Husband Wants Another Baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wait to 12 months.

Yes - not that much time in terms of your fertility but HUGE difference for your kids.

OP here. I want to wait until a year before we start trying for another one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only if he's truly a full partner in parenting & adulting. And I'd wait for a year to start trying again. 15 months is REALLY close together.

+100 and I say this as someone that has two kids 15 months apart. The first night when we brought our youngest home she started crying and woke our 15 month old so we had two kids crying. I thought what the heck have we gotten ourselves into. Also, it’s very different having a six month old that isn’t very mobile and thinking about having another (assuming your child sleeps through the night) versus already having a mobile toddler and knowing what it’s like to chase them around etc and then adding a baby to that reality.

OP here. This is why I want to wait. We have an easy baby now, but who knows what he will be like through the other stages. He does sleep through the night. My husband is a great father and partner. We split most things 50/50. I do handle more childcare because I’m only going back to work part-time, but he is still very involved. We live in a condo with low maintenance, have a weekly housekeeper, and use HelloFresh. My husband is a great cook and food preps for meals on the weekend. We split most housekeeping duties equally. He does the bedtime routine when he gets home from work, and spends a lot of time with our son on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Go for it.. close in age is ideal. Kids will always be at similar developmental ages, making everything in life easier. Trust me on this..everything from toys, family activities, playdates, carpooling, it will all be so much easier!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a first easy baby, get ready the next could rock your world. I'm lucky I had a SUPER hard baby first. Didn't sleep through the night for 3 years and even now at 10 still wakes up. Trust me, you have no idea how bad it can be.

Ha, this was my parents. They wanted 4. First so easy it was like, "we are AMAZING parents, let's keep it going!!" Second was like first-time parenting, they'd sleep on the floor through age 8, intensive therapy, horrible anxiety, ADHD, etc. Shut down the baby factory when #2 was 5ish. Sounds like you are the opposite, but this is not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had our second and are in our late 40s. Energy levels haven't been an issue, but parenting two really stressed our marriage. The unequal distribution of mental load, housework, etc., became painfully obvious and has been a real sore spot - especially because my spouse has pretty much assumed this stuff should be on my shoulders even as I take on far greater demands from the kids. So, whatever you do, make sure you guys sit down and really think through how all the child care and household tasks will be managed.

That said, the thing that pushed me in the "yes" column and has kept me there has been the fact that as older parents, we may not see our kids into (their) middle age, let alone late life. And while any parent can die at any time - plenty of 20 year old parents leave small kids behind - we had a responsibility to provide our first child with as much as we can for as long as we can. That means we have a trust, life insurance, etc., and, for us, it meant giving him a sibling. And while it's also true that sometimes siblings grow up to hate each other, you can't even hope to have the love or support of one that doesn't exist.

Good luck with your decision, OP.

So unfair to do to kids.

[Anonymous]

I have several friends who have 2 easy babies, so it absolutely can happen. I think some people just have laid back personalities and make laid back kids. That said, I would wait until a year because 6 month olds are pretty easy (if they sleep well) and misleading as to the energy required once they get mobile.

If you’re breastfeeding, your period may not yet have returned, and so you are less likely to get pregnant until you wean. But odds go up if your baby is not breastfeeding overnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have several friends who have 2 easy babies, so it absolutely can happen. I think some people just have laid back personalities and make laid back kids. That said, I would wait until a year because 6 month olds are pretty easy (if they sleep well) and misleading as to the energy required once they get mobile.

If you’re breastfeeding, your period may not yet have returned, and so you are less likely to get pregnant until you wean. But odds go up if your baby is not breastfeeding overnight.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but he is combo fed. He sleeps from 8-7 and eats 5 times a day. I'm not really that concerned if the second child will be easy. I think any child can be easy at one stage, and then hard the next stage. I have heard that laid back parents result in laid back babies, and high strung parents result in high strung babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can, give your child a sibling. That's the best thing you can do for your child.

100% agree. Nothing worse than an only child. And before all the single children out there that are about to disagree with me, it absolutely normal to feel the way you do simply because you don’t know the difference your life would have been. What’s worse is if a single child has to go through a parents divorce, and yes 50% will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can, give your child a sibling. That's the best thing you can do for your child.

Agree. Wish I had done so.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how desperately you want another kid and how much or little you value other things in your life.

I value my career, appearance and marriage A LOT so I wouldn’t be okay having two young children. It would make it much harder for me to be successful at work, spend time not with kids with my husband and stay below my goal weight. Not to mention college savings for the first.

Some women seem to just not care and value having that second baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can, give your child a sibling. That's the best thing you can do for your child.

100% agree. Nothing worse than an only child. And before all the single children out there that are about to disagree with me, it absolutely normal to feel the way you do simply because you don’t know the difference your life would have been. What’s worse is if a single child has to go through a parents divorce, and yes 50% will.

C’mon. Are you trolling? There are plenty of siblings who don’t even have decent relationships. Your post is silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

i think the PP only mentioned that since you talk of getting pregnant at 6 months post partum. A lot (majority?) or women don't get their periods back until they ween, and some take months after weaning to return. So if you are truly interested in trying that early - you might have to wean to formula to allow your cycles to return to begin trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wait to 12 months.

Yes - not that much time in terms of your fertility but HUGE difference for your kids.

OP here. I want to wait until a year before we start trying for another one.

Is t that what most doctors recommend? That the kids be at least twenty months apart. Wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how desperately you want another kid and how much or little you value other things in your life.

I value my career, appearance and marriage A LOT so I wouldn’t be okay having two young children. It would make it much harder for me to be successful at work, spend time not with kids with my husband and stay below my goal weight. Not to mention college savings for the first.

Some women seem to just not care and value having that second baby.

Wow. How shallow can you get?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.