When and why did your friends get divorced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married almost 40 years with most of our friends being married 30-40 years. I can definitely see a difference between happy couples and those who seem to be coasting along in their relationship. But I sense that at this point in their lives divorce is unlikely to happen. Being 60+ and being alone by choice is a pretty lonely prospect especially for women. I assume that sex is still a part of the happy couples lives and it certainly is with ours.

says who? I know plenty of 60+ "alone by choice" women and they seem very happy to me. obviously a fairy-tale relationship would be preferable (at any age and gender) but the lonely cat lady thing is a stereotype I've never seen borne out in my own observations.

I’m 64 and I have a few friends who are in their 60’s and divorced. They are happier being divorced than in their bad marriages but they always tell me I’m so lucky to still be in a great relationship after almost 40 years. They are not cat ladies but they’d love to be in a LTR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many times the wife gets old and fat

And cranky, dishonest, and lazy.

[Anonymous]

In my 50s and the only couple I know well enough to know what happened was when the kids were in college and the wife had enough navel gazing by the husband. Both great people but not good together.

[Anonymous]

I think a good clue is when someone tells you they truly dread the idea of being an empty nester.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married almost 40 years with most of our friends being married 30-40 years. I can definitely see a difference between happy couples and those who seem to be coasting along in their relationship. But I sense that at this point in their lives divorce is unlikely to happen. Being 60+ and being alone by choice is a pretty lonely prospect especially for women. I assume that sex is still a part of the happy couples lives and it certainly is with ours.

says who? I know plenty of 60+ "alone by choice" women and they seem very happy to me. obviously a fairy-tale relationship would be preferable (at any age and gender) but the lonely cat lady thing is a stereotype I've never seen borne out in my own observations.

I’m 64 and I have a few friends who are in their 60’s and divorced. They are happier being divorced than in their bad marriages but they always tell me I’m so lucky to still be in a great relationship after almost 40 years. They are not cat ladies but they’d love to be in a LTR.

So my dad passed away many years ago and my mom made a conscious decision to not marry again. She’s now close to 80 and no way close to being a cat lady. She has such an active life but then she also gets to live her life the way she wants to. She wouldn’t do it any other way.

This narrative that women aren’t living a complete life if they are alone is wrong and harmful. I wonder if some of this could be projecting.

[Anonymous]

My dad mom is 61 divorced my dad 5 years ago after 39 years together. She took up pickleball, triathlons (has now done 7), kayaking, and has been to 4 new countries.

Shes happier, healthier, and lives with purpose.

[Anonymous]

^meant to say my mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married almost 40 years with most of our friends being married 30-40 years. I can definitely see a difference between happy couples and those who seem to be coasting along in their relationship. But I sense that at this point in their lives divorce is unlikely to happen. Being 60+ and being alone by choice is a pretty lonely prospect especially for women. I assume that sex is still a part of the happy couples lives and it certainly is with ours.

says who? I know plenty of 60+ "alone by choice" women and they seem very happy to me. obviously a fairy-tale relationship would be preferable (at any age and gender) but the lonely cat lady thing is a stereotype I've never seen borne out in my own observations.

I’m 64 and I have a few friends who are in their 60’s and divorced. They are happier being divorced than in their bad marriages but they always tell me I’m so lucky to still be in a great relationship after almost 40 years. They are not cat ladies but they’d love to be in a LTR.

So my dad passed away many years ago and my mom made a conscious decision to not marry again. She’s now close to 80 and no way close to being a cat lady. She has such an active life but then she also gets to live her life the way she wants to. She wouldn’t do it any other way.

This narrative that women aren’t living a complete life if they are alone is wrong and harmful. I wonder if some of this could be projecting.

I think there might be a difference between divorced women and widows. My mom has been a widow for 15 years and my father was the love of her life and she has no interest in being in a relationship. Most of the divorced women I know, including my sister, would like to find real love.

[Anonymous]

Most likely the men got tired of a sexless marriage. I see more and more waiting until kids are off to college rear way they are not paying hold support with little to no custody or visitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most likely the men got tired of a sexless marriage. I see more and more waiting until kids are off to college rear way they are not paying hold support with little to no custody or visitation.

It’s year 2020. By default, men get joint custody. And unless the wife is unskilled and unemployable, there would be little to no child support: each is equally supporting the children while in custody.

[Anonymous]

1. Addiction + ADHD + difficult child + incompatibility
2. ADHD + finances + infidelity
3. Latent homosexuality
4. Finances + OCD
5. Narcissism + OCD + bulimia

See a pattern? You cannot change someone unless they want to work on things with a professional. You can choose to accept and love them anyways, but some issues will eventually be too much to bear for more than 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married almost 40 years with most of our friends being married 30-40 years. I can definitely see a difference between happy couples and those who seem to be coasting along in their relationship. But I sense that at this point in their lives divorce is unlikely to happen. Being 60+ and being alone by choice is a pretty lonely prospect especially for women. I assume that sex is still a part of the happy couples lives and it certainly is with ours.

says who? I know plenty of 60+ "alone by choice" women and they seem very happy to me. obviously a fairy-tale relationship would be preferable (at any age and gender) but the lonely cat lady thing is a stereotype I've never seen borne out in my own observations.

I’m 64 and I have a few friends who are in their 60’s and divorced. They are happier being divorced than in their bad marriages but they always tell me I’m so lucky to still be in a great relationship after almost 40 years. They are not cat ladies but they’d love to be in a LTR.

So my dad passed away many years ago and my mom made a conscious decision to not marry again. She’s now close to 80 and no way close to being a cat lady. She has such an active life but then she also gets to live her life the way she wants to. She wouldn’t do it any other way.

This narrative that women aren’t living a complete life if they are alone is wrong and harmful. I wonder if some of this could be projecting.

I think there might be a difference between divorced women and widows. My mom has been a widow for 15 years and my father was the love of her life and she has no interest in being in a relationship. Most of the divorced women I know, including my sister, would like to find real love.

Maybe not. My sister was dating a year after being widowed. 7 years out and she’s engaged. Everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^meant to say my mom

Wow married at 17 if my math is correct.

That took a lot of courage.

[Anonymous]

One couple divorced after 9 years. Both had been unfaithful and there was some domestic violence involved. Kids are older, they were 8 and 13 when separation began

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most likely the men got tired of a sexless marriage. I see more and more waiting until kids are off to college rear way they are not paying hold support with little to no custody or visitation.

Most divorces at that stage of life are initiated by women.