Familiarity with a disruptive kid in the classroom (FCPS) - what to do?

[Anonymous]

OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

[Anonymous]

Similar situation with a kid at my child's school a few years ago. Violence, threats to harm self and other students, and classroom destruction were happening at least twice a week. Very bright kid who definitely had emotional problems and parents were unwilling to consider alternative placement, per the mom's regular FB posts and rants. Admin was kind of rolling over and not doing much although I think the teacher was trying her best. A bunch of parents, including me, escalated the situation in writing to the district superintendent and PSL. Everything was documented. At least one parent with a legal background threatened legal action after their child was harmed. The kid was eventually moved to an ED center and appears to be doing much better. I mean no disrespect, but being very bright or even highly gifted won't get you very far in life if you are emotionally unstable and disregulated. Getting the behaviors under control and keeping everyone safe should be first priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

I started talking to some friends in other FCPS and apparently this is more of the norm than what I would believe or even thought. I know I am coming off as insensitive and I am not the parent of this kid with issues -- but 25 other kids are suffering in their education. How is this fair for the teacher to have these kinds of disruptions on such a regular basis. And, what is my recourse if this kid hurts my kid since apparently he almost hit another kid with a chair (but missed) in one of these outbursts. He has pulled a kids hair and shoved another.

This is a result of activism. The disruptive kid can not be removed from the classroom. That is considered "exclusion." Teachers can only use positive methods of discipline.
Sometimes, these kids have serious disabilities that lead to this behavior, but must be mainstreamed. He's probably labeled "twice-exceptional."

I taught years ago. There have always been kids who behaved like this--although, there appear to be more now. There is also a difference in a "discipline" problem and a kid with special needs. Some kids are just troublemakers because they are spoiled or neglected. Others cannot seem to help it and the parents, too, are likely desperate.
But, these parents have no understanding of what this disruption does to others. It's the death of common sense. Kids like that need to be placed elsewhere if this happens regularly.

I have so, so many thoughts about the “2E” label.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

I started talking to some friends in other FCPS and apparently this is more of the norm than what I would believe or even thought. I know I am coming off as insensitive and I am not the parent of this kid with issues -- but 25 other kids are suffering in their education. How is this fair for the teacher to have these kinds of disruptions on such a regular basis. And, what is my recourse if this kid hurts my kid since apparently he almost hit another kid with a chair (but missed) in one of these outbursts. He has pulled a kids hair and shoved another.

This is a result of activism. The disruptive kid can not be removed from the classroom. That is considered "exclusion." Teachers can only use positive methods of discipline.
Sometimes, these kids have serious disabilities that lead to this behavior, but must be mainstreamed. He's probably labeled "twice-exceptional."

I taught years ago. There have always been kids who behaved like this--although, there appear to be more now. There is also a difference in a "discipline" problem and a kid with special needs. Some kids are just troublemakers because they are spoiled or neglected. Others cannot seem to help it and the parents, too, are likely desperate.
But, these parents have no understanding of what this disruption does to others. It's the death of common sense. Kids like that need to be placed elsewhere if this happens regularly.

Some parents don't know, and some don't care because they firmly believe that their disruptive child/student is the "school's problem." If you child is disrupting the classroom, it is not ONE person's problem - it is the ENTIRE classes' problem. Time for some parents and some teachers to step up. Some are great, but some just aren't. It is NOT up to students to police their classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

I started talking to some friends in other FCPS and apparently this is more of the norm than what I would believe or even thought. I know I am coming off as insensitive and I am not the parent of this kid with issues -- but 25 other kids are suffering in their education. How is this fair for the teacher to have these kinds of disruptions on such a regular basis. And, what is my recourse if this kid hurts my kid since apparently he almost hit another kid with a chair (but missed) in one of these outbursts. He has pulled a kids hair and shoved another.

This is a result of activism. The disruptive kid can not be removed from the classroom. That is considered "exclusion." Teachers can only use positive methods of discipline.
Sometimes, these kids have serious disabilities that lead to this behavior, but must be mainstreamed. He's probably labeled "twice-exceptional."

