People with kids in college or professional/grad school: Which expenses do you pay for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing.

We have plenty of money to pay for undergrad, but doing so does nothing but make them dependenton others. After 18 it is on them, me and DH were both coddled with college paid for school and we dealt with the mental health issues doing so leads to. Lack of financial awareness, lack of hard wor, lack of true ambition, choice of non-STEM major (DH). We want a better life for our kids.

DS got good scholarships and decided to fund the rest through loans and hard work. DD1 chose not to go to school and instead joined te workforce. DD2 is 16 and currently deciding her path.

Np: My parents paid for everything, including generous allowances, and I managed to graduate with a strong work ethic, no mental health issues, and an appreciation for everything my parents have done for me - before, during, and after college. You and your spouse’s failures are not because your parents paid for your educations, it is because you are weak individuals who would rather blame others than look in the mirror at who is actually responsible.

+1

[Anonymous]

My tuition was exempt by the state I was residing in, so I only had to pay for books, living expenses , room and board.

Before I knew my tuition was exempt I worked full time in the radiology department and they funded my studies.

Because of the assistance granted to me I was able to take on internships that didn’t cover the cost of tuition but gave me work experience that so many graduates are lacking today.

I found out I was tuition exempt my senior year, I took on 3 internships that year. And competed at UPenn, and Johns Hopkins During that time, both requiring flights, and time I wouldn’t have been able to take off if I had to continue to work full-time. (My internships offered great flexibility.)

I didn’t waste a single minute. And I want to offer my children the same opportunity.

Hopefully I’ll get the tuition from freshmen-junior year back since I already paid.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are at odds over this. My parents didn't pay for anything. I worked 30-40 hours per week while I was away at school to pay my rent, books, groceries, car, etc. I took out loans for tuition. DHs parents paid for everything. He never even paid a bill until we moved in together.

[Anonymous]

My parents didn't pay for my college. I had to earn a scholarship if I wanted to go. Luckily, I did- tuition, room, and board. I also worked to pay for my study abroad and my sorority dues. They gave me some money that was a portion of those two expenses after I had already paid them myself.

For grad school, same thing. I was married by then (still am) and my husband paid for half of my degree and I paid for the other half. My husband paid our living expenses while I was in grad school. We paid off my student loans in one year from a combination of his and my income. After they were paid off, my parents gave me about a quarter of the tuition expenses for the total degree. They made a huge deal about it too, about how generous and supportive they are.

My parents are very wealthy but also cold and distant. They thought that I would be spoiled if they helped me.

[Anonymous]

We paid tuition, room and board which is what my parents did for me though I did pay for graduate school. Personal expenses were all on them. I remember being a college junior and senior and working 25 hours a week to save for graduate school and plenty of my friends were getting allowances from their parents. I was envious but I was very grateful for what my parents did given they had 7 children.

[Anonymous]

We pay for everything because we can afford it. It is truly as simple as that. If we did not have the money the kids would have taken out loans. In the present state of affairs, we are mentally prepared for our kids to be at home, go to college virtually and probably not have a job in this economy. It is all evolving and we have basically hunkered down.

[Anonymous]

No kids at this stage yet, but I'll probably do the same as my parents.

Cover education through grad school.

They can live at home during grad school for free, of they want an appartment they have to finance it.

Things like cellphones and clothes are your own expense post first year of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing.

We have plenty of money to pay for undergrad, but doing so does nothing but make them dependenton others. After 18 it is on them, me and DH were both coddled with college paid for school and we dealt with the mental health issues doing so leads to. Lack of financial awareness, lack of hard wor, lack of true ambition, choice of non-STEM major (DH). We want a better life for our kids.

DS got good scholarships and decided to fund the rest through loans and hard work. DD1 chose not to go to school and instead joined te workforce. DD2 is 16 and currently deciding her path.

I'd bet this PP is either first generation immigrant or POC. They think they will harden their kids by making them pay when they could afford it. The result is an 18 year old deciding to skip college, and a 16 year old likely going to do the same thing. And a son who will have a degree from a mediocre college with heavy loans. They will all struggle in a "middle class" that looks far worse than even today's crappy middle class standards. But you sure showed them, right?

PP here, and thank you for the (completely wrong) assumptions.

We want our kids to grow up to be smart, dedicated, and hard working. All too often people make money and they ignore what got them there and start using it like a plaything, giving their kids everything they want/need for free. If you want to do that, go ahead. That said, we (me and DH) lived that life for ourselves, getting a scholarship from the bank of mom and dad, making choices not based on proven financial basis but on emotion.

