Wife Spending Too Much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nesting is not an excuse for copious spending.

Op, the two of you need to work out a budget NOW. Her shopping habits sound more like she’s doing it b/c it’s easy and she’s bored.

OP here. We don’t have a budget because she normally never spends this kind of money.

Then I would let it go for now, unless it continues for months. She’s pregnant in the middle of a pandemic which sucks. Don’t add in more stress by critiquing her for this. Plus it sounds like some of these are supplies that will last for months, which will lead to lower spending. And she will probably be too busy to buy once the baby comes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

Is she about 7 months along?
This is totally normal behavior. Maybe you should get a parenting book.

Do you know anything about physical and psychological changes women go through during pregnancy? Pretty soon, she is going to start getting up multiple times at night to pee. About three days after the baby is born, she is going to have a huge hormone shift and start crying all of the time about nothing for a few days.

OP here. No. We are having a baby at the end of the month. She’s like 37 weeks pregnant.

You are about to become a family of 3 , possibly in a matter of days! You should feel ashamed of yourself, that your wife was the one to do all this. be grateful she is trying to plan ahead.

OP here. I have done a lot too. Painting and putting the nursery together. I didn’t know all of this was necessary.

What do you think a baby needs? Kids are not cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not need 4 play gyms. No one should ever buy multiple sets of bottles because you don’t know what kind of bottle the baby will drink from. Babies don’t play with toys until they’re much older books are pretty useless until they are at least six or eight months old, but they are nice to have for when you need them. The $1200 bass and that’s a little much because bassinets only last about four months. That money could’ve been spent on a crib. My bassinet was $200 and I used it for two kids I also then sold it for $80 when I was done with it. A 5K baby registry is a bit much.

4 play gyms is odd. Unless she wants one for multiple rooms and doesn't want to move them from room to room, even still. Bottles she is probably trying to avoid running to the store, and getting multiple types. Toys and books are a personal preference thing. Same for bassinet. Budget is relative.

The main thing wife is trying to and likely has saved herself and OP a ton of work in the coming weeks so he should be happy about that and not get fussy who is days away from giving birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do not need 4 play gyms. No one should ever buy multiple sets of bottles because you don’t know what kind of bottle the baby will drink from. Babies don’t play with toys until they’re much older books are pretty useless until they are at least six or eight months old, but they are nice to have for when you need them. The $1200 bass and that’s a little much because bassinets only last about four months. That money could’ve been spent on a crib. My bassinet was $200 and I used it for two kids I also then sold it for $80 when I was done with it. A 5K baby registry is a bit much.

OP here. We bought a crib. She wanted to get The Snoo because she heard good things about it.

PP here: Yeah, my brother's wife did that. They never used it. He was mad. I hope that you use it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

This seems reasonable to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

This seems reasonable to me.

It's really not that bad. What is concerning is that OP seems complete unaware of what a baby may need and that we are in a pandemic and trying to minimize leaving the house with a newborn at home is a really good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s nesting. Whether you are overreacting or not really depends on whether or not you have the money. If she is going into credit card debt, then you are not overreacting. If, on the other hand, she is an anesthesiologist and makes $400k/yr, or she has been saving money for years in order to make a big splurge, then let her spend some of it on the baby without a big guilt trip from you.

OP here. She doesn’t make that much but we do have a good HHI with plenty of savings.

What’s your HHI?

Please tell me you don’t keep separate finances and you decided to have a baby.

OP here. I won’t list my HHI but we have joint finances and the baby was planned.

That tells us nothing. If you can’t reveal HHI..then why ask? That is key info to giving you an answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds fine and totally normal to me. She's pregnant, don't stress her out

This.

[Anonymous]

Heh, heh, heh. Welcome to parenthood. I really hope you have a boy, OP.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Mine too. But it's not the money. Its the lack of storage space in our 3,500 square foot, four bedroom Colonial - even after our three children have moved on to homes of their own. DW often doesn't even unbox her on-line purchases. Our mailman recently remarked to me that DW is right up there at the top of residents of our reasonably wealthy enclave - when it comes to package deliveries. To DW, the matter is existential. To me, the issue is not a hill I choose to die on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nesting is not an excuse for copious spending.

Op, the two of you need to work out a budget NOW. Her shopping habits sound more like she’s doing it b/c it’s easy and she’s bored.

OP here. We don’t have a budget because she normally never spends this kind of money.

No one is too rich for a budget.

If you take this to heart now, you will save yourself a world of conflict after the baby is born. This is the tip of the iceberg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We bought the nursery furniture ( crib, dresser, and glider) and a stroller travel system. We got most of the big ticket items at our baby shower ( virtual) but she did buy the rest of the stuff she wanted on the registry.

She said she is worried about taking baby out in a pandemic with cold/flu season. She bought the stuff we normally buy in doubles ( meat, pantry items, and paper products). She bought in bulk baby diapers and wipes because she worries they will go out of stock like they did a couple of months ago. She bought a bunch of paper products and cleaning products. She says it’s smart and that she is preparing for us to not have to go out or worry about needing this stuff. She has also made and froze a bunch of meals to eat when once the baby gets here for dinner.

This seems reasonable to me.

Your wife spent $3K and you bought significant furniture items for the nursery. And she’s also cooking meals to eat once the baby arrives? And you’re griping? I hope she comes to her senses before having a second child with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Maybe I am overreacting. That’s why I asked. I didn’t know if this was normal. I do think she got a lot of unnecessary baby items but the rest we will use.

Just out of curiosity what do you think is unnecessary?

OP here. The amount of stuff we have. We have a swing, a bouncer, two bathtubs, 4 play gyms, multiple sets of bottles, lots of toys, lots of books, lots ( we easily have enough clothes until that baby is 6 months), a $1200 bassinet, and so much more. Our baby registry was close to 5K.

Did your wife post on the expectant moms forum? There was a woman who recently posted a very similar registry list and nearly everyone told her it was way OTT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do not need 4 play gyms. No one should ever buy multiple sets of bottles because you don’t know what kind of bottle the baby will drink from. Babies don’t play with toys until they’re much older books are pretty useless until they are at least six or eight months old, but they are nice to have for when you need them. The $1200 bass and that’s a little much because bassinets only last about four months. That money could’ve been spent on a crib. My bassinet was $200 and I used it for two kids I also then sold it for $80 when I was done with it. A 5K baby registry is a bit much.

OP here. We bought a crib. She wanted to get The Snoo because she heard good things about it.

PP here: Yeah, my brother's wife did that. They never used it. He was mad. I hope that you use it!

You can rent the snoo now. I regret not getting one.

[Anonymous]

Guarantee you she is on thr Facebook group Snoo Moms. Its a group of thousands of UMC SAHMs that convince each other how much they NEED the best baby gadgets.