Familiarity with a disruptive kid in the classroom (FCPS) - what to do?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, my daughter is in a similar situation, although it sounds like not quite as frequent.
It sounds like her school has been trying hard to keep the time when the kids are evacuated useful, or at least pleasant/fun. When it was still warm/nice enough to go without coats, they'd take the kids to the playground. Now it sounds like the teacher grabs a book and they do read-alouds in the art room/computer room/gym/wherever there's currently an empty space.
As terrible as it sounds, it sounds like at least part of the solution for YOUR child is for the teacher to make the evacuation time more useful.

Also, as a PP said, don't focus so much on it when talking to your daughter. My DD is really just rolling with it, and doesn't seem too bothered, and I'm certain if I asked her about it she'd start focusing and thinking these evacuations were "bad" rather than just sort of a normal part of the day and a chance to get out of the boring classroom.


I would be raising holy hell at the school until my child was placed with another teacher. And I’d make it clear that that child was never to be put with my child again. Elevated cortisol can impair cognitive function and these kids are having cortisol spikes every time this kid goes haywire.

Nope nope nope nope nope.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Wrong, at least for many with special needs. It isn't a matter of knowing right from wrong, and for these kids discipline doesn't teach right from wrong. When they are in crisis mode, "fight or flight" kicks in. They cannot think rationally. What they haven't learned is how to regulate to keep from getting to that point, and this is where the schools need to focus the attention. Not in what to do when the child is upset, but in figuring out why the child is upset and teaching the child skills to deal with those feelings. When the school just kicks the kid out, or warehouses them off in a separate school, the skills are never learned and the kid ends up in prision.


That is sad, but the other kids should not have to live this way at school.


Then it is way beyond what a teacher with 25 other kids should have to do. If child does not have disregulation child should be out of mainstream classroom.
If this is happening 3x per week clearly figuring out how to regulate the child is way beyond the scope of a teacher in a gifted or standard class with 24 other students.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What do you mean OP - the kid is "gifted"? How do you know he accelerates in academics? Are you looking at his report card?



OP said this is going on in a "gifted" classroom. The disregulated child probably tests as "gifted" but clearly has exteme behavioral issues.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:you are either a parent at my daughter's school or this is really close to what is happening in my daughter's classroom.

The school is not doing anything and does not care about the rest of the kids in the class. This one kid is getting all the resources and all the attention. It really sucks.


Actually, no. The child in crisis is not getting the resources or attention they need, or it probably would be a different situation. The school is failing all the kids, especially that one.

As a parent with a SN child, mine is a great kid, but I can tell you they completely overlook the SN and tell me my child is fine as they don't want to be bothered helping. I'd have to spend thousands for an advocate and reality is even then, it will not change as we had a good IEP and they didn't follow it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, my daughter is in a similar situation, although it sounds like not quite as frequent.
It sounds like her school has been trying hard to keep the time when the kids are evacuated useful, or at least pleasant/fun. When it was still warm/nice enough to go without coats, they'd take the kids to the playground. Now it sounds like the teacher grabs a book and they do read-alouds in the art room/computer room/gym/wherever there's currently an empty space.
As terrible as it sounds, it sounds like at least part of the solution for YOUR child is for the teacher to make the evacuation time more useful.

Also, as a PP said, don't focus so much on it when talking to your daughter. My DD is really just rolling with it, and doesn't seem too bothered, and I'm certain if I asked her about it she'd start focusing and thinking these evacuations were "bad" rather than just sort of a normal part of the day and a chance to get out of the boring classroom.


I would be raising holy hell at the school until my child was placed with another teacher. And I’d make it clear that that child was never to be put with my child again. Elevated cortisol can impair cognitive function and these kids are having cortisol spikes every time this kid goes haywire.

Nope nope nope nope nope.


Having this elevated cortisol is kind of like the children being in school during wartime. I feel sad for our teachers of today and also for the 24 behaviorally regulated children
who conduct themselves with socially acceptable manners.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

I started talking to some friends in other FCPS and apparently this is more of the norm than what I would believe or even thought. I know I am coming off as insensitive and I am not the parent of this kid with issues -- but 25 other kids are suffering in their education. How is this fair for the teacher to have these kinds of disruptions on such a regular basis. And, what is my recourse if this kid hurts my kid since apparently he almost hit another kid with a chair (but missed) in one of these outbursts. He has pulled a kids hair and shoved another.