I taught years ago. There have always been kids who behaved like this--although, there appear to be more now. There is also a difference in a "discipline" problem and a kid with special needs. Some kids are just troublemakers because they are spoiled or neglected. Others cannot seem to help it and the parents, too, are likely desperate.
But, these parents have no understanding of what this disruption does to others. It's the death of common sense. Kids like that need to be placed elsewhere if this happens regularly.

I have so, so many thoughts about the “2E” label.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my daughter is in a similar situation, although it sounds like not quite as frequent.
It sounds like her school has been trying hard to keep the time when the kids are evacuated useful, or at least pleasant/fun. When it was still warm/nice enough to go without coats, they'd take the kids to the playground. Now it sounds like the teacher grabs a book and they do read-alouds in the art room/computer room/gym/wherever there's currently an empty space.
As terrible as it sounds, it sounds like at least part of the solution for YOUR child is for the teacher to make the evacuation time more useful.

Also, as a PP said, don't focus so much on it when talking to your daughter. My DD is really just rolling with it, and doesn't seem too bothered, and I'm certain if I asked her about it she'd start focusing and thinking these evacuations were "bad" rather than just sort of a normal part of the day and a chance to get out of the boring classroom.

I would be raising holy hell at the school until my child was placed with another teacher. And I’d make it clear that that child was never to be put with my child again. Elevated cortisol can impair cognitive function and these kids are having cortisol spikes every time this kid goes haywire.

Nope nope nope nope nope.

Having this elevated cortisol is kind of like the children being in school during wartime. I feel sad for our teachers of today and also for the 24 behaviorally regulated children
who conduct themselves with socially acceptable manners.

You feel sad for everybody BUT the disabled child? That says so much about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my suggestion would be to contact the principal and request that another adult be added to the room in the short term to help the disruptive child and keep everyone else safe.

That takes a long time and a lot of documentation.

Maybe, but at least it is a suggestion/request that would actually help the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

[Anonymous]

Family friends in FCPS who have a disruptive child, severe ADHD, have spent many hours and funds on therapy yet he still hits other students and recently the teacher. He's always had issues since he was a toddler and was kicked out of preschools. I feel so bad for the family (other kids are fine)! I think he needed early intervention services but his needs were not identified as he was home with a nanny until 4 and perhaps parents were in denial thinking he would grow out of it.

He had an IEP, lots of FCPS counseling services, many warnings and suspensions, but he is now headed for a special needs school for emotionally disturbed students. Parents are devasted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family friends in FCPS who have a disruptive child, severe ADHD, have spent many hours and funds on therapy yet he still hits other students and recently the teacher. He's always had issues since he was a toddler and was kicked out of preschools. I feel so bad for the family (other kids are fine)! I think he needed early intervention services but his needs were not identified as he was home with a nanny until 4 and perhaps parents were in denial thinking he would grow out of it.

He had an IEP, lots of FCPS counseling services, many warnings and suspensions, but he is now headed for a special needs school for emotionally disturbed students. Parents are devasted.

But why are they devastated? It's probably going to be a much better environment for their kid. I've seen that kid in a public school. It's really hard for them. No kids want to eat lunch with them, play with them, or be their partner. And that certainly doesn't help with their behavior. I know no one wants the label of "emotionally disturbed" but FCPS was clearly not a good environment either

[Anonymous]

Unlikely. I have worked in several of the contract schools and the FCPS special ed schools. They are vastly inferior in every way to neighborhood schools. You have no idea how bare bones the education offered to these kids is.

[Anonymous]

That is completely untrue. There are excellent teachers and kids who are thriving in some CSS programs. There is no reason for it to take months to get a new placement for a child who is acting out this badly. If my kid were in that class I would be calling every member of the school board and the superintendent. The secondary trauma to the classmates and teachers is real, and the out of control child is not learning to cope or be successful. Nobody wants to be out of control all the time.