I can’t do this anymore. I think I am having a mental meltdown

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not all or nothing, you know. You can pick and choose some lower risk activities. It's not like your only choice is between total isolation and being in massive crowds.

This. And I know several parents who have "given up" totally but these same parents weren't exactly knocking it out of the park before. Their kids wouldn't know a screen time limit or a balanced diet if it smacked them in the face. Their parenting strategy seems to be "you can do what you want as long as you leave me alone."

+ 1

There were many who were failing as parents, spouses, relatives etc but their failure was hidden before the pandemic. Now they are actually dealing with it and they are going bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will do what's best for the overall health and safety of my family. If that means we continue to shelter-in-place, then so be it. My kids go outside and play every day. They sometimes play at a distance with other kids. My older kid connects with friends online. I took my kids to the park on Monday, but we kept our distance from other people. This isn't an all or nothing situation, and it never really was. You just have to be mindful, careful, and minimize people contact at this junction. It won't last forever. Yes, its very, very challenging teleworking, being tech support, teaching kids, and trying to make sure assignments are turned in, particularly when teachers are vague, but it is what is for now. I haven't been 100% successful and I dare anyone at work or school to complain about it. I am doing my best.

+ 1

I thinnk people who are having mental breakdowns are the ones who were not very involved parents even before COVID. I think the pandemic has made it clear how dysfunctional many families were. That is the reason child abuse and domestic violence has increased to. Earlier people could escape outside the home. Now we are at home and if it is not a haven then everything falls apart.

It is not an all or nothing situation. People are being creative and kids are also playing outside, studying and connecting with friends online. Is your house is a bit messier? Are the chores not done? Have you not been folding clothes after doing laundry? Yes. For most of us all of this is happening and these are minor inconveninces. There are a lot of benefits of staying at home too - kids being able to sleep in duing the week, No commute, Being with family, leisurely pace of school work, no running from one EC to another...these are all benefits that evens out the drawbacks.

I hadn't thought of it the way you said it, but the parents I have seen who are struggling with this the most seem to be the parents who gave their kids more screen time before this happened. I would have thought it would be easier for them because their kids were already doing that but it doesn't seem to have worked out that way. And most of my friends have households where both parents work, so it's not a WAHP/SAHP thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a terrible mother. I can’t do this anymore. I am going to send my kids to any camp that is open. I am going to take my kids to a playground and pool when they open. I will let my kids play with any family that is willing. I have been staying away from people from almost 3 months. I think I am losing my mind. The positives of getting my kids out is better for our overall well being compared to the risks of coronavirus.

Does anyone else feel like throwing in the towel?

"Does anyone else feel like throwing in the towel?" No. There is no towel to throw because things are pretty harmonious at home. You say you feel like a terrible mother and you know yourself better than anyone else.

I think anyone who still has a job and can telework and anyone who is not facing physical health and wellbeing crisis (like being killed by cops or needing a respirator) needs to STFU and not complain! Take a chill pill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Heck yes. Single mom, working from home full time. 2 second graders. Just got an email today from one of the teachers that one of my girls hasn’t turned in her social studies and science slides since May 4 and will likely impact her final assessment.

WTF?! Second graders are expected to self teach about the American Revolution.

I have struggled, pushed, reviewed and corrected mat and ELA slides on a daily basis for 2 kids since March. The Science/Social studies slides were posted in the weekly discussion section, not the daily assignments.

I’m so angry, overwhelmed, and feeling like complete f’ing failure because I can’t be a mom, employee, full time caretaker, homemaker, and teacher at the same time.

It is SECOND grade. No college or employer is ever going to see that report card. This is a weird time. Some things have to slide. You just try to do the most important things on today's list.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Done. We are going to playgrounds, and I’m looking for a pool to join.

The risk is TINY. We’re done.

[Anonymous]

OP, I mean this kindly but you need to get your stuff together NOW. Figure out low risk activities for your family and start doing them. Because there will be a second wave, probably in the fall, which will likely be much worse than the first. It has happened in four of the last five pandemics and there are countries experiencing it right now. If you need counseling, ask around and find someone to give you Zoom sessions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Done. We are going to playgrounds, and I’m looking for a pool to join.

The risk is TINY. We’re done.

Yep. Us too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Done. We are going to playgrounds, and I’m looking for a pool to join.

The risk is TINY. We’re done.

Risk of what? Catching it? Dying from it? Having complications?

I thought those numbers were still in flux (look at huge increase in excess deaths).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a terrible mother. I can’t do this anymore. I am going to send my kids to any camp that is open. I am going to take my kids to a playground and pool when they open. I will let my kids play with any family that is willing. I have been staying away from people from almost 3 months. I think I am losing my mind. The positives of getting my kids out is better for our overall well being compared to the risks of coronavirus.

Does anyone else feel like throwing in the towel?

"Does anyone else feel like throwing in the towel?" No. There is no towel to throw because things are pretty harmonious at home. You say you feel like a terrible mother and you know yourself better than anyone else.

I think anyone who still has a job and can telework and anyone who is not facing physical health and wellbeing crisis (like being killed by cops or needing a respirator) needs to STFU and not complain! Take a chill pill.

I'm overwhelmed by your empathy.

It's not a contest. OP has a right to feel overwhelmed. Even if she has a job or doesn't have cancer or hasn't been beaten by cops.

[Anonymous]

Not OP but I've started having suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life. All of this — coronavirus, Trump, George Floyd et al, the economy. Maybe the world would be better off without me. My kid is the only thing keeping me here, tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I've started having suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life. All of this — coronavirus, Trump, George Floyd et al, the economy. Maybe the world would be better off without me. My kid is the only thing keeping me here, tbh.

Call someone. Get some help. Please.

[Anonymous]

Drive to the beach or a lake, and relax OP. We've been to the beach 3 times now, and it has been amazing to get out, and there weren't many people there, either. Went on Wednesday, and it was just us and maybe 4 other families spread out on the beach for hours, it was perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I've started having suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life. All of this — coronavirus, Trump, George Floyd et al, the economy. Maybe the world would be better off without me. My kid is the only thing keeping me here, tbh.

Please talk to someone. 1-800-273-8255

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drive to the beach or a lake, and relax OP. We've been to the beach 3 times now, and it has been amazing to get out, and there weren't many people there, either. Went on Wednesday, and it was just us and maybe 4 other families spread out on the beach for hours, it was perfect.

This doesn’t work if we all do that. That’s the problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drive to the beach or a lake, and relax OP. We've been to the beach 3 times now, and it has been amazing to get out, and there weren't many people there, either. Went on Wednesday, and it was just us and maybe 4 other families spread out on the beach for hours, it was perfect.

+1. We also did a weekday beach trip and it was a great mental health break.