Is a high libido more of a curse or blessing for a woman?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have had relationships with mismatched libidos, i just cannot fake it longterm. I turned down a marriage prospect because of it, not only was it mismatched but he was unskilled.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the situation. Sometimes a blessing, sometimes a curse. I have a high libido. When I am with a guy, blessing. When I am at work and all I can think of is the young strong paramedic next to me, well that’s a curse.

[Anonymous]

serious question, so what is considered a high drive for a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:In long term relationships, I have a hypothesis that any libido disparity will expand over time. Doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman with the higher libido (though it's most often the man.) Having your S/O initiate sex when you don't particularly want it will increasingly lower your drive. Having your S/O reject you for sex when you do want it will create a feeling of scarcity that will increase your desire.

The small imbalance will grow - it's like a spinning top that wobbles a little at first and then more and more until it falls down.

High libido man here, this is my marriage exactly. It will probably be the reason we divorce when the youngest leaves for college.

If you put something like that over your marriage, kids and future you're really a dim bulb. Even if my DH got ED or had cancer I'm not going to trade him in...lol. Our dynasty the future of our kids and grand-kids comes before my sex life...LMAO!!! It's so absurd I can't fathom how stupid some are. If you think one person if going to for-fill all your needs you're in for a big surprise. The next one will have shortcomings after the fog wears off.

You do not need to be nasty. I understand that you are not blessed in this manner, its ok. We don't think less of you.

Well what do you expect. When you exclaim that's the reason you're divorcing, while giving the impression the rest is good it doesn't reflect well upon you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blessing.

My marriage is solid, in part due to my libido.

That is kind of sad.

That is sad because what happens if they have a health problem, or cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:serious question, so what is considered a high drive for a woman?

Minimum: Daily
Maximum: None

Can’t go more than 2 or 3 days. Even I get annoyed with my period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your miss-match due to frequency or not having enough Os each go around? My DH never finishes until I've had all the Os I have in me that night - it's always at least two and sometimes 5-10. So if your issue is that you need to have more orgasms each time you have sex, that feels more fixable through communication. Frequency/ number of times per week is harder to align on.

In general and not explicit terms, how are you having all of these Os? PIV?

DP. Lots of direct attention then finish with PIV. Seems to be a point of pride with some guys that they can make it happen several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:serious question, so what is considered a high drive for a woman?

Minimum: Daily
Maximum: None

Can’t go more than 2 or 3 days. Even I get annoyed with my period.

Preach sister

[Anonymous]

More of a curse. I am low drive, but have a good friend who is high drive. Since her divorce she will have sex with anyone, just to have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:serious question, so what is considered a high drive for a woman?

Minimum: Daily
Maximum: None

Can’t go more than 2 or 3 days. Even I get annoyed with my period.

So high drive for woman == normal drive for a man
Got it.

[Anonymous]

62 year old male here with I’d guess an average libido. Early this year for a few months I dated a 56 year old woman with an unbelievably high libido who was very open about her needs. She had been divorced about ten years and it wasn’t long before I realized that a ton of guys had been there before me. It was fun for awhile but she definitely wasn’t LTR material.

[Anonymous]

I am very high drive and DH is low drive.
It SUCKS.
And it seems to get worse over time.
My toys get too much use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your miss-match due to frequency or not having enough Os each go around? My DH never finishes until I've had all the Os I have in me that night - it's always at least two and sometimes 5-10. So if your issue is that you need to have more orgasms each time you have sex, that feels more fixable through communication. Frequency/ number of times per week is harder to align on.

In general and not explicit terms, how are you having all of these Os? PIV?

DP. Lots of direct attention then finish with PIV. Seems to be a point of pride with some guys that they can make it happen several times.

DP and agree. Direct attention with tongue. Most women can't have multiple Os from PIV alone- porn has lied to you.

It SHOULD be a point of pride for all men....but some are too selfish or unskilled. All the men on this board who are so bitter about low libido wives should have a hard look at themselves and think about how much pleasure they gave to their wives vs just wanting to pump away like a jackhammer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:62 year old male here with I’d guess an average libido. Early this year for a few months I dated a 56 year old woman with an unbelievably high libido who was very open about her needs. She had been divorced about ten years and it wasn’t long before I realized that a ton of guys had been there before me. It was fun for awhile but she definitely wasn’t LTR material.

This is the problem right here. Some guys think that only "good girls" who are low libido/repressed/prudes perhaps are LTR material. They will only marry women who have had like one other partner who was a long-term boyfriend.

And then they wonder why their wives don't want to have sex. You can't have it both ways, Chad. Hopefully this slut-shamey attitude will go away once people this age shuffle off the mortal coil.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Same for me. I’m in an fwb arrangement now with someone who I have great chemistry with. It’s amazing how that can make your drive even higher. He is BLESSED downstairs too. LOL. I hadn’t dated many people before my ex so its my first time experiencing someone gifted and talented.

That’s great but what happens when you get used to the size and then he finds someone else? You won’t be able to be fulfilled by most people that you find in the dating pool.

PP will be fine. They're not as rare as you might like to think.

+1. Why do people seem to think that big ones are so rare?

That said, endowed and skilled is less common than I'd personally prefer. Give me average/above average and thorough any day over blessed and lazy.

But to the OP's question, my personal experience has been that it is very much a blessing. I can only imagine it must be much easier to manage a high libido than to stimulate a low one.

I think that most women genuinely don’t have a size preference.

So not true!! You must be a guy.

So you have a preference for larger? I suspect that you’re in the minority.