This is a result of activism. The disruptive kid can not be removed from the classroom. That is considered "exclusion." Teachers can only use positive methods of discipline.
Sometimes, these kids have serious disabilities that lead to this behavior, but must be mainstreamed. He's probably labeled "twice-exceptional."

I taught years ago. There have always been kids who behaved like this--although, there appear to be more now. There is also a difference in a "discipline" problem and a kid with special needs. Some kids are just troublemakers because they are spoiled or neglected. Others cannot seem to help it and the parents, too, are likely desperate.
But, these parents have no understanding of what this disruption does to others. It's the death of common sense. Kids like that need to be placed elsewhere if this happens regularly.


So much ignorance here. I don't believe that you taught in schools, because then you would know the problem is lack of funding for appropriate training of staff and also lack of more appropriate placements. No parent is ok with their kid having multiple violent meltdowns that require a classroom to be cleared out. That parent is desperately fighting for their child to receive appropriate services that can actually effectively address the issues at play. But those services take money and schools are working with a finite pot.

OP, your child deserves to be comfortable and safe, as does every child in that class, including the child who is acting out. When a child in the class has unmet needs that lead to interruptions and dangers for everyone, all the parents are on the same side. It's "insensitive" to speak about the other child as if he is a problem that needs to be removed. It is not insensitive to go to the principal and express concern about that child and your child's safety and how these disruptions are affecting them. Sometimes other parents speaking up are the push principals need to get additional help or make changes.

Of course, for privacy reasons the school will not be able to tell you anything about the other child: what they are trying, what the issue is, etc. They likely will not even be able to confirm which child it is. But that's ok, you don't need that information. Just let them know that you are aware and concerned about it.

Some parents are working very hard for a solution. Some parents have their own issues with self-regulation, some don't show up for meetings and don't implement any strategies at home (such as regular attendance and getting to school on time) I have been told "this is your job, you deal with it" by parents


And, as a parent, I've been told stay out of it and let the school handle it. (of course, that's not going to happen)
Anonymous
DD's class has a child who is similar. The child is 2E; quite brilliant, in fact. Last year (in third grade), the disruptions were frequent. This year, substantially less so. The kids aren't traumatized (he isn't bullying or targeting anyone; sometimes there is a flying chair, and a kid happens to be in the way), just aware of his cues, and how they need to respond.

We have talked about it at length, at home. As a group, DD and her friends also appear to have talked about it, at school. For them, it's been a good lesson in how everyone has their own burdens, strengths and weaknesses. Last year, when I asked her if there is anyone she wouldn't want in her class, this child was not the one she chose.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, my daughter is in a similar situation, although it sounds like not quite as frequent.
It sounds like her school has been trying hard to keep the time when the kids are evacuated useful, or at least pleasant/fun. When it was still warm/nice enough to go without coats, they'd take the kids to the playground. Now it sounds like the teacher grabs a book and they do read-alouds in the art room/computer room/gym/wherever there's currently an empty space.
As terrible as it sounds, it sounds like at least part of the solution for YOUR child is for the teacher to make the evacuation time more useful.

Also, as a PP said, don't focus so much on it when talking to your daughter. My DD is really just rolling with it, and doesn't seem too bothered, and I'm certain if I asked her about it she'd start focusing and thinking these evacuations were "bad" rather than just sort of a normal part of the day and a chance to get out of the boring classroom.


I would be raising holy hell at the school until my child was placed with another teacher. And I’d make it clear that that child was never to be put with my child again. Elevated cortisol can impair cognitive function and these kids are having cortisol spikes every time this kid goes haywire.

Nope nope nope nope nope.


Plus it teaches the other 24 children that there are no consequences to bad behavior (or disregulated behavior). The other children see that it is okay to assault the teacher
and throw chairs and nothing happens other than a tour to the hallway for the behaved children.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What do you mean OP - the kid is "gifted"? How do you know he accelerates in academics? Are you looking at his report card?



