Husband Wants Another Baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how desperately you want another kid and how much or little you value other things in your life.

I value my career, appearance and marriage A LOT so I wouldn’t be okay having two young children. It would make it much harder for me to be successful at work, spend time not with kids with my husband and stay below my goal weight. Not to mention college savings for the first.

Some women seem to just not care and value having that second baby.

Wow. How shallow can you get?

I give you that appearance is superficial. However it’s somewhat related to my sex life, which I don’t consider to be shallow. My marriage is important and sex is a requirement for a happy marriage.

But how is my career or marriage shallow? Plenty of parents on this board have serious marital issues that don’t seemed to be helped by children. Many marriages end up in divorce. We all know that having children (especially close in age) negatively affects a woman’s career. These are all valid concerns for someone wanting to live a nice and less stressful life. If you aren’t concerned about college savings, staying married or happiness then sure, go on and have another right away!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how desperately you want another kid and how much or little you value other things in your life.

I value my career, appearance and marriage A LOT so I wouldn’t be okay having two young children. It would make it much harder for me to be successful at work, spend time not with kids with my husband and stay below my goal weight. Not to mention college savings for the first.

Some women seem to just not care and value having that second baby.

Wow. How shallow can you get?

I give you that appearance is superficial. However it’s somewhat related to my sex life, which I don’t consider to be shallow. My marriage is important and sex is a requirement for a happy marriage.

But how is my career or marriage shallow? Plenty of parents on this board have serious marital issues that don’t seemed to be helped by children. Many marriages end up in divorce. We all know that having children (especially close in age) negatively affects a woman’s career. These are all valid concerns for someone wanting to live a nice and less stressful life. If you aren’t concerned about college savings, staying married or happiness then sure, go on and have another right away!

Yes, this! You are not shallow. More children is not the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wait to 12 months.

Yes - not that much time in terms of your fertility but HUGE difference for your kids.

OP here. I want to wait until a year before we start trying for another one.

your body, your choice OP!!

+10000000000000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just got for it. Worst (or best?) case scenario is they are 15 months apart, but it’s way more likely that it takes a couple months, or you go through a miscarriage first.

This simply isn’t true, and there is no evidence you have to support this wild assertion.

Wait, what’s a “wild assertion”? That it’s likely to take a few months to get pregnant? I think that’s just fact, even for the most fertile among us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several friends who have 2 easy babies, so it absolutely can happen. I think some people just have laid back personalities and make laid back kids. That said, I would wait until a year because 6 month olds are pretty easy (if they sleep well) and misleading as to the energy required once they get mobile.

If you’re breastfeeding, your period may not yet have returned, and so you are less likely to get pregnant until you wean. But odds go up if your baby is not breastfeeding overnight.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but he is combo fed. He sleeps from 8-7 and eats 5 times a day. I'm not really that concerned if the second child will be easy. I think any child can be easy at one stage, and then hard the next stage. I have heard that laid back parents result in laid back babies, and high strung parents result in high strung babies.

OP, this "theory" is laughable, I don't know what to say about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can, give your child a sibling. That's the best thing you can do for your child.

100% agree. Nothing worse than an only child. And before all the single children out there that are about to disagree with me, it absolutely normal to feel the way you do simply because you don’t know the difference your life would have been. What’s worse is if a single child has to go through a parents divorce, and yes 50% will.

C’mon. Are you trolling? There are plenty of siblings who don’t even have decent relationships. Your post is silly.

+1. I’m the eldest of 4 and always wanted to be an only child.

[Anonymous]

Op, it’s your decision. It’s totally reasonable to want to wait.

[Anonymous]

Op - read this from the Mayo Clinic and show it to your husband. Basically your instinct to wait a year is right on.


https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/family-planning/art-20044072

[Anonymous]

Op, like you I had my first at 38, and got pregnant easily. We waited until 14 months before trying for #2, they are exactly 2 years apart so it happened right away. I am glad I waited. You cannot really measure risks here--there is a lot of unknown factors so I think you have to go with your gut, as long as its reasonable and you are aware of all the different parameters. for us, it was very hard as it was to have a baby and 2 year old (our older one was the demanding one, the baby was chill) and I am glad that I was able to give a lot of time to our first, who was pretty needy still when sibling came along but would have been worse earlier. I also just needed the time, including having to build up some paid leave again (had no paid maternity benefits) but also for us to establish better sleep routines, schedules, etc. My ideal would be 2.5 to3 years apart, but age was not on my side (and I still figured it would take longer than it did).

