Husband Wants Another Baby

[Anonymous]

I’d go for it. Our first two were 16 months apart when we were in our mid 30’s - a third arrived 2 years later - and while it was a bit chaotic it was always a very special time. Our kids are now adults and they are best friends. If you can afford it and have the space don’t wait. Yes, it would be nice to be younger but you can’t roll back the clock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several friends who have 2 easy babies, so it absolutely can happen. I think some people just have laid back personalities and make laid back kids. That said, I would wait until a year because 6 month olds are pretty easy (if they sleep well) and misleading as to the energy required once they get mobile.

If you’re breastfeeding, your period may not yet have returned, and so you are less likely to get pregnant until you wean. But odds go up if your baby is not breastfeeding overnight.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but he is combo fed. He sleeps from 8-7 and eats 5 times a day. I'm not really that concerned if the second child will be easy. I think any child can be easy at one stage, and then hard the next stage. I have heard that laid back parents result in laid back babies, and high strung parents result in high strung babies.

I'd probably start around 9 or 10 months. Frankly, your fertility is not increasing. If you think you want one more, waiting a year doesn't seem like a good bet. And yes, you could get a tough baby. You'll make it through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wait to 12 months.

Yes - not that much time in terms of your fertility but HUGE difference for your kids.

OP here. I want to wait until a year before we start trying for another one.

your body, your choice OP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can, give your child a sibling. That's the best thing you can do for your child.

100% agree. Nothing worse than an only child. And before all the single children out there that are about to disagree with me, it absolutely normal to feel the way you do simply because you don’t know the difference your life would have been. What’s worse is if a single child has to go through a parents divorce, and yes 50% will.

seriously???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Breastfeeding is nature’s birth control. It’s very unlikely that you even have a period at 6 months.

I breast fed each of my two kids until just over a year. I was in my early 30’s and we didn’t even bother with birth control until 9 months - and that’s because I was paranoid. I got my period shortly after weaning each kid - around 13 or 14 months postpartum.

and this, ladies and gentlemen, is how Irish Twins happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have several friends who have 2 easy babies, so it absolutely can happen. I think some people just have laid back personalities and make laid back kids. That said, I would wait until a year because 6 month olds are pretty easy (if they sleep well) and misleading as to the energy required once they get mobile.

If you’re breastfeeding, your period may not yet have returned, and so you are less likely to get pregnant until you wean. But odds go up if your baby is not breastfeeding overnight.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but he is combo fed. He sleeps from 8-7 and eats 5 times a day. I'm not really that concerned if the second child will be easy. I think any child can be easy at one stage, and then hard the next stage. I have heard that laid back parents result in laid back babies, and high strung parents result in high strung babies.

I'd probably start around 9 or 10 months. Frankly, your fertility is not increasing. If you think you want one more, waiting a year doesn't seem like a good bet. And yes, you could get a tough baby. You'll make it through.

an additional 6 months is a marginal change in fertility, but a BIG change in terms of how hard it will be on OP’s body and the ease of parenting. Plenty of 15-16 month olds aren’t even walking yet ... plus it’s healthier for the baby to leave a bigger space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can, give your child a sibling. That's the best thing you can do for your child.

100% agree. Nothing worse than an only child. And before all the single children out there that are about to disagree with me, it absolutely normal to feel the way you do simply because you don’t know the difference your life would have been. What’s worse is if a single child has to go through a parents divorce, and yes 50% will.

seriously???

Yeah, as someone who was an only child of divorce, I agree. Later had a sister and she’s the biggest blessing in my life beyond my wife and son

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are in a great place. I might wait a few more months but if your Doc says it’s OK I’d be in the let it happen camp. Kids close in age can become great playmates and while it can be hectic that’s just part of life. You are very lucky to have a very supportive and helpful husband and that will go a long way to make having two little ones manageable. Once we decided to have our second I was like “I’m doing this now” and drove my husband nuts with my “I’m at my fertile peak” cry outs for sex. He joked that until I got pregnant all he was was a penis.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 38 and was unsure about having a second, though my husband was all for it. I decided to do it and my kids are 26 months apart. It's been great. In some ways having 2 was easier than having 1 because they play together and entertain each other, taking some of the load off of me. They are almost 5 and just turned 7 now and still play together all the time. They fight too, obviously, but I really wouldn't have it any other way UNLESS my first hadn't been a good sleeper.

[Anonymous]

Oh god I wouldn't start at 6 months! Have you even gotten your period back? The exhaustion when mine were just 2.5 years apart was bad enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s best to wait much longer if you want to give your second child the best chance at being healthy. I guess you aren’t nursing but even then, your body needs to recover just from the pregnancy.

OP here. I am breastfeeding but I fail to see why what even matters?

Np, but the Hormones in breastfeeding generally discourage pregnancy (but aren’t 100%, obviously.). We have a 2 year age gap and it is was so so hard on me. My pregnancy and year one were miserable. I was the most depressed and struggled more than anything else I’ve ever done trying to care for an infant and a toddler. Felt like I was neglecting the toddler and the baby, and was so exhausted trying to keep up with both of them. And I only work part time from home with decent husband support. Be really sure and be all in. Have support and back up. It definitely takes a big physical toll on women too, calcium levels, vitamins, etc. I’m pretty healthy but I know it’s taken a toll to carry and breastfeed two kids for three years starting at age 37. I think ideally your body needs 2 years to full recover from carrying a baby but we didn’t have that time.

All that said, I’m glad the kids have each other, and glad we did it.

[Anonymous]

I’d just got for it. Worst (or best?) case scenario is they are 15 months apart, but it’s way more likely that it takes a couple months, or you go through a miscarriage first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d just got for it. Worst (or best?) case scenario is they are 15 months apart, but it’s way more likely that it takes a couple months, or you go through a miscarriage first.

This simply isn’t true, and there is no evidence you have to support this wild assertion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only if he's truly a full partner in parenting & adulting. And I'd wait for a year to start trying again. 15 months is REALLY close together.

This.

If your spouse isn’t a workaholic, you like how he prioritizes his time, he is able to put children or your needs first- not his, proactively runs many parts of the household and family, and can CARE FOR kids (not just okay w them or love them, but actually care for their needs and development), then maybe yes.

[Anonymous]

15 mos is fine.