Also, BTW, both my adult children are happy with their choices. DS is studying engineering and very happy with his employment prospects and DD1 may have held off on college, but is working in a field directly related to one of her favorite hobbies with people she cares deeply enough, and that pays her enough to live in the rural area she has settled in. Please dont think Im evil because I want to raise well adjusted, successful children, from where I am at it certainly looks like both of mine are just fine

This logic is bizarre. It sounds like you are punishing them for your mistakes. I support you wanting your kids to understand the value of money. That is your job to teach, so they can learn how finances and bugeting work. This can be done simultaneously while having your education funded. Kids to your son for his accomplishments.

I was bankrolled by my parents, my husband was given a penny by his parents. We are both successful, high earning professionals. I will give my DD the gift of education. That will long outlive anything I could buy her and it can't be taken away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing.

We have plenty of money to pay for undergrad, but doing so does nothing but make them dependenton others. After 18 it is on them, me and DH were both coddled with college paid for school and we dealt with the mental health issues doing so leads to. Lack of financial awareness, lack of hard wor, lack of true ambition, choice of non-STEM major (DH). We want a better life for our kids.

DS got good scholarships and decided to fund the rest through loans and hard work. DD1 chose not to go to school and instead joined te workforce. DD2 is 16 and currently deciding her path.

I'd bet this PP is either first generation immigrant or POC. They think they will harden their kids by making them pay when they could afford it. The result is an 18 year old deciding to skip college, and a 16 year old likely going to do the same thing. And a son who will have a degree from a mediocre college with heavy loans. They will all struggle in a "middle class" that looks far worse than even today's crappy middle class standards. But you sure showed them, right?

PP here, and thank you for the (completely wrong) assumptions.

We want our kids to grow up to be smart, dedicated, and hard working. All too often people make money and they ignore what got them there and start using it like a plaything, giving their kids everything they want/need for free. If you want to do that, go ahead. That said, we (me and DH) lived that life for ourselves, getting a scholarship from the bank of mom and dad, making choices not based on proven financial basis but on emotion.

Also, BTW, both my adult children are happy with their choices. DS is studying engineering and very happy with his employment prospects and DD1 may have held off on college, but is working in a field directly related to one of her favorite hobbies with people she cares deeply enough, and that pays her enough to live in the rural area she has settled in. Please dont think Im evil because I want to raise well adjusted, successful children, from where I am at it certainly looks like both of mine are just fine

This logic is bizarre. It sounds like you are punishing them for your mistakes. I support you wanting your kids to understand the value of money. That is your job to teach, so they can learn how finances and bugeting work. This can be done simultaneously while having your education funded. Kids to your son for his accomplishments.

I was bankrolled by my parents, my husband was given a penny by his parents. We are both successful, high earning professionals. I will give my DD the gift of education. That will long outlive anything I could buy her and it can't be taken away.

Typos from auto correct...kudos to your son
my husband was not given a penny

[Anonymous]

my kids will get their 529s. They will know the balance applying to college. By then it should be enough to get them through an instate university and some graduate school or pay for part of private undergrad. We have two and want to keep it equal, so the decision on how to use the money will be up to each of them and they'll get to any remaining balance. To us that seems fair

[Anonymous]

All costs. Tuition, room and board, clothes, food, restaurants, taxis, uber, tech, car, insurance, amazon, medical, socialization, plane tickets, hotels, tracel, vacations, play tickets, presents...

My kids have been very frugal considering that they have access to money and resources. They have made friends with good kids. We are sort-of but not quite UMC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my kids will get their 529s. They will know the balance applying to college. By then it should be enough to get them through an instate university and some graduate school or pay for part of private undergrad. We have two and want to keep it equal, so the decision on how to use the money will be up to each of them and they'll get to any remaining balance. To us that seems fair

I like this. I truly believe public universities are the way to go if money is an issue. Of course going private is also an option but it’s much more expensive obviously. I wish my parents gave me a 529. I’m stuck with undergrad and grad loans. I think what I see on here is most parents are happy to help as much as they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No kids at this stage yet, but I'll probably do the same as my parents.

Cover education through grad school.

They can live at home during grad school for free, of they want an appartment they have to finance it.

Things like cellphones and clothes are your own expense post first year of college.

What if your child works? My sister and I worked while we were in undergrad and personal expenses were on us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All costs. Tuition, room and board, clothes, food, restaurants, taxis, uber, tech, car, insurance, amazon, medical, socialization, plane tickets, hotels, tracel, vacations, play tickets, presents...

My kids have been very frugal considering that they have access to money and resources. They have made friends with good kids. We are sort-of but not quite UMC.

Lol...if you can afford all that for your kids, you aren't even close to UMC. You are extremely wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No kids at this stage yet, but I'll probably do the same as my parents.

Cover education through grad school.

They can live at home during grad school for free, of they want an appartment they have to finance it.

Things like cellphones and clothes are your own expense post first year of college.

What if your child works? My sister and I worked while we were in undergrad and personal expenses were on us.

I worked in college too, my parents still paid for phone and clothing that first year, after that they didn't. I'd do the same.