Is a high libido more of a curse or blessing for a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Same for me. I’m in an fwb arrangement now with someone who I have great chemistry with. It’s amazing how that can make your drive even higher. He is BLESSED downstairs too. LOL. I hadn’t dated many people before my ex so its my first time experiencing someone gifted and talented.

How did you meet him? Dating app?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Wow. Psoriasis isn't something that your ex could help. That's a crappy thing to say.

The lifestyle choice to be a fat drunk with abusive rage contributed to his skin. Is it nice? No. But it’s not nice having your life destroyed by an inept drunk either. Oh well.

You're the one who married the guy in the first place. You are crappy at choosing men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In long term relationships, I have a hypothesis that any libido disparity will expand over time. Doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman with the higher libido (though it's most often the man.) Having your S/O initiate sex when you don't particularly want it will increasingly lower your drive. Having your S/O reject you for sex when you do want it will create a feeling of scarcity that will increase your desire.

The small imbalance will grow - it's like a spinning top that wobbles a little at first and then more and more until it falls down.

Great explanation. I never thought of it exactly this way - but agree with the top analogy particularly. But-- as a woman, at least-- I found that being rejected by past SO's for sex actually lowered my drive (not increased it) and I sometimes "go along" with sex when not overly in the mood-- but usually get into it and regular sex makes me want more sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Same for me. I’m in an fwb arrangement now with someone who I have great chemistry with. It’s amazing how that can make your drive even higher. He is BLESSED downstairs too. LOL. I hadn’t dated many people before my ex so its my first time experiencing someone gifted and talented.

How did you meet him? Dating app?

We met at a foodbank event with our respective companies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Wow. Psoriasis isn't something that your ex could help. That's a crappy thing to say.

The lifestyle choice to be a fat drunk with abusive rage contributed to his skin. Is it nice? No. But it’s not nice having your life destroyed by an inept drunk either. Oh well.

You're the one who married the guy in the first place. You are crappy at choosing men.

Maybe. I’m working on that now. In spades sorry about your psoriasis didn’t mean to make it general. His was gross I’m sure yours isn’t. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In long term relationships, I have a hypothesis that any libido disparity will expand over time. Doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman with the higher libido (though it's most often the man.) Having your S/O initiate sex when you don't particularly want it will increasingly lower your drive. Having your S/O reject you for sex when you do want it will create a feeling of scarcity that will increase your desire.

The small imbalance will grow - it's like a spinning top that wobbles a little at first and then more and more until it falls down.

I tend agree with this, judging from a rough patch in my marriage.

High libido can be a curse or blessing depending on who you are with. Certainly in my house if DW craved another orgasim I would spend the time and effort to insure she does

[Anonymous]

Depends on whether she has a healthy, willing outlet for her libido.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman with a high libido, my XH had low, we divorced because of that and many other things. Things got worse over time as explained. It felt like a curse. If I had no drive I could have stayed there bored and untouched for the rest of my life.

I’m in a LTR with a partner who is also high libido — and it’s great. Neither of us reject the other, we are both satisfied and we both feel desired. So my same libido, it feels like a blessing now. I would hate to lose out on someone I love so much because I couldn’t keep up with his drive — and open the door for him eventually cheating, or being resentful, or whatever. So now it feels like a blessing.

I’d say blessing or curse depends on how well you know yourself to truly pick the right partner for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Wow. Psoriasis isn't something that your ex could help. That's a crappy thing to say.

The lifestyle choice to be a fat drunk with abusive rage contributed to his skin. Is it nice? No. But it’s not nice having your life destroyed by an inept drunk either. Oh well.

You're the one who married the guy in the first place. You are crappy at choosing men.

I actually give her credit for leaving her man. Many people make crappy choices in partners...how they move forward is what counts. Good for you PP.

[Anonymous]

Blessing. My libido is higher than DH's, so I don't always get laid every time I want, but he almost never gets turned down, which I think is good because I could see regularly initiating with no payoff building resentment. I can take care of myself too, without feeling distant from him. A dry spell for us is 2-3x/week, which is good because on the rare occasions we can't have sex at all due to external factors, I definitely feel myself getting irritated with him over little things, and I assume it works both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Same for me. I’m in an fwb arrangement now with someone who I have great chemistry with. It’s amazing how that can make your drive even higher. He is BLESSED downstairs too. LOL. I hadn’t dated many people before my ex so its my first time experiencing someone gifted and talented.

That’s great but what happens when you get used to the size and then he finds someone else? You won’t be able to be fulfilled by most people that you find in the dating pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Wow. Psoriasis isn't something that your ex could help. That's a crappy thing to say.

The lifestyle choice to be a fat drunk with abusive rage contributed to his skin. Is it nice? No. But it’s not nice having your life destroyed by an inept drunk either. Oh well.

You're the one who married the guy in the first place. You are crappy at choosing men.

I'll bet she overlooked a bunch of nice guys who were good in the sack when she chose that loser because back in the day he was popular.

[Anonymous]

As a single woman with what I think is a normal (not high, not low) libido, I am thankful my libido isn't higher. I'd rather make my dating decisions based on other factors than whether or not I'm horny! As it is, I can kind of back-burner the issue when I'm super busy and enjoy dating and sex when someone good comes along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blessing. My libido is higher than DH's, so I don't always get laid every time I want, but he almost never gets turned down, which I think is good because I could see regularly initiating with no payoff building resentment. I can take care of myself too, without feeling distant from him. A dry spell for us is 2-3x/week, which is good because on the rare occasions we can't have sex at all due to external factors, I definitely feel myself getting irritated with him over little things, and I assume it works both ways.

Another high libido PP in this thread and ITA with all you wrote. I also think that not being sexually satisfied definitely can have you gicing your spouse the side eye, like “why are you chewing your cornflakes like that?! Ugh.” If you’re doing it on the regular .. you’re like, “shall I pour you more corn flakes my wonderful king”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handled it by divorcing my overweight usually drunk psoriasis covered ex and enjoying my libido in a whole new way. I’ve found that my need for sex can lie dormant (thabks magic wand) but when I find a partner I have great chemistry with its amazing. I am financially and emotionally independent and am able to explore and gratify my sexuality.

Wow. Psoriasis isn't something that your ex could help. That's a crappy thing to say.

The lifestyle choice to be a fat drunk with abusive rage contributed to his skin. Is it nice? No. But it’s not nice having your life destroyed by an inept drunk either. Oh well.

You're the one who married the guy in the first place. You are crappy at choosing men.

I'll bet she overlooked a bunch of nice guys who were good in the sack when she chose that loser because back in the day he was popular.

Not PP, but I did pick a low sex spouse and eventually divorced. He was a nice guy, and definitely NOT an alpha male.