Wife Spending Too Much

[Anonymous]

OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s nesting. Whether you are overreacting or not really depends on whether or not you have the money. If she is going into credit card debt, then you are not overreacting. If, on the other hand, she is an anesthesiologist and makes $400k/yr, or she has been saving money for years in order to make a big splurge, then let her spend some of it on the baby without a big guilt trip from you.

OP here. She doesn’t make that much but we do have a good HHI with plenty of savings.

Your combined HHI is all that matter in these kinds of things. Do you know how much money you would have to pay a surrogate to carry your baby?

um..what does a surrogate have to do with OPs situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s nesting. Whether you are overreacting or not really depends on whether or not you have the money. If she is going into credit card debt, then you are not overreacting. If, on the other hand, she is an anesthesiologist and makes $400k/yr, or she has been saving money for years in order to make a big splurge, then let her spend some of it on the baby without a big guilt trip from you.

OP here. She doesn’t make that much but we do have a good HHI with plenty of savings.

What’s your HHI?

Please tell me you don’t keep separate finances and you decided to have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Why are you interrogating her about what she's done to prep for the baby? Have you cooked or prepped any meals for her to eat when the baby arrived? Have you gone out to stock up on baby goods?

[Anonymous]

Diapers are a waste unless she can exchange them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Diapers are a waste unless she can exchange them

LOL and this is the advice you get from the loons on DCUM... just let the baby poop in your hands OP, anything else is spendy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diapers are a waste unless she can exchange them

LOL and this is the advice you get from the loons on DCUM... just let the baby poop in your hands OP, anything else is spendy

I should clarify overstocking on diapers and hoarding them is a waste of money unless she can change them. Is that clear enough for you?

[Anonymous]

Possible diaper hoarding aside, what she's buying doesn't sound unreasonable. Budget is a different story, and how much or little of that you can/want to put into baby supplies and prep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s nesting. Whether you are overreacting or not really depends on whether or not you have the money. If she is going into credit card debt, then you are not overreacting. If, on the other hand, she is an anesthesiologist and makes $400k/yr, or she has been saving money for years in order to make a big splurge, then let her spend some of it on the baby without a big guilt trip from you.

OP here. She doesn’t make that much but we do have a good HHI with plenty of savings.

What’s your HHI?

Please tell me you don’t keep separate finances and you decided to have a baby.

OP here. I won’t list my HHI but we have joint finances and the baby was planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

I see nothing wrong with this. You picked a thoughtful wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diapers are a waste unless she can exchange them

LOL and this is the advice you get from the loons on DCUM... just let the baby poop in your hands OP, anything else is spendy

I should clarify overstocking on diapers and hoarding them is a waste of money unless she can change them. Is that clear enough for you?

OP here. She didn’t get a ton. She got 2 NB sizes, 4 1 size, and 4 size 2. She got two boxes of baby wipes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

Is she about 7 months along?
This is totally normal behavior. Maybe you should get a parenting book.

Do you know anything about physical and psychological changes women go through during pregnancy? Pretty soon, she is going to start getting up multiple times at night to pee. About three days after the baby is born, she is going to have a huge hormone shift and start crying all of the time about nothing for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

I had a baby in May this year and I did exactly what your wife did. I stocked up on all the cleaning products and household staples we normally use, in hopes of not needing to do a bunch of shopping during baby’s first couple of months. It worked out awesome and really simplified our shopping during that crazy period where you just don’t need anything else to worry about besides the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

Your wife sounds smart.
Just don’t buy too many diapers or clothes of any single size since babies grow so quickly.

[Anonymous]

I'm amazed that you're even noticing and getting upset about this. Red flag for her. I hope she notices