Husband Wants Another Baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

It’s six months not nine and must be extremely dedicated.

Ever heard of Irish twins?.....

[Anonymous]

The good news is that you both want a second baby. But do it on your timing but know that your timing is not necessarily how the body works. Mine are each about two years apart and I'm pregnant with #4 - yes, I'm crazy. We would wait about a year or so then get started and then a few months later voila! My oldest will be 7 when the baby is born and he is getting to be pretty self sufficient. I just wish he could drive a car!

[Anonymous]

When I was born I had three older siblings and the oldest was only three - no twins but two were born 11 months apart. My brother once joked that either my parents were animals or my Dad's batting average was of All Star quality. After me they had a few more - good Catholics! But being close in age was great because we always had someone to play with or fight with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think having a second child will be good for my son, but I want to wait closer to the year mark. I had an easy pregnant with a healthy baby. We got pregnant 3 months into trying, but I don’t know how long it will take with another one. I have known women who got pregnant between 4-8 months, and some who got pregnant while breastfeeding. I plan to stop breastfeeding around six months for other reasons. We do have an easy baby, but that can easily change. I don’t worry about a difficult second baby since I have a lot of help from my husband, family, and we can hire childcare. We are also big proponents for sleep training if we have a difficult sleeper. I still prefer to wait a little longer.

You sleep train? Please don’t haven another child. I’m tired of lazy parents. Don’t have a child if you don’t want to parent them.

Wow, this board never fails to disappoint. OP, go ahead and sleep train!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

It’s six months not nine and must be extremely dedicated.

Ever heard of Irish twins?.....

Yes, I always thought that happened to people who formula fed.

I didn’t get a period until after a year both pregnancies and I probably could have waited until then to start birth control. I don’t know anyone who breastfed and got pregnant the first year. It seems really rare. Considering OP WANTS to get pregnant right away, she should consider that breastfeeding will likely reduce already declining fertility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how desperately you want another kid and how much or little you value other things in your life.

I value my career, appearance and marriage A LOT so I wouldn’t be okay having two young children. It would make it much harder for me to be successful at work, spend time not with kids with my husband and stay below my goal weight. Not to mention college savings for the first.

Some women seem to just not care and value having that second baby.

Wow. How shallow can you get?

Actually I don't think it's shallow. We just used all of these reasons to not have a fourth child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several friends who have 2 easy babies, so it absolutely can happen. I think some people just have laid back personalities and make laid back kids. That said, I would wait until a year because 6 month olds are pretty easy (if they sleep well) and misleading as to the energy required once they get mobile.

If you’re breastfeeding, your period may not yet have returned, and so you are less likely to get pregnant until you wean. But odds go up if your baby is not breastfeeding overnight.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but he is combo fed. He sleeps from 8-7 and eats 5 times a day. I'm not really that concerned if the second child will be easy. I think any child can be easy at one stage, and then hard the next stage. I have heard that laid back parents result in laid back babies, and high strung parents result in high strung babies.

OP, this "theory" is laughable, I don't know what to say about it.

Has been true in my experience!

- laid back parent with three pretty easy kids

Although I think it's really that parenting is easier for laid back parents because they're laid back. The same kid could be perceived to be high strung by a high strung parent and laid back by a relaxed parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

It’s six months not nine and must be extremely dedicated.

Ever heard of Irish twins?.....

Yes, I always thought that happened to people who formula fed.

I didn’t get a period until after a year both pregnancies and I probably could have waited until then to start birth control. I don’t know anyone who breastfed and got pregnant the first year. It seems really rare. Considering OP WANTS to get pregnant right away, she should consider that breastfeeding will likely reduce already declining fertility.

She should WANT to do whatever is best for the health of her current child and any future children. Which is to breastfeed and then to wait for her body to build up reserves again to create another person.

However, I'm pretty sure the OP is a troll anyway. I guess the thread wasn't getting enough attention so she had to throw in sleep training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! Mine did too. I scheduled a vasectomy for him. I hate being miserable as phuck while being pregnant. And, before you bssh me, would you like to spend almost 20 weeks on strict bed rest, have hyperemesis and be on a pick line, go to doc visits every week and have extreme anxiety due to multiple previous losses. I think it was selfish of him to want a third child and disregard what I have to go through.

