Wife Spending Too Much

[Anonymous]

Is she a SAHM or going to be?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is a lot but you have the money and she is nesting.

[Anonymous]

I think you are overreacting because the bulk of it is one-time expenses and the other is stuff you will use over time and would have bought anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do not need 4 play gyms. No one should ever buy multiple sets of bottles because you don’t know what kind of bottle the baby will drink from. Babies don’t play with toys until they’re much older books are pretty useless until they are at least six or eight months old, but they are nice to have for when you need them. The $1200 bass and that’s a little much because bassinets only last about four months. That money could’ve been spent on a crib. My bassinet was $200 and I used it for two kids I also then sold it for $80 when I was done with it. A 5K baby registry is a bit much.

OP here. We bought a crib. She wanted to get The Snoo because she heard good things about it.

Relax. They have excellent resale value. She’ll probably be able to sell it for 80% of what you paid for it. It’s not magic for everybody, but it’s a lifesaver for those for whom it is magic. If you can afford it, it’s not a foolish purchase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

Is she about 7 months along?
This is totally normal behavior. Maybe you should get a parenting book.

Do you know anything about physical and psychological changes women go through during pregnancy? Pretty soon, she is going to start getting up multiple times at night to pee. About three days after the baby is born, she is going to have a huge hormone shift and start crying all of the time about nothing for a few days.

OP here. No. We are having a baby at the end of the month. She’s like 37 weeks pregnant.

You are about to become a family of 3 , possibly in a matter of days! You should feel ashamed of yourself, that your wife was the one to do all this. be grateful she is trying to plan ahead.

Go kiss your wife, OP! She is a genuis and it will all pay off!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

WHAT?!?!? OP you have an EXCELLENT wife. You should be excited you picked someone so brilliant and prepared to birth your child. I'm totally serious. Leave your computer right now and go give her a kiss and say thank you. Come back to us if this continues to be a problem in 6 months, thought I suspect it will not.

[Anonymous]

Op seriously grow up

You are having a baby face it

Honestly you don’t sound too thrilled as you referred to your baby as “that baby”

6 months clothing. You do know we’re in a pandemic right? She’s making sure that you don’t have to stress and leave out to purchase stuff for a while

Leave your wife tf alone

And just be supportive because you are in for a rude awakening

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a hoarder. I have two kids and I personally minimized the baby stuff. Who likes plastic crap lying around? Got rid of it by donating or giving to friends as soon as we were done with at every stage. Also got the kids out of strollers early so they could walk and not grow up obese and lazy. Finding the right baby carrier is worth it. A bassinet is useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op seriously grow up

You are having a baby face it

Honestly you don’t sound too thrilled as you referred to your baby as “that baby”

6 months clothing. You do know we’re in a pandemic right? She’s making sure that you don’t have to stress and leave out to purchase stuff for a while

Leave your wife tf alone

And just be supportive because you are in for a rude awakening

OP here. I never referred to my child as “ that baby”. I have always said “ the baby” on here. Our child is and will be very loved. The baby was planned and we are both very thrilled!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a hoarder. I have two kids and I personally minimized the baby stuff. Who likes plastic crap lying around? Got rid of it by donating or giving to friends as soon as we were done with at every stage. Also got the kids out of strollers early so they could walk and not grow up obese and lazy. Finding the right baby carrier is worth it. A bassinet is useless.

You’re very warped and sad. I will pray for your kids. Good thing that money you saved can be used towards your children’s therapy. What a bad parent you are.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I spend almost nothing on my kids (everything thrift shop or Craigslist, recently spent a few hundred on homeschool curricula)

However if you can afford it I would just ask her to cut back a little and remember that while there are savings they arent infinite.

It is normal for women to nest in late pregnancy and perhaps point her to an organizing project instead of spending money project.

My kids don't have a nursery and sleep in pack and plays until beds, but I don't expect others to do that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

Honestly, you should be asking yourself why you didn’t think of this stuff and discuss with your wife.

Your baby isn’t even both yet and already she is doing all the work and planning.

If you want to have more say in the expenditures then you need to approach her and say, “Wow baby, you did so much, thank you. I want to be your 50% coparent. Let’s sit down because I’d like to make up a schedule for feedings that I can take on, middle of the night duty and plan when you’re going to get your “me” time and rest.”

Have you been involved in finding child care or are you just pawning that off on your wife too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

Honestly, you should be asking yourself why you didn’t think of this stuff and discuss with your wife.

Your baby isn’t even both yet and already she is doing all the work and planning.

If you want to have more say in the expenditures then you need to approach her and say, “Wow baby, you did so much, thank you. I want to be your 50% coparent. Let’s sit down because I’d like to make up a schedule for feedings that I can take on, middle of the night duty and plan when you’re going to get your “me” time and rest.”

Have you been involved in finding child care or are you just pawning that off on your wife too?

If you did none of the work/planning but felt it was fine to come in when everything is done and criticize choices and costs or ask for cutbacks, then I would seriously rethink our marital relationship. A mom/wife is not another direct report whose work you oversee and manage.

[Anonymous]

Nesting hormones are no joke. My DH still ribs me for the insane amount of Amazon deliveries, cooking and cleaning (gotta vacuum horizontally and vertically or it’s not clean!) before our first was born.

Re. all the baby stuff - every first time pregnant woman (except maybe $20 baby carrier lady who got the cookie) thinks that they need this or that. And every experienced mom tells her she doesn’t need half of it. But the advice gets ignored and the cycle continues.

You have the money? Its her first kid - let her enjoy it. I think it helps you feel just a little more confident when you are over prepared. There’s only so much you have in your control but all the baby crap is one.

Good luck. And please learn about some of the things she bought, what they are for and how to use them.

[Anonymous]

She’s organized and type A, not a bad thing, and panic buying because she’s having a baby during a pandemic which had to be extra stressful. Probably some of it will turn out to be unnecessary but it’s understandable. Might reassure her that Amazon prime can deliver most of what you need down the road for the baby so maybe you don’t need to stock up quite so much, but sticking up on paper products and such you will use eventually seems like no big deal.