appropriate way. OP's complaint is that some parents don't do anything and just let the kids run wild.

How is it your problem if another parent lets her kid run wild? I've seen the little monsters out in public. I generally ignore them and their parents. If their behavior somehow starts to impact us, I intervene. I've never, ever had another parent say anything - if they cared in the first place, they would have done it themselves. I don't see what the big deal is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you could puh-leaze control your kids so they aren't a problem for other people, that would be great.

Sure, parents have always had issues with kids doing things behind their backs. But I think the last ten to twenty years is the first time that children do really bad things right to a parent's face. And why? Because they totally get away with it. They aren't yanked off the playground. If they do something bad at someone's house, no one is making them apologize to their hosts and fix whatever they did. They get wussy reprimands like "you're not making good choices". The parents are either so conflict-avoiding or have their heads up some parenting guru's ass that they don't know how to put a child in their place when they do something wrong. It's pathetic.

I get a two year old that misbehaves right in front of a parent. That's a lack of impulse control. But when a six or seven year old does it, the parents aren't doing their job.



It is not your problem if your friend lets her kid spit in her face. It isn't a problem for you. It is her problem. MYOB.


It is my problem if my kid sees it and starts to think that behavior is OK. Which is why we all avoid moms like the friend.

Really? But if you are such a good parent that has such good control over your child, this shouldn't be a problem for you. Unless, of course, sometimes your child becomes out of control and does things that embarrass you in public. Then you'd be . . . just like "the friend."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

MYOB is hard to do when they are in your house, engaging in the latest round of bad behaviour with no comment from Mom or Dad. I usually end up disciplining in my house, regardless of whose child it is, if the parents don't step up to it. "My house, my rules" with a semi-smile. My kids try to 'help' their friends out with "we're not allowed to jump on the couch" or whatever. Even if my kids were allowed to jump on our couch, I'd never let them to that at someone else's house..but, eh, I digress.

Why are you friends with these people? If they are such awful parents, maybe you shouldn't invite them over to your house. How is it fun for you to have to discipline your friend's children in your house? Cut them off. If that means you have to cut off all your friends . . . maybe the problem is YOU.

I'm really sick of snotty bitches like you. Am neither speaking directly to you, nor accusing you of anything. Merely offering an example. I shouldn't actually have to explain this particular incident in full--but in fact, the parents weren't friends of ours, in spite of the fact that they were at our house. Don't you have anything better to do than to try to jump on every individual response from someone and pick on that individual to make it about them? Seriously, fuck off back to whatever hole you crawled out off. Really really tired of you.

[Anonymous]

I'm really sick of snotty bitches like you. Am neither speaking directly to you, nor accusing you of anything. Merely offering an example. I shouldn't actually have to explain this particular incident in full--but in fact, the parents weren't friends of ours, in spite of the fact that they were at our house. Don't you have anything better to do than to try to jump on every individual response from someone and pick on that individual to make it about them? Seriously, fuck off back to whatever hole you crawled out off. Really really tired of you.

Now that I see more of your personality, I understand why you are friends with people who are horrible parents. You are all sweetness and peaches. I'll bet your kids teach all their friends the "colorful words" you use when you are angry at total strangers - and then you pretend that they MUST have learned the bad words from their friends. Nice, lady. You need to take another prozac, drink some wine, and try to find some real problems to worry about.

[Anonymous]

I'm really sick of snotty bitches like you. Am neither speaking directly to you, nor accusing you of anything. Merely offering an example. I shouldn't actually have to explain this particular incident in full--but in fact, the parents weren't friends of ours, in spite of the fact that they were at our house. Don't you have anything better to do than to try to jump on every individual response from someone and pick on that individual to make it about them? Seriously, fuck off back to whatever hole you crawled out off. Really really tired of you.

Hi, I'm part of a discussion but I'm not actually talking to anyone in the discussion, so don't respond to my post. And if I give an example that doesn't make sense, don't question me on it because I'm not going to offer further details. In fact, I'll just demonstrate poor parenting skills by swearing at people who question me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you could puh-leaze control your kids so they aren't a problem for other people, that would be great.

Sure, parents have always had issues with kids doing things behind their backs. But I think the last ten to twenty years is the first time that children do really bad things right to a parent's face. And why? Because they totally get away with it. They aren't yanked off the playground. If they do something bad at someone's house, no one is making them apologize to their hosts and fix whatever they did. They get wussy reprimands like "you're not making good choices". The parents are either so conflict-avoiding or have their heads up some parenting guru's ass that they don't know how to put a child in their place when they do something wrong. It's pathetic.

I get a two year old that misbehaves right in front of a parent. That's a lack of impulse control. But when a six or seven year old does it, the parents aren't doing their job.



It is not your problem if your friend lets her kid spit in her face. It isn't a problem for you. It is her problem. MYOB.


It is my problem if my kid sees it and starts to think that behavior is OK. Which is why we all avoid moms like the friend.

Really? But if you are such a good parent that has such good control over your child, this shouldn't be a problem for you. Unless, of course, sometimes your child becomes out of control and does things that embarrass you in public. Then you'd be . . . just like "the friend."

It is pathetic that you are even defending this situation. Are you actually siding with a mother who does nothing about a child who spits at her? I don't let my kids watch bad things on TV, and I'm not about to let my boy see another male do something degrading to a woman and even more a mother. That is part of being a good parent, to keep children away from bad influences. If this is not obvious to you, maybe you need to read another parenting book.

And to the mother who does nothing when she gets spit on, I say have some frickin self respect.

[Anonymous]

I love lax parents. Every time I hear a parent say, "Now Everrett/Mary, is it nice to kick the cat? How do you fink the wittle kittie feels when you do that?" or see them ignore their kids' spitting, hitting, disrespectful speech as toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary schoolers, I see dollar signs. Those kids are inevitable future clients for me.

Keep up the poor parenting, DC Metro!

[Anonymous]

I honestly have not seen many children behave badly without parental intervention. I guess I travel in different circles, or perhaps I'm just not a fault finder!

[Anonymous]

It is pathetic that you are even defending this situation. Are you actually siding with a mother who does nothing about a child who spits at her? I don't let my kids watch bad things on TV, and I'm not about to let my boy see another male do something degrading to a woman and even more a mother. That is part of being a good parent, to keep children away from bad influences. If this is not obvious to you, maybe you need to read another parenting book.

And to the mother who does nothing when she gets spit on, I say have some frickin self respect.

One of my best friends has a little girl who used to spit in her face during tantrums. First time she ever did it was during a daycare pick up. She was mortified. Mortified. She just bundled the girl into her jacket and left, she was so embarassed. Judgmental parents who observed probably thought she was a bad parent who did nothing in response. She ended up coming up with a plan to deal with the behavior, but to her daughter it was like how biting is to some little ones. The more you respond, the more they do it. Ask the parents of a biter - sometimes it is really, really hard to stop the behavior. But, with a solid plan for dealing with it, you can. My friend dealt with it.

I'm just saying a lot of these horrid instances you are observing might just be some of the kids' worst moments. Imagine your worst public moment with your child. Some tantrum, aggressive behavior on the playground, or really just any time your kid didn't listen to you. No matter how you responded or "parented" your child at the moment, you should know that the other parents who observed you were judging you and probably disagreeing with you.