Not fair. If pregnancy is “ your body, your choice”. Vasectomy is “ his body, his choice”. This is what equality is dear.

Of course, and just like abortions can end a marriage if done unilaterally, not getting a vasectomy can end a marriage. Choices have consequences on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how desperately you want another kid and how much or little you value other things in your life.

I value my career, appearance and marriage A LOT so I wouldn’t be okay having two young children. It would make it much harder for me to be successful at work, spend time not with kids with my husband and stay below my goal weight. Not to mention college savings for the first.

Some women seem to just not care and value having that second baby.

OP here. Our marriage is great and so are our careers. I worked hard and have a flexible career that allows me to work part-time. My husbands salary and our savings allows me the option to stay at home for a couple of years if I decide to. So far we spend plenty of time together after the baby goes to bed. Sure, not as much time as before, but we still have 2-3 each night to enjoy by ourselves. I know that will get harder once another child is in the picture, but I think it depends on how important connecting with your spouse is. I believe in putting my marriage first, which means making time for a date night every week. I've struggled with weight issues in my twenties, but we both make it a point to workout and eat healthy. I also am walking and on my feet for most of my job. We are financially able to save for college, but I think that has to do with our older age, because it wouldn't have been possible if I had kids 10 years ago. I think you can have 2 kids and still be good at your job and have a happy marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

It’s six months not nine and must be extremely dedicated.

Ever heard of Irish twins?.....

Yes, I always thought that happened to people who formula fed.

I didn’t get a period until after a year both pregnancies and I probably could have waited until then to start birth control. I don’t know anyone who breastfed and got pregnant the first year. It seems really rare. Considering OP WANTS to get pregnant right away, she should consider that breastfeeding will likely reduce already declining fertility.

She should WANT to do whatever is best for the health of her current child and any future children. Which is to breastfeed and then to wait for her body to build up reserves again to create another person.

However, I'm pretty sure the OP is a troll anyway. I guess the thread wasn't getting enough attention so she had to throw in sleep training.

OP here. I'm not a troll. I brought up sleep trying because of the multiple comments about lack of sleep with a second child. We have not had to sleep train our baby, but we are huge proponents of sleep training and schedules. We also have family and can hire childcare. I do want to wait until a year to try because I think it's better for a healthier pregnancy.

This thread has had plenty of responses, but I think most are not real hand accounts like I expected. I haven't been able thread through all of them all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

It’s six months not nine and must be extremely dedicated.

Ever heard of Irish twins?.....

Yes, I always thought that happened to people who formula fed.

I didn’t get a period until after a year both pregnancies and I probably could have waited until then to start birth control. I don’t know anyone who breastfed and got pregnant the first year. It seems really rare. Considering OP WANTS to get pregnant right away, she should consider that breastfeeding will likely reduce already declining fertility.

She should WANT to do whatever is best for the health of her current child and any future children. Which is to breastfeed and then to wait for her body to build up reserves again to create another person.

However, I'm pretty sure the OP is a troll anyway. I guess the thread wasn't getting enough attention so she had to throw in sleep training.

So she has to breastfeed in order to be doing what's best of her baby? I guess formula feeding isn't whats best for her baby? Not everyone can or wants to breastfeed. This just seems very smug and like OP shouldn't get pregnant because she owes it to her child to breastfeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

It’s six months not nine and must be extremely dedicated.

Ever heard of Irish twins?.....

Yes, I always thought that happened to people who formula fed.

I didn’t get a period until after a year both pregnancies and I probably could have waited until then to start birth control. I don’t know anyone who breastfed and got pregnant the first year. It seems really rare. Considering OP WANTS to get pregnant right away, she should consider that breastfeeding will likely reduce already declining fertility.

She should WANT to do whatever is best for the health of her current child and any future children. Which is to breastfeed and then to wait for her body to build up reserves again to create another person.

However, I'm pretty sure the OP is a troll anyway. I guess the thread wasn't getting enough attention so she had to throw in sleep training.

