Husband Wants Another Baby
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Anonymous
| My husband and I welcomed our first child in September. We are 38 and 40. We didn't have a strong opinion on having children and just left it up to " if it happens it happens". We started trying when I was 37 and we got pregnant quickly. We have been over the moon and so happy. My husband really wants another child and wants to start trying at 6 months ( OBGYN cleared me to start trying then), but I'm nervous. We have been told our baby is super easy - good sleeper, rarely cries, and is always happy, but I know that is not the case with every stage or every baby. I do think I want another one but I'm not sure about having two children so close in age. We are both older and the thought of running around after two young children will be tough. I also worry about getting our hopes up if we don't end up pregnant with a second child. We can afford a second child and live in a condo with enough space for another child. What did you choose if you were on the fence about having a second child? What was it like with two young children close in age? Was it harder if you were/are older? |
Anonymous
| Go for it and stop overthinking |
Anonymous
| Only if he's truly a full partner in parenting & adulting. And I'd wait for a year to start trying again. 15 months is REALLY close together. |
Anonymous
| Babies are a blessing. If the finances and love is there, go for it. |
Anonymous
+1. Why would you wait so long to have kids? Now you have to have two really close in age. I would have started sooner if I were you. Getting pregnant at six months is not advisable. |
Anonymous
| If you can, give your child a sibling. That's the best thing you can do for your child. |
Anonymous
| It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy. |
Anonymous
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We just had our second and are in our late 40s. Energy levels haven't been an issue, but parenting two really stressed our marriage. The unequal distribution of mental load, housework, etc., became painfully obvious and has been a real sore spot - especially because my spouse has pretty much assumed this stuff should be on my shoulders even as I take on far greater demands from the kids. So, whatever you do, make sure you guys sit down and really think through how all the child care and household tasks will be managed.
That said, the thing that pushed me in the "yes" column and has kept me there has been the fact that as older parents, we may not see our kids into (their) middle age, let alone late life. And while any parent can die at any time - plenty of 20 year old parents leave small kids behind - we had a responsibility to provide our first child with as much as we can for as long as we can. That means we have a trust, life insurance, etc., and, for us, it meant giving him a sibling. And while it's also true that sometimes siblings grow up to hate each other, you can't even hope to have the love or support of one that doesn't exist. Good luck with your decision, OP. |
Anonymous
I’d go for it. It’s hard at first then it’s really easy as they get older. I think we over plan life and sometimes take the joy out of the wonderful surprises it can bring. Take the same attitude. When you are both ready, so it. That can be 6 mo or 16mo from now. And congrats on making it through the 4th trimester with smiles! 
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Anonymous
| I would wait to 12 months. |
Anonymous
+100 and I say this as someone that has two kids 15 months apart. The first night when we brought our youngest home she started crying and woke our 15 month old so we had two kids crying. I thought what the heck have we gotten ourselves into. Also, it’s very different having a six month old that isn’t very mobile and thinking about having another (assuming your child sleeps through the night) versus already having a mobile toddler and knowing what it’s like to chase them around etc and then adding a baby to that reality. |
Anonymous
Yes - not that much time in terms of your fertility but HUGE difference for your kids. |
Anonymous
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If you have a first easy baby, get ready the next could rock your world. I'm lucky I had a SUPER hard baby first. Didn't sleep through the night for 3 years and even now at 10 still wakes up. Trust me, you have no idea how bad it can be.
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Anonymous
OP here. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34. I would rather wait to have kids with the right person, than not have kids at all. I want to wait until a year to start trying for another one. |
Anonymous
OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters? |