Gifted kids don’t always excel. Gifted kids with SN might be failing.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What do you mean OP - the kid is "gifted"? How do you know he accelerates in academics? Are you looking at his report card?



Gifted kids don’t always excel. Gifted kids with SN might be failing.


Possibility that he is in AAP?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, my daughter is in a similar situation, although it sounds like not quite as frequent.
It sounds like her school has been trying hard to keep the time when the kids are evacuated useful, or at least pleasant/fun. When it was still warm/nice enough to go without coats, they'd take the kids to the playground. Now it sounds like the teacher grabs a book and they do read-alouds in the art room/computer room/gym/wherever there's currently an empty space.
As terrible as it sounds, it sounds like at least part of the solution for YOUR child is for the teacher to make the evacuation time more useful.

Also, as a PP said, don't focus so much on it when talking to your daughter. My DD is really just rolling with it, and doesn't seem too bothered, and I'm certain if I asked her about it she'd start focusing and thinking these evacuations were "bad" rather than just sort of a normal part of the day and a chance to get out of the boring classroom.


I would be raising holy hell at the school until my child was placed with another teacher. And I’d make it clear that that child was never to be put with my child again. Elevated cortisol can impair cognitive function and these kids are having cortisol spikes every time this kid goes haywire.

Nope nope nope nope nope.


Plus it teaches the other 24 children that there are no consequences to bad behavior (or disregulated behavior). The other children see that it is okay to assault the teacher
and throw chairs and nothing happens other than a tour to the hallway for the behaved children.


My DS' and his friends take away (at least from what I heard from them or their parents) was that they knew they couldn't do it, but it was ok if Larla did it because of her issues. All it did was ostracize Larla further. The kids wanted nothing to do with her. And that likely just made her behavior worse. His teacher (before I got him moved from the class) said that DS pretty much just ignored the girl who had the outburts. Which is what we were happy with. But other kids were definitely mean to her because of it. I volunteer and had witnessed her outburts and some kids would roll their eyes and say "great,.the psycho is at it again". The teacher and aide were beyond frustrated and had stopped correcting them after a month. There is no good answer. The school was able to move 5 of the 16 kids out of the class before there was no room to move anyone else. The environment was not good for anyone and I do think that girl was failed by multiple people in her life.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure you can involve the police if children are being assaulted by other children. We had this type of situation at a private - basically were told there was nothing they could do, but was made clear we were not constrained from contacting the authorities.


And so continues the school to prison pipeline. This is a child we're talking about. Do you really think this child should have an arrest record and perhaps be incarcerated so that your child doesn't miss a few minutes of instruction? Do you think that's good for society long term?


The school to prison pipeline continues because the disruptive kid never learns it is wrong to assault someone. They are never disciplined at home for throwing chairs.
They are not disciplined in the school district for assaulting the teacher. They turn 18, assault someone, and then they see prison. Maybe they could learn
what is acceptable behavior before then.


FCPS's solution is an isolation room. They get suspended over and over again for behavior issues, so they are being "disciplined". They are removed from the situation instead of actually getting what they need.
Anonymous
Somewhat off topic but the saintly K-2 inclusion teacher left our school today in an ambulance. She has also previously had a broken wrist and countless bruises.

How is this okay??
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Somewhat off topic but the saintly K-2 inclusion teacher left our school today in an ambulance. She has also previously had a broken wrist and countless bruises.

How is this okay??


It's not. I'm a nurse and see this at work too. But we are told we aren't doing the right things to de.escalate the situation. Or that they can't be held responsible because of dementia/detox/or their illness. I completely understand that certain people have difficulty controlling their behavior and I don't think those people should be excluded from society BUT there has to be something in between the inclusive/exclusive environments they are trying to do. It's not good for anyone
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Somewhat off topic but the saintly K-2 inclusion teacher left our school today in an ambulance. She has also previously had a broken wrist and countless bruises.

How is this okay??


Welcome to the new way of doing things. People aren't being held accountable for their actions because of whatever diagnosis they have. Scary to think what will happen when these kids grow up. The whole "people need to tolerate your behavior" can't go on forever. Personally I think it's doing these kids a major disservice.
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