[Anonymous]

My husband was also gung ho to have a second and I was on the fence. Ultimately I decided to go for it because I am surrounded by only children who hated being only children - husband, mother, best friend.

If you decide to go for it, I would not start trying at 6 months. I was 37 when trying for baby #2, needed hormones to conceive #1, but got pregnant again basically as soon as we started trying. Older child turned 1 in December, my husband and I said "let's stop preventing and see what happens!" and in January I had a positive pregnancy test. The kids are 22 months apart, which I think is reasonable, and OMG, the first six months were SO HARD. Oh, and NEITHER kid is an easy kid.

It also took my body longer to get back to normal the second time - after #1 I was back in pre-pregnancy jeans by the three months mark without lifting a finger, but after #2 I had a nasty little belly pouch for over a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several friends who have 2 easy babies, so it absolutely can happen. I think some people just have laid back personalities and make laid back kids. That said, I would wait until a year because 6 month olds are pretty easy (if they sleep well) and misleading as to the energy required once they get mobile.

If you’re breastfeeding, your period may not yet have returned, and so you are less likely to get pregnant until you wean. But odds go up if your baby is not breastfeeding overnight.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but he is combo fed. He sleeps from 8-7 and eats 5 times a day. I'm not really that concerned if the second child will be easy. I think any child can be easy at one stage, and then hard the next stage. I have heard that laid back parents result in laid back babies, and high strung parents result in high strung babies.

NP. Actually, I think the popular theory is that high strung parents make easy babies and laid back parents make high strung babies. But either theory probably isn't really true. Anyway, my first baby slept through the night (12 hrs) at 4 months, and the 2nd one is still up every 4 hours at 9 months.....

[Anonymous]

Ha! Mine did too. I scheduled a vasectomy for him. I hate being miserable as phuck while being pregnant. And, before you bssh me, would you like to spend almost 20 weeks on strict bed rest, have hyperemesis and be on a pick line, go to doc visits every week and have extreme anxiety due to multiple previous losses. I think it was selfish of him to want a third child and disregard what I have to go through.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think having a second child will be good for my son, but I want to wait closer to the year mark. I had an easy pregnant with a healthy baby. We got pregnant 3 months into trying, but I don’t know how long it will take with another one. I have known women who got pregnant between 4-8 months, and some who got pregnant while breastfeeding. I plan to stop breastfeeding around six months for other reasons. We do have an easy baby, but that can easily change. I don’t worry about a difficult second baby since I have a lot of help from my husband, family, and we can hire childcare. We are also big proponents for sleep training if we have a difficult sleeper. I still prefer to wait a little longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! Mine did too. I scheduled a vasectomy for him. I hate being miserable as phuck while being pregnant. And, before you bssh me, would you like to spend almost 20 weeks on strict bed rest, have hyperemesis and be on a pick line, go to doc visits every week and have extreme anxiety due to multiple previous losses. I think it was selfish of him to want a third child and disregard what I have to go through.

Not fair. If pregnancy is “ your body, your choice”. Vasectomy is “ his body, his choice”. This is what equality is dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think having a second child will be good for my son, but I want to wait closer to the year mark. I had an easy pregnant with a healthy baby. We got pregnant 3 months into trying, but I don’t know how long it will take with another one. I have known women who got pregnant between 4-8 months, and some who got pregnant while breastfeeding. I plan to stop breastfeeding around six months for other reasons. We do have an easy baby, but that can easily change. I don’t worry about a difficult second baby since I have a lot of help from my husband, family, and we can hire childcare. We are also big proponents for sleep training if we have a difficult sleeper. I still prefer to wait a little longer.

You sleep train? Please don’t haven another child. I’m tired of lazy parents. Don’t have a child if you don’t want to parent them.