OP here. I'm not a troll. I brought up sleep trying because of the multiple comments about lack of sleep with a second child. We have not had to sleep train our baby, but we are huge proponents of sleep training and schedules. We also have family and can hire childcare. I do want to wait until a year to try because I think it's better for a healthier pregnancy.

This thread has had plenty of responses, but I think most are not real hand accounts like I expected. I haven't been able thread through all of them all.

What do you mean the responses "were not real hand accounts"? When experienced parents (like myself) are telling you that it's too close together, then you're either going to listen to that or you're not.

Or did you expect us to say:

That's too close together. It is very hard, in my first hand experience. And please also consider that your next child may have serious SN, which apparently is more common that it used to be.

- Mom of 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

It’s six months not nine and must be extremely dedicated.

Ever heard of Irish twins?.....

Yes, I always thought that happened to people who formula fed.

I didn’t get a period until after a year both pregnancies and I probably could have waited until then to start birth control. I don’t know anyone who breastfed and got pregnant the first year. It seems really rare. Considering OP WANTS to get pregnant right away, she should consider that breastfeeding will likely reduce already declining fertility.

She should WANT to do whatever is best for the health of her current child and any future children. Which is to breastfeed and then to wait for her body to build up reserves again to create another person.

However, I'm pretty sure the OP is a troll anyway. I guess the thread wasn't getting enough attention so she had to throw in sleep training.

OP here. I'm not a troll. I brought up sleep trying because of the multiple comments about lack of sleep with a second child. We have not had to sleep train our baby, but we are huge proponents of sleep training and schedules. We also have family and can hire childcare. I do want to wait until a year to try because I think it's better for a healthier pregnancy.

This thread has had plenty of responses, but I think most are not real hand accounts like I expected. I haven't been able thread through all of them all.

What do you mean the responses "were not real hand accounts"? When experienced parents (like myself) are telling you that it's too close together, then you're either going to listen to that or you're not.

Or did you expect us to say:

That's too close together. It is very hard, in my first hand experience. And please also consider that your next child may have serious SN, which apparently is more common that it used to be.

- Mom of 3

OP here. I said most and I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about the ones that were saying don't do it for shallow reasons or the response about how the best thing is to give my child a sibling. I realize some will reply with these things, but only a handful of people shared about being a similar age, having two kids close in age, and how they handle two young kids while being older, all of which is what I asked to hear about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

It’s six months not nine and must be extremely dedicated.

Ever heard of Irish twins?.....

Yes, I always thought that happened to people who formula fed.

I didn’t get a period until after a year both pregnancies and I probably could have waited until then to start birth control. I don’t know anyone who breastfed and got pregnant the first year. It seems really rare. Considering OP WANTS to get pregnant right away, she should consider that breastfeeding will likely reduce already declining fertility.

She should WANT to do whatever is best for the health of her current child and any future children. Which is to breastfeed and then to wait for her body to build up reserves again to create another person.

However, I'm pretty sure the OP is a troll anyway. I guess the thread wasn't getting enough attention so she had to throw in sleep training.

OP here. I'm not a troll. I brought up sleep trying because of the multiple comments about lack of sleep with a second child. We have not had to sleep train our baby, but we are huge proponents of sleep training and schedules. We also have family and can hire childcare. I do want to wait until a year to try because I think it's better for a healthier pregnancy.

This thread has had plenty of responses, but I think most are not real hand accounts like I expected. I haven't been able thread through all of them all.

Hey OP. I just had my third. I have a 4, 2 and 0 year old! I still have 2-3 hours to myself at night and my husband and I have a fantastic relationship and we have a date night every other week.

The date night thing is a financial thing not a kid thing. If you're comfortable leaving your baby for a date night when they're little (and I'm a huge advocate of that!) then continuing that with two children is nothing but a financial decision.

The 2-3 hours to myself comes from keeping to a very rigorous sleep schedule and putting children on a pretty hard core schedule. We will make exceptions for special events but my kids are on a timer, they wake and sleep the same time basically everyday. And we stuck with bedtime routines even through the tantrum weeks. Our children have not ever slept in our bed (other than one or two really sick nights or bad nightmares, very special occasions).

Its doable...it just has to be what you're prioritizing. And I don't mean that as a dig towards other people with different high priorities. Just saying, as someone with similar priorities it can be done.