I can’t do this anymore. I think I am having a mental meltdown

[Anonymous]

I am so with you, however, my husband is the exact opposite. We are in our 50's with a 3 year old. My husband is convinced that if he gets it, he will die. Last night I got the "drama llama" response of " do you want to leave X an orphan?" I was asking to hire a sitter for a few hours a couple of times a week to give me a break and to give us both a chance to competently do my job. Our son hasn't seen another kid since March 11. I get him out to play every day but it is with me. I can't reason with his irrational fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so with you, however, my husband is the exact opposite. We are in our 50's with a 3 year old. My husband is convinced that if he gets it, he will die. Last night I got the "drama llama" response of " do you want to leave X an orphan?" I was asking to hire a sitter for a few hours a couple of times a week to give me a break and to give us both a chance to competently do my job. Our son hasn't seen another kid since March 11. I get him out to play every day but it is with me. I can't reason with his irrational fear.

He needs to step up his time with his son. No reason all the childcare should be falling on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will do what's best for the overall health and safety of my family. If that means we continue to shelter-in-place, then so be it. My kids go outside and play every day. They sometimes play at a distance with other kids. My older kid connects with friends online. I took my kids to the park on Monday, but we kept our distance from other people. This isn't an all or nothing situation, and it never really was. You just have to be mindful, careful, and minimize people contact at this junction. It won't last forever. Yes, its very, very challenging teleworking, being tech support, teaching kids, and trying to make sure assignments are turned in, particularly when teachers are vague, but it is what is for now. I haven't been 100% successful and I dare anyone at work or school to complain about it. I am doing my best.

+ 1

I thinnk people who are having mental breakdowns are the ones who were not very involved parents even before COVID. I think the pandemic has made it clear how dysfunctional many families were. That is the reason child abuse and domestic violence has increased to. Earlier people could escape outside the home. Now we are at home and if it is not a haven then everything falls apart.

It is not an all or nothing situation. People are being creative and kids are also playing outside, studying and connecting with friends online. Is your house is a bit messier? Are the chores not done? Have you not been folding clothes after doing laundry? Yes. For most of us all of this is happening and these are minor inconveninces. There are a lot of benefits of staying at home too - kids being able to sleep in duing the week, No commute, Being with family, leisurely pace of school work, no running from one EC to another...these are all benefits that evens out the drawbacks.

Wait what? Are you saying that if you’re having a hard time now that means your family was already dysfunctional or you were a checked out parent? That’s ludicrous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drive to the beach or a lake, and relax OP. We've been to the beach 3 times now, and it has been amazing to get out, and there weren't many people there, either. Went on Wednesday, and it was just us and maybe 4 other families spread out on the beach for hours, it was perfect.

+1. We also did a weekday beach trip and it was a great mental health break.

What beach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gave up on parenting about a week ago.

The kids can do whatever they want. We offer food, clothing, shelter, books, TV or they can go outside.

You've just described every summer of my childhood. The kids will be alright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave up on parenting about a week ago.

The kids can do whatever they want. We offer food, clothing, shelter, books, TV or they can go outside.

You've just described every summer of my childhood. The kids will be alright.

I’m pretty sure you played with other kids though. Not the same.

[Anonymous]

Yep. My kids are now at nanny’s house (like an inhome day Care but they’re the only kids). Bliss. I was melting down and being a bad parent and a bad employee. It was rough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave up on parenting about a week ago.

The kids can do whatever they want. We offer food, clothing, shelter, books, TV or they can go outside.

You've just described every summer of my childhood. The kids will be alright.

Yeah but I can’t do this with my 1 and 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. Do you have anyone you could invite over for a play date? I would reach out. You never know who will be amenable to it. I’ve hosted 3 play dates with 3 separate families since mid May and they’ve all said that they felt relaxed and happy about doing it.

[Anonymous]

While I empathize, I am not there yet. 6.5 yr old and 2 yr old while I’m working from home with DH. It’s tough. But we’re hanging in. I think when older child’s remote kindergarten ends next week, it will be easier.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any family out of state? It sounds like things are really starting to open up in parts of the Midwest and the mountain states. My friends live in Idaho and they can pretty much do whatever apart from some large indoor places like movie theaters still being closed and restaurants only at partial capacity. But their outdoor stuff is all open and has been for awhile.

I’m considering it if we don’t start moving things along here pretty quickly, but I think the local government where my parents live in Ohio is still being pretty strict with the closures that affect families.

[Anonymous]

You can do this.
Last week my 9 year old was in tears because I yelled at him for not doing his schoolwork... last night he threw up and had a headache and sat by his bed worryingly.
Today he woke up normal and thanked me for string by his bed last night. I didn’t think he knew that.

It is HRAD OP to be a decent parent. Just hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can do this.
Last week my 9 year old was in tears because I yelled at him for not doing his schoolwork... last night he threw up and had a headache and sat by his bed worryingly.
Today he woke up normal and thanked me for string by his bed last night. I didn’t think he knew that.

It is HRAD OP to be a decent parent. Just hang in there.

Sorry for the typos- sent it before I checked- you are not alone OP. Just do the best you can. That’s what we are all doing now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I empathize, I am not there yet. 6.5 yr old and 2 yr old while I’m working from home with DH. It’s tough. But we’re hanging in. I think when older child’s remote kindergarten ends next week, it will be easier.

+1. Exact same. I fear the virus far more than an emotional collapse. I doubt we’ll do things any differently until September at the earliest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a terrible mother. I can’t do this anymore. I am going to send my kids to any camp that is open. I am going to take my kids to a playground and pool when they open. I will let my kids play with any family that is willing. I have been staying away from people from almost 3 months. I think I am losing my mind. The positives of getting my kids out is better for our overall well being compared to the risks of coronavirus.

Does anyone else feel like throwing in the towel?

Felt it, did it. Dh is working 12 hour days at home, I was working 2 days a week, caring for three year old, did required stuff to maintain my license to practice and prepped for a move. Too much for all of us. I tried, but after three months I was done. Sent ds back to daycare three days a week. I make myself feel less guilty by dropping him off late and picking him up early, limiting his days to 5 hours. We are all much happier. The kid is thrilled to be seeing kids and playing again. I’m happy that my work load feel manageable and that I get day off just to chill.