People with kids in college or professional/grad school: Which expenses do you pay for?

[Anonymous]

I received nothing except the occasional $50 from my father and scholarships.

I worked (which hurt my grades), student loans, eventually got a full ride but only for the final year of undergrad.

Most wealthier people I know cover everything through grad school, including once an interior designer for the person's apartment so it was decked out for hosting.

I think paying for at least undergrad is fair if they don't have a paid internship. This is what they would have covered if there hadn't been an unexpected bump in the family finances due to injury and illness.

[Anonymous]

My parents let me use a family car and do laundry at their place when I did my masters and when I moved for another grad program out-of-state would sometimes pay for a plane ticket to visit them.

[Anonymous]

In college, my parents gave me a used car and once every few months gave me $200. Also occasionally paid for plane tickets home. Did not pay for anything else(tuition, room, board, books). Did not pay for anything in grad school.

[Anonymous]

For law school, my parents kept me on their cell phone plan occasionally took me shopping for clothes, and gave me an old car to use. Tuition and other living expenses were covered by me through a mix of loans and scholarships. However, I think if I didn’t have a scholarship, they would have paid for at least part of my tuition, like they did for my brother. They are generally generous with me and my brother.

[Anonymous]

DD is in a prestigious grad program, fully paid by the school. She has to teach, but that's how she earns her stipend.

I do pay for her expenses to travel home. I never want her to say she doesn't have enough money to come home.

Also, I pay for some medical expenses that are not covered by her thin health insurance provided by the school. About a thousand dollars a year. I don't want her to skimp on her health at all, so I pay for these minor things.

Other than that, she's completely on her own. I help her with her budget when she asks, which she does because managing money is new to her still, and I offer advice when she wants it for pretty much anything she needs help managing. But she pays. She has to live on her subsistence stipend. No free car from me, no travel.

I do tell her that if she wants something for her apartment, she can ask me to give her something from our house. And she can ask for things she wants -- new shoes, clothes, etc. -- for birthdays and Christmas.

So, yes, she's getting a little subsidized, but not a lot. We did give her furniture from our house for her first (shared) grad school apartment. But we have too much furniture, so that was fine with me. I gave her stuff to set up the apartment (nothing new, just stuff from our house).

I want her to be responsible, to understand how difficult it is to earn a living, but I don't want her to be miserable while she works on her graduate degree, which is really, really hard.

[Anonymous]

We pay for all expenses and also provide a reasonable amount of spending money. This is for undergrad and grad.

Both of us had all of our undergrad paid for in the same way by our parents and both of us paid for our own grad school educations but those were while we were working full-time. We want our kids to complete their grad school experiences while they are still younger than 25-26 and we don't want them working full-time while going to grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Undergrad: We pay: tuition minus scholarships, room&board, books and school supplies, clothing, we start them off with a boatload of toiletries Child pay: pocket money and toiletry replacement during the year

Grad school: all on them. They are STEM majors and if they can’t find someone else to pay for it, they shouldn’t be there.

Older child has recently graduated and will start an employer paid Master program soon.
Younger child still in undergraduate school

This is what we do. Older child graduated in May and starts a full-time job this month. Younger child is a sophomore in college.

We are getting them through college without loans. We bought our older child a car. We will do the same for the second after they graduate.

Everything else is on them.

[Anonymous]

Parents let me live at home and bought me car since I went to undergrad about 15 mins away from home. They never paid for tuition or books. I had financial aid for 4 years and it ran out and I got a loan for my last year. Now for graduate school, they’re letting me live at home expense free. Grad school payments are in me. I’ll be getting loans

[Anonymous]

We are planning on covering undergrad in full for 3 kids, public or private. They need to cover their own spending money outside of meal plans and clothes, etc that we get for them. Grad school is mostly on their own as I don’t think we will be at a point to help with that too. Both of us did not have much help for undergrad and none for grad so I feel pretty good that they can go anywhere they want for undergrad

[Anonymous]

My parents paid 1/3 of official college bills (so nothing when I moved off-campus) and nothing after. They thought it would build character. It built something, alright - the inability to take non-paying internships related to my field because I had to work, and a mound of debt (even at a state school) that I still have to this day. It also instilled in me the (bad) decision to go to a lower ranked/more affordable graduate program when I would have been much better paid had attended the higher ranked/more expensive programs. Thanks, parents. I will not make the same mistakes with my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid 1/3 of official college bills (so nothing when I moved off-campus) and nothing after. They thought it would build character. It built something, alright - the inability to take non-paying internships related to my field because I had to work, and a mound of debt (even at a state school) that I still have to this day. It also instilled in me the (bad) decision to go to a lower ranked/more affordable graduate program when I would have been much better paid had attended the higher ranked/more expensive programs. Thanks, parents. I will not make the same mistakes with my children.

I should add that my biological parents had the means to pay. Just chose not to. And because my (higher earning) stepparent was on my FAFSA (as I lived with him and my mother), and he contributed nothing to my college costs, I was hard-pressed to get adequate loan coverage (which is why I had to work - my family’s expected contribution exceeded their actual contribution).

[Anonymous]

Undergrad — we paid for virtually everything except spending money for beer/food beyond what the meal plan offers/movies/spring break trips/clothes/etc. They were limited to state schools or private colleges with merit aid, though.

Grad school — pay cell phone bill, stock up on groceries if we go to visit them, bought ds a cheap 10 year old Corolla bc he was in an area without public transportation and needed to travel to different clinical sites (physical therapy school), helped outfit the apartment, plane tickets home, would allow them to live at home if they went to school locally...but otherwise they pay for tuition, rent, food, books, whatever else comes up

[Anonymous]

Under grad - paid for tuition, R & B for all. Kids worked every summer and paid for all the extras. Helped kid # 2 set up apartment because he moved to another city. Also, helped with a car.

Kid #1 went to medical school. We paid all living expenses, including car, insurance etc. Child used loans for tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somehow we’re buying a 3rd set of braces. I told my ex we’re going back to the ortho that did her first 2 sets and asking for a refund.

How is this possible? What motivated the 19-22 yo to want them again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for my graduate school and living expenses so I hope to do the same as it makes life so much easier. My husband didn't get any help after age 18. Huge difference in life. If you can afford it (we live under our means and save for it) why wouldn't you give your kids the best start you possibly can?

A lot of ppl I know whose parents paid for grad schools thought less hard about the decision of whether to go bc their money wasn't at stake. So I might not pay for grad school for that reason. I would help with